Chapter Two

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Walking down the hallway in the school, Jason suddenly looks at me with a small glimmer of mischief in his hazel eyes. "Mel, whose turn is it to pay for a movie date?"

I look at him like he is kidding. He knows it's his turn. That's why we haven't been to the movies in four months. Jason and I ordinarily take turns in treating each other on our little outings.

"Really, Jay? Going there again, boo?" We stop by my locker, and he grins in my face, causing me to immediately blush. "You are the reason why I didn't get to see the last two movies I wanted to see. You think that you are slick throwing movie nights at your house once a month. Baby, I read between those lines two months ago."

He chuckles a little as I shake my head at him and his antics. "You got me, Melly. How about me, you, Kerri, and Terrance do a movie Friday night after school?"

I make a face and pout my lips, while handing him a book out my locker to toss in my bag that he is holding. "Ugh. Them two? You know you can't take those two to the same public place and expect to stay."

It's then that I realize that he doesn't invite Leslie. I silently wonder why. Part of me doesn't want to remind him, because the excitement of having him to myself is overwhelming. Then there's the other part of me who just will not let my curiosity rest. "No, Leslie?"

He shrugs and doesn't show any sort of real emotion. "This morning we got off to a bad start, you know? She saw us in a car and she thinks our relationship is too close for comfort. Same story, new day."
All I can do is nod my head in pretense to understand as one key word burns in my head: Relationship. I'm so used to calling it a friendship that the word takes me for a loop. "I feel as though she wants me to choose between you and her, and I choose you all the time. That's why she and I keep breaking up."

Now he officially shocks me. I didn't think that I was the reason that their relationship is on and off. I have always thought it was her bitchy selfish ways. Maybe I mean more to him than I think. I almost want to drop the subject, but I need to know more information. "What if she makes you choose?" I close my locker and face him.

He shrugs a little, smiling from ear to ear. "If I have to choose, it's going to always be me and you."

A smile creeps on my face unwillingly. "You are going to be a very single man, if that's what you tell all your future girlfriends." I say, sounding a little too happy at the thought of my best friend never being in anything serious.

He laughs at me and nods. "Yeah, but I'm sure none of them will ever match my Melly baby."

I smile at him as we walk towards my next class together.

*****

By the time lunch comes around, I can't wait to update Kerri on Jason and I. I'm almost sure that I am ready to reveal the secrets in my heart. Every detail from the small moments in his car, until he walked me to lunch is telling my heart that it's time. With my mind and heart discussing the matter between classes, the conclusion is quite simple. He has to have some type of feelings for me if he will always choose me.

When I see Kerri sitting at the lunch table alone going through her phone, I cannot contain my happiness. I sit down across from her, wondering where I should start.

"Did you know Jason will always choose me?" I ask in excitement, jumping right in.

She laughs and nods, glancing at her phone. "Duh, but that isn't classified information." She says a bit absentmindedly, while swiping her phone. "Sorry, girl, it's a text." She clears her throat and puts her phone away. "He texted me telling me that this year maybe we should just be close friends." She shakes her head and gives me a sarcastic laugh. "This dude is going to make me go crazy. Last night he is all up in my ear telling me he wants us to get back together. Now, he's playing fucking mind games. Ugh!"

I'm not sure what to say. I can see the anger in her as she looks at her phone again. "Un-fucking-believable, Mel! He just texted me telling me that . . . " I sigh, slightly annoyed. This is not how I saw this conversation going. She looks at me, smiling sadly. "Sorry, sweetie, I'm sure I'm being rude."

"A little, but it's just . . . you're the only person I can talk to about how I feel." And I have the urge to let it all spill over.

She nods her head in agreement, putting her phone away. She smiles, "Besides, you didn't tell me what he needed to talk to you about this morning. I've been dying to know. Did you two have the talk?"

I shake my head. "No." I sigh, thinking about this morning, when he revealed how he felt about Leslie. "I'm confused, Kerri." I admit as I shrug my shoulders and realize it is a loss cause. After putting the day's details together, I really can't say where Jason's heart is at.

Kerri sneaks a look at her newest text and quickly text him back. She looks up at me. "Well, what's up?"

"He told me that he would choose me over everyone every single time, but whenever Leslie comes around, it's like he's in a trance. I don't know when to talk to him."

She nods, but I can't tell if she is agreeing with me, or thinking about her text from whatever the hell he is to her at that moment. Her phone vibrates, and we both look at it. She grabs it quickly looking at her text message. "Sorry."

I see my phone vibrate next to my bottle of water, and I quickly glance at the screen. I smile, when I see that it's a text from Jason.

Melly bae u up for library after last class?

You kno it.

We there ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

"What are you smiling about?"

I chuckle a little bit at my friend's nosey self. She no longer cares about her own phone. "Jay just sent me a text message, asking me if I wanted to go to the library after school. I told him yes."

She looks at me in confusion.

"I guess I'm happy, because he's always thinking of me, instead of Leslie." Her eyebrows raise slightly, showing signs she still doesn't understand what makes me happy about a simple text about going to the library. I roll my eyes, "Don't try to understand it, Kerri."

Kerri laughs at me. "Simple things, huh?"

I nod my head in agreement. "With Jay, it takes nothing more."

*****

By the time Jay and I make it to the library after school, I had convinced myself to just tell him how I feel. Part of me feels like he is possibly on the same page as me. The other part feels like he is just being himself. Jason is always such a sweetheart.

I take a deep breath and prepare myself mentally for him not to feel the same way as me. "Jay." I say his name so softly that he doesn't hear me. He's looking in his book, taking notes. I clear my throat a little and try again. "Jay." This time he looks at me and smiles. I can't help, but to smile back at him

"Yeah, Melly baby?"

I wonder if he knows exactly what he does to me every single time he calls me Melly baby. Well, it's time that I let him know. I clear my throat again. "We need to talk."

He nods, "I agree, but maybe we should wait, until later. You're still coming over for dinner, right?"

I nod silently, wondering why I just can't say the words.

"Good, because my mom is making you favorite meal. Bacon cheeseburgers with cheese fries."

I smile at him and hit his hand playfully. "That's your favorite meal, fatty. Mine is her lasagna."

"I know." He smiles, shaking his head. "Hey, Mel, I perfected my mom's lasagna over the summer."

"You didn't?" I gasp. His mom's lasagna is life.

He nods his head, wiggling his eyebrows playfully. I've been in love with his mom's lasagna since she first made it for me in the fifth grade, and he knows this.

The grin on his face grows larger. "Perfected it. I'm going to make it for you Sunday, if you're nice to me."

I laugh out loud at his silliness. The librarian gives Jason and I a dirty look. Jason smiles at me and nods.

I glance down at the pages in my book, wondering how we got so off topic that I suddenly have to start all over with telling how I feel. I look back up at Jason, and he is staring at me. He grins, and I mouth the word what. He nods towards the librarian. I look in her direction and realize that she is staring at us. I shake my head and smile at him. At the same time we both close our books. Jason and I have to belong together. We don't need words. He grabs my bag, and we walk out the library laughing.

*****

It's after dinner and I'm sitting in Jason's bed watching a movie with him. I can't concentrate, because I'm convincing myself mentally that I have to tell him my true feelings. His head is laying on my legs, and I'm gently brushing his hair with his brush. With every stroke I make, I know he has to feel what I'm feeling. How can we spend this much time with one another, and he not feel anything? How can he think that this is a regular friendship? This is more than just a classic friendship that we share. Leslie is even threatened by our closeness.

"Jay." As soon as I say his name, he looks up at me with one of his brilliant smiles. At this moment, I start coaching myself, because I have one chance to help him understand how I feel.

"Something's wrong?"

I smile at him and try to find the words somewhere. All of a sudden, it seems as though I've forgotten most of the words out of the English dictionary. He just looks at me, patiently. I love you and always will love you. I think the words to myself with my mouth open. Not a single sound came out. Maybe I shouldn't start off with the word love. Love is a strong word to begin with. I take a deep breath. "I . . . I like spending time with you." The words sound foreign coming out of my mouth.

He smiles at me and nods. "I like spending time with you, also. I guess that's why we're always together. That's why you're my best friend. You get me in a way that no one else does."

No, he doesn't fully understand where I'm going. I take another deep breath and wonder why this is taking so long and being so difficult to get out. "You are the closest person to me in my life, Jay, baby."

His smile gets wider, and he sits up in his bed. "Same here."

I look in his eyes wondering how much of that he means as a friend only comment. I'm still not sure after everything today. I feel like I should just blurt it out, instead of being delicate about the whole thing. Whatever is going to happen, is going to happen regardless of how I word it. "Jason, I ---"

His mom pops her head into his bedroom. "Mel and Jay, summer is over with. There's school tomorrow and it's almost eleven. Jay, maybe you can give her a ride home in the next ten minutes?"

He nods in agreement and his mom smiles. "Thanks for coming over for dinner, Melly."

"Thanks for dinner." I say, weakly. She walks away, and I feel Jason's eyes on me. I look at him in question. "What?"

"What's wrong, boo? Since this morning you've been acting kind of weird."

"Nothing."

His eyes look sad, and I can see he's trying to figure it out. "Come on, Mel, talk to me. Are we okay?"

I never want Jay to doubt himself. I fake a smile and nod. "Better than okay."

He laughs at me and gets out the bed, grabbing his car keys. "Stop faking and lets go. If you got a problem with me, Mel, you better tell me."

I get out the bed, deciding to just give up on expressing myself to him. We walk towards his bedroom door, and he gently grabs my arm pulling me towards him. We are mere inches from kissing. I feel my heart race rapidly. I swallow hard looking into his eyes. Oh, God. Does he know what he does to me?

"I mean it, Mel. If we're not good, let me know."

I give him a small nod, unable to do anything else.

I am at a loss for words. It feels like hours go by with us standing there with him looking at me and me looking back at him. He smiles at me, and I can't form any facial movements. I wonder if he hears my heart.

His mom pops her head back in his room, startling both him and I. "Hey, Jas, can you take my car instead and fill the tank?"

"Sure, Mom."

"Get the money from your dad. He's in the kitchen." She smiles at me. "See you tomorrow, Mel."

I force a smile as she walks away. What the hell just happened?

Jason puts his hand on my lower back, pushing me out his bedroom door. I feel a jolt of electricity hit my body, and I just pray that I get home without giving away my true feelings. As afraid as I am to make eye contact with him, I sneak a glance at him to read his face. It seems as though he's afraid to look at me, also. Maybe he felt the electricity too.


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