Chapter Nineteen - Missing Ellie

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"You're just a dick. Plain and simple." I exclaim vehemently, forcing Miss Hardy to sigh, massaging the spots either side of her knitted brows. This has been a back and forth between Hendrix and I - insult from me, only for him to retort with one as equally degrading.

A healthy normality of our hate-ship, except that is not what we are anymore. There has been a shift, in my feelings towards my nemesis especially, and now, this exercise seems to be more of a coping mechanism. A reminder, even, as to why I should hate Hendrix as I used to.

"Charlotte, there is no profanity use in these sessions." She reminds with a tone that's hardly authoritative. She's tired.

"No, no," Hendrix interjects, turning his body to face me. "Let her go on miss. What makes me a dick Osborne?"

"Well, let's start with your incessant need to demean me and leave me feeling indignant. Your attitude, your conceited narcissism. Your lack of responsibility, your nymphomania perhaps, and the fact you left me, yet again, with Ellie on my day off so that you could get your dick wet. The fact that you're rude, obnoxious, cruel, vindictive. And some other choice words that I'll leave out because," I turn the Miss Hardy with my lips pressed thin, "there is no profanity use in these sessions."

"Oh, cool. So are we just not mentioning the fact that I've given up my weekends so that you can turn up to my house in tears - uninvited - and sleep on my bed while I look after Ellie? Or not mentioning the fact I've - on multiple occasions - helped you out when your ex wouldn't leave you alone? Or not bringing up that you're no saint yourself, considering you've punched me in the face and yet still, I forgave you without a proper apology?

"Maybe it just slipped your mind that while I might be all those things, you're not far off a piece of shit yourself Osborne. You're violent, short-tempered, ungrateful, and frankly, you seem to forget that it takes two to tango princess and you're not the innocent in all of this."

His words, like whip lashes, sting as their tear through my flesh and bury themselves deep in my centre, stirring something within me that presses tears at the very back of my eyes. He watches my reaction and perhaps the worst part about it all, he's so emotionless, impassive. Calm and collected, as if the exchange hasn't grazed him in the slightest. Whereas me, it's burned.

I stand without another word and leave the room, leave school, and hurry home, my head hanging as I fight back the tears. I'm not crying over his insults. I refuse to - I know that is what he thinks of me. Only I could be so stupid as to think he might perceive me differently now. Besides, I earned what I was striving for - a reminder as to why I hate him, and he me.

I'm home before I even realise and as I take a hand to the door to enter, something in my peripheral steals my attention. A parked car - one I don't recognise - outside the house beside mine, the shadow of a person turned so I can tell clearly they are looking at me. They recognise my awareness and then they drive off, too fast for me to steal a clear look at their face.

Is that something I should be concerned about?

~

Halloween is quick approaching, with this week sailing by.

Though I deem it too little too late, I seem to be falling into rhythm with Ellie and she is keeping me up much less and reacting to my efforts to soothe her much better. That said, I'm looking forward to a Thursday evening off, so when Hendrix doesn't turn up to school and therefore means I'm going to have to seek him out for the handover, I fume.

"He's a massive prick. Unreliable, slack, arrogant, conceited... ugh! He has my number, how about a simple text. What if I had plans?" I ask no one in particular. The faces of my table look at me. Collins and Seb both harbour an expression that only suggests I'm incredulous, whereas Lena looks almost smug. She hasn't dropped the crush thing yet, despite my unceasing arguments against such horse shit.

"Do you have plans?" Collins asks me plainly.

"Well, no. But that's not the point! How was he to know that?" I counter. Collins offers Seb a wide eyed brow raise, as if passing the torch of this conversation.

"Well, Chapstick, maybe he has reasons." He suggests, patting his hand on mine. I scrunch up my face in distaste and violently take a bite from my sandwich.

"Yeah. His reasoning is that he's a massive dickwad. Honestly, I'd donate a kidney for this to be all over with." I snap, gesturing to Ellie as though the group aren't already well aware of my current situation. Alena scoffs and I look at her with a hardened gaze. "Something wrong?" I ask her venomously.

"Oh, no, just. Too much air in my lungs." She tells me, but I see the rising of a blush on her neck that displays her embarrassment for being caught. "Think of it this way, Halloween is next weekend. That means you have just over two weeks left with the robo-baby, then another month and it's all over, just in time for Christmas." She tries to console.

"See what I hear there is regimented torture for the next six weeks only to endure the festivities with a real life crying newborn and no doubt a family catastrophe." I seethe.

"Family catastrophe?" Collins echoes.

I wave him off lamely. "Happens every year."

"Oh yeah?" Seb interjects with serious concern. "Why, what do you mean?"

"Well, last year, for example. We were all playing monopoly and it got really ugly. We all said stuff we didn't mean and then Ben told Oli he was adopted and just put it this way, it really puts you off your stuffing when you're mooned by your brother." I grumble, bringing the table to a snigger. "It's not funny!" I exclaim in anguish. "I don't know that I'll be able to even eat dinner with Oli this year because of it!"

"Back to the point at hand," Alena sighs with a smile on her face, taking lead of the conversation. "Have you actually messaged him? Maybe he just forgot." She suggests.

"Alena, I've messaged him twice. He's ignoring me. I'm sure of it." I snap.

"I don't think his tardiness validates you getting this worked up Chaps." Collins eventually says. "Is something else going on?" From the corner of my eye I see Alena smirk – no doubt over my alleged feelings for Hendrix – and I scowl.

"No, I'm just sick of being left out of the loop. Besides, it's Halloween next weekend so he's already doing two fewer days than me that week." I all but growl. Honestly, Halloween can not come soon enough. With school out this week for half term, that means our long awaited party is a mere nine days ahead of us.

God, and a party it will be. Believe me when I say motherhood has driven me to the bottle.

"Well you simply go over there this afternoon and demand an explanation. Stop making a mountain out of a molehill Chaps." Lena muses, earning another hardened frown.

~

It's actually Seb that drops me off at Elijah's house, and he's quick to offer too, sick of my incessant bitching I imagine.

I stomp my way to the door, my face twisted into a look of pure loathing I imagine, but it quickly softens when Tanya comes to the door with what I can only describe as a face scarred with sorrow.

"Hi love, are you alright?" She asks me softly. I frown slightly, but more out of confusion of her sombre greeting.

"Yeah, sorry to... disturb. It's just, I'm looking for Elijah. He's meant to have Ellie today." Her face flashes with something else, something undecipherable, as she casts her eyes down to the car seat I'm holding. "I did text; he's not answered me. I've come to check he's alright." I lie, because I doubt admitting I've come to tear her nephew a new one will do well for my favour.

"No," she says sadly. "It's just, today... well, it's not a good day. Come in Charlotte, I'll just need to go speak with him first. He might not want visitors." I nod slowly, concern quickly filling the void where my anger has dissipated. What is going on?

I walk inside, closing the door behind me and don't bother to take my shoes off. It seems like Hendrix is calling the shots today; whether I'm staying or not.

"Two minutes, love." Tanya smiles before heading upstairs. I hang around awkwardly in the foyer, holding the car seat in both hands. I'm not alone for long though, when a small boy, who I can imagine is Hendrix cousin, makes himself noticed.

"Who are you?" He asks me confidently, too confidently for a four year old if you ask me. He's definitely blood related to Elijah, that much is blatant.

"Hello." I say with a small smile. "I'm Charlotte. I'm a friend of your cousins." I tell him, trying not to stumble on the foreign word. After Monday, I doubt friend would be the word Hendrix would use to introduce me.

He takes a couple of steps closer with an inquisitive gaze. "A wrestle friend?" He asks me coyly. I can't help but grin, remembering the brief conversation I had with Elijah where he admitted to naming his string of female aqquaintences as his wrestling friends.

"No. I'm certainly not. Just a friend." I tell him.

"I like to wrestle." He quickly tells me. I smile at him, his bright face which gleams with innocence. His dark hair that falls in a messy fringe. I imagine this is what Elijah looked like in his young years. Cute.

"Oh?" I reply simply.

He nods avidly. "Yeah. Watch this." He says before he begins to spin and punch poorly, making odd whooshing noises with his mouth, his eyebrows pulled together in concentration.

"Wow. That's really good." I entertain, smiling at him as he looks at me hopefully for support.

"What's that?" He asks me, walking around to peer in the car seat.

"It's a baby doll." I tell him, spinning her slightly for him to see. "She's called Ellie."

He looks up at me with confused eyes. "Like Eli's mummy?" He inquires innocently. I nod because that's simply all I can do. "Huh." He mumbles.

Tanya reappears then, nodding her head in confirmation. "He doesn't mind if you go up. Just be gentle." I smile at her and proceed to remove my shoes. "Come on Mason, let's leave Charlotte alone." She muses to her son, placing a hand on his shoulder to steer him away. He nods and then quickly runs off, arms wide.

I walk upstairs slowly, nervous to what I'm about to walk into. Be gentle? It's hardly a phrase that works with Hendrix. But Tanya seemed so assertive, in the kindest way possible.

Considering this, I decide to knock when I reach his room. A low grumble resonates which I take as invitation inside. Hendrix is sat on his bed wearing a large thick jumper and matching joggers, with tired eyes and wild hair. He looks at me blank and expressionless, something that sends a chill down my spine. Where is that twinkle in his eye?

"Hi." I mumble. I place Ellie on the floor and take a tentative step forward. "I've come to see if you're alright." I tell him.

His lips lift slightly with a smirk, but it doesn't meet his eyes. "Really? Because I imagined you were her to call me a dick again for leaving you with a crying baby."

I roll my eyes but smile softly, nervously tucking my hair behind my ears. "Well, I might've been. But I've changed my mind now." There is a pause where neither of us say or do nothing. We just look at one another in silence. "Do you mind me being here?" I ask him softly.

He shakes his head and pushes away his bed covers as if to signify his invitation for me to move closer. I smile and sit beside him, my legs hanging off of the side. "I don't mind." He eventually answers.

"Do you... want to talk?" I suggest. He looks at me then and with this closeness, I recognise that his eyes aren't just tired. They're worn from tears. He's been crying. Something impulsive in me makes me want to run my thumb across the redness that hangs beneath them. I resist.

"Today is just a hard day." He tells me and I see him swallow, no doubt pushing down another wave of emotion. I say nothing, deciding it's better for him to talk in his own time than for me to pressure him for an explanation. "It's the anniversary." He explains, running a heavy hand through his hair.

I don't need him to tell me. With his eyes glued on Ellie's car seat, I can infer as much for myself. I've never brought it up, but I never forgot how he referred to his mum in the past tense. She died today. Elijah's mum left him today.

"Elijah, I'm so sorry." I say weakly. I hate that there is nothing else to say, and I don't doubt that he's tired of hearing how sorry people are. Instead, I decide actions are worth more, so I place my hand on top of his and squeeze it in support.

He hangs his head and sighs, not baring notice to the foreign gesture. "It's been seven years, but today just doesn't get any easier. People tell me it will, but I think they're just sugar coating the truth." He says. I run my tongue along the back of my teeth, feeling completely useless that I can't offer this boy any support. That I can't fix this suffering. "She was quite like you, you know." He adds, turning to me with a soft smile.

I match it before simply replying, "Oh?"

He nods and leans back against his headboard. I copy, my hand having found it's way to being enclosed in his. "She was fiery. Had something to say about everything. Funny too."

"She sounds great." I reply. He nods in agreement.

"She was. It got her quick. She was diagnosed and then a couple months later, gone. I remember it like it was yesterday." I say nothing, aware of how his hand has tightened around mine, seeking support. "I didn't just lose my mum. I lose everything. She was my dad too. My friend. All gone."

His voice quivers then and I find myself throwing myself on to him, pulling him into an embrace before he can fight me away. "Eli, I'm so sorry." I mumble into the crook of his neck. In response, his hands tighten around me in desperation, fumbling to hold on to anything real, to keep him grounded and out of his own head. He buries his head into the curve between my neck and shoulder, and I feel my skin dampen slightly with his tears.

I can barely hold my own back. This boy, so often charming in his own arrogant way, now here, completely broken and fragile, bearing all.

He pulls away first, wiping his face discretely as he does so. "You asked me a while ago why I was taking childcare. Do you remember?" I nod and edge back slightly, opening the distance between us. "I want to work in social services. When my auntie was fighting for custody with my dad, they offered us so much support. They were so good. Made it that little bit easier. I hope I can do the same for kids like me."

"That's lovely. Commendable even." I tell him. He lets out a short and breathy laugh, tilting his head slightly with a soft smile on his face.

"Commendable?" He echoes. "You're terrible at this Osborne."

My lips twitch with a smile. "I'm better at support cuddles." I tell him. He cocks a brow in amusement.

"If you want a cuddle, just ask Osborne. I know I certainly wouldn't mind one." Wordlessly, the pair of us shuffle to lay down and wrap our arms around one another in a way that seems almost instinctive. Elijah buries his face in my hair, I don't doubt to hide his tears of heartbreak, but I let him. I hold him to me tight, not thinking about the intimacy, or how it's not something I should be doing with my nemesis.

Because right now, he's simply a boy with a scarred heart, seeking the relief of support. If I can offer that, then what does the rest matter? Not our past and our feud. Not now, and my feelings I can't quite understand. Just being here.

I kiss him on the cheek softly and then we stay there in silence, as I act as the unlikely support in my enemies moment in need.

A/N - I knew this was coming and I still welled up when I was writing. My baby Eli. I just want to give him a cuddle.

I promise that I'm not turning this book into a tear jerker - I can't write when I'm crying - but I just wanted to show some rawness with these guys. Add some depth to their relationship.

There will be laughs next chapter, honest!

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