Golden

"I just feel like shit and I feel guilty" I cried into Mama Shae's chest. Pops was sitting there rubbing my back while eating my bag of Doritos.

"Baby there's nothing to feel guilty about"

"Yes there is, the last words I said to Jay were cruel. I told him to die slow, that he was a regret and I hated him. Next thing I hear is he's dead, I did this" I sobbed uncontrollably, I couldn't even pull myself together enough to talk to the cops with Claire.

"Baby girl it was his time, you had nothing to do with it"

"I still shouldn't have said those things"

"Can I talk to Golden for a minute"

I sat up as Mama Shae wiped my eyes and kissed my forehead. I adjusted my self and turned around to see Ka'ron standing by the kitchen door.

"You can't be making careless decisions like that" he said not really caring about my tears.

"Ka'ron leave me alone" I mumbled.

"That was a dumb ass moved you pulled" Ka'ron yelled trying to tell me off but I didn't care. When it came to my kids I would put my life on the line.

"Someone has my kids, you expected me to just sit here and wait?" I asked.

"No but you're pregnant and you left Kaelin and Ketara wondering where their mother went. What if something would have happened to you?"

"I'm back and I'm fine so you could stop trying to lecture me like you're my father or something"

"Like you know what it's like to have one" he scoffed making me smack him.

"Fuck you" I said before I brushed past him and left the kitchen to enter the livingroom where the detective and Claire were.

"We're gonna take Claire down to the station to make an official statement and she'll work with a sketch artist. We'll see if we could ID the man who came and took your kids" Detective Miller said standing to his feet.

"She said it was Nathan, why can't you bring him in?" I asked. I was on edge because time was going by fast and I had no idea where my kids were and if they were ok.

"She described someone with the same features as Nathan but when we showed her a picture of him, she said it wasn't the man"

"Either someone is going out of there way to make us believe Mr.Sanders is behind this or he's trying to throw us off him" another officer spoke up.

"So this could be yet another person, another dead end and my kids are still nowhere to be found. I know how this goes after 48 hours..."

"We're going to do everything in our power to find your boys. I will not rest until they're back with you" Detective Miller assured me before taking Claire and leaving.

"I think we should all stay here for the night, I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving you here alone" Shae said. I nodded and looked at Ka'ron rolling my eyes.

"I'm gonna go to bed" I said getting up. I made my way up stairs and into my room to take a shower. After washing up and drying off, I lotion my skin and threw on some boy shorts and an oversized tee. It didn't take me long to fall asleep my head touched the pillow.

"Golden"

"Aluminum Foil" I heard the voice call out. I suddenly opened my eyes, only one person called me that.

I got up and looked around noticing I was surrounded by what looked like white clouds. Everything around me was white including the long dress I had on. I turned around looking for the voice that I had heard. I gasped when I turned around and saw Jayceon.

All the previous resentment I had towards him disappeared as I ran towards him and cried into his chest.

"Tell me I was dreaming before and you're not really gone" I whispered.

"I'm not on Earth physically anymore but I'm always watching over you Gold. Missing my kids everyday" he smiled softly.

"Why did you leave me?" I cried.

"I didn't, you're going to find out all you need to know soon enough. I need you to promise me that your going to take it easy with this baby"

"What do you mean? What am I going to find out?" I looked up at him.

"In due time everything thing will come to the light but promise me you'll take care of yourself and the kids. Now that I'm not here they need you more than ever. You're going to be fine" he tried to tell me but I was still unsure.

"How can I believe that, I don't even know where my kids are, I know I said I hated you but I can't do this without you Jay" I confessed.

"Promise me this Gold, I don't want you pulling what you pulled earlier. My mother has made her mistakes and she's done her wrongs but she's not behind this" he revealed.

"If not her then who? I just feel so alone and confused, I don't know what to do. Every time I relax something bad happens"

"You are not alone, you have a huge support system. Just know that there's a light at the end of this dark tunnel" he reminded me but I didn't want anyone else, I just wanted him.

"Why didn't you tell me about what happened with your mom" I asked.

"I didn't want you looking at me differently, I was ashamed of what happened to me" he replied giving me a soft smile.

"I wouldn't have looked at you differently, I could've helped you" I mumbled.

"You did help me Golden, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have gotten saved. You praying for me every night and bringing me to church helped" he smiled.

"I should've done more" I frowned.

"The decisions I made are what caused God to call me home early. You're going to prosper and go far without me Gold. You didn't need me I was holding you back and clouding your judgement"

"Will I see you again?" I asked not wanting this to end.

"I don't know but if you don't just know that I love you and I'm sorry for all the wrong I've done to you. It took this happening for me to realize you were best thing that could've happened to me along with my kids. You're an amazing woman inside and out, take care of my them and my unborn daughter" he said touching my stomach.

"Daughter?" I asked with tears in my eyes

"Yeah our baby girl" he smiled.

"I'm gonna let her know that you were an amazing father" I sniffled. Me and Jayceon's relationship was anything but perfect but his relationship with our kids was beautiful.

"My time with you is up, I know everything seems bad right now but just like every other that's tried to keep you down, this too shall pass. I love you " he placed a kiss on my forehead before turning around and walking off. I tried running after him but he disappeared and I was left alone, without him once again.

"I love you too" I whispered before falling to my knees.

I suddenly woke up and gasped looking around my room. I cried and thanked God for that dream. I had been praying for another chance to see him and I got it. It made me feel better knowing he was in a better place.

I sat back and thought about who could be behind the kidnapping. I thought about the few people we've had run ins without throughout the years. The list wasn't long but everyone on the list was crazy in one way or another.

Ashlyn, locked up

Nathan, recently released

Candice, ?

Bambi, ?

Those were the only four people we've had major problems. Although my mother was still locked up, she could still make moves from inside. Nathan was a trifling child molester who hated me. I never knew what happened to Candice or Bambi. Bambi was a hater but I don't think she was smart enough or dumb enough to do this shit again. Candice, after we moved, we completely forgot about those two and now with Nathan on the loose, I didn't know who could be behind this. For all I know, it could be all of them or none of them.

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Who fücking with Golden? It could the damn mail man with my unpredictable ass

Thoughts?

naya😘