The sun shone bright the next morning despite last night's rain. I had a mug of warm cinnamon tea in my hands, slowly sipping the comforting liquid as I stared out the giant wall-sized window of my apartment. Scanning the rest of my apartment, from the comfortable blanket covered couch by the fire place, to the fancy desk by the corner, I decided the place looked clean enough.

My un-named dog sat lazily by the couch, wagging his tail in air as he barked softly, a sign that he wanted out.

Not knowing what time Devin would arrive, I didn't want to risk being out of the apartment. But I also couldn't leave my dog un-walked.

Sighing, I whistled softly, my dog bounced off the couch and came skipping over to where I stood by my apartment door. I opened the door, earning an excited woof.

I knocked on Rob's door and waited as I heard him knock over his things and calling, "Be right there!"

The dog grew restless by my side, striding around and occasionally letting out an impatient bark.

The door finally opened, revealing a disheveled looking Rob. He was still in his boxers, a shirt on his torso that he was wearing the other way around, and his hair a complete mess of light colored tangles. His jaw was dotted with rough looking stubble, and if he wasn't older than me by so many years, I'd probably say he was attractive.

And of course, if he didn't take a different woman to bed almost every night.

Rob's face broke into a friendly smile upon seeing me, "Good morning, neighbor!"

I almost rolled my eyes.

"Hey, Rob. Would you mind walking my dog for a few minuets? I'm kind of expecting someone..."

Rob bent down to pet my dog, who nuzzled his hand. Rob looked up with a smile, "Sure, I'll just...change."

Nodding, I waited outside his door with the dog moving around my feet.

A few minutes later, Rob re-appeared a lot better dressed and smelling of fresh cologne. I handed him the leash that I had tied around the dog's collar.

"Here," I said, "you can bring him back whenever you feel tired. Just don't lose him."

He laughed as if I'd said the funniest joke he's ever heard, "Don't worry."

I kind of began to worry after he said that, but shook the stupid feeling off.

"See ya' kid!" Rob called as he walked down the corridor as he neared the elevator.

"I'm not a kid," I muttered under my breath.

I turned around and unlocked my apartment door, quietly stepping in. The air felt somewhat stiff, so I walked over to the cupboard where I kept my favorite candles, thinking the wonderful scents might freshen up the place. I lit a couple after setting them down on different locations around the living room, then walked over to one of the many windows and pushed one open, fresh winter air flooding through.

Flopping down on the couch, I stretched my legs out so they settled on the coffee table in front of the T.V. I didn't feel like watching anything, so I stared at the blank screen for a while, thinking, remembering.

There was this one time, back in middle school when Devin started looking at girls. Like, really looking at them. I remember him talking about who was prettier than who, and who he thought liked him, or me. I realized then that I couldn't relate to what he was saying, which scared me. I knew what it meant, because I knew a boy who didn't like girls and what the others would scribble on his desk during lunch before class.

So I kept quiet, even as we went through freshmen year, and Devin met his first 'real' girl-friend. She was nice, I guess, and pretty. With light brown hair that was always tied up in a neat ponytail, blue eyes, a sweet smile. At first I didn't mind much, thought she was like all his other girlfriends. I waited, patiently for a few weeks, for the day Devin would approach me and tell me how he was going to break up with her. Over the phone, to her face, after a nice dinner.

When a few months past, and he started spending less time with me and more with what's-her-name, it dawned to me that this was serious. When I asked Devin about it, he smiled and said, "I don't know, man. She's different."

I didn't understand it at first, why I wanted them to break up, why I hated seeing him with her and that he only got to see me a couple of times in the course of the week when she got to hang out with him a lot more than that.

And then he told me that he was leaving, to another city because his father found a better job there. We came up with a plan, to convince his parents that he could stay with me. But they knew that my parents were always away, business trips and vacations that sometimes lasted several months. He broke up with his girlfriend, knowing a long distance relationship wouldn't work out well.

I felt relieved, like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders, that he was finally going to leave her. But he was also leaving me behind. And that stung. I didn't have any other friends but him, not real ones anyway. I also didn't want to see his ex around.

When the day came where he would leave, I stood in the airport, his luggage by my feet. He looked at me, his light eyes twinkling as he smiled a little. "I'll visit," he said.

I believed him, because not once in our friendship did he ever lie to me. I still felt my eyes sting though, and had to bite the inside of my cheeks to suppress the tears from flowing down my cheeks.

He knew me so well, and could probably tell I was feeling emotional, so he dropped the backpack he was holding and opened his arms.

I remember staring at him in surprise.

"I know when you need a hug, Nate," he said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes but stepped forward and felt his arms embrace me, and I hugged him back, breathing in his manly cologne with a trace of cinnamon. Then I noticed my racing heart, my cheeks burning, and something else I couldn't quite explain. I felt like if I didn't pull back any time soon I might do something I couldn't control, something that could ruin our friendship.

"I will hunt you down if you don't visit," I remember saying, and meaning every word.

Devin pulled back as he laughed, "I believe you. I promise I will visit whenever I can."

And he always did, during winter break, spring break, summer vacation...And when his parents didn't want to spend any more money on plane tickets, I would visit him instead.

I got to see where he lived, his new friends and often more than friends. That was the worst of it all, that he managed to find new friends while I refused to go to school because of the fact that I knew he was the only reason I ever managed to survive that hell hole.

Now he was coming back.

For good, he said.

I felt my lips stretch into a smile, and my heart flip around like a fish pulled out of water. Not in the sense that I was dying, just that it was uncontrollably flopping around.

I checked the time on my phone, then tapped a little here and there until my contact list appeared ( a short one, might I add). I clicked on Devin's name, my thumb hovering over the call button, contemplating whether to call him or not. It was still a little early, around ten in the morning.

The screen transformed just as I was about to tap on the call button, and I saw that Devin himself was calling.

"Hey," I said.

"Nate, hi. I'm on my way, just thought I would let you know," he spoke, his voice clear as it always was.

"You're in a cab?" I asked, curiously.

"Yeah, I'll see you soon."

"Soon like in a few minuets soon?"

He chuckled, "Yes, Nate. I'm just a few blocks away."

"Okay," I said, a little embarrassed.

I hung up, sighing.

Then I stood up to walk over to the kitchen, looking through my shelves for the hot chocolate mix I bought last time Devin came over, which wasn't that long ago.

Hot chocolate had always been his favorite drink during cold days, ever since I met him.

I pulled out a mug and started making the mix, pouring that in a mug before adding whip cream on top. I found a pack of mini marshmallows and added a couple of that on top, then sprinkled some of the cocoa powder I had used earlier for the mix.

I stared at the mug, smiling at the way it had turned out, then hoped it wouldn't turn cold.

I left the mug on the kitchen counter to change my clothes after realizing how casual I looked. I didn't usually care much about how I looked around Devin, around anyone actually.

But I looked through my clothes anyway, and ended up wearing a pair of dark jeans and a white t-shirt instead of my sweats and my favorite hoodie.

I glanced at the mirror quickly, then ran my fingers through my messy brown hair, trying to make it look more laid back.

A buzzing sound turned me away from the mirror, and I rushed to my door where I pressed a button to let Devin in.

A few minutes later, the bell rang and I took a deep breath before opening the door. My breath caught in my throat like it always did whenever I saw him.

He looked the same, yet every time I set my eyes on him he looked different. Maybe it was the shirt he had on, clinging to his broad shoulders and well defined muscled, or the way he styled his hair differently. I didn't know or care, he looked good anyway. Like, really good.

"Hey," I breathed.

He grinned, "Are you going to let me in?"

I looked away as my cheeks turned hot, "Um, of course."

I opened the door wider and let him in, he stepped in and looked around the place as I closed the door behind him.

I peeked a glance at him, his tanned skin stood out against his white shirt, and I wondered how he managed to keep it tan even through winter season, his dark hair swept to the side.

Meeting my glance he grinned, "Man hug?"

I smiled and opened my arms as he hugged me quickly. "How's it going?"

I shrugged and led him to the couch where I left him there to get him his mug of hot chocolate, which thankfully, was still warm to the touch. I handed it to him, and he smiled. "You never forget."

I shook my head, "I don't think anyone can after you literally freaked out when the cafeteria stopped serving it one day."

He grimaced. "That was embarrassing."

"It was funny."

"You should've stopped me!" He groaned.

I laughed. "Are you kidding? You almost strangled one of the cafeteria ladies."

"Yeah, then she threw spaghetti on my face," he pretended to be annoyed.

"Which instigated one of the best food fights our school's ever had," I pointed out.

"True," he smiled, then took a sip of his mug after mixing in the whip cream.

I sat beside him, watching him with a smile. "How're your parents?"

"They're doing great, dad's business is picking up," he said. "Ugh, you make the best hot chocolate."

I beamed, "Trained by the best."

"Seriously, though, this is better than I've ever made."

"Thanks, I guess."

He grinned and continued to drink.

"So, you said you're staying for good?" I ask, not being able to hold it in any longer.

"Yeah," he said, smiling faintly.

"Are you going to tell me what changed?" I asked with a laugh.

"Sorry," he grinned. Then he sat up and set the mug down on the coffee table.

"I met someone, Nate."

I would say my heart stopped, but it just felt like it plummeted down a never ending black hole.

I swallowed, trying not to seem too bothered by what he just said. When truly, I felt my heart break all over again, just like it always did when Devin mentioned someone else.

I remembered the promise I made to myself yesterday, that I would tell him I had feelings for him.

I figured that wasn't going to happen any time soon...

"Oh...Enough to make you move here?" I asked, adding a little surprised tone to my voice, to hide what I really felt.

He nodded, his face lit up like a kid's during christmas, and I felt a slight pinch of jealousy. "There's something else, though," he said.

"What?"

"I...I-"He shook his head. "Damn it, I can't say it."

I frowned. "Why not? We're best friends aren't we?"

He nodded slowly, and I watched as he began breathing, slowly inhaling then exhaling. "Okay. I'm gay."

I froze, my mouth suddenly went dry and I felt like I was going to puke.

"Oh," I managed to say weakly.

He stared at me, but I couldn't think. All I could really do was feel a mix of excitement and hurt. The hurt was pretty dominant out of the two. It felt like someone had me confined in an extremely tight place, where I couldn't breath and everything thing felt a lot warmer than it should have.

"Oh? That's all I get? I just came out to you, Nate. You're supposed to say something else," he exclaimed, almost sounding angry.

"I'm sorry, it's just a lot to take in," I said, numbly.

"Alright. I guess I shouldn't have expected much," he said, sighing.

I didn't know what he meant by that exactly, but my senses finally came to me. Although I felt extremely hurt, because my best-friend slash two year crush is seemingly in love someone else, I still managed to reach out and hug him.

"Thanks for telling me," I whispered.

I could smell the shampoo in his hair, some new product he's never worn before, and his aftershave that smelt so manly that I found myself tightening my arms around his body just to get closer to him. My eyes stung as his arms also tightened against me, because I didn't know when the last time we'd be able to hug this way, and it pained me.

"I know, it was weird at first. But I really like this guy, and I'm happy, Nate." He smiled a little, but I could still see fear written all over his face. Fear of rejection.

Because he didn't know if I would accept him. Which was ironic considering I was just like him.

"It's okay," I said.

But it wasn't. I liked Devin first, I wanted to be with him, more than anything. I've been waiting for so long. And now...

"Really? You don't...hate me?" He asked.

"Of course I don't," I laughed, when all I wanted to do was die.

"Oh, thank god," he sighed with relief.

"I'm hurt you thought I was homophobic."

I'm hurt because you never really saw me.

He chuckled nervously, "Sorry, it's just that we never talked about this subject before."

I brushed him off, trying my best to act normal. "So, when do I get to meet this guy who made you realize you're gay?"

"Anytime you want, actually. It's why I moved back here. He's studying at a university here, and has an apartment a few blocks away. Mom and dad hated the idea at first, but it worked out eventually," he explained.

"Oh," was all I could say.

"I'm going back to school here," he stated.

"Yeah?" I asked, distracted.

"Are you okay?" He frowned.

"I'm also gay," I blurted. Then instantly regretted it.

"What?" He asked.

I couldn't find anything to say.

"Why haven't you told me? Since when have you known? Tell me everything!" His light eyes windened as he leaned forward.

"I never told you because I never felt the need to and I've known since I was fifteen," it took everything in me not to tell him how I felt about him.

"Fifteen?! What the hell, Nate!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah..."

"How did you know?"

"I used to like someone."

Still do...

"What happened?" he frowned.

I shrugged, "He's straight so I never told him anything."

"He went to school with us?"

I nodded.

"Do I know him? Was he one of our friends?"

I lied, shaking my head no.

"Oh, sorry it didn't work out."

"That's okay."

It scared me that I could lie so easily to the only person I could ever truly be myself around.

"This is crazy," he said.

"How?"

He shook his head in bewilderment, "I never imagined coming out to you and then you telling me that you're also gay. I mean, I'm not that surprised, you've never had a girlfriend."

"But you have. How did that happen?"

He shrugged, "I guess I always knew something was missing. Then I met Ian."

Ian.

I hated the way he said his name, softly like he was afraid to break something fragile.

I suddenly noticed his missing luggage, "Where's all your stuff?"

"I left it at his place, I'm staying there now."

"Right."

"I was thinking, since you're okay with this, would you like to go out to dinner with us? You know, so you guys can meet."

I was ready to say no, but then I saw the happiness in his eyes and the hopeful smile on his face.

"Can I bring someone with me? You know, I don't want to third wheel or anything..." I said, not thinking it through.

"Sure," Devin grinned. "Oh, I almost forgot. Ian asked for a tour around the city, so we might have to reschedule that outing."

I felt my nails dig into my palms, hate running through my system.

"That's okay," I said.

"Great, I'm glad. Now, we have to figure out a name for that dog of yours...," he said.

For the next half hour, we bounced off names for the dog while we caught up with other recent events. I was distracted the entire time, my thoughts on the mystery guy who managed to steal my best friend from right under my nose.

"Do you think you'll start going back to school now that I'm back?" He asked.

"I'm fine with Jake tutoring me," I said, referring to the tutor my parents found, who was also my gaming buddy by night.

"Think about it," he said."Anyway, I need to get going, Ian is waiting for that tour."

I smiled back, painfully, and said, "Have fun."

"Thanks, Nate."

"You're welcome."

I walked him to the door, and said, "So tomorrow night, dinner?"

"Yeah, how about seven? At that Chinese place, the one you like."

The one we like.

"Sounds great...I'm happy for you, Devin," I said.

"Me too, Nate. I'm sure you'll meet someone great, then we can look back at this day and laugh at how oblivious we were." He grinned, before leaving hurriedly.

I shut the door with a sigh, leaning against it, defeated.

What just happened?