||Eight||

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He kissed me.

While he thought I was sleeping.

The only thing I could think to do was freeze. I kept my eyes closed, my body deadly still and pretended that I was yet asleep, but all I wanted to do was open my eyes and scream.

I thought he was effing straight.

Anger and confusion kicked into my system, I wanted to punch something so badly I could barely contain it.

I continued to lay limp, though, trying to control my breathing and make it seem normal.

Jake sighed, tugging me away from my thoughts, then I heard a wrinkling sound as he moved from the couch. I felt his body against me, a warm and solid grip around my sides as he carried me, the smell of his cologne assaulting my nose.

I almost lost it, right there and then, but I didn't. I didn't want to face a confrontation, especially not of this kind. And especially not in that precise moment. I managed to groan, acting like I really was asleep and I figured I succeeded when he didn't say or do anything in response.

His feet hit the hard wood as it creaked beneath him, but otherwise he was silent and light on his feet.

Finally, I felt Jake lower me down against my bed, its soft material against my skin made me sigh in relief. But also panic after a second thought.

What if he tries to do something else?

Guilt washed over me like a giant wave. He wouldn't do that to me, he was my friend. I felt disappointed in myself for just thinking that he could hurt me.

But before I could go on feeling feeling any more guilt, Jake brushed his fingers through my hair, his hand warm and soothing, and I moved my head closer against him unconsciously.

I felt something warm press against my forehead, his lips probably, which made me want to open my eyes so badly. But I didn't.

Instead, I hear him sigh yet again, removing his fingers from my hair.

"What am I doing?" He whispered.

Then he left, closing the bedroom door behind him.

I instantly opened my eyes, staring at the spot where he crouched down beside me only seconds ago.

"What am I doing?"

I have no idea.

~

The next morning, I woke up feeling nothing but confusion.

Yes, I was angry the night before, but in the morning all I wanted to do was ask why. My thoughts didn't wander towards anger so much, just...why.

After I got ready and dressed, I walked into the living area only to find it void of anything Jake-related. His clothes from last night weren't hanging on the edge of the couch, his car keys were gone from the coffee table, and so was his phone.

I didn't know what to think, but I did feel my heart thud against my chest painfully.

So I walked into the kitchen to make myself something to eat, to distract myself. Only more a minute.

And almost yelped when I saw someone standing over the stove.

"Jake?" I asked, a hand over my heart.

He was standing with his back turned to me, facing the modern stove my parents had installed in the kitchen. Around him lay several plates, packages, and a styrofoam egg holder along with other kitchen utensils.

He turned around, giving me a small smile."Morning."

He looked tired. I mean, really tired. Yet he still managed to look good with that layer of stubble across his jaw and wrinkled clothes hanging casually on his body.

Whatever.

"You scared me," I said, dropping my hand from where it was clutching my shirt.

Jake frowned, "How?"

I shook my head, "I didn't know you were here."

"Oh. I thought I'd make breakfast before I leave, to make up for...last night," he said, his cheeks reddening when he said the last part.

For a second I thought he meant the kiss and my heart pounded in my chest.

But that wasn't what he meant, I realized. He was just referring to the fact that he stayed over.

I managed to loosen up a little, and nodded my head. "Thanks, what are you making?"

"Eggs and bacon. Although, I think there's something wrong with your stove," he mumbled, his hands turning the nobs as he tried to light the fire.

I walked over to him, and leaned in to see what he was up to. He instantly jerked back.

I looked up at him with a frown, but he wouldn't meet my eyes.

Brushing it off, I focused my attention on the stove and the pan he was supposed to be heating.

"You didn't turn it on," I said, pointing at a tiny button by the corner.

"Oh," he scratched behind his neck and turned on the button. He then instantly began cooking the eggs.

I watched him closely as he cracked each egg and diced each bacon strip into tiny squares, the apartment silent all the while.

"So...did you sleep okay?" He asked.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

"Right. I slept well."

"I did, too."

He finished cooking, placing the food on two separate plates and setting them on the kitchen table.

I took a bite and felt the food practically melt in my mouth.

"How is it?" He asked.

"It's great. You're really good at cooking." I said, meaning it.

He shrugged, but I could see a smile tug at his lips.

"I'll go make some tea," I said, getting up from my seat.

"Can I have a cup, too?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Sure."

I made the tea as Jake sat silently behind me.

"Any plans for today?" I asked.

"Not many, w-?"

"Do you want to hang out?" I interrupted.

I couldn't see him because I was facing the kettle, so I could only guess he was surprised by my suggestion.

"Okay. You don't have any work to do?" I heard him ask.

I shook my head, "Nah."

I brought the tea to the table, setting up the cups and pouring the liquid in.

I sat in front of him with my hands wrapped around the hot mug as I took small sips and watched as Jake did the same.

I wanted answers, and I would get them one way or another.

But I had to do it smartly, I didn't want to just drop the bomb on him.

A few minutes later, I had the dog dropped off next door. Rob only nodded, accepting the leash, as I spotted a woman getting dressed behind him.

Jake seemed amused as I introduced the two of them. When we walked away towards the elevator he asked, "It took two years for you to introduce me to your neighbor?"

I shrugged, "Never felt the need to."

"Seriously though, get the dog a damn name," he said, changing the subject.

I sighed,"I know, I know. Any suggestions?"

"Hmm, I once had a dog named Lisa."

"My dog is a male," I said flatly.

"Oh. Right. Do you know anyone who isn't a guy?"

"Besides the woman who gave birth to me?" I paused. "No."

He shook his head, "Add that to the pile of things you need to change."

"Who says I want to change that? Women are needy and...whinny," I frowned. "I mean, you would know, right?"

I saw his smile falter.

Holy crabs.

"Yeah, uh, I guess." He swallowed hard.

"C'mon, there's a fair going on at the park."

"There is?"

I nodded, almost dragging him out of my apartment building and pushing him inside my car.

I had managed to do a little bit of research while I was up half the night. The park near the apartment normally held fairs and such, so I found it easily on the internet.

I slid into the driver's seat of my car and waited for Jake to hop in before I started to drive.

"You know, we could've just walked," he said, when we arrived a few minutes later.

"It's too cold," I said, tightening my jacket around me.

"Right," he said, almost hesitantly.

The weather would've been just perfect today, the only thing stopping it from achieving such a title was the occasional woosh of cold wind whispering against my bare cheeks.

Otherwise, the sun was out, casting its warm glow against the blades of grass underneath our feat and the cobblestones that decorated the park in different paths. People had set up booths of many different kinds around the park in a weird circular shape, full of different colors of the rainbow.

The place looked alive like it never had before.

"Where to first?" I asked, looking up at Jake.

He looked down at me and pulled his lips into what appeared to be a half smirk. "You pick."

To anyone else, that would just sound like a nice and harmful gesture from an awfully good friend. To me, it seemed almost like flirting. Which meant I was getting paranoid.

No, no, no, no.

I couldn't let myself think that way. Jake was probably just curious and...that wasn't excuse. He still shouldn't have done what he did.

I shook all thoughts away.

Not now.

I needed to focus on acting normal.

I pointed at a random booth by a large oak tree, "There."

He nodded and smiled.

Really smiled at me.

It was weird and I didn't know how to think or feel.

Then my phone rang and I quickly looked down at the caller ID and saw Devin's name flash on my screen as the device vibrated in my hand.

I stared at it for so long that even Jake stopped to look back at me and asked, "Is everything okay?"

I nodded quickly, looked away, and pressed on the 'end call' button. My heart clenched, but there was nothing I could do about it.

"Let's go," I said, and the two of us walked towards the booth I'd pointed at seconds ago.

As we got closer to the booth, I managed to finally read the sign that indicated what it was exactly. It was one of those booths where the person had set up a bunch of cans up in a weird shaped pyramid, and we had to throw those small bean bags at them.

It could've been worse, I told myself.

We got there and paid the guy behind the booth so we could get our little bean bags.

"You're going down," Jake said.

Peeking a look at him, I saw that he was sporting a smug smile on his lips, and I said, "No way."

I picked up a random blue mini bean bag and threw the first one, which veered off to the side and landed on the grass. No where near the cans on the wooden table.

I didn't even have to turn to see that Jake was shaking with laughter.

He didn't know I was just warming up.

I watched as Jake's own bean bag flew out of his hand and landed through the nearest can, but it wasn't enough to drag down any of the other cans.

I picked up my second bean bag. This one wasn't even close to the table, almost smacking the guy responsible for the booth in the face.

I winced, slightly embarrassed.

Jake smiled at me (again, for the second time) and moved closer to me so that his shoulder brushed against mine as his hand picked up a bean bag.

"You just have to aim." I felt his breath tickle my neck and shivered a little as he demonstrated."And flick your wrist. Not too hard, and not too gently."

His bean bag hit the pile of cans right in the center and half the thing toppled over.

The guy behind the table smiled and Jake paid him again so I could have another try. The guy rebuilt the pyramid, hurriedly.

I picked up a bean bag without saying anything. I aimed at the middle of the pyramid, and just when I was about to flick my wrist, Jake's hand touched my own to move it slightly upwards.

I felt a tickling sensation spread throughout my arm at his touch, and I couldn't help but look up at Jake.

I instantly regretted doing that because he only stared back at me with an emotion so strong, I wanted to take a step back. Almost like how I thought I probably looked when I stared at Devin.

Devin.

I quickly broke eye contact, causing Jake to withdraw his hand as if he touched something scaldingly hot.

Damn it.

I flicked my wrist, the bean bag flying through the air and landing exactly at the center of the stack. This time all the cans fell over.

The man, who was distracted by another customer, quickly turned to me and congratulated me, giving me a stuffed toy that looked like a bulldog on steroids.

I managed to fake a smile, holding the stuffed animal under my arm before walking away to another booth.

"Nate..."Jake began.

"Let's go over there," I said hurriedly, pointing at a dark looking booth.

"But...okay,"he sounded so defeated, I almost cringed.

The booth's entrance was covered by a long drape, for a second I actually thought it was a fortune teller booth, but I read the sign that said otherwise.

'Meditating Room.'

I stared at the sign before giving the girl who stood by the entrance the money needed to get in, vaguely aware of Jake who was following suit.

I didn't know why someone would have a meditating booth at a fair but it did serve as a break from all the loud sounds that were going on outside.

The tent-like booth had an almost seventies vibe to it. The grass was covered in many different colored rugs, puled over each other so that there wasn't even a patch of grass in sight. Lava lamps and scented candles were scattered randomly around the area, so that it wasn't pitch dark, and someone left their music player by a corner which played soothing and relaxing music.

I sat down on a fluffy pillow, crossing my legs underneath me, and gently closed my eyes.

"Nate?"

I opened my eyes, meeting Jake's confused gaze.

"We need to talk," I said.

He frowned at me, his hazel eyes twinkling in the semi-darkness. "What is it?"

I took in a deep breath and considered what I was about to do.

Confessing that I knew he kissed me would probably end our friendship, since I had no intentions on making it more than that. There was also the fact that Jake could be confused, or experimenting, and telling him that I knew would just leave him feeling uncomfortable. On the other hand, if I kept it a secret, I would create burden on my shoulders, which I would have to carry alone. It was already pulling me away from Devin because all I could think about was figuring this out.

But then again, Jake was one of my only friends. The only person I knew other than Devin who actually knew me. True, I've known Devin for much longer, but for two years, Jake knew me really well.

I wasn't about to throw that away over something so stupid.

I looked up at his worried expression and mentally cursed myself.

"Never mind," I muttered.

His frown only deepened but I ignored it and went back to 'meditating'. Really, I was just thinking of how stalling would just end up hurting me.

Better me than Jake, though.

For the remainder of the day, I acted like everything was normal, just like I would have if Jake hadn't kissed me.

We walked around the park, carrying our winnings along with us as we found stalls of different foods and tried out almost all of them.

After a while, as the sun grew stronger in the afternoon, we decided to call it a day.

I walked over towards my car, switching it on an hopping in as Jake followed after me.

Halfway towards the silent ride to Jake's dorm, he decided to switch on the radio. The car instantly boomed with loud thumping music, vibrating my hands on the steering wheel.

I took a quick glance at Jake and saw him bobbing his head and tapping his legs along with the beat, something I oddly found hysterical.

He must've seen the amused look on my face because he smiled and shouted, "What?"

His grin was wide, his eyes the most alive that I've seen in a long time, he looked happy. Relaxed, even.

I just shook my head as I continued driving.

I drew up closer to the college, where Jake slowly turned down the music as I parked my car.

"Thanks for today," he said.

I shrugged, "Sure."

He stared at me, and I instantly thought he would try to kiss me again, but he didn't.

Instead he asked, "Is everything okay?"

I wanted to tell him that no, it wasn't. Because he kissed me while I was sleeping, because my long time crush had a boyfriend, because the last time I saw any of my family members was over a year and I felt so alone.

But I shook my head and faked a smile when all I wanted to do was break down and ask why. Why me?

"Okay," he said hesitantly.

After I made sure he was safely inside the building, I drove quickly towards the café, because even when I'm feeling under the weather, a cup of tea and loud music always seems to help.

I found my favorite seat by the window and flopped down.

"Rough day?"

I look up and smile weakly at Tom, who already had a cup of tea on a tray ready for me.

"More like rough life," I muttered.

He sat in front of me, "You may confess."

I shook my head as I resisted rolling my eyes, and took a sip of the tea.

Instantly, I relaxed.

Staring out the window I said, "Well, first of all Ian knows, which you're already aware of. But then I promised him that I'd eventually tell Dev the truth, and that I'll give up on the thought of ever being with him. So I called Jake last night and asked him to come over, 'cause I couldn't contain the pressure."

After a few seconds he asked, "And...?"

"We hung out, played video games, ate, watched stuff on the TV. Normal stuff, you know? So naturally, I started dozing off after a while, and I close my eyes to give them a rest and..."

I looked away.

"What? What happened?" Tom leaned in.

"He kissed me."

"What?!" He almost shouted but must've remembered that he was at work because he clapped a hand over his mouth.

I shrugged, not knowing what to say.

"Holy crabs," he whispered. "Why did he do it? I thought he was straight."

"Me too...Now I just feel so confused about everything. I spent the entirety of today with him waiting for him to confess but he didn't, and when I tried to tell him that I knew, I just couldn't. What would you do if it happened to you?" I asked almost desperately.

He shrugged, worry painted all over his face, "I have no idea."

I abandoned the tea, falling back against the seat as I stared out the window.I couldn't remember the last time I was caught up in a weird situation like this one, if I ever did at all.

I wanted to tell Devin so badly that I felt my hand move towards my phone, but I quickly withdrew. I knew telling him was a bad idea, It was impossible to do that without telling everything else. But I was so used to calling him whenever something went wrong that it felt strange not to do it then.

I stood up, leaving Tom the money for the tea, and walked out of the café.

It seemed like the only thing I knew how to do.


This chapter holds no important purpose but one.

To tease.

Seriously, that's it. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, lol.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net