41. Notebook

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"I need you to understand that I have these feelings for you but I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared that we'll hurt each other and then we'll still be stuck with each other." Yoongi said. "If things don't work out then we'll have to still be around each other even when one of us is with someone else." Yoongi cringed shaking his head looking down at the notebook with a sigh. He looked back into the mirror, his reflecting staring right back.

He was trying to figure out what he should say when he finally grows a pair and decides to talk with Jimin. He wanted to be prepared and know exactly what he wanted to say but the task was significantly harder than he had expected.

Everything he wanted to say sounded to melodramatic. He sounded like one of those actors in a drama. That was the last thing he wanted at the moment. The more he tried the more it began to feel like a script.

"This is so stupid." He mumbled tossing the notebook on his bed. He was home alone since his parents were on a trip and Jimin had taken Suji out to shop.

Jimin had recently got a job and wanted to spend the first pay check he had got on his baby. Yoongi too had a job but he only worked three out of the seven days since Suji was still little and wanted to be home as much as possible with her. He planned to start working more after graduation which was in a couple days. Due to this he didn't have that much money to spend but thankfully his parents were more than willing to help him when he was short. Jimin getting a job was definitely gonna help a lot with the baby's expenses.

The baby was four months old now. She babbled a lot and recently started laughing. Ever since she discovered how to laugh she'd do it quite often. All Yoongi had to do to emit the sound from his daughter was stuck his tongue out and she'd be a mess of little giggles. Sometimes all Yoongi had to do was look at her and she's burst out laughing. It was adorable and it quickly became his favorite sound.

Suji in general was Yoongi's favorite person. He felt an unconditional love for her that he'd never be able to put in words. She motivated him to try and be something in life because he wanted to be someone she could look up to.

"Hello, we're home." Jimin announced walking into the room with two big bags in one hand and the car seat in the other.

Yoongi stood up grabbing the car seat from his hand placing it on the bed. He peaked inside seeing Suji wide awake staring back at him with wide eyes. "Hi princess." He cooed taking her out. She squealed in delight as she was lifted up into her father's arms.

"I got her a couple little outfits, some toys, and diapers because I noticed you were running kind of low." Jimin said taking everything out of the bags to show Yoongi.

Yoongi took notice of all the outfits. Jimin had bought all kinds of dresses, skirts and onesies. They all had little designs like flowers and heart on them. It was quite different to the clothes Yoongi usually dressed her in. The older tended to buy her clothing with animals like bears, foxes, and dinosaurs on them. He also enjoyed getting her clothes from sports teams or brands like adidas and nike. His favorite outfit to put her in was a bulls jersey that was a little too big on her and some leggings.

"That's cute." Yoongi mumbled picking up a onesie with black and white clouds that was way to big for her but would probably fit in a couple months.

"I thought you'd like that one." Jimin mumbled folding the clothes up.

"Oh you're gonna look so cute and all these clothes. Mama has good fashion sense huh?" He cooed at the baby who stared back at him before shoving her fist in her mouth.

"Hey Yoongi?"Jimin asked confusion in his voice. The boy hummed in reply. "What's this?"

"What's what?" Yoongi asked still not looking up from his daughter.

"I need you to understand that-" Yoongi snapped his head up looking at Jimin holding the notebook that he had stupidly left laying on the bed wide open. "Don't read that!" He shouted. Jimin didn't listen to him as he continued to read out loud. The older rushed to place Suji down in her car seat before trying to snatch the notebook out of the youngers hands.

It was too late by then Jimin had already figured out what the paper was. He stared at Yoongi with furrowed eyebrows. "You want us to try?"

Yoongi turned a bright shade of red from embarrassment. "I-I," he stuttered our not knowing to say. He knew he would eventually tell him everything that was written on the paper but he didn't think it would be today.

Jimin stood there watching, analyzing, Yoongi reaction. Once he realized the older wouldn't say something he slowly walked towards him. He reached out placing his hand on his cheek. "I want to try too." He whispered leaning his forehead against the male's. "But I'm scared too."

"I think we both need to think about this more. We need to trust we'll be able to coparent no matter what happens." Yoongi said pulling away from the Jimin.

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