Spencer Reid

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Nothing left to lose (inspired by The Pretty Reckless song of the same name! Listened to the song the whole time I wrote this. Mentions suicide and thoughts of suicide don't read if this will trigger you.)

I was just 19 you were 29 it's just ten years but it's such a long time.

The age difference between you and your boyfriend wasn't super huge. Just 10 years. You were 25 and he was 35. Some people thought it's was too far off but you didn't care you loved him. And he loved you and that's all that mattered.

Now I see that you and me were never meant Never meant to be now
Now I'm lost somewhere Lost between Elvis and suicide.

When Spencer broke up with you it was like your world had come crashing down. He was your everything. You gave up so much for him. A good job in California so you could stay with him in DC. You left your family after they said they didn't like the age gap between you and him. And he just broke up with you. Of course he explained it was for the best because of him being gone all the time it wasn't fair for you to wait for him all the time. He broke up with you before he left for work so you packed the few spare clothes you left in his apartment you went back to your own. And it was horrid. Everything reminded you of him. It got so bad that one day you just blasted Elvis in your speakers and looked at the blade in your hand.

Well I've got nothing left to lose.

You didn't know what to do. You didn't want to live without Spencer but you knew you couldn't kill yourself. But what else do you do when you have nothing left to lose?

Callin' out sins just to pass the time
My life goes by in the blink of an eye
I know you want me I was only lookin' for a friend

Your entire life with Spencer flashed before your eyes. The laughs you shared, the kisses he gave you, the love you made to him. And at first your relationship was just a friendship. But then things changed and you knew you wanted him and he wanted you. So your friendship became more. And you loved it.

And everything I was And everything that I've become Just falls into the end

You had to decide now what you were going to do? Just give up and kill yourself or fight to get Spencer back. You sat in your bed and cried for days thinking about what to do and you finally decided to try at least once to get him back.

I've got nothing left I've got nothing left to lose

You went to his apartment a week after the break up and knocked thinking you had nothing to lose because you had already lost him once. A second time would confirm it was really over and there was no going back. You heard noises coming from inside the apartment like someone just got up and their legs are still asleep. But it was about noon Spencer should have been up by now. He opened the door and looked shocked to see you. He looked horrid as well. He had bags under his eyes. His hair wasn't brushed. You didn't know what to say but then he said it for you. "I love you and I was wrong. I need you here waiting for me." You smiled and kissed him softly before he took your hand and your life was back to where it should be.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net