the fear that everything has already been done

[I.M Changkyun]

My alarm sounded and I sighed, like normal. My back was against Jooheon's chest once more. His arm was wrapped tightly around my waist and he had no intention of letting go. I liked moments like these and hoped for them more often. Only he had to let me get up, Shownu needed me today. Well I think he did at least. All he told me was to dress presentable and meet him in his office.

"Jooheon, get off. I need to go." I extended all my words, hoping he'd get the point that this was important. All I earned was a groan in response and a slightly loosened arm. I pushed on his arm in hope he would let go, which I usually wouldn't want.

I twisted around trying to wriggle out of his grasp, but he wasn't budging. "Baby, let go. Please, I need to meet up with Shownu. You don't want him mad right? You keep resting, I'll be back soon."

With my words out in the open, Jooheon shot up and looked at me with the biggest grin. "You called me 'baby.'" His smile was so wide that his eyes had turned into crescent moons and had almost shut completely. Instead of letting me go, like I had asked, he rolled onto his back. Then proceeded to pick me up, so I was sitting onto top him. My face flushed and I could feel my cheeks heating up.

"Stop it. I won't call you it again if you don't let me go!" I probably sounded like an annoying child but I didn't like confrontation, even over small things. Yes, I happened to call Jooheon a pet name, but he was supposed to ignore it or keep his thoughts in his head.

Jooheon pulled my face to his, kissing my forehead. I could feel his smile, and I almost smiled myself. Then he finally let me start to get ready.

***

I walked to Shownu's office looking better than usual. Quite frankly, I felt really good. I wasn't too dressed up but I felt different. A white dress shirt hung over my graphic t-shirt, with one side tucked into my leather pants. A pendent that Shownu gave me hung around my neck, matching my silver belt and my eyebrow piercing. I felt like a new and improved me, this was a date worthy outfit...Jooheon just had to take me on one.

"Ah good, you're here. Sit down, sit down." Shownu gave me a tight hug before pulling out a chair for me. Now I was kind of worried, this talk could go really good or really bad.

I didn't say anything but instead just waited. The good thing was that Shownu's smile never left his face. He honestly looked really happy.

I quickly jumped to conclusions and shouted the first thing that came to my head. "Oh my god! Is Soyou pregnant? Shownu congrat-"

"Soyou isn't pregnant, I.M. It wouldn't be a good idea right before a mission, hopefully after everything is over...Anyway that's not why we're here. We are here to discuss you and your love life." My stomach dropped. First because I could possibly be an uncle soon, and secondly because my brother may know about Jooheon.

"M-My love life?" I couldn't help but to stutter. I didn't want to be weak to my own brother, my own gang leader.

Shownu clasped his hands together, and his smile was still prominent. "You're going on your first official date to find your future wife and co-leader."

That's why he wanted my to look nice, because he wanted me to get engaged soon. I didn't say a word, but I tried not to look disappointed either. This was just a waste of time, I wasn't going to get married. Not if it wasn't Jooheon.

"She's waiting in our private restaurant, I hope you didn't eat breakfast yet. She truly is a nice girl, so take it easy on her because she seemed nervous." I watched as my brother get up out of his seat, helping me out of my own. He gave me a pat on the back and sent me on my way.

As I walked down the many flights of stairs to the restaurant, I thought about Shownu's words. 'Take it easy on her because she seemed nervous.' She was raised in a gang, how could she be scared of me? Maybe she had some bad experience in the past with relationships.

I must've been walking tremendously fast, because there I was standing in front of the restaurant doors. I peered in through the glass and there she was. There was no doubt in my mind that she was beautiful, almost too beautiful.

She wore a tight, red dress that hugged her body perfectly down to her calves. And her black hair flowed to her waist. Her eyes were big and bright, and her lips were undoubtedly kissable. I gazed at her as she smiled and bowed to a waiter, she was just beautiful. But she wasn't my Jooheon.

[Lee Jooheon]

"Hey, Wonho! Wait up!" I ran down the hall towards Wonho, hoping he'd have some kind of answer about what Shownu wanted with Changkyun.

He spun around, and when he saw me he smiled. "Hey Jooheony, what's up?"

"Did you just call me...nevermind. Do you know where Changkyun is?" I shook my head at the silly nickname, and started asking questions right away.

Wonho chuckled a bit before answering me. "Shownu is making him go on a date with an ally gang leader's daughter. She's one of the sweetest girls I've ever met, and goddamn is she beautiful. I'd take her for myself if Changkyun-"

"He's going on a date? He can't get engaged." Wonho stopped walking and put both his hands on my shoulders.

"Listen, Jooheon. No matter how much Changkyun wants to be with you, he can't tell Shownu about your relationship. It would ruin both of you. Let him go on a couple dates, he's not going to get engaged. I know Changkyun, he's going to resist."

I don't care how much he resisted, Changkyun was mine. I didn't want him going on dates with other people. Why couldn't he just be mine?