chapter 7

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"you can leave now if you want. i'm okay.", taehyung wipes his last tears away after crying for a while on jeongguk's lap.

jeongguk doesn't know what to say.

"you sure you okay?"

"yeah. sorry for causing so much trouble.", he says, still sitting on jeongguk's lap like his body is perfectly made for it.

"you didn't. none of this is your fault tae-taehyung." after hearing everyone calling him "tae", the name is stuck inside his head.

but he thinks that it'd be weird to call him that since he's not that close to him.

"you can call me tae, it's okay.", taehyung giggles, proving him wrong.

jeongguk just stares at him, while taehyung is looking down at his own hands.

he admires taehyung's beauty, never seen a prettier boy than him, but he doesn't compliment him.

"i should look what your brother is doing.", he says, still staring at taehyung who just looks down at his hands.

he nods and goes down from jeongguk's lap.

jeongguk stands up to leave the room, but before he can walk through the door, taehyung stops him.

"jeongguk?"

"hm?"

he turns around.

"thank you", he says with a weak smile finally looking up to jeongguk, their eyes meeting.

jeongguk just nods before giving him a weak smile too and leaving the room.

taehyung really doesn't want him to go, but he's too shy to say that.

he wants to enjoy being close to him again. the comfort he has brought.. no one ever could do that before.

jeongguk goes downstairs with a sigh.

"is he okay?", namjoon asks.

"yeah, i guess.", jeongguk replies.

"what happened at the party?"

"jackson. he pressed him against the wall and touched him and shit. sorry that i didn't react early enough. my ex girlfriend she was getting on my nerves.. ugh.", jeongguk says frustratedly.

"what did you do then?"

"i beat the shit out of him. if taehyung wouldn't have stopped me i don't know what would've happened to jackson."

namjoon is surprised that taehyung being harassed affected jeongguk that much. but he doesn't complain. he's glad it did.

"thank you so much gguk. i know i can trust you. and don't worry about not reacting early enough. i'm sure that he's more than thankful."

jeongguk nods with a weak smile at the encouraging words of his friend.

"you know... i don't mind if you spend time with taehyung."

jeongguk furrows his brows.

"why would you say something like that now?"

"i don't know.. felt like i have to."

"okay.", jeongguk just says. "thank you."

~

jeongguk and namjoon are about to go to sleep.

"gguk, can you check up on taehyung first? i'm sure that he doesn't want to see me."

jeongguk nods before going to taehyung's room.

he knocks softly.

"tae?"

"c-come in."

jeongguk steps inside the room and what he sees is taehyung laying in his bed, his little night lamp still not turned off.

"you're still not sleeping."

taehyung nods, before sitting up.

he points at the spot next to him so jeongguk sits down there.

now they're both sitting next to each other, their backs leaned against the wall behind them.

"how are you feeling?", jeongguk asks him.

"i'm okay.", taehyung replies when he's clearly not.

jeongguk doesn't want to stay with him.

actually he wants, but he knows he shouldn't.

"if you're okay... i'll go to sleep now.", he says after a few seconds of silence.

jeongguk waits for a reply, for a confirmation that it's okay when he goes now. but he doesn't get anything.

instead of that, he feels how taehyung suddenly clings to him.

he wraps his arms around his stomach, resting his head on his chest.

"i-i d-don't w-want you t-to go."

he doesn't know where the sudden courage comes from but he wants jeongguk to stay that much, he doesn't care.

maybe it's because he's in such a unstable condition right now.

he can't be alone right now. he just can't stand it. he needs comfort.

jeongguk knows the right thing to do would be remove his arms and go away, but at the same time he couldn't leave him alone.

he couldn't remove his arms.

he couldn't deny that he likes the feeling of holding tae.

jeongguk also wraps his arms around him.

"it's ok, i'm here.", he says, making taehyung hugging him tighter than before as tears are leaving his eyes.

taehyung often has to cry out of nowhere.

he just has to cry so much, sometimes he doesn't even really have a reason. he just has to cry.

but right now he has a reason. he was harassed at the party and he's too emotional and sensitive to handle that on his own.

"i-i c-can s-still f-feel his h-hands.", he cries.

if he wasn't crying, jeongguk would get angry again now. angry at jackson.

but he can't allow himself that. he needs to be calm for taehyung.

"hey, it's ok. you're ok. he's gone and he'll leave you alone from now on. i will make sure of that."

jeongguk doesn't want to let the smaller boy inside his heart. he doesn't want to love someone. he shouldn't.

"n-no, y-you d-did enough, i-i d-don't w-want y-you to g-get hurt.", he says, crying.

"shh.", jeongguk just says. he knows that he won't get hurt. and even if he'd get hurt, he wouldn't care. he doesn't know why it affects him so much to see taehyung cry, but he feels like he would do way too much just to stop him from getting hurt.

"c-can y-you s-sleep h-here w-with m-me? p-please." he looks up to jeongguk with big puppy eyes, tears still leaving. jeongguk removes a strand from his face, so gently.

"i have to ask your brother if that's okay, first."

taehyung nods, slowly letting go of jeongguk.

jeongguk stands up, making his way to namjoon's room.

"joon?"

"yeah?"

"taehyung wants me to stay with him tonight."

"oh.... yeah. um... okay, sure."

"are you sure? i can stay here-"

"go gguk, he needs someone.", namjoon smiles softly, knowing that his little brother will have some nightmares this night.

"okay. thank you.", jeongguk says, before leaving namjoon's room again to enter taehyung's.

"i'm staying here."

taehyung nods, feeling so happy.

he lays down, waiting for jeongguk to join him in his small bed.

jeongguk lays down next to him and taehyung immediately clings to him again. he hugs his stomach and lays his head on his chest.

jeongguk covers both of them with the blanket.

"tae."

"hm?"

"i'm sorry for not helping you early enough. at the party."

taehyung is confused by his words. he wonders what jeongguk could've even done more to help him.

"what do you mean?"

"i was watching you because your brother told me to keep an eye on you. and everything seemed fine until my ex girlfriend came. when she was gone and i turned around to look at you, you were already gone. jackson already got you... i'm so sorry."

"please don't be.", taehyung says sadly, can't believe that jeongguk is apologizing for that.

"you did everything right, i'm more than thankful. you saved me from probably having a trauma for the rest of my life.", he says, thinking of jackson raping him, getting goosebumps.

jeongguk starts to stroke taehyung's hair.

"you had a girlfriend?"

"yeah."

"why did you broke up?"

"she cheated on me."

"are you sad?"

"not anymore."

"are you... um... straight?"

taehyung feels so embarrassed about asking that question.

"okay i'm sorry, that was stupid. of course you are straight-"

"i was bi but i think i'm gay now."

"o-oh.", taehyung says, having hope.

"let's sleep now, okay?"

"okay.", taehyung says and jeongguk turns off the little night lamp.

"good night ggukie."

jeongguk can't help but to think how cute the nickname sounds when taehyung says it.

"good night, tae."


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