I lay on my bed thinking deeply about how cruel life could be. Why was I destined to such a life? I didn't want this for myself, but I felt helpless. My life was as bland as it was short. I willed myself not to cry and clenched my eyes shut. Why did I want to cry?

Just a month ago, I didn't give much thought to dying. In fact, after I had decided to stop looking for a treatment, I felt less restless. I had finally been able to sleep. I was perfectly unfazed by leaving

That was, until Aaron came into my life.

I groaned, rubbing my face with my hands. I had to stop thinking about him. He was bad for me. He gave me desires and wishes to live and that was a bad thing to wish for. Especially, when I didn't have enough money or a definitive cure.

I sighed in frustration at my stupid desires and pulled myself off the bed. Maybe some food would take my mind off of it.

I skipped into the kitchen, humming and looked through the fridge.

"How can you be so happy?" Someone called out from behind me.

I let out a shriek and whirled around, clutching my heart.

My mom stood a few feet away from me, her face curious and upset.

"W-what?" I choked out.

My mum pursed her lips and breathed out heavily.

"How can you skip and hum so nonchalantly as if there's no risk of you dying tomorrow?" She questioned, her voice trembling.

I closed my eyes and turned away from my mom. I wouldn't cry.
"Don't I have the right to make this decision, mom?" I shot back, trying to keep my voice strong.

She grabbed my shoulders and twisted me around, hitting my back on the fridge.
"You have the right to live as well!" She screamed, glaring at me with so much love.

"I also have the right to make my own choices, mom! I have no other choice" I screamed back, grabbing her hands and pushing them off of me.

I couldn't bear to tell her what I knew; what I had heard. There was no donor out that for me and I knew my mum would sell her own life, if she could continue the search. It was becoming rather detrimental to her health now too.

"Why?!" She questioned. She looked at my face, trying to read me. She fell to her knees, staring at the ground sadly.

"Why?" She questioned, more softly this time.

She looked up at me, guilt-ridden. The look nearly made me snap.
"Am I not a good mother, Alexis? Do you hate your life here with me?" She questioned, crying.

"No" I reassured, kneeling on the ground beside her.

"You're the best mother in the world and I love being here with you" I said, hugging her.

She hugged me back.
"Then why? Why would you want to die?" She questioned, sniffing after every word.

I wiped her tears.
"Because there is nothing else I can do." I said simply and with that I walked out the kitchen and ran upstairs to my room.

I shut the door, sliding down it. My mom wouldn't understand my reasoning. After I go, she would have nothing to worry about. She would be lifted from a huge burden.

She was hoping and praying that a miracle would happen, but I was a realist and so I knew what would happen. I willed myself not to cry as I trudged to the bed, sinking down with a heavy sigh.

I closed my eyes, feeling very tired all of a sudden. I was falling into a deep sleep and-

RING

My eyes shot open and I sat up straight, staring at my phone.

I thought about who had my number. Did Aaron decide to call me? I smiled slightly at the thought, especially needing the distraction right now after what had just happened. I had thought i would hear Aaron's familiar lilt.

I was not expecting a deep voice to greet me from the other side of the phone.

"Who is this?" I questioned, slight disappointment filling me.

"Why do you sound so disappointed?" The deep voice said jokingly. The voice was familiar. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"Who is it?" I repeated, feeling more awake then before.

The deep voice laughed.
"I'll give you one clue.... Alex." The voice said.

I smiled, knowing exactly who the voice belongs to.
"Eli!" I chirped happily.

He laughed again, ending it with a snort.
"There's the snort I missed so much, Sir Snorters" I teased, leaning back into my cushion and, truth be told, I did. I missed his presence and was glad he was at least there to ease my worries.

"Hey!" He chimed defensively, making me laugh.
"It's not Sir Snorters anymore! It's Eli!" He said childishly over the phone. I could imagine him pouting.

"Well, ELI, what do I owe to the pleasure of hearing your voice?" I said in a bored drawl, putting emphasis on the nickname 'Eli'.

He laughed again.

"I was wondering if you wanted to... er..." He stopped midway as though something was troubling him and my eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Just say it. I won't bite" I said jokingly, trying to soothe him. He sighed from his end and, again, I felt that need to please.

"That's not what's making me nervous.." He said quietly.

"Just tell me." I insisted. There was a long silence that passed and I waited in anticipation as a few beats went along. At long last he spoke.

"Do you wanna go grab something to eat?" He asked timidly.