Chapter Twenty

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"Nia I swear to God if you don't open this door right now I will break it down." Kendi threatened from the other side of the door.

Mental eye roll. Like she could break it down.

I groaned out loud and tossed the mountain of covers away from my body. I hadn't been outside of my sisters house for the past two or was it three weeks. Thanks to home deliveries the furthest I ever had to walk was to the door to grab my orders, pay then back to my safe haven to hide from the rest of the world.

I threw my legs off the bed and they hit the many bottles of vodka and wine littered on the floor. Oh yeah I had been drinking myself stupid too. Looks like little miss sundress was right. Just thinking about her made my blood start to boil.

I bet she was smooching on my man right now in my absence. But was he still my man? I mean I hadn't talked to him ever since I ran away like a coward.

"Niaa!!!!" Kendi shouted again banging in the door.

Oh yeah I was supposed to open that. I got up too quick and had to sit back down for a second because I got a dizzy. I was still drunk because my vision was a little blurry and I could taste the vodka in my mouth. What time is it? Feeling much better I got up slowly from the bed and walked across the room as candy wrappers and empty crisps bags crunched under my feet. What a mess I had made? I was always such a neat freak. What happened? I remember now, Gabriel happened.

"Hey siz."I greeted a fuming Kendi as I leaned against the door for support. I could barely stand on my own.

Through my half lifted eyes I took in Kendi's look. Kendi was the same height as me 5'5 with brown eyes and dark beautiful skin. She was dressed in vintage high waisted pants and a long sleeved floral blouse and black flats to complete the look. Her hair was in braids which am sure she did herself. She had her glasses on and her face was make up free except for red lipstick. She made the look that would otherwise made you look like a grandma look chiq and stylish. It is her job to make clothes look good anyway.

"Don't you hey siz me. We've been worried sick about you for the last one month locking yourself in here and moping around. Have you even showered in that period or cleaned the room? Look at yourself Nia, what happened to you?" She ranted out and I almost felt bad. Key word almost.

None of them had a right to judge me. What was she doing here anyway? Last I checked I was at Zawadi's place. Wait a minute did she just say a month?

"I've been here for a whole fucking month?!" I exclaimed my voice coming out a little raspy for not being used for long.

"Yeah and you would know that if you turned on your phone or watched the news instead of movies all day." She replied glaring behind me at the disaster if a room I had in there.

"What do you want Kendi? What are you doing here?" I asked her wanting her to leave already so I could go back to moping. I was getting good at that.

"What I want is for you to take a shower and get out of this room. Zawadi and I need to talk to you." She replied.

"But I don't want to talk to you or her." I retorted feeling exhausted.

This is the most I've talked in a whole month.

"Well tough luck miss. I wasn't asking now go take a shower and meet me in the kitchen in twenty minutes. You know on second thought take forty minutes and clean up good." She demanded and before I could reply and refuse her demands she walked away.

I groaned out loud before turning back and closing the door behind me. Not in the mood for and argument I decided to do as she said and clean up the room too. It was starting to smell so the first thing I did was draw the curtains and open the windows to let in sunlight and fresh air. It was afternoon based on the amount of sunlight that hit the room once I the curtains were drawn. I grabbed a trash bag from one of the drawers and started picking up trash that way everywhere. So many empty alcohol bottles. Damn I went all out this time. There were also empty pizza boxes and kfc buckets. At least I ate because everyone knows its not good to drink on an empty stomach.

I remember when I got here a month ago, as I've recently learnt that's how long I've been here, I turned off my phone and threw it in the furthest corner under the bed where I couldn't reach it without struggle. Being drunk all the time meant I had no energy to get it. Eating, drinking and binge watching movies had been my life for the last month.

All this because of a stupid boy who couldn't hold his horses and had to fall in love and consider proposing to me. Each time I thought about that moment I just got angry and angrier till I couldn't be mad anymore. Then I got sad and cried because I missed him so much. I hadn't just lost Gabriel I had lost all my friends too. I had cried so much in the past few weeks. It hurt losing everyone I cared about in one single moment.

The only thing I was grateful for is that I was done with studying so I could mope around without thinking about the consequences of missing classes or failing my exams.

When I was done cleaning up to the best of my ability I got out of the sticky and dirty clothes I was wearing and entered the bathroom. I turned on the shower and stood under the stream as the water heated. I really was slacking off considering how long my armpit hair had grown. This was gonna take a while I thought as I grabbed a shaver from the shelf and got down to business.

Zawadi lived very luxuriously in a three bedroom apartment in the most prestigious parts of the city. I wonder what she needed all this space for yet she was rarely here and lived all alone. I had only heard her twice in the time I had been here and she was only here to grab a change of clothes. I hadn't even seen her because all she did was knock on my door and my grunts were enough proof that I was alive before she left again. What a caring sister? Get the sarcasm.

Kendi on the other hand was a whole other level. I wonder why she hadn't been around much sooner. She was going to smother me with food and hugs as if that would fix all my boy problems.

Boy problems. Fuck it. This is why I didn't do relationships. All they did was bring fucking problems and heartbreak. Why couldn't I just have fucked him and walked away? That was just stupid talk because I knew there was no I could have walked away from Gabriel any earlier. Besides the fact that he was a saint who treated me like a queen, the sex was also pretty amazing. Good enough for me to keep fucking the same guy for three months. That was big talk for someone who had sex with a different guy ever other week. Damn you Gabriel for changing my life for the better then ruining it all over again with your stupid idea of proposing. I mean couldn't he have talked to me about it first. I would have talked him down like I did the other time when we talked about our futures. Well his loss because I ain't ready to be tied down to one man. I was still young. I had barely began my career yet let alone graduated and he wanted to be engaged. He hadn't even confessed his feelings yet.

This was all too much and that's why I needed alcohol. Too bad there wasn't any left. Maybe Zawadi had some around the house. With that though I quickly rinsed off and turned off the shower before getting out. Drying my hair with the blow drier I tied it off with a hair tie. I brushed my teeth and applied lotion to my skin. I really had let myself go. Walking back to the room I opened a drawer which had a few of my clothes from the last time I slept here. I put on clean underwear before wearing a oversized T-shirt and fuzzy socks. If you hadn't already noticed, these was my comfort outfit.

Deciding I was ready to face my sisters I walked out of the room and towards the kitchen. It was pretty much as luxurious as the rest of the house with tiled counter tops, state of the art appliances that were barely used and wooden cabinets to complete the look. It was pretty dope if you ask me.

"Look who has decided to join the world of the living." Zawadi teased.

She was seated on a stool besides the kitchen counter dressed in an official body hugging dress that shaped her figure perfectly. She was a little taller than me at 5'7 or 5'8,not really sure.

I walked up to her and gave her a much needed hug by the both of us.

Zawadi had a light skin tone as compared to me and Kendi who rocked the dark world. We sometimes teased her that she was adopted and she replied by saying that if she was adopted she would have already found out. That's how good of a lawyer she was.

I pulled away and sat on the stool besides her. Kendi was wearing and apron and cooking what I presumed was a late lunch. Good because honestly I was starving.

"Hey Zawadi." I greeted looking at her with a small smile.

"Hey hoarder. How you been enjoying my place for the past one month?" She teased and I chuckled.

"It was okay. Could have used some allowance though." I suggested with a cheeky grin.

"Yeah so you could get even more drunk." Kendi said giving me the stink eye and I looked away my smile falling immediately.

I hated disappointing my sisters but I was going through a tough time and they were both busy so I turned to my best friend. Alcohol. We have been through some tough times together.

"So who is Gabriel?" Zawadi asked and I looked at her with my eyes wide open.

"How did you know that name?" I whispered looking around the room.

Was he here?

"Relax he's not here." She replied looking at my alarmed face. "But seeing that reaction means he's the reason why you're turning to a drunk." She accused and I looked down ashamed. I was such a failure.

"Where did you hear about him?" I asked.

"I should have heard it from you but after a few very persistent calls to my office he came by a few days ago. I wasn't there but we did talk on the phone and he sounded very desperate to find you. I didn't tell him where you were even after all the begging he did but I did assure him you were okay." She explained.

My heart broke all over again hearing the lengths at which Gabriel went to search for me. I thought he'd have given up by now having hated me for completely shutting him out. Had I done the right thing by running away? For me maybe but what about for him.

"Last we talked you guys were in a very good place so what happened Nia?" Kendi asked.

She turned off the cooker and sat across from me giving me her undivided attention. Looks like it was time to come clean.

"He wanted to propose so I ran way like a coward." I said summing it up hoping it would be enough.

Knowing them it wasn't going to be and I was right.

"What?" Both of them asked simultaneously.

"Start from the beginning. I want to know all the details and facts." Zawadi demanded and I knew I couldn't escape this. She would drill it out of me like in of her clients. Better avoid all that and do it voluntarily.

So taking a deep breath and getting comfortable I told my sisters everything that happened between Gabriel and me since we met. I skipped all the glory details though. I don't need my sisters knowing about my sex life.

"That is a lot." Zawadi commented as soon as I was done.

"You kidding? It's amazing. Why did you runaway you coward. If it was me I would have said yes." Kendi exclaimed looking lost in her own fantasy world.

Did I forget to mention that Kendi is a romantic at heart? She believed in love and happily ever after. Too bad she had shitty relationships though because all people ever saw was her fame and not her.

"She doesn't believe in love remember." Zawadi said and I nodded.

Zawadi on the other hand did believe in love and whatnot but had not time for it. She was too career oriented to make time for a man in her life.

"What are you going to do now?" Kendi asked getting out of her daze.

"I don't know." I replied honestly.

"You're internship starts in two weeks and you have to get ready for that. You also need to clear out your old apartment and start looking for a new one close to where you'll be working." Zawadi reminded me.

I groaned"Shit I almost forgot about all that."

She was so right. In my hurt filled head I had forgotten all about my internship. I had to move places which meant going back for my things. On God. What if he was still there? But he couldn't be. He had his residency too and he couldn't stay there forever.

"Kendi..." I called her name softly giving her a sweet smile.

"I know what that look means and before you ask I already got you a place. It's bigger than your last one and its two bedroom. The master bedroom even has a bathtub." She replied and I grinned wildly.

"That's why I love you. You're the best. Now it only leaves the moving out part."

"Count me out. I'm traveling again for work tomorrow and ill be gone for a while." Zawadi said excusing herself.

"As much as I love moving and packing up stuff I can't help you move out. I can help you get settled in though."Kendi offered before going back to her food and she started serving it up.

"Thanks for bailing on me you guys but it's fine I'll handle it." I replied defeated that none of them were willing to help me.

"I have one question or two depending on how you answer the first." Zawadi asked and I nodded for her to go ahead and ask. "Do have feelings for this Gabriel guy?" She asked and I didn't have to even think about it.

"Yes I do." I replied honestly.

"Then this is my second question. Why did you reject the guy if you have feelings for him? From what you've told us he seems to be a pretty good person. He is any woman's dream come true." She asked.

I had been asking myself the same question so I gave the only answer I had come up with.

"Because am scared." I replied and thankfully she didn't ask anything else and neither did Kendi.

I don't think I could offer anything more than that.

"Lunch is served." Kendi said breaking the silence as she served lunch.

"Why are we having breakfast for lunch?" I asked looking at my plate.

There were sausages, toast, eggs, bacon and fried tomatoes.

"Because it's all I could find seeing as Zawadi is never here to do shopping and all you eat is take out. Am surprised you haven't gained weight." She replied as she sat to eat.

"It's all in the genes siz, all in the genes." I replied with a wink before digging in.

We didn't speak of my failed attempt at a relationship again and I was thankful for that. Kendi told us that she had been working with a major client the past few months that's why she wasn't able to come around sooner. I told her it was okay because I got to be alone a lot longer.

Spending the rest of the day with my sisters was amazing and distracting which I was grateful for. I had been alone too long and was tired of my own thoughts. They didn't judge me either because they knew I was old enough to make my own decisions regarding my life and who I wanted to spend it with. That to me was everything I could ever ask from them. Their understanding.

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