13~Ice Cream Over Sex

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"Come here," Jimin patted the spot on the floor next to him where he was sitting cross-legged between a couch and the small table.

At the moment, I was trying to remember how to swallow the eggs halfway down my throat.

"Why...why do you need my help on... reproduction?" I finally managed to get out.

"Isn't it obvious?" Jimin opened the textbook nonchalantly, flipping through the pages. "Demons are spawned from dead demons. Upon death, our DNA and RNA replication processes goes into overdrive to form new demons. Humans, on the other hand, are very different."

"Do you guys pop out of each other's buttholes or something?" I muttered under my breath.

Once again, lack of memory of powerful demon hearing.

"Pretty much," Jimin nodded.

Instantly my cheeks began to flame up. "Oh good grief," I rubbed the temples of my head, trying to get a certain disturbing image of a baby Jimin sliding out that had entered my head, unbidden.

"I take it human reproduction is very different?"

"You have a textbook right in front of you and glasses for a reason Jimin!" I exclaimed, face a lovely shade of dark cherry red. "Read it!"

"Aw," Jimin leaned forward, propping his chin up with one hand. "Are you the innocent type Y/N? The good little girl who never flashes skin and gets embarrassed at the very word of 'sex'?"

"I've watched Game of Thrones Seasons 1-7, try me Jimin," I mumbled.

"No clue what that is," Jimin muttered in reply.

"Geez this is humiliating. Alright, what do you want to know that can't possibly be found in the 1000 page textbook before you?" I exhaled, reluctantly sitting myself next to him.

"Well," Jimin tapped a finger to his cheek. "First, we need to start with the basics. The textbook generalizes a lot. Like female humans have something called 'eggs'? Like I thought you said you were part squid but it seems like you're more closely related to a chicken," Jimin winked. "Are you a part-chicken?"

I glowered at him. "Bock bock b(13+word)tch."

The barest hint of a genuine grin tugged at the edge of Jimin's mouth, causing my heart to skip a beat for some reason. He quickly cleared his throat though. "Another thing I don't get is why humans have sex all the time."

"That's more of a personal matter, not a health matter," I said, now focusing on the ceiling above.

"Like, I mean I guess I get it after hearing Yoongi hyung and Hoseok hyung at night sometimes..."

"Do NOT finish that sentence," I managed to get out through gritted teeth.

"But, if the humans don't actually want a baby, then why do it in the first place?"

"I am not explaining this," I half was talking to Jimin half to the ceiling above me. "I wanted to major in art, not in health or biology for this very reason."

"I mean, like, do humans do it just for pleasure? Is it that good?"

Considering he knew the term 'orgasm' I was finding it hard to believe he was this oblivious to the entire subject.

"Ice cream is better," I replied stiffly.

"What's ice cream?"

That got my attention.

"You don't know what ICE CREAM is?" I yelped, whipping around.

Jimin jerked back at my sudden reaction. "N-no should I?"

"It's only one of the greatest inventions ever right after the invention of pizza. Alright, for the first time ever I'm going to begin making a bucket list while I'm, in Itzborough," I crossed my arms over my chest. "Number one on that list: make ice cream."

"You can make ice cream?" Jimin tilted his head.

"Yes. Simple as with just sugar, milk, and cream." I could remember the first time I ever made ice cream with my mom and dad for my own birthday party. "So next time you go to the store make sure you buy those items. I promise you, it's worth it."

"Really?" A dark smirk was beginning to dawn on Jimin's face and he started leaning forward until his face was inches from mine.

"Wh-what are you doing?" My sensible mind fractured under the intensity of the blue eyes searing into my own eyes.

"So you're telling me ice cream is better than that of the 'ecstasy' humans experience during intercourse?"

"W-well, duh of course. I-I mean sex isn't that great, I mean, not like I've ever done it before but I honestly think sex is a bit overrated and all and after all ice cream is amazing and better than probably anything you could experience in sex," I began to ramble as Jimin leaned even closer so our noses were all but brushing.

It wasn't until it was too late that I realized during my entire rambling session Jimin had all but pushed me up against the couch behind us.

Even more crazy was how Jimin had somehow slipped a leg between my own without me noticing so he was now half straddling me on the ground.

"Holy crap Jimin what the fu-" I began, words just barely passing for coherence, but Jimin pressed a finger to my mouth, silencing me quickly.

"No holy words remember?" he purred, dragging a tongue over his plump, lower lip.

I watched, with a strange heat building up in my lower stomach, in fascination as Jimin's blue eyes before me steadily grew darker in an emotion I couldn't quite place. My entire body felt like it was tingling and unholy thoughts flashed through the back of my mind.

"I'm starting to get a clearer picture of everything now," Jimin breathed, now daring to rest a hand on my hip.

His touch sent searing fire through me and my breath caught in my throat.

Clearer... picture...?

"Okay." The atmosphere was shattered as abruptly Jimin rolled off me and grabbed a pencil on the desk and a sheet of paper. "While demon spawning takes place for strictly biological purposes, humans use similar concepts for both biological as well as pleasure." He spoke aloud writing casually.

I remained half lying on the ground, still in a slight daze.

What the crackling crackers just happened??

"You okay there Human?" Jimin glanced lazily over his shoulder and smirked at me. "You're looking a bit laid there."

I slowly narrowed my eyes as Jimin chuckled at his God-awful joke and turned back to the paper.

How dare he play me like that?

Jimin was too busy humming softly under his breath to notice me standing up and silently grabbing a pillow off the sofa before it was too late.

"So Human, about the 'sperm' of the male anatomy, are male humans like, related to the sperm whale-GAH!" He broke off in a yelp as a pillow slammed into him from he side, knocking him flat on the ground.

"What's wrong there, demon," I hissed in furious satisfaction. "You're looking a bit laid there."

Jimin met my fiery hot look with his own. The way he lay sprawled on the ground at my feet, hair slightly mussed from the impact of the pillow. The way his sapphire eyes glittered dangerously. The way his plump lips were pursed in a thin line. It made me feel a fire in my body at how hot he was.

Not now, Y/N, I silently scolded myself, remember, you're pissed at him.

"You wanna play Human? Lets play." Jimin hissed.

His blue eyes flashed brighter for the barest of moments and a second later a pillow on the sofa flew seemingly on its own into Jimin's hands like some sort of Jedi Force trick.

If I wasn't still so pissed off I would probably stop and stare. But as it was, I had a certain blueberry demon babysitter to beat the crap out and no magic was going to change that.

I was about to let loose a battle cry that would rival any cry in history as I prepared to charge.

Unfortunately, a loud, intruding knock on the door shattered both Jimin and my concentration and we both froze in our places, exchanging glances.

After a few moments the loud knock came again, louder and more assertive, now followed by a call of: "Bangtan Boys! Anyone home?"

Jimin dropped the pillow in his hand and smacked my own pillow out of my grip. "Hide," he hissed at me, eyes now wide in what looked almost like fear. "That's the Crimson Immortals, superiors of the 8th region. The fact that they're here right now is not a good sign."

"Bangtan, open up in the name of the Superiors of the 8th Region!" the loud voice called, impatience now entering his voice.

"Y/N, go," Jimin half shoved me away from him.

"Where do I hide?" I whisper-yelled in panic.

"Anywhere, just go and don't be seen," Jimin shoved me again, the fear in his voice undeniable now.

I spun in a full circle, heart slamming in my chest in search of some hiding place. My eyes landed on the kitchen pantry door a short sprint distance away.

It'll have to work.

I charged over and popped open the door, squishing myself into the small room between shelves before slamming the door after me, swallowing myself into pitch blackness.

For a few moments there was silence everywhere aside from my heavy breathing.

Then the sound of a door opening could be heard as Jimin answered the front door.

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[A/N:] Idk what the exact point of this entire chapter was but hope you enjoyed anyways

~Kiki

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