Chapter 7

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Things were different after that, but the good kind of different. Having him hold me close at night, lips hitting the back of my neck, arm secured around my waist as his body dwarfed my own. It was perfect, feeling his lips on mine in the mornings to wake me up, arms wrapping around my waist as I cooked breakfast, Henry saying "dada" every time he saw him, and Deans grin each time. It seemed like the world was letting him enjoy a normal life. John took off to hunt, coming back every now and then to say hi, but for the most part left Dean to stay with Henry and I. What Dean didn't know is that John and I had talked, and he secretly wanted Dean to find someone, settle down, have a couple kids. He was happy for Dean and I, because he knew how hard it was to have something like a relationship in this life. Dean and I had been together for six months at that point. Everything seemed fine, great even, until John never came home. Weeks had gone by without a word, and we were all getting worried. Then one day Dean got a message, which was just cryptic and terrifying enough to NOT soothe us a goddamn bit. I knew Dean had to go look for him, I just wasn't expecting the conversation that followed.

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"You want to take Sam?!" Dean paced the room as I stood by the door, Henry downstairs with Bobby.

"He's my brother! I need his help to find dad."

"Dean, we both know you could do this on your own. He made it clear he didn't want to be a part of this life, why would you want to drag him back in?" Dean sighed, wiping a hand down his face as he sat down on the bed. I sat next to him, linking our fingers together when he grabbed my hand. He didn't say anything for a few minutes, and I didn't press him on it. He didn't share his emotions often.

"When Sam left, I didn't know what to do with myself. All my life, I always took care of him. That was always my job, and once he was gone, I felt lost. Things had been good, just me, Sam and dad. I just want us to all be a family again. Is that so bad?" I smiled gently, taking my free hand to cup the side of his face, drawing his eyes over to meet my own. I shook my head.

"No Dean, that's not so bad. I know that must have been hard, losing him, just be careful. I don't want to see either of you hurt." He leaned forward, kissing me carefully before pulling back with a smile.

"I promise" and even as he said it, as I looked into the set of green eyes I'd grown to adore, I could feel something brewing underneath the metaphorical surface. I'd held him closer that night, tracing the contours of his jaw, lips, cheeks, memorizing his face as he slept. There was a part of me that knew he wasn't coming back, that even if he did, it wouldn't be the same. Things would change. He was going to be on the road more, maybe find someone else, and I would be okay with that. He was getting his brother back, someone I knew he needed in his life, and I wouldn't keep him from that. As much as I loved him, I'd never ask him to stay. Family meant everything to him. I would miss him, but I knew he had to go.

The next day, I had to watch him leave, heading back towards Stanford University where he'd finally see his brother again after four years. I'd kissed him desperately before he climbed into the car, watched with teary eyes as he said goodbye to Henry. I made him promise to call, to be careful, but I knew there would be no guarantees. He'd call if he could, and I understood that. Anxiety bubbled in my stomach, and my smile was forced as I waved after the Impala's tail lights. Something was coming, something big, and my gut was telling me it wasn't good.

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Honestly I never thought I'd hear from him again. For awhile, he made sure to call almost daily to check in, but as the months passed, his calls became less and less frequent, until they stopped coming altogether. Bobby found me a house barely a mile away and helped move me in. After that I found a daycare for Henry then got myself a job at a nearby diner. Nearly three years had passed since then, and Dean was still gone. I'd given up on seeing him again. Bobby made sure to keep me posted, but I felt there was something he wasn't telling me. Henry was five now, and extremely smart. He would be starting first grade in the fall.

It was nine when the knock sounded on the door, the person pretty persistent in their mission. I sent Henry to the couch to watch cartoons as I approached the door, the knocks still coming. I threw open the door, content to start yelling at whoever disturbed me this late, but seeing Dean Winchester on my doorstep, that was something I never expected. My mouth opened a few times, words failing to leave my mouth as he simply stared.

"Dean?" He smiled softly at that, eyes watering slightly.

"Hey sweetheart" I threw myself into his arms, hugging him tightly. He sighed against my shoulder, and I could feel the tension leave his body. Then, I heard Henrys voice.

"Daddy!" Henry bolted towards Dean, chestnut hair swinging widely. He refused to let me cut it. I saw Dean grin, a genuine smile that lit up the room. He lifted Henry up, holding him close to him. I could see a few tears slide down his cheeks, but didn't comment on them, simply letting him and my son be. Eventually though, I spoke up.

"Dean, why don't you come inside?" He looked up at me, nodding as he continued to hold Henry close as he stepped inside the house, letting me close the door behind him.

"Henry baby, it's time for bed sweetie. Why don't you go get dressed?" He shook his head, holding onto Dean tighter. Dean smiled, gently prying Henry's fingers away from his jacket. He sat Henry down, then crouched, becoming eye level with the small boy.

"I tell you what, do as your mom says, and I'll tuck you in." Henry nodded and ran off. Dean smiled after him before looking to me, the smile sliding from his face.

"You were gone." I spoke, and I saw him look down in guilt.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just, with everything going on with Sam and the demon, I couldn't get you involved." I nodded, understanding what he was coming from but wishing he had talked to me.

"You should have talked to me. You were just.....gone! Henry looked for you for weeks! He asked about you all the time and I had no idea what to tell him. He thinks you're a superhero! All I can say is you're lucky he's forgiving." I shook my head, wiping the tears that had fallen down my cheeks. I didn't want him to know how much his departure had hurt me. I heard his have boots as they came towards me, his arms wrapping around me solidly to hold me close.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." I shook my head, pulling away from him.

"You lied to me! You said you wouldn't leave! You said you'd be there and you weren't!" He looked hurt as he stood there, staring at me, tears pooling in his eyes.

"Mommy?" I looked over towards the hallway, seeing Henry's five year old body toddle over to me.

"Why are you crying mommy?" He asked, tugging on the hem of my shirt. I knelt down and hugged him, placing a kiss to the top of his head.

"Nothing baby, I'm ok, go with Dean and get tucked in okay?" He nodded, looking apprehensive as he kissed my cheek.

"Goodnight mommy" he said, and I smiled, running my hand over his thick head of hair.

"Goodnight love." He ran towards Dean and tugged him towards his room, talking so fast it was almost incoherent. I wiped my hand down my face, moving to the kitchen to make coffee. I had a feeling, it was going to be a long night.

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And a long night it was. After Dean got back from Henry's room, we sat and talked all night, about what had happened while he was gone, about the demon, and lastly, about his deal. He told me everything, from Sam's death to the crossroads demon, to the slim 6 months he had left on the earth. I wanted to hate him for it, for doing something like that, but also for showing back up in Henry's life knowing he would once again be gone. Instead, I cried for hours, curled up against his chest, sobbing as he carded his fingers through my hair, making promises I knew he couldn't keep. We fell asleep like that, waking up in the same embrace. I had asked how long he was staying, and he'd smiled sadly, responding that he'd be there for as long as I would have him. Sam was with Bobby, and Dean had lied about being on a last bender so he could leave to come visit.

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He stayed for three weeks. That last evening we'd sat down to a nice dinner, all of us together, like a family. Dean and I had fallen back into our usual routine, but his impending doom had settled in the back of my mind. After Henry was in bed, Dean came back downstairs, sitting next to me at the table. We ended up in bed together that night, hands exploring and learning every new mile of revealed skin, shivering with lust, hushed moans escaping our lips in the darkness as we worshiped each other. We'd laid next to each other after, blissfully sated, wrapped up in each other, bodies as close as they could be. I fell asleep smiling. When the next morning came around, there was nothing left to prove he'd been there at all. He was gone. Forever this time.

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