She's back...

She's back.

I look around the table. We're all pretty fucked up by the fact she suddenly appeared again. We sold the bar, because it reminded us too much of her.

It's one am, but none of us can sleep. We're seated at the dinner table, all a whisky in our hands. We don't talk, it's too painful. It's been too painful for two years to talk about her.

Elijah coughs. I slowly look up at him, in the haze of thoughts about Scarlett. Her smile was always so beautiful... now we didn't even get a small or fake one.

"So she's clearly mad," he hums. I roll my eyes. I'd be too. "Yeah, fucking duh. She's hurt," Owen snaps.  Jordan sighs. "And she's right about it. We hurt her so much, it's normal she doesn't forgive us."

I nod. I didn't even expect her to talk to us. She has every right to be mad and hurt... but we're hurt too. Hurt by our own stupidity.

She was so fucking right earlier. we should have just talked to her. We should have told her there was a psycho threatening her life. We should have sat together and thought about a solution.

But Italy?

Fuck, we didn't even know she was accepted. After she was gone, Elijah mentioned Dylan signing her up to a college in Italy. We went straight to Dallas and Dylan, who kicked us out after confirming it.

But we... managed. Elijah closed up again, Owen got depressed. Although he didn't even try to take his life again. 'I deserve suffering like this' he once said.

Jordan only works, he hasn't taken a day off since she left. Aaron got many scars right after she was gone, brushing it off as 'business', but we all know better. He did it to feel anything else than the burning pain in his chest. Our chests.

It doesn't fucking lessen. It burns me up from the inside, but I know I deserve it. I hurt Scarlett so much and I'll never forgive myself for it. She won't forgive us either, so that's fair.

But now she's back... and for a second I got hope. Hope she could look around this and that we'd end up together. But when we explained... she looked emotionless. Lifelessness.

No feelings for us at all anymore. And that's... that's fine. She has to go on, or so I tell myself. My heart wants nothing else than just hold her for an eternity, to have her back here, but that's not possible.

She won't come back. She made that very clear.

I give a helpless shrug. I'm worth nothing. Not since she went to Italy... we didn't even send men to check up on her, can you believe it? She clearly didn't want to have anything to do with us anymore. We respected that. We shouldn't have. Now we lost her.

"Ethan." I startle out of my thoughts and look at Aaron. He points at my phone. "It's ringing." I sigh and nod, but pick it up. My eyes widen and I jump up.

"Dylan?"

The others jump up too, all shocked like I am. Dallas and Dylan broke all contact after they kicked us out, which is completely understandable. 

"Believe me, I'm not happy I'm calling either," his voice sounds. Unlike me, I could fucking cry with happiness if this means something good.

"Then why are you?" I keep my voice steady, not giving away how fucking happy I am. The others motion to put him on speaker, but I frown and shake my head. I'm too selfish right now.

He sighs over the phone. "Listen, Scarlett is having a panic attack. She won't fricking calm down. And me calling doesn't mean either of us forgives any of you. She just doesn't calm down and I'm hopeless and nothing works—" "What's the address?"

He falls silent. "Um—you have to keep this silent, okay? Dallas can't find out. He's furious at you and if he finds out I called you... then I'm screwed. Got it?"

"You're a good guy, Dylan. Now what's the fucking address?" My feet are moving to the door. The others follow me, clueless about Scarlett having a panic attack. I'll tell them in a minute.

Dylan gives me the address and I groan in frustration. It's ten streets from here... so fucking close. 

I jump in my car and see the others diving in. "What's happening? Why are we driving somewhere at one am?" Owen frowns as I pull off as soon as the door closes. We're pretty much pushed together, but Scarlett is worth that. 

She's worth every fucking thing in this world.

"Scarlett's having a panic attack," I casually tell them, eyes on the road. They fall silent for a second. "Then why's Dylan calling you?"

I shrug. I don't know either, I only know he tried a lot and nothing helps. "Listen, just let me go first, okay? I've done this earlier with her. You can join when she's calmed down. If I even manage that, it's not easy if she's gonna send me away."

A sigh sounds, but they can't do anything else than agree. "Fine," Elijah grumbles next to me, gaze outside. I let out a breath. "Thank you."

I park and jump out. Dylan is already waiting at the door, probably avoiding us ringing the bell and waking up Dallas. I run to him. "Where is she?"

He blocks the doorway. "Don't use this against her. She didn't want me to call you, but she's gonna pass out if she doesn't stop panicking. So I did call you. But please, don't blackmail her with this or something," he warns. I rise my hands in surrender.

"Wasn't planning to. Just want to help her, that's all." He gives me a doubtful look, but lets me pass. "Be silent, Dallas is sleeping. Second door on your left. I'll let the others in when you give a sign," he whispers. I nod, already moving to the door.

I take a deep breath in before entering the room. This is where I hoped on for so long—a chance to be there for her. I won't talk her into coming back to us because we do come for her, I just want to comfort her.

I open the door and walk in. I close it behind me again and eye her on the bed. She's crying and breathing heavily. The breaths are following each other up fast, and Dylan was right. She'll pass out if this carries on.

"Scarlett?"

Her head yanks up and she sobs harder, hiding her face. "N-no, go away. I can't— hurts too much," she cries. It hurts me, but I nod. I hold my hands up casually.

"I know, prince—Scarlett. I know, Scarlett. I'm not here to take you with me. I'm here to help you, if you accept it. If you don't want me here, I'll go."

She doubts, and I count to three in my head. If she doesn't answer on three, she doesn't want me here but is too kind to tell me to fuck off.

One.

A sigh sounds. 

Two.

She sobs.

Three.

I nod and turn around, but she cries out. "No! Don't go, I-I need to stop," she whisper the last part. I turn around again, but stay at the door, at the distance.

"Can I come closer?" I softly ask. She sobs and nods. I carefully walk towards her, ignoring the small beats my heart is missing at her willingness to have me close.

I walk slowly, so she doesn't flinch. She watches me with teary eyes. I kneel next to her bed, still keeping distance for her. "Can I take your hand?"

She sobs and nods. "It hurts," she sniffles. I nod. "I know. Where exactly does it hurt?" She places a finger on her chest. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she pointed at her lungs. But no, she's pointing to her heart. Maybe she is still hurting as much as us... or maybe just a small amount of it.

Fuck. 

"Will you help me, Ethan?" she cries. I nod. "What's the coolest thing about Italy?" I ask her while taking her other hand and helping her to sit up. She frowns between her sobs. "Don't do this, Ethan. I can't—I can't."

"Answer the question. Was it the sun? The ice cream? Or the fact you could wear sunglasses all the time? Probably the ice cream," I wink at her. Her breath hitches for a second.

"I- No, it was this sweet old lady who I totally loved. She had five cats and they were very sweet! It reminded me of— of my brothers," she quickly corrects. I nod. Her breathing is slowing down, just like I thought it would do.

"What else?" I whisper. She frowns. "Um— one of the cats led me to a cliff some day. I could see lots of the sea. It was so blue! I could see lots of boats, like those big white ones! I totally loved the sight and came back every day after class. It was close to the campus. I studied there and ate ice cream and watched sunsets—it was amazing."

She's smiling. Smiling smiling. I give her a small smile too. I sit down next to her on the bed. She's calming down, I just have to carry on with this.

"And the ice cream? As good as here?" I ask her. I don't look at her, knowing she'd feel pressured. She lets out a small sigh. "Better. Italian ice cream is truly the best ever."

Then why did you came back? I want to ask her. But I don't. 

"Still a pistachio girl?" She grins and nods. "Although citron and chocolate are favorites of mine too," she adds. I let out a low chuckle, comforting her. "Ah, of course. The chocolate."

She nods. The conversation dies. I look away and so does she. I cringe at the awkwardness and am about to say something—anything—when I hear noise in the hallway.

I stand up and walk to the door, but it opens before I can even reach to the door knob. Owen runs in and overwhelms Scarlett in a hug. The other three follow. Jordan gives me an apologetic look. "Sorry, man. I couldn't hold him there anymore."

I sigh and look at the bed, where Owen pushed Scarlett in a lying position on the bed and is completely engulfing her. "I missed you," he sighs.

"Owen," I hiss. He opens one eye to look at me, but shrugs and nestles his face in her neck shortly after. Elijah buries his face in his hands. "Idiot. Get your ass back here."

Scarlett looks at me with wide eyes, then looks at Owen with softened ones. "Owen, could you maybe move? You're in a very weird position here."

He notices a tone in her voice and nods, releasing her completely. I sigh in relief. Thank God, he'll fuck this up even more, I swear.

"Sorry," he whisper, "I thought—" "Wrong. You thought wrong."

My spine stiffens and I freeze. Fuck. Dallas.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he spats. Owen quickly runs to us, hiding behind Elijah, who looks horrified too.

"Babe, don't go in the—shit," Dylan pants. Dallas turns and glares at him. My eyes widen at his back. When the fuck did he become this broad?

"You knew? Fuck, of course you knew. You let them in, didn't you? Dylan, why on God's earth would you do that? I thought we agreed—" "We did. We did agree. But Scarlett was having a panic attack and nothing helped and I-I was just hopeless. I'm sorry."

Dallas sighs, but swings an arm around his shoulder. He looks at us, cocks an eyebrow. Jordan swallows. "Listen, man. We were just trying to help—" "A girl has a panic attack and all five of you do a 180° turn and come here to help her? Wow, what a gentlemen are you." He nods in fake approval.

Jordan shuts up. I sigh. The fuck? Since when are we this weak? It's fucking Dallas.

"Would you all shut up? Just-shut all the way up," Scarlett snaps. Everyone looks at her, making her blush. "Listen to me. I don't like it when everyone knows what happened to me, so stop talking about it. And yes, you are my best friend, Dallas, but still. Second, Ethan helped me. He was nice and distracted me. Nothing is wrong with that."

Dallas nods. "Doesn't explain why they're all here, though. Are you having secret affairs, young lady?" He cocks an eyebrow, but they both start laughing.

I release a breath. I don't get what's happening here, but at least Dallas doesn't look like he's here to beat us up anymore.

He grips Dylan's neck and turns him around. I only now realize he's still very sleepy-looking. "Okay. I'm going back to bed and this traitor is coming with me. You'll figure it out, right Scarlett? If you need my help, just knock on the door."

She nods and smiles at him. "I'm sure I can handle this, Dallas. Thank you, though. Don't go too rough on Dylan!" she calls after him. I catch a glance of a blushing Dylan when they close the door. Dallas laughs, "You know he won't complain!"

Then, the door is closed and a silence dawns. Scarlett sits down on her bed again. I look at her. She has a stern look in her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest.

Uh oh.

"Talk," she snaps. Owen winces and comes from behind Elijah again. "Scarlett, I—" "Not you, you've talked enough today. Aaron, I haven't heard you. Why don't you talk?"

Owen looks perplexed for a second and blinks, then slowly turns to Aaron. Aaron, who's pale. I frown and snap my fingers in front of his face. He blinks and staggers. "I- I need to sit," he mumbles.

Scarlett gasps and makes place on the bed for him. Elijah supports him, then pushes him down on the bed. 

Aaron pulls up his knees and puts his head in between. Scarlett frowns and rubs his back, whispering things to him I don't understand. He shakes his head a few times.

"I-I'm fine," he mutters. Scarlett rolls her eyes. She looks between us, almost as if doubting. Then, she smiles. "Elijah, why won't you talk? You can do it with certain other girls, it must go now too."

My jaw drops, and so does Elijah's. He's speechless for a second, opens and closes his mouth a few times.

"Um- I'm not sure I quite understand." He winces at his own. Scarlett sighs, hard. Owen begs her with his eyes. "Why can't I—" "Because you've already told the rest, Owen."

He frowns and looks over at me and Jordan, silently saying, 'But Elijah will fuck up.' I nod. He's not good at the talking, and Scarlett knows that.

"Tell me what exactly happened at the restaurant that day, and why I didn't get any explanation. Come on, you were there. If you can talk to those girls without any problem, there's nothing holding you from talking to me, is there?"

She's going far. Very far. But we can't say anything on it, because this might be our last chance to get her on the same terms as us again.

"It wasn't without any problem! You know I'm a fucking introvert!" he yells. My eyes widen, and so do Scarlett's. I grip his arms and give him a shocked look. His eyes widen too and he collects himself.

"I- sorry. I just— will you fucking listen to me?" He looks her dead in the eyes. Scarlett stares dead back. I wince.

"Yes."

Aaron gags and covers his mouth with his hand. Scarlett's eyes widen and she runs to a door with Aaron's other wrist in her hand. The door reveals a small bathroom and apparently they're just in time, because I hear Aaron puke.

I shiver. Ew. This is not quite helping with the situation, but maybe when Scarlett comes back, everyone is a bit calmer again.

Another wave of puke follows. I glance at Owen, who scrunches his nose. Elijah is staring at the ground and Jordan is pulking his fingers. I sigh.

Scarlett comes back in. "Sit down. This will take a while. Don't you dare leave this room," she warns. She even points her finger at us before going back to Aaron.

I sigh. "Come on, guys. We better listen to her."