8. Sayonara

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Part – 8

"At Some Point, You Have To Realize That Some People Can Stay In Your Heart But Not In Your Life"

(Karthik's POV)

I walk into my apartment holding a scotch bottle in my hand, stumbling. Yeah, I have drowned myself in drinks as it makes me forget the pain of losing my love. Who the f**k told drinking kills? Drinking heals... it heals the killing pain... drinking heals my wounded heart... "I love you, baby" I kiss the scotch bottle I am holding. Baby? Oh my baby brat! My love!

Love? Oh yeah! My one side valueless f**king love.

I don't know why I am drawn to Mithra's room instead of mine. To feel her presence? I don't know. I walk into her room and immediately I can smell her scent, I can feel her presence everywhere in the room. I can hear her giggles & merry laughs. I slump to the floor defeated beside her bed & placing the scotch bottle on the floor, I stretch my arm on the bed and rest my head on it. Her bed is so soft & warm like her but it is so empty like my life. So void!

"What the f**k are you doing here? How could you just walk out from your own party?" I hear someone shouting. Oh yeah, the annoying a-hole friend of mine, Sanjeev.

"What the f**k are you doing here? Oh and don't you know to knock the door?" I shout back.

"It was open so I barged in" he answers me. I lift my drowsy eyelids to see my friends' gang walking in one by one. Why are they here? To party my 'parting away' with my wife moment? No, I won't give my scotch. It's all I have, now. I hug my scotch bottle securely to my chest.

"What the hell you did in your party, Karthik?" Deepa growls at me. What I did? What party? I stare impassively at her.

"I just cut the cake... You didn't get the cake pieces? Is that your accusation? Don't worry I will get you a big cake tomorrow. I promise, Deeps" I say & take a sip directly from the bottle but Deepa roughly snatched it from my hand making me spill the little drink I gulped in.

"Girl, that's mine" I protest.

"Karthik, why you did that? You promised me you won't leave Mithra EVER!?" Sanjeev asks.

"Don't you think you are showing too much loyalty for Mithra than me? Well, I am happy seeing your affection for her but do care a little for you poor friend hun?" I pat gently on his face with my fingers.

"Karthik what's wrong?" Ria asks in a soft voice which I like. I don't want any one shouting but me.

"What the hell with this "what's wrong" crap?" I shout. "Everything is fine now... Mithra is happy... Mithra is not tied to me anymore... Mithra can live with her parents like before... Mithra can enjoy her youth carefree college life not worrying of being caught that she is a married girl... Mithra can have a date... Mithra can fall in love with him... Mithra can get a job... Mithra can get married... Mithra can have kids... Yeah... Yeah... Yeah... Mithra's life is perfect now... My baby brat will be happy... I'm happy I finally did the right thing for her. So you all move your asses out of my house & go home & sleep tight. Ta ta... Bye bye... Sayonara" I say climbing on Mithra's bed & lie on my back looking up at the ceiling. Stars, flowers, mickey, dora, I love you...

"Karthik... What is it, dude? Why are you like this? Why are you shutting us away from you?" Rahul asks. I remain silent for a moment.

"Everything was wrong right from the start. But now we made it right" I tell them in a kitten soft voice. Not sure they heard me.

"Mithra and you were happy right? Ria asks.

"Yes, we were." I agree. Of course we were happy or I thought so?

"Then? What's happened?" Ria asks. I remain silent once again staring the pink walls. I don't know for myself what's wrong.

"Wait a minute. When you proposed & before giving your gift to Mithra you said 'Here is the gift you asked me & I promised to give..." does that mean Mithra asked for the divorce?" Deepa is the only smart girl in my friends' gang. I thought with a mental chuckle. She worked it out right.

"Yep!" I smirk.

"But why?" All the four asks in unison.

"Why?" I ask myself... I ask the same 'why' to Mithra too.

(Two days ago)

Mithra & I are watching TV sitting on the couch & eating pizza directly from the box not bothering to transfer it to a plate & eat.

"Mithra..." I call her. She turns & looks at me waiting for me to tell the reason for calling her.

"Um..." I don't know how to start or what to say.

"Tell me, Karthik?" She encourages me & takes the ketchup & squeezes it a little on top of her pizza.

"My mom called me to inform about the party at my parents' place" I tell & closely watch her reaction.

"What party?" She asks as if she had no idea that in two days our wedding anniversary is coming.

"Party for us. For our first wedding anniversary" I remind her.

"Oh" she says in a low voice & looks away from me.

"We can't hurt them, Mithra"

"Okay, Karthik. We will attend. After all it's a special party for us" she agrees & walks to the balcony & I sigh in relief.

A moment later I follow her to the balcony.

"What gift you want for our anniversary, Mithra?" I ask casually.

"Gift?" her face light up.

"Yes. Ask me anything" I smile.

"Anything?" she asks making sure I am ready to give whatever she wants.

"Anything" I promise her.

"I want Divorce, Karthik" she asked looking straight into my eyes letting me know that she wasn't joking.

"What?" I ask back little louder than my usual tone, obviously shocked.

"You said you will give me anything I ask for right?"

"And this is what you want?" I can't hide my hurt. I raked my fingers through my over grown hair. I need a haircut. f**k! I don't want to think about my hair now. I have to handle the matter in hand first.

"Yes" she whispers & looks down at her feet. I turn & lean forward, placing my hands on the railing gripping it hard.

"Why?" I ask her. I need an answer from her. Why can't she give this relationship a fair chance? Why can't she give me a chance to prove that I will be a good husband and friend to her? This nearly a year of marriage life means nothing to her? I mean nothing to her?

"Is it so hard to live with me, Mithra?" I ask when she remained silent without replying me. I am damn sure I didn't behave like a f**king monster to her. I never forced my will on her. I gave her full liberty to enjoy her life. I never treated her any less than a queen.

I don't even know I would ever pamper my own baby like I pampered Mithra. But still she finds it hard to live with me? With her childhood friend who stood by her side for all her life?

"It's not that Karthik" she finally speaks. Thanks f**k for that.

"Do you love someone in your college, Mithra?" I ask her heavy heartedly. If she does loves someone then what hardly I can do about that? However hard it may be for me to see her with other man I should just suck it up & let her go to have a happy life with the man she loves & I should hope & pray he keeps her happy all her life. There is no value for one side love in this world. Love is meeting of two hearts, two souls...

"No, Karthik. I don't love anyone" she says looking into my eyes.

"You are not a celibate, are you?" I couldn't help but ask. Why she wants to abstain from marriage & sexual life? She is not in love with anyone & that's a huge relief for me.

"No!" she shouts.

"Well then... why you can't give a hard try to work out this marriage"

"It won't work, Karthik?"

"And why is that so?"

"I can't do this"

"You can't & you won't...try"

"Karthik, you are my friend"

"So what? When two strangers get married & become friends for life then why can't two friends for life be a married couple?" I don't get her logic.

"I can't see you as my husband...ever" she whispers.

"And why is it so? Why can't you see me as your husband? What defect you find in me? Am I not good looking? Am I not rich enough to lavish money on you?"

"Karthik stop." she says & takes a step backward & before she could run to her room I say "We are not yet done with our discussion"

"I don't want to talk to you. This will lead to fight & I don't want a fight"

"But I do" I want to get my head clear before I make my decision. She doesn't say anything but stands stock still in her place. Good!

"Didn't I give enough time to accept this marriage?" I ask.

"Yes"

"You want more time? I will give you. I will wait for you...all my life. You complete your studies, get a job, & once you are ready we will start our life as Man & wife... what say?" I am giving her the best offer. I am ready to wait all my f**king life for her if that's what she wants but I just don't want to give her a fucking divorce for crying out loud.

"Enough, Karthik, enough... let's end this... I don't want to take any more time." she says & starts crying. It pains me to see her tears; I pull her in my arms & hold her tight ruffling her hair as I rest my cheek on her head. I don't want to let her go, I want to keep her this close but I have this strange feeling that this could be our last closeness.

"I'm not the one for you Karthik. I'm giving only pain for you. I can't keep you waiting for me to accept this marriage because I don't know whether I could. I have seen you & known you ever since I was a small child. I could think of you only as a friend. Getting intimate with you, romancing you it all feels wrong. I'm sorry" that I can't take as a reason. What can I do for that? I came into her life as a friend first & then became her husband. I can't go back in time & change our relationship status.

"Mithra... see, you are young & your romantic side hasn't awoken yet. Once you experience love, you will love the physical intimacy too. You are just frightened of such close proximity a man & wife shares in their bedroom but that's not what I want. Well, at least not till you are willing to give me yourself to me...till you are ready for it..." I calmly try & reason her like I usually do knowing her childishness.

"I wanted to fall in love & then get married." she whispers. Why can't she do in reverse? First she got married and then she can try hard and fall in love with me right?

"Okay... you take your time to fall in love with me & then we can get married again... what say?" I ask giving her yet another alternative but I know she will turn me down again.

"It's not easy to love you, Karthik"

Not easy to love me? I thought I was the easiest guy to fall in love? Over confidence you had there, Karthik! My subconscious mocks me.

"Why are you pushing me away from your life Mithra? Please don't to this to me...to us" I plead her helplessly

"I m not pushing you away from my life & I never will do that. You are my friend & I want to see you happy & that will never happen having me around you"

You are so blind, Mithra. I wanna knock some sense to her.

"You are wrong. You give me all the happiness & more, please believe me, baby"

"How long you will think about me? How long you will think about my happiness? You have needs which I can't satisfy"

"What needs?"

"You do expect me to be your wife... in every sense!"

"Yes, I do but only when you are ready. Oh God! What can I say or do to make you understand that I will wait till you change your mind?" oh this is going in circles now. She is repeating the same thing that she is not the one for me. Where can I go & bang my head?

"You are healthy right?" I ask Mithra cupping her face. Suddenly an ugly thought creep my head that Mithra being sick with some deadly disease & that's why she is trying to distance herself from me to not give me pain. Oh no! That's scary.

"Of course I am hale & hearty" she says puzzled at my sudden concern. I sigh in relief.

"Did you think about your parents" I ask. And what about my parents? I worry. They will get shattered seeing their only son's life in total mess for which they are also responsible in a way.

"I have been talking about this to my dad whenever I meet him that we are not happy with this marriage & I want to live with them again as their daughter."

"Say 'you' are not happy. Don't include me" I scowl at her.

"You too are not happy, Karthik. I know"

"You don't know anything, Mithra." I shout finally losing my cool. "You really don't know how I feel or what I want" I shake my head at her.

"May be you are right. We are not compatible for each other" she has this knack of picking things wrongly from my words.

"So what your parents said?" I ask pressing the bridge of my nose. I know I am about to lose the battle.

"They said marriage is not a child play. It's a sacred bond. I should value it."

"Hmm... but still you want divorce?" I ask.

"Yes" she says softly. I didn't reply. Just look above the sky, thinking how my life will be without Mithra? Like a lonely moon? Surrounded with darkness? But what I will get by forcing Mithra to stay with me? I will only lose my friend along with me wife.

"I am sure I will convince them, Karthik. After all they want us both to be happy, it's for our own good"

"You have grown up hun? To think what's good for us?" I say smirking but I am so mad at her for being so insensitive.

"Look Karthik... You might have accepted this awful marriage..." And that's enough to light my rage. Awful marriage? I can't believe she said that.

"Don't say a word. Please. You will get your gift...very soon" I say & turn to walk to my room.

"Really? You are agreeing for the divorce?" Yes, I am agreeing for it because I know there is no use in keeping you as a caged bird with me. There is no meaning for this relationship when there is no love. Of course I love her and I will love her, always but she is not ready to reciprocate it so it's better we end things like she wished!

"Do I have an option?" I ask. She stares at me blankly.

"Just make sure you don't regret your decision ever & try to be happy, always... without me in your life" I tell her.

"I won't regret this decision and you will be there in my life, always, as my friend" She says with finality. I nod and walk to my room shutting the door behind me. I am killing my happiness & doing this for her because I love her so much. I really do love my brat.

--0--

"Well, that's the end of the story, guys." I just told them how, why & when Mithra asked me for the divorce. I turn to my left hearing sniffing sound to see both the girls in tears. Deepa dabbing her wet eyes with her kerchief & Ria wiping off her tears with the back of her hand.

"Is that a gift to ask? And look our 'Mahaan Purush' sung a sob song, then went on his knees, proposed his lady love & handed her the gift she wished for... you are so great man." Sanjeev claps with a wide smile but it didn't reach his eyes. "Glad you didn't ask what gift she want for her birthday which went 6 months ago or else she would have asked it then itself..." before Sanjeev could finish I say "then everything would have been over 6 months before & I would been got over my pain by now. We were just fighting a losing battle for six months, Sanjeev" I start laughing not wanting to cry in front of my friends.

"You should feel happy & thank your stars, dude?" Sanjeev winks.

"Why?" I ask in confusion.

"She just said it's all wrong as she can't see her friend as her husband. Gladly she didn't name it an 'incestuous relationship' as you pamper her like your baby not like your biwi" Sanjeev laughs.

"It's not at all funny..." I glare at Sanjeev murderously.

"Mithra is such a fool, Karthik. It's her bad luck to miss a gem like you in her life. She will surely regret her mistake & feel for it" Deepa says angrily.

"I don't want that to happen to Mithra ever."

"Oh please, stop with your 'I want my baby to be happy' crap" Deepa hits my shoulder angrily.

"Yeah, Deeps is right. But still it's your mistake, Karthik" Sanjeev accuses me.

"What's his mistake in all this?" Deeps asks him angrily.

"Why the hell he asked her what gift she wants? & promise her to give anything? He could have just thrown her a new car key or necklace or dress or some shit as gift which all stupid girls usually love"

Slap!

"Why did you slap me?" Sanjeev asks Deepa shocked. That bas***d deserves that slap. I smile happily.

"You will throw some shit as gift because we are stupid huh?" Deepa asks Sanjeev in a murderous tone.

"Sorry sweetie. I didn't mean it" Sanjeev woos her. Deepa glares at him.

"You are good negotiator, Karthik. You gave your best shot with your negotiating skill to convince her but still you failed to seal the deal" Rahul comments shaking his head in disappointment.

"Mithra is not a freaking company to negotiate & acquire" I say, pissed.

"How could she be such a blind eye to your love?" Deepa wonders.

"Like how you turned a blind eye & fell in love with that fool instead of me" I try to joke.

"You didn't love me, Idiot. If you had then you would have been my choice" Deepa punches my arm playfully.

"But still you didn't fall for my charm or try to charm me" I wink at her.

"I didn't get why Mithra was so stubborn to fall in love with her friend? Even Sanjeev & I were friends initially & now we are lovers & someday we will be a married couple. See relationship keeps evolving, right?" even I don't get Mithra's logic.

"I can't believe The Karthik who walks with sex on legs couldn't charm his wife & subdued her on bed & over power her." Rahul says. His words made me angry. I'm not a male chauvinistic pig like him!

"I don't want to charm Mithra with my looks or body... I want her to love me & I am not a f**king rapist to force myself on my wife, Rahul. I want my girl to come to me willingly. It's a sin to touch a girl without her consent and I hope you know that" I snarl at him. Then I grab the scotch bottle & take a huge slug to control my anger.

"I'm sorry, Karthik" Rahul apologize. I nod.

"Now what's next?" Sanjeev asks.

"What?" I ask taking another gulp from the bottle.

"Karthik, enough. You had too much to drink" Ria tries to take the bottle from my hold.

"No, Ria. Please, let me drink today" I say sternly.

"What about your future?" Sanjeev repeats his question again with little clarity this time.

"My future? Don't know... Well, I have my business to run. Let me focus on that" I shrug.

"Not that Karthik. You personal life"

"Yeah, that's

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