"I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together."

༺♥༻

KIM

The funeral is tomorrow and I think I'm so not ready for that day.I told everyone who'll be there the details and now I'm laying on my bed doing nothing just watching the ceiling.

*ding*

"Grown ups wasn't even that good.I'm scunnered."

I smile as I read Alexander's message.I told him yesterday to watch the movie because that's one of my favorite movies and I personally find it fucking hilarious.

"What are you talking about??Now you hurt my feelings... "

I should probably go to sleep to be honest.It's only 8 pm but tomorrow will be a long day.

"Ow,my bad I didn't mean to hurt you .Please forgive me?"

Haha,I'm enjoying this.I'm having a screwed up social life so I might just enjoy my online life.Is that even a thing?Online life..

"Hmm.I don't know,may-

Should I go that far?I'm chinking out,I'm afraid to show him my real side.Also somehow I'm getting horny,but it's a 100% not because of him.I think it was the fact that I watched something on my phone before laying down.. Fuck it I'm gonna go with it.

"Hmm.I don't know,maybe get on your knees and I'll forgive you:) "

I take a big breath before sending it and throw my head back.I probably should not have sent it,he must think I'm a fool.

He is not like my boss,Mr.Collins who I can actually play around with.

"I think it used to be the other way around."

I read the message and my heart starts beating faster.No stop!We're literally talking about me on my knees.I'm not going any further or I might get myself into something I can't crawl out of.

I left the message unread,I know.. dick move.

I brush my teeth and slowly draft to sleep.

...

I walk up to Sadie who is sitting on a bench with her kids.I take a deep breath before approaching them.

"Kimmy" One of her child,Julia said running up to me.Actually they are the only ones who call me Kimmy,which I don't mind I find it really cute.

"Hey Julia." I giggle hugging her back.I look over at Sadie who's giving me a warm smile.I force a smile on my face as I walk up to her and hugging her as well.A tear drops down on my cheek as her other kid comes up to me and hugs my leg.

They look so cute in their little dresses,too bad it's for a funeral.

"I love you Kim.We're gonna be always next to you remember that!" Sadie whispered in my ear and J tightened the hug.

"Thank you Sadie.Thank you for everything,without you I'd be nowhere."

The funeral begins and everyone takes their seats and the sight of everyone being sad and dressed in all black makes me even sadder.

My tears can't stop running and I don't even want them to stop.I miss her and this is the way I show that.My dad said something about having an urgent job and be can't meet with me,I wanted to tell him about mom in person,I wanted him to be here,on her own wife's funeral.At her kid's mother's funeral.

I walk out to give my little speech but as soon as I see her coffin I broke down,I can't do this.

I try to form a sentence which I can barely succeed with and walk back to my seat.I wipe my tear away and walk away from the crowd.

I go to the parking lot which is lucky empty and sit down on a bench.I adjust my dress while taking a tissue out of my purse.I sigh and try to relax when I feel a hand on my shoulders from behind.I immediately stand up turning around and the person I expected the last to be here is now standing in front of me.

"Mr.Collins" I say sniffing and quickly hug him.I don't need words right now,I just need his hug,his presence near me.

He hugs me tighter and we stay in this position for a minute.I don't want to pull away,I want to stay in his hands forever.He is the only person I can really trust.

He saw all my sides,he saw my shy side which was only because his presence was so intimidating.He saw my bitchy side which was only because I was drunk,I don't act like that,and he knows that.And he saw this side of me.I can cry in his hands without thinking of the consequences.

I slowly brake the hug looking up at him.As he looks down at me I feel like that lost girl again,lost in his eyes.

"Thank you for being here." I whisper and he gives me a warm smile and hugs me again.

I feel safe with him.

...

I let him drive me home and I'm no longer crying,this day was enough,long and heartbreaking.

"You want to stay at my house?" He asked not looking at me.

"Yeah." I said turning back and looking out of the window.It's now fully dark outside and there are only a few cars on the road.

After 20 minutes we arrive to his house and walk inside.I'm exhausted,not physically but mentally.

"You can sit down on the couch,do you want something to drink or eat?" He asked politely as I walked to the living room.

"Just water please."

I take off my shoes and sit down turning on the tv.He puts down the glass on the glass table and sits down next to me.He takes off his shoes to and his tie too.

"Are you comfortable?"

Actually not really,this dress is pretty uncomfortable and I want to just wear my pj.

"Do you mind if I take off my dress?" I asked because it was insanely uncomfortable and I just wanted to lay down.

"Here." He said giving me a blanket so I can cover myself.I slowly take off my dress leaving the underwear on.I crawl up on the comfortable couch and lean back on it.

He stands up and takes off his jeans and shirt leaving the underwear on and changes into a white t-shirt.He crawls up to me and pulls me into a hug.

"I'm really sorry for you loss."He says and puts a hand on my head playing with my hair gently.I squeeze myself into him to be closer to him and he kisses my forehead.

"I bet she is really proud of you,seeing her daughter achieving this many things." He says and a tear drops down on my cheek.He is trying to calm me down which is actually working but him saying these words are making my heart ache.I was acting like a dick with him and here he is taking care of me.

"I left her alone in her last minutes.I wasn't even there,instead I went for a fucking walk!" I say and my voice breaks as I start crying.

"She is anything but proud of me.I was a terrible child,I left my sick mom alone." I tell him sitting up and my mascara is now all over my eyes.

"Kim.Don't blame yourself for this."

"But-" I start but he cuts me off like he usually does and pulls me back to his chest.I'm probably ruining his white t-shirt now with my mascara but he doesn't care.

"I don't want you to blame yourself for something like that.You're a sweet and caring person and I know how much you loved her." He said and his words surprise me.

"Do you actually think I'm sweet or you're just trying to calm me down?" I ask because I don't believe it.He cups my face and looks deep in my eyes.

"The sweetest." With that he places a kiss on my lips and I return it.Even though my life is a mess right now I can now say that he will be there for me.

How did I get this lucky?