Elena's pov

"Parla con me." Translation: Talk to me.

Fettigness. Pounding against my head as if I hit my head really hard on something. Feeling my eyes twitch along with my body I felt sore. 
Wanting to open my eyes to see what's happening I couldn't. My eyes felt heavy, it seemed as if they were glued down.

"Fissalo e riportalo al posto. Ci sarò tra un po '." Translation: Secure it and take it back to the place. I'll be there in a bit. 

Cringing at the voice my head started to pound even more. Letting out a groaning sound of pain I tried to move only to feel weak as if my body was just limp.

'What the...'

"Elena?" 

Feeling his warm hand on my back I felt relaxed, it felt nice. So soft. Managing to open my eyes I was blessed to see a well dressed Luciano ready for the day. He smelled nice, he took a shower this morning. I wonder why he was in my room?

My throat felt stupid dry as if I never drank water in years. What happened to me last night? Trying to sit upright as slowly as possible Luciano leaned in, grabbing the cover and moving it up and that's when I noticed... I was naked. Even though I was feeling weak I managed to cling onto the sheets as I just stare down at it. Don't tell me I did something bad last night with him?!

"Don't worry tesoro I would never take advantage of you." Relaxing a bit I observe him as he reaches over to the nightstand to pick up a glass of water along with some pills.

"Last night you were pretty drunk..." Letting out a chuckle he hands me the glass of water. "Open up tesoro." Popping two pills into my mouth my lips touch the glass, drinking the water down I let myself relax as my thirst started to disappear. 

"D-Did I embarrass you?" I quietly asked as I set the empty glass of water down on the table. I don't remember what happened at all at the party. What I do remember was that I wasn't supposed to get lost or talk to anyone. I don't know the exact reason but it could be very bad. His facial expression was hard, he didn't seem to happy whatsoever.

"No."

Looking down at my lap I knew something happen, I may not have embarrassed him but I might have caused some drama.

"Tornerò presto." Translation: I'll be back soon.

Hearing his footsteps slowly disappear  from my room I continued to look at my lap. Confused and ashamed. This isn't who I am. Taking the sheets off of me I slowly stood up from the bed, being careful as I feel slightly dizzy. Walking into the closet I throw on a large shirt, covering my naked body.

What's weird is that even though we didnt have intercorse deep down I really wished we did. I don't know but being naked in front of him made me feel good? Well shy but like I felt kinda empowered in a way. It's weird to explain. 
If I had the courage I would have pulled him down in the bed with me and kiss him. I like him alot, I'm skeptical since he's a mobster but my heart just flutters. He's handsome and I want to give him a chance but I'm scared, what happens if I do? What could happen to my family? To me? What would my family think of me? Especially my father.

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Hours passed by, one minute it was morning the next the sun is setting down. I was hoping that Luciano would come back soon so I could talk to him but he hasn't shown up. 'He's handling business' is what Lorenzo said before he left four hours ago. 
During this time small flashbacks came back from last night making me slightly frightened but a little nervous. I remember what I said and did...

"Mi piaci..." Translation: I like you... 
Closing my eyes I let my head hit the wall as I tried my best not to shadder, to brake as my emotions grew.

As a little girl my mother and my father taught me to be me, not to have relationships and stay a virgin. I wasn't allowed to talk to guys at my schools. My parents wanted me to stay pure and work hard. I always wanted to break that but deep down the way I was disciplined I couldn't.
 I'm a grown woman now, I still feel those ways where I shoudn't but I really want to, I want to break those habits and be me, a woman that just wants something special.

Letting out a chuckle I shake my head at myself. Really? Something special? Dating a mafia man is 'special'? It isn't. Doing that could get me killed but my feelings, I can't get rid of them. I don't want to be with him but at the same time I want to. I'm scared, frighten what could happen to me and my family. I'm not in it for the money, I'm not a gold digger, I'm just a woman that wants something special and real, not fake... 

"Why am I like this?" I ask myself out loud as I stood up from the ground. Exiting from my room I walk down the stairs as I tried to rethink my life.

I want him in my life. I don't care if he's handsome. I don't care if he dangerous to me. I don't care if he's the most wanted... I want him with me.
I don't think I could handle him being with another woman... What the hell is wrong with me?!

Busting through the kitchen doors everyone stopped what they were doing to look at me, I could hear the main chef yelling at me in Italian but I didn't care. Without making eye contact with anyone I opened the fridge to get out a water bottle and exited without saying a word. 

As I exited the dining room the front doors open, causing me to stop in my tracks as I opened the water bottle. Seeing Lorenzo steeping in and walking up the stairs I noticed that this clothes were a little ruffled up as if he were in a fight of some sorts. After that two other guys walked in, one of them being Nicolo and the other I believe was Angelo. 

Last but not least Luciano walked through. As he closed the door he noticed me from the corner of his eye.

For some reason I couldn't stop staring at him, specifically his tattoos. His sleeves were rolled up exposing them along with his muscles. He looked good. He may not show many emotions and acts all tough and scary but deep down I knew he was exhausted from today. 

I don't know what came over me, I had this strong urge that I couldn't explain. I couldn't push my emotions down, hide them away. The flashbacks from last night replayed one last time as I just admired him. 
Dropping the slightly closed water bottle onto the floor I walked towards him, keeping eye contact as I got closer to him. His eyes, just beautiful. His body, perfectly sculpted. He was just amazing. I don't care anymore. What my parents taught me wasn't anything, it just kept me from who I was, I wasn't able to explore with myself but now I can and I'm not letting it happen again. 

Standing right infront of him I lift up my arms, my shirt lifting up slightly exposing my stomach and shorts. Wrapping my arms softly around his neck I looked into those beautiful dark gray eyes. I could feel his arms snake around my waste, bringing my torso closer to him. His body was warm. His scent was amazing, I could smell it everyday and never get tired of it.

"Io ricordo..." Translation: I remember...

Softly biting my lip I noticed his eyes sparkle slightly, a small smile could be seen forming as he looked down at me. He was tired but I knew, deep down he was enjoying this moment.

'Do it..."

Letting out a soft breathe I build up my courage. Standing on my tippy toes I leaned in towards his lips. Closing my eyes I let my lip graze against his, wondering if he would want to kiss me back. Without wasting a second Luciano makes the final connection. His soft lips against mine as we slowly moved against our rhythm. Passionate. As my first kiss I wasn't expecting sparkles as if it were the most majestic thing to ever happen. What I did feel was a blessing, a relief, just pure relief along with relaxation. 

It felt right.

I wanted to take it to the next lever, I wanted to explore with myself and him but I knew I wasn't ready for this. Especially after last night. He wants me to be okay with it. He wants me to be ready because he wants to love me. In order for me to do that I must tell myself when.

"Please sleep with me tonight." I quietly asked as I lead my head against his chest, I was emotionally and mentally drained from today. I'm standing up for what I want now. It's a battle that I won after years and it's okay. Now I get the chance to make that happen and I'm not letting it slip away. I have him and in my own time I will want him even more.

______

I don't feel accomplished with this chapter :(