When the world falls into pieces
You'll be the one voice of reason
When I can't face all my demons
You are the one I believe in

17 : Queen of Hearts (edited)

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," Catherine whispered, tapping the map with the tip of her wand. Scribblings appearing on the map, Catherine took in the way the beautiful sketch of the school took place, as well as the tiny footprints that unfurled.

Remus chuckled at her reaction. "You've seen this how many bloody times, but you still look so amazed."

Catherine nodded at him. "I can't help it. The lot of you are such geniuses."

Remus smirked down at her. "Thank you, I shall take that massive compliment. Sirius doesn't like rules. James thinks he can do anything. I think I'm the genius."

This caused Catherine to laugh, the sides of her eyes crinkling. "And Peter?"

Remus pursed his lips. "He brings us snacks and encouragement?"

The pair shared an agreeing nod before continuing to walk along the dark and dimly lit corridor, their wands being the only source of light. Earlier that day, Remus had been dared by Sirius to sneak into the Slytherin common room and hang up all the photos Creevey took of Snape with voluminous hair. Remus asked Catherine if she could accompany him since she's been in the Slytherin common room before.

"Why didn't you borrow Prongs's cloak?" Catherine asked Remus as they caught sight of the dungeons and approached it.

Remus smirked at her and retorted, "Why didn't you?"

Catherine felt herself flush as she remembered how close she and James had been during the past days and her current feelings for him. She didn't want to tell Remus anything, despite him being an incredible friend. She didn't want to risk James knowing of her unrequited feelings she'd discovered on New Year's Eve. "It's complicated," she muttered under her breath before picking up the pace.

Remus chuckled behind her, shaking his head as he came in front of the doors and whispered the password. The door swung open and the duo stuffed their wands back in their pockets before heading inside the cold room.

Shivering slightly, Catherine grabbed hold of her magical bag upon entering the common room. Remus used his wand as he flicked his wrist, copies of moving pictures began soaring out of Catherine's bag and plastering themselves against the wall, ceiling to floor.

Remus's lips twitched at the images before he reached over to grab Catherine and tug her outside the common room.

Finally, they were out of the Slytherin's room as they guffawed and laughed freely. "I can't wait to see the greasy monkey's face tomorrow!" Catherine snickered, holding her sides as she wiped a tear off the corner of her eye.

"Same here," Remus said after catching his breath. Suddenly, his face morphed into one of seriousness as he held a hand up to Catherine. "Do you hear something?" he spoke in a hushed tone.

Catherine's laugh diminished as she strained her ears to listen. Very faintly, footsteps could be heard walking from a distance. Her head snapped up to meet Remus's eyes as she snatched the Map from the back of her jeans. Quickly unfurling it after saying the opening words, she saw a pair of footprints making its way to them. She felt panic fill her upon seeing who they belong to: Filch.

"Quick, that way!" she whispered harshly, pointing at the corridor to their right frantically as she struggled to stuff the Map at the back of her jeans.

"Come on," Remus said, gripping her upper arm and tugging her to run faster, causing her to drop the parchment with a gasp.

Catherine turned in the boy's grasp, her eyes falling on the Map. "Fuck, I dropped the Map!"

"Never mind that," Remus said lowly and pulled her harder this time as he brought the two of them in the nearest classroom. They were breathing heavily, pressed against the wall in the dark as they listened out to Filch.

"I know you're there, poppets!"

Catherine cringed, crossing her fingers behind her back as she peeked out the door as discreetly as she could to see the man trudge down the hallway with a lamp.

"Well, well. What's this?" He snickered darkly as he bent over to pick up the Map which thankfully was blank. Filch scrunched his nose at the empty piece of paper before stuffing it anyway in his pockets. "I'll find you, little mischiefs. Just you wait." With that said, he continued down the corridor with that horrid cat of his by his feet.

"Fuck." Catherine sighed out, resting the back of her head against the wall as she closed her eyes. "Sorry, Moony. I didn't even have the chance to Accio it."

Remus chuckled quietly, reaching out to give her hand a squeeze. "Hey, that's all right. What matters is we got to use it and we all had fun, didn't we?"

Catherine opened her eyes to flash the boy a grin. "Yeah, I guess we did."

Remus slipped out of the door, nodding his head at Catherine. "Come on, you best get some sleep. You wouldn't want to miss Snivellus throwing a fit tomorrow, now would you?"

Catherine laughed, following him to the direction of the common room as she nodded. "Yeah, that sounds brilliant." She stopped walking for a moment, reaching up to loop her arms around Remus's neck. "Thank you, Remus. For being a great friend."

Remus smiled gently, wounding his strong arms around her waist and pulling her closer. "Anything for you, Cathy. You know that."

Catherine laughed lightly, pulling back as her gaze landed on the boy's scarred face. Slowly reaching up, she tenderly traced a particularly long scar, making Remus turn beet red. "Don't ever let this stop you from doing what you love to do." She smiled once more before departing away from him to slip in the common room and head up to the dormitories.

Unknowingly, she had changed someone's life greatly that night. She had convinced the quiet and scarred boy that outside appearance do not define who you are inside.

««•»»

"Valentine!" Snape's familiar voice growled from somewhere behind Catherine. She had just came from the dormitories, having woken up a bit late, and was rushing to the Great Hall for breakfast. She had reached the middle of a long corridor when the greasy haired monkey appeared behind her.

Catherine spun on her heel, catching sight of the furious Slytherin. "Saw the pictures from our pal Remmy, did you?"

However, as soon as the last word had left her lips, a gasp escaped her as Snape pinned her against the wall. His forearm was pressed against her throat, nearly crushing her windpipe.

"Snape," Catherine choked out, fear flashing in her jade green eyes as she desperately clawed at his arm.

"I hate you, Catherine Valentine. I wish you were never born." A completely vicious look crossed his face, filling Catherine with dread.

She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think. All that flashed in her mind was that she could die. She was losing air now as she whispered, "We're sorry, Snape—" she cut herself off, seeing black spots dance across her vision. She was so sleepy and she just wanted to close her eyes and give in, when suddenly, Snape was ripped off of her.

Slumping against the wall and sinking to her knees, Catherine sucked in as much air her greedy lungs demanded, a cough racking her body painfully. Gently touching her sore throat, she looked to see Snape being thrown against the other wall as a familiar voice mused with dark humor, "Careful, Snivellus. It almost looks like you're asking for a death wish."

James turned away from the Slytherin boy to crouch in front of Catherine, his eyes immediately softening while his heart was silently breaking. He cursed himself mentally over how he should've came looking for her earlier. "Valentine," his voice cracked a bit but he didn't care. Without another word, he wrapped his arms around her shaking body and brought her head to his chest.

"Catherine, I — " Snape started in a nearly inaudible tone, only to have James flash him a silencing glare.

   "Go away, Snape."

"But, I didn't mean to —"

"Accidentally choke the life out of someone?" James finished Snape's sentence as he chuckled bitterly and humorlessly.

Quietly, Snape decided to take a step away from them, knowing that this time, he's done something absolutely terrible. And if it wasn't for James Potter — he would've committed murder.

"Potter," Catherine hiccuped, bringing her arms around his neck as she cried.

James immediately tightened his hold on her, shutting his eyes tight as though he couldn't dare recall what he had witnessed. "Ssh," he cooed gently, running his fingers soothingly through her hair. "I'm here, don't worry." He buried his nose in the crook of her neck, taking a deep inhale of her scent which instantly filled him warmth. "I've got you, Valentine."

"I—I was so scared, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't think, the fact I had a wand or had Merlin's powers didn't even cross my mind." Catherine gritted her teeth, pain blossoming in her chest. Self-loathing consuming her because no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't bring herself to defend her own self from Snape. "I didn't want to die," she whispered.

"Hey, stop — don't beat yourself up," James comforted her. "You don't have to explain, I understand. It's all right." He slowly detached himself from Catherine to look at her, his hands on either sides of her face, cupping her cheeks delicately. He gave her a wry smile, his eyes looking right through hers as though he could see past them. He brushed off the tears that slipped from her eyes with the pads of his thumbs.

Catherine could barely hear anything with how hard her heart was beating — from what she had just experienced, from all the crying, and especially from the way James was looking at her. She reached up to place her hands over his, giving him an uneasy smile as though she was trying to convince him that she was all right now.

But James knew better.

"You know I've always got your back, Valentine," he whispered softly, leaning forward to rest his forehead on hers, their noses brushing. "I'm right here with you."

James leaned over and pressed his mouth on hers, savoring the way she tasted. He took his time as he kissed her, not wanting to rush it. Unlike their heated and passionate first kiss, this one was slow, igniting fire all over his skin as he held her against him.

     You're safe, his kiss told her.

     You'll be safe here.

Suddenly, Catherine pulled away, her eyebrows knitted together as she struggled to speak, as though it pained her to say it.

"What is it," James murmured, the color still high on his cheeks.

"I—" Catherine hesitated, knowing it was wrong of her to do this. It wasn't fair to her, to James, and to Lily. "I'm sorry, I can't do this. You should go to Lily."

The name felt like a slap to James as a look of utter surprise crossed his face. Lily? Why the bloody hell would Catherine mention her when he was there, kissing her. "W—What? Valentine, I don't think—"

Catherine shook her head vigorously, standing up abruptly and nearly getting a head rush. "Please, James, it's hard enough as it already is. Don't make this anymore difficult."

"I don't understand—?" James started, getting to his feet as well.

Catherine forced out a laugh, it sounded completely unnatural and it made her want to cringe. "You love Lily. You were just confused and caught in the moment. You don't feel anything for me, so please don't . . . don't kiss me again." She hated how much it pained her to say those words, but it didn't give her much choice.

She didn't want to get hurt seeing the boy she loves and her best friend fall in love with each other.

She'd choose Lily's happiness over her own any day.

James felt dizzy, the feeling of being punched to the gut with a metal arm probably couldn't explain the immense pain he was experience at this moment. He felt like he couldn't breathe, he didn't understand anything anymore. He didn't even have the time to give her his response because Catherine had turned around and ran all the way back to the common room, leaving James and his thoughts.

««•»»

"I thought Potter would miss out tutor sessions earlier," came Lily's voice as she entered the dorm room that night. She flashed a look at Catherine whose body was half under the covers, playing with the ring on her finger. Lily smiled at her. "Alright, Cathy?"

Catherine hummed back in response, pretending nothing was wrong and that the sound of his name didn't affect her at all.

Lily didn't believe her, knowing that Catherine was truly hurting deep inside. She sat on the edge of the dark haired girl's bed, reaching over to gently stroke her hair. "You don't have to tell me," Lily told her as Catherine listened, "but whatever you're going through, know that I'm here for you."

Catherine's insides wreaked havoc, she wanted to tell her everything but she knew she couldn't. Instead, she looked straight into her eyes as she held one of Lily's hands. "I love you, Lils. You have no idea how much you mean to me."

Lily returned the smile before glancing at the ring on Catherine's hands, giving her a small smirk. "You really love him, don't you?"

Catherine closed her eyes for a moment, feeling a sense of déjà vu when Lily had asked her that same question before. She had answered it sarcastically, rolling her eyes afterwards as though the mere thought of having feelings for the boy was absurd and ludicrous.

But now, she answered with the truth. Unable to comprehend how was it possible to have such strong emotions for James Potter, the boy who was painstakingly handsome and breathtakingly kind and all things wonderful to her, his flaws being the thread that stitched him up to who he is.

She opened her eyes and said, "Yes, I suppose I really do love him."

A/N 

P H E W

Soooo what do you think of Jathy? Please don't hate me I swear this is not the end of it XD

So leave a comment below on what you thought of this chapter!

Teaser: Chapter 18: Real World