^If you're wondering what an action novel by me would be like, then check out my action novel "A Different Sort of Lunch Date." Yay for shameless self-promotion! XD

*Lovely cover by DoceMary

Misery Loves Company

By: theinkslingerr

Track 14: Episode I (Attack of the Trolls)

Two million views?!

I blinked rapidly at the computer screen, unable to keep my jaw from hitting the keyboard.

Two million views was a lot of freaking views.

Two million views was something even Ernesto had failed to acquire.

Sometime last year one of Enid's videos hit a million views because she'd stuck two balled up socks down her pants and dropped her voice a couple octaves.

This happened because frenemy and fellow Youtuber, ContourCammie bet Enid that if they were reincarnated as guys she'd be way hotter.

The internet went wild, with both Enid and Cammie's fans arguing over who was prettier, had the better videos, and could rock facial hair.

It was a bizarre cold war that came to a head when Enid and Cammie surprised their fans by teaming up and filming a video where they used special effects make-up and...er...props to transform into men. Enid named her male alter-ego Ernesto, and the video blew up, getting both girls new subscribers, and Enid her first million views.

Since then, three things remained semi-consistent: Enid's videos hitting a million views, appearances from Ernesto, and private messages from lesbians and gay guys interested in dating Enid.

I'd already thought that a million people watching you online meant you'd made it big, so I got comfortable with that number. I got used to it, and it pretty much stayed the same, so I never dreamed of more. But apparently Enid had, and this was just the beginning.

I shook my head, not knowing whether to be scared or impressed by Enid's business savvy and determination.

"Here we go..." I whispered to myself before hitting play on the video that would probably change my life forever.

I was expecting "cringe-worthy," but even that turned out to be an understatement.

The fact that I was uncomfortable was obvious in the quiet way I spoke, generally avoided the cameras, and slouched in my seat. I looked so afraid, people probably thought my family was tied up off-screen with a gun pointed at them.

I guess if I weren't me, the web show would've been pretty funny- even the awkward bits. For example, you could totally see my eyes widen when Jae was about to say "We're here to have some fun with Misery," and Rocco's mild irritation when he interrupted him. Every action seemed raw on film, exposed.

The truly horrible part was when Enid asked what my parents were high on when they decided to name me "Misery." I hit rewind just to see it again, because I couldn't believe my eyes! They were supposed to edit that out! I could still picture Enid's rueful expression when she told me.

So much for that.

In the scene right after, my eyes were visibly red, and I was sure the viewers wouldn't have a hard time guessing why.

I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, trying to squash the panic blooming inside of me. I couldn't get used to myself onscreen! And if I could see the pores, and the dark circles under my eyes then that meant the viewers could too! I continued to pick myself apart, cringing all the way through my little speech about make-up versus no make-up, and how women should be able to do whatever they wanted. Did I really sound that preachy? People had to be rolling their eyes.

As soon as Enid announced Blue Vendetta's new single, the video ended. The smart thing to do would've been to shut down my laptop and go to sleep. Instead, I stared at the screen, fingers itching to scroll down and read the comments.

They'll break you, a little voice in my head warned.

Maybe I deserved to be.

I scrolled down and started reading:

acousticprincess1: 1. OMG!!! new single! finally! 2. who names their kid Misery? is that even legal?

musicislife72's reply to acousticprincess1: there are kids running around 'merica named "adolf hitler" and "joycelynn aryan nation," so...prolly.

the_main_event's reply to acousticprincess1: anything goes, man. i think jersey's the only state that bans names with curse words, numbers & symbols. who cares! safety in numbers is gonna be dopeeeeeee

invertedpyramids101: Pretty obvious they're doing all this to make up for that heinous train wreck in Boston. Dominic needs rehab not a reality show.

BforVendetta: i dunno guys, i feel bad for her. imagine going through life with a name like Misery?!

bluevenfan97's reply to BforVendetta: you shouldn't feel bad for ugly people

mrschinomoreno45's reply to bluevenfan97: Trollllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

blackstallion88's reply to bluevenfan97: what? she's adorable! and really pretty with make-up!

BradLuvsBlueVendettaInANotGayWay's reply to bluevenfan97: I'd totally smash!!! since I'm not gay. at all.

vinylissuperior's reply to BradLuvsBlueVendettaInANotGayWay: sure Brad, sure.

iwannabeElisbass: she's lookin too comfy with Eli. anyone know where she lives? I just wanna talk...

iluvdom's reply to iwannabeElisbass: when you find out, lemme know! That whore's basically got Dom's fingers down her throat!

concerthopper91's reply to iluvdom: I don't think she wanted them there! Poor thing looks like she's about to cry!

MisterCoolBeans: nice rack tho

ultimatefighter555: she probably let them all pound her after

feminist_to_my_core's reply to ultimatefighter555: your parents did a real good job with you. congrats- you're disgusting.

vendettahead66: SAFETY IN NUMBERSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

BenedictCumberbae: Enid mentioned that Misery's been helping her with her videos this whole time. Why're we just finding out about this now?

anon302's reply to BenedictCumberbae: whatev. she seems like the type of loser that'd want to stay behind the scenes. freakin gargoyle.

EnidsConcubine's reply to anon302: exactly. just look at her. she's probably jealous of Enid.

MrsAlden2001: STAY AWAY FROM ROCCO YOU UGLY GUTTER SKANK

BvendettaUK: Her whole speech about make up was vomit-inducing. Daft cow clearly needs some concealer in her daily life.

BlueInBrasil: hmmm...to me Enid acting like malvado :-/ sorry, my english not good

Sra.Ronaldo's reply to BlueInBrasil: exatamente! i get u. it was very mean of Enid to ask Misery that about her parents. on the other hand, Misery should never travel to any Portugese-speaking countries. people will simply not understand.

sportyaussie12's reply to Sra.Ronaldo: people won't understand that kind of name anywhere.

jaeshinsbabymomma: I feel like Jae's gonna win this date and I don't know whether to be happy or sad about it...

finnsgirl99: voted for Dom!

theflyonroccoswall: what if Rocco somehow wins, guys?

vendettaintokyo: results will come out 10 post meridiem time?

p0wersurge's reply to vendettaintokyo: 10PM is when the voting stops, but they won't reveal the winner of the date until the next episode airs on Friday.

justagirlandherguitar90: I actually feel really bad for Misery. She seems sweet.

j.paolijenner's reply to justagirlandherguitar90: sweet? I go to school with her and she is anything but! you wanna know what she did to this new student for just trying to say hi? she poured her milk on him in front of everyone in the cafeteria! don't let the wounded puppy act fool you- she deserves that name.

I slammed my laptop shut so hard for a second I thought I broke it.

It wasn't enough that Jessica tortured me in school, and it wasn't enough that she'd been given a hundred hours to inflict more pain. She had to go on the internet to make sure I was hated there as well.

I didn't have thick skin like Enid so every nasty word felt like a nail being driven into my heart with Jessica's testimonial delivering the final blow. There'd been no point in scrolling down after that. Everyone believed what they read on the internet.

To them I was a: Cow. Gargoyle. Jealous whore. Ugly gutter skank. The cruel names echoed in my head as if they'd been shouted in my face, crowding out the few kind comments I'd spotted.

I put my laptop on the coffee table and lay back to stare at the ceiling. I thought I was all cried out, but tears pooled at the corners of my eyes and slid into my hair.

I'd give anything to be invisible again...

That thought grew and grew, filling the empty house until I fell asleep.

When I woke up the following morning, it was to loud banging at my front door.

"OK, this has gotta stop," I grumbled around a yawn. So far every bad thing that had happened started with someone knocking on my door.

I threw off the covers, and dragged myself over to answer it, rubbing eyes that were partially glued shut by dry, crusty tears. I hesitated for a moment before opening the door.

Enid was standing there with a strange look on her face. She rushed past me and looked around like she was waiting for someone to come out of hiding.

"What're you doing?" I was confused, not to mention still groggy.

She turned sharply, voice hollow when she said. "I bet you're happy."

"Why would I be?"

"Dom won."

~~~

Author's notes: A few of you guessed it, and a few of you didn't. ;) If you go back and read #BlueVendettaDoesMyMakeUp (Part II) it's no secret that Jae did the better job. So why do you think Dom won?

And why do you think Enid was looking around Misery's living room like that?

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading the "comments" on the video as much as I enjoyed writing them. You'll recognize a lot of the usernames from the "Boston" chapter when Misery reads the comments under the video of Dom drunk on stage. I made the band some loyal fans haha. A lot of them said harsh things (because people would in real life) but a few of them are already catching on to what kind of person Enid is.

If you enjoyed this chapter please COMMENT & VOTE. They motivate me to update faster. ;)