Chapter 13: Wanting Was Enough

This chapter is A LOT shorter than usual, cuz I wanted a separate chapter for this specific scene. So, enjoy :)

Finn's POV

After a few minutes passed by. Oliver came back and joined me on the curb. The two of us stared out at the view as the sun slowly sunk into the horizon and then we were submerged into a companionable silence.

"The sunset is so pretty, isn't it?" I muttered as an attempt to start small talk.

"Yeah, it's gorgeous. It reminds me of someone I know." He said and it sounded like there was a smile on his face. 

I felt a slight twinge in my chest at that, for all this time, I completely thought that it was Heather he was referring to, not knowing that deep inside, he could have possibly be referring to two people. 

I fiddled with the bracelet on my wrist, my eyes focused on turning the little cubes that made the bracelet but my mind was just overthinking about every single thing that could go wrong at that moment. 

"Finn, are you sure I can't do anything to make you feel better?"

I came back to reality and my eyes slowly made its way onto his face and I couldn't help but be entranced by him. The sun setting in front of us casted a warm glow and shadows that hit just right on his face and reflected into his beautiful hazel eyes. His flushed but still chiseled cheeks and his blond hair gently playing with the wind. 

I sighed and looked down at my hands before giving him a sad smile.

"What you can do?"

A humorless laugh escaped past my lips as I contemplated if I should let out the next few words but decided to do it anyway. 

"...I think you know what I want... and we both know I can't have it." 

Oliver opened his mouth like he was about to say something but entirely just decided against it, his eyes softened as he gave me a look. A look where I could only mistaken was a look of affection and fondness.

I did something that I would've never thought I'd do on my own. I laid my head on his shoulder to which I felt him shift. I wasn't sure whether he was fine with it so I started lifting my head back up but I was startled when I felt his hand on my waist. He used that to pull me closer against him.

"Finn, I might not be able to give you what you want, what we both want... but I can give you the best that I can. We'll... work through it together." He said before gently laying my head on his shoulder. I felt something tap against my head and then serenity washed over me. 

"I know what we're both thinking right now, so I'll just say it... Oliver, do you think we could ever have a chance, you know, if Heather wasn't in the picture?" I asked quietly.

I felt him suck in a deep breath. 

"Yeah... I mean, I hope so. You're different, Finn. In a good way. But sad to say, we're in this situation, all of us... we're all stuck." 

And I wish we weren't.

I lifted my head to meet his eyes who were already looking at me.

"Hmm. Don't you think it would be better if I just stayed out of the way?" I muttered.

Oliver's brows furrowed. "Finn, you-"

"Look at what happened today. I interfered and that's why everything went into shambles. You can't say that that wasn't a sign?" I explained further and while each word came out, his eyes held more worry.

He was silent, it was silent, as if my words left a big impact even on our surroundings.

After a moment, he shook his head, his hand subconsciously finding mine. "N-No, we'll work through it together, I promise. No one has to stay away." He said but even I could feel he didn't believe that in one bit.

"Oliver. I'm sorry but you can't control everything, but this is one thing that's within our control. We can't keep doing what we're doing right now." 

He pressed his lips together, his brows still furrowed and his eyes started to glisten as if he was gonna cry but instead, he embraced me tightly. I instinctively laid my head on his shoulder. 

Despite the intense pang in my chest, I've never felt so peaceful in my life up until that very moment, and something inside me told me it won't last any longer. But my system said f it, it was what I was feeling in that moment that mattered the most. The feeling of being in the arms of the one guy I liked, knowing that he wanted what I wanted despite not being able to get it. Oddly enough, it brought a smile on my face, because for me?

Wanting was enough.

For me it was enough.