A/n

please don't hate me for the content ;)

Enjoy!

Aiden's soft hair tangles between the valleys of my fingers as I massage his head. His body lays on mine, almost crashing me under the heavy weight of his muscles. His familiar, manly scent envelopes me while we cuddle in bed.

My eyes trace intricate patterns across the permanent ink on his back, noticing how his shoulder blades flex every time he breaths in. One of my favourite tattoos of his is the one sitting above the large scull covering most of his back. It's a butterfly. A disparity to the rest of the dark art.

A disparity like the one between him and I. Unlike me, Aiden is able to speak his feelings without fearing the what if's.

Closing my eyes and pillowing my chin on top of his head, I try to stop the guilt from surging inside me again.

He doesn't know that he's captured me. Heart, soul and body, all together within his range.

Unknowingly.

He owns me.

I love him so much.

Yet, he remains oblivious to the small piece of information torturing my mind and soul.

He deserves to know that I love him.

"Do you want babies in the future?" The sudden question is asked lowly. My eyes fly open at his words, a great feeling of delight dominating me. Silence follows as I think over an answer to give him.

Do I want babies in the future? Is he talking about his babies? Because the answer would straight away be a yes, if that's the case.

"Yeah, do you?" I ask back, although I'm well aware if the response. Aiden keeps his face buried under my hair and nods against me. "Five, I want five babies."

"That would be... eventful." I respond after some time. I knew he wanted a lot of babies, but five? I remember being a child and living with six more of them, my parents had a lot to look after.

"I want five babies and a big house, with a huge backyard... where they can play... all day." He continues in a groggy voice, making me smile.

"Why five?" I ask, glancing at him curiously.

He shrugs, seeming nonchalant, "I'm an only child, the only childlike interactions I would have as a kid, would be when I came over to your place to hang out with your brothers, as well as the family reunions in Italy, but that was it. It's boring being at a house with a few people, not that Enzo and my mom let a dull moment pass by, but I'd always desired the liveliness a home with a lot of people had."

Aiden continues, his fingers tapping against my sides, making me find the small action of excitement as he speaks of a future he dreams of, adorable. "I want my kids to have what I didn't." He chuckles lowly, "a whole lot of siblings."

Humming in understanding, my heart expands with even more love for the man on my chest.

An image of all that he just said paints in my mind. Sliding my eyes shut once more, the picture of Aiden holding a baby in his tattooed arms plays behind my closed lids. My insides melt.

"The house should have a library too." I add without thinking. "I will give you that." Aiden promises promptly.

I look into his emerald eyes. The intensity in his gaze tells me how serious he is about his promise.

"You mean...?" I trail off. We've never spoken about a future together, but as the conversation takes a turn that way, my heart feels full.

"I want a future with you, Ry." Aiden states. His eyes search mine. For a truth even I don't know he's aware exists.

My thumb soothes a path down his sharp cheekbone. "I want that as well, A." I nod my confession.

A future with him sounds like a dream.

He pushes himself up on his elbow, towering over me. "No. You don't understand." He shakes his head, dismissively. An expression almost burning with aggravation. "All of this? I want it all with you. None of this matters if it's not with you, baby. I don't want any of this if it's not with you." His expression firm, searing his words with finality.

The vulnerability his tone holds as he speaks though breaks me. He doesn't believe that I want a future with him and I don't blame him.

How could I, when I'm the one responsible for his doubting?

"I'll always be with you, Aiden. I'll always want a future with you. " I tell him honestly, wishing for an implicit to my suggestive words.

"Do you promise?" He questions, his eyes holding desperation.

"I promise." I nod.

"I promise that I'll always be with you too and I promise you a future. Fatto come vogliamo." He slumps back down on my chest, the corners of his lips tilted up in a ghostly smile.
(Made the way we want.)

Another piece of my cracked heart gets captured by him.

So cute.

I could confess my love for him right now. As we lay on his soft bed, with nothing but a tranquil silence and the other's comforting warmth and arms surrounding us.

But I can't. Something in my chest prevents me from doing so. A fierce feeling. A fear; that something bad might happen to him if I tell him how I really feel. That something bad might happen to us. That the three words might be the cherry on top our relationship needs before it cracks.

Almost three weeks ago, I was so close to telling Aiden that I love him. My heart nearly beat out of my chest when he gripped my jaw and told me to spit out. My brother's continuous phone call though, interrupted me and had me swallowing back the words I've been trying to tell him for nearly two and a half months now.

It always goes one of two ways; I decide to tell Aiden that I love him but the words get caught in my throat, or, I get interrupted. Whether the interruption is from the reporter's on the TV, Aiden himself or a phone call, I always end up postponing the truth from him.

I rub his shoulder, placing a gentle kiss to his hair.

It's come to the point where I've been silently begging him to understand what I really feel, to understand the love I hold for him, as I've come to realise that I'm incapable of saying the three words aloud myself.

Every time he tells me he loves me, feels like another stab, straight into my heart. The guilt consumes an even bigger part of me each time he tells me he loves me and I don't say it back.

The opportunity is just never there.

"Let's go out tonight." Aiden announces, not proposing the idea. "It's been long since I've taken you out on a date." He adds, slight guilt lacing his words.

My heart clenches. He has nothing to feel guilty about.

"I would love to go on a date," I whisper, with half a smile. My eyes suddenly lit up, much to his confusion. My heart accelerates it's beats and I wonder if he can feel it under his face, where it lays against me.

Tonight.

"Great. What do you want to do, my love?" He asks, looking up at me, ready to fulfil my every wish.

Tonight Aiden will know how much I love him.

"Maybe dinner?" I ask. He hums in agreement. "I'll pick you up from our bedroom door at seven. And I'm choosing your clothes."

"I'm fine with that." I giggle before silence envelopes us.

It's been long since we've gone out, but it's understandable seeing how much Aiden has been working the past month. All because someone decided to revenge a heir's death. An unsettling feeling flumps on my body.

This morning, I woke up to Aiden carrying me upstairs. After being out all night and working, he demanded I go to sleep without him. I didn't. Something in my chest kept nagging me, so I ended up watching a movie on the plush couch inside the living room.

I didn't feel unsafe or anything. Under Arsenio's protective watch it's kind of hard to feel so, I just needed his secure arms to wrap around me from behind and the steady beat of his heart lull me to sleep.

Just like right now.

I wake up to Aiden whispering hushed sentences into the phone. "Yeah... alright... me too." He mumbles and hangs up. I wince at the loud thud that echos after he throws his phone back on the floor.

Looking down, I find one of his arms draped across my chest as he holds me protectively against his front.

Kissing his forearm, I turn my head back. "My parents are coming over for lunch." He answers my unspoken question when he sees my curious expression.

His words make a smile creep up my lips.

Today, Enzo and Rose are visiting. After being overseas in Italy for a year and a half, they decided to come back to New York for a while.

It's been a few months since I last saw them and it would be a lie to say that I'm not excited. I've missed them a lot.

My attempt at sitting up and crawling out of bed goes to a complete waste when the arm around my chest pulls me back down, the few inches I managed to get off.

"I need to shower." I groan, my body betraying my mind as I lay back in bed. A fresh shower is something I would like to have before greeting Aiden's parents.

"No. Snuggle me." He demands, tightening his grip around me. I shiver at the feel of him fluttering butterfly kisses along the lengths of my neck and the curve of my throat.

"We don't have much time." I argue, although pointlessly, as I sink myself deeper into him.

"Yes, we do," He throws a heavily muscled leg over my waist. "Just let me love you for a little while longer, baby." Aiden whispers softly on me. My stomach churns in a good way.

It's when he's half asleep that I manage to slip out of his protective arms and into the shower.

The hot water washes down my body, the steam gets heftier when hands squeeze my hips and lips brush the tip of my ear.

.......

Aiden strolls up behind me, his big arms circling around my waist, tucking me into the familiar warmth of his chest. "You look gorgeous, my love." He compliments me, pressing a loving kiss to my cheek.

A blush blooms on my cheeks. "Thank you." I set the coffee cup in my hand down on the kitchen counter and hold onto his palms.

My curiosity grows, as does the silence in the room. When I walked downstairs today, I sensed the missing presence of Arsenio. He might've gotten the day off or maybe he's in the lobby. I decide not to question Aiden on his absence though. He always gets so upset in my bodyguards presence.

I don't want to trigger his good mood by mentioning his name.

I just found it unusual to not find Arsenio inside the penthouse. Usually, he would stand like a statue in the doorway leading to the foyer, dressed in his every day black suit.

Aiden squeezes my hips, forcing my mind to him. He plants soft kisses up my neck and shoulder, making me shudder in pure ecstasy.

Our chests collide. My hands round his neck to pull him closer. His hands caress the light material of my dress, slowly pulling it up, steadily exposing me inch by inch.

I throw my head back when he sucks on my sweet spot, his palm sensually stroking the skin of my thigh as it slides under the light yellow fabric.

"Aiden." A silent moan emits from my chest at the feel of him kneading my butt. His wet lips devour my neck but the interrupting ping of the elevator makes me push him away from me.

"You're blushing." He informs me huskily, teasingly pecking the corner of my lips and taking slow steps backwards, a complacent smirk on his face.

My eyes harden into a glare, an unwilling smile breaking through despite my attempts. Throwing a playful eye roll at him, I swivel around.

Rose rushes through the kitchen doorway, a broad grin widening her classy red lips. In her one hand a beautiful bouquet of roses and the other encircled by a bigger one. Enzo.

The man sharing Aiden's sharp but maturer features moseys with leisure steps behind his overly enthusiastic wife. His lips tilted into a small but cherishing smile as he watches her bounce over to us.

"Hello, my loves!" She beams happily, tugging me into her motherly embrace, transferring some of her brightly buoyant spirit to me.

Aiden's mom just has that positive effect on people. No matter what, she brings a smile to one's face.

I heavily sigh in pure amusement as Aiden's voice grumbles from behind me, dripping with sarcastic unhappiness. "I missed you more, mama."

"Hush," Rose hisses in response, causing Aiden to snicker.

We pull away from each other. Her delicate hands land on my shoulders as her eyes search up and down my body, her smile only widening. "You keep getting prettier, sweetheart!" She complements.

I blush a deep red and whisper a word of appreciation. Our attention gets shifted away from a half-begun conversation.

"You know how much of a mama's boy he is, my love." Enzo shakes his head disappointedly. A teasing tone underlying his words directed at Rose. "He's always been like that. I don't know how you keep up with him, Avery." He sympathises.

I giggle at the playful glare Aiden fixates at his father, though I know he's not taking his mockery legitimately.

"I am not." He declares crossing his bulging arms over his chest, the grouchy facade disappearing the second his father embraces him warmly, chuckling, satisfied for getting under his son's skin.

Rose shakes her head muttering about dogs and cats under her breath. What?

The two similar men pat each other's backs a few times, in a way of greeting and separate a while after.

My heart warms. Aiden has such a good relationship with both of his parents. I couldn't be any happier about it.

Enzo, squeezes me into a tight, fatherly bear-hug. "How are you doing, piccolina?" He questions genuinely.

"I'm great," I answer honestly, "you?"

"Wonderful."

"I love the place, honey, it's really beautiful." Rose gazes around the kitchen. I almost forgot that this is the first time both of them have ever been here.

The elegantly clad woman walks around the modern kitchen, all of us surveying her as she opens the huge double fridge to examine it's contents. "Want to help me cook?" She peers from behind the metallic door. Right at me expectedly.

Aiden's hands grab my hips, pulling me into his warm side. "You don't have to, baby."

I shake my head at him, smiling gently. "I would love to."

......

And we get straight to work. Washing our hands under the tepid stream of water, we cast matching aprons over our clothes.

I hold the large, sharp knife securely between my fingers as I carefully chop vegetables on the large, marbled island. My eyes attentively pay attention to the simple task at hand, in order not to chop off flesh instead of carrots.

Rose sizzles something in a pan while boiling something else in a pot of steaming water. The lusciousness of the different aromas wafts through the room making my nostrils flare pleasantly.

I'm thankful she decided to handle the hard stuff, which include dangerous things like the oven and stove. To say I'm incapable of handling the kitchen would be an understatement as the only things I'm able to wrap up is my iced coffee and Aiden's cereal.

"I've never seen him this happy before," she asserts so silky and quietly, surprising me.

I turn around. Rose observes me silently, a beatific flicker in her bright green eyes, a wooden spatula in her one hand, her apron splattered with red sauce.

I don't need to question whom she's talking about. My face turns beet red as she places the spatula down, and approaches me. "Thank you for making my Aiden happy sweetheart," her hands grab mine.

"He's the one making me happy." I respond silently after I manage an answer, my lips twitching as I think of my boyfriend.

"You make each other happy, darling. Thank you for giving him a chance to love." Rose gulps, "thank you for giving him a chance to be loved." The whispered genuine words make my stomach churn, jump, turn and drop down to my butt when my brain proceeds them.

"What?"

To be loved.

A small laugh leaves her, "don't be so shocked dear. I know you love him. As much as he loves you. The look in your eyes when you look at my son says it all." She explains leaving me  speechless.

"Rose, I-" Before I can finish my explanation, warm footsteps approach from a distance.

My stomach, if possible drops further. A paranoia that he might have heard our conversation consumes me, and I find myself wanting to get away from here as soon as possible.

"Do you need help with anything?" The devil questions eagerly, placing a warm hand on my back, his chin on top of my head.

"You two can chop the vegetables together." Rose tells us, and turns around, humming a low tune to herself as she stirs inside the pot. As if our conversation never happened. I find myself appreciating her gesture.

I smile up at Aiden shyly, avoiding his eyes when he returns it. Handing him the sharp utensil carefully, "I'll go set the table, the food is ready soon." Placing my lips on the tip of his nose, I kiss it tenderly before tottering my way to the cupboard containing porcelain and out of the kitchen.

I scrutinise her small body as she hurriedly walks out of the kitchen, a slight stumble in a few of her petite steps. The slight tilt of my lips as I admire my woman vanishes.

Everything good fucking vanishes when she's not around.

As if the the universe knows where the fuck my mind is taking me, it decides to fucking downpour. Heavy raindrops collide against the massive windows, the grey of the sky closing around me like a heavy, suffocating, unbearable to fight against, blanket. The thick clouds like the ones of memories consuming my mind.

Thoughts from almost three weeks ago play like a broken fucking tape in my mind, repeating the same three words, three syllables, that lit my heart on fire and crashed it into tiny pieces at the same fucking time.

Drunk words sober thoughts, but then again, she was stoned as well.

This is the way it's been, ever since I fucked her to convince myself otherwise.

I was so fucking wrong for thinking that she'd say it back that time.

"Cosa sta succedendo nella tua testa, amore mio?" My mother's dulcet voice asks, screeching my haunting thoughts to an abrupt halt.
(What is going on in your head, my love?)

I shake my head, resuming to the hasty movement of my hands as I continue Ry's unfinished chopping. Not a ounce of eagerness inside me to share my doubts with her. "Niente."
(Nothing.)

"You can talk to me, Aiden." She promises, touching my shoulder.

My eyes squeeze shut and I sigh in annoyance. At my silence, I hear her