44th Chapter

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

"Attention! His Imperial Majesty Sultan Murad Khan Hazretleri!" ennuch on the doors of my chambers yelled as we were awaiting for him there.

Gevherhan, Atike, Ahmed, Safiye and I were standing there waiting for him after long six months of war. But thankfully, Murad and his brave army won the war against the Russians and have bring victory to Ottoman Empire.

" Gevherhan, sister! I missed you so much!" Murad said as Gevherhan kissed his hand when he came, because she was the first one in line.

" I prayed for your health, I am grateful that you are here again and I want to congradulate you on your brave victory!" Gevherhan said happily to Murad, which continued to Atike which kissed his hand.

" Thank God you returned, Hunkarim. It was hard here without you, but once again you proved your glorious and magnificent skills!" Atike said and smiled to him.

Murad came closer to me and gave me most beautiful smile I have ever seen. I went to kiss his hand, but he just hugged me instead.

" My Mihrişah, you saved the Capital. You have no idea how thankful I am that you kept here everything under control." Murad said as he didn't want to let me go from hug. I wrote to him everything in a letter, so he could come to Istanbul already prepared.

Murad went and kissed his children Ahmed and Safiye which missed him a lot. At that moment Selim and Suleyman came inside and kissed my hand.

"My lions, I am so happy to see you healthy back! I missed you so much." I said to them as I was so happy I saw them here.

" Everyone will leave the room I want to talk with Mihrişah in peace." Murad said and everyone left at his words.

He started moving towards the couch but I could see it is hard for him to move. I gave him my hand and he took it so he could easier walk. I was so afraid to see him like this. We finally arrived to the couch where Murad sat peacefully.

" Murad, are you fine? I am so worried about you." I said to him.

" I haven't drank my medicine today, that's why it is like this. Doctors said that the situation is good for now, you shouldn't worry my love." Murad said and kissed my lips softly.

" You dont know how hard it was until you weren't here. Mehmed... He was ready to kill his brothers." I said to him as my eyes filled with tears just with the mention of it.

" He will get punished now. Haci will bring him here soon." Murad said coldly.

" I could never even imagine my son would be something like this." I said to Murad sadly.

" He will get what he deserve, you shouldn't worry my love." Murad said and holded my hand.

" Murad, no matter what, just don't kill him. He is our son at the end. Even though I am angry on him so much, I don't want him to die." I said to Murad sadly. I couldn’t lose a child.

" If I putted the law which said that people who did things like this will be punished, this has to mean for him too. He wanted to kill our another children, what kind of punishment he should get if not death?" Murad said so me so coldly. I knew I should understand him, but no matter what he did to everyone, he was our son at the end.

Haci Aga bring Mehmed in our room who looked at us both with disgust. He didn't even want to bow to Murad which annoyed him at the beggining.

" What kind of behaviour is this, you traitor?" Murad yelled on Mehmed when he saw he won't even show a sign of respect towards his father.

" I won't respect you, especially not woman that is standing next to you. Woman which doesn't love her children equally." Mehmed said and looked at me angrily.

Each of his words was breaking my heart even more and more. My mind asked me why should I be sorry for him, why wouldn't I let Murad kill him? But my heart didn't allow me because I gave birth to him.

" You will show respect to your mother who was with you her whole her life. She gave her life for you and this is how you return to her?" Murad yelled on him, but Mehmed seemed like he doesn't care.

" I won't respect woman who never did anything in her life for me. She never loved me equally as she loved my brothers. She always treated me worser." Mehmed yelled back at Murad, who this time stayed calm.

" You know you would get punished if I would have hear before that you secretly married your concubine Gulnus, but your mother hided it from me and saved you that way?" Murad said and I looked at him in shock because I had no idea how he knows for that.

" You, Valide.. I can't even call you Valide anymore. You are no one to me anymore. You said this to him. You said it! And you lied you didn't! I wish I wasn't your son. I wish I had better mother!" Mehmed yelled angrily on my and I was at the egde of tears which I couldn't stop anymore. I couldnt never believe my son would tell something like this to me. What have I done wrong?

" Your mother haven't told that to me, but your tutor Lala said. You won't blame your mother like this, because she did everything for you. More than she should have." Murad yelled on him so loudly.

" And you too, you are not a father. You have no emotions towards your children. You are like a stone, so cold. Without any emotions." Mehmed said angrily to Murad, which was already tired from all of this.

" You will wait for your death in dungeon, Mehmed." Murad said and ordered aghas to escort him.

" May your rule end so fast, Sultan Murad. May you be remembered as the worst Sultan ever who killed half of his family!" Mehmed yelled while he was been escorted from the chambers.


My heart was breaking when I went to sleep together with Murad in his chambers, when I known my son will be killed this night with a rope.

Murad had no more emotions towards him. My son Ahmed and Safiye were afraid of Mehmed after they heard what he wanted to do to his brothers. No one felt sorry for Mehmed, but I did.

Maybe because I was his mother and I gave birth to him. Because I was the one who raised him. And that is why I was always questioning myself, have I done something wrong while I was raising him?

What have I done that I made him hate me so much, except that I wanted to save his brothers from him?

I felt guilty for his death, no matter how many bad things he said to me. When he told me he wished he had another mother, my heart was done. Like it would never start working again. My own child destroyed all my emotions and all feelings I had.

I woke up in the middle of the night because I felt pain inside my heart. I couldn’t breath anymore. Murad sat on the bed and took my hand trying to calm me down.

"Mihrişah, love, calm down please." Murad whispered to my ears even knowing nothing could help me anymore.

"Murad..." I started to tell him as I tried to catch breath as it was too hard for me. I felt like there is not enough breath anymore for me.

" If this didn't happen, you would look tommorow at funerals of Selim, Suleyman and Ahmed who were innocnet." Murad said and took me into his hug.

Tommorow morning we woke up and everyone in Harem was wearing black. So did Murad and I.

I walked to main entrance of Harem where all my sons and daughters gathered, and each one of them was dressed in black.

I went next to them as I felt lost completley. I knew if it wasn't Mehmed's coffin, then it would be three coffins from my another sons.

Ismihan and Mihrimah took my hands, each by one side, to make sure I won't collapse in front of whole Harem.

Aghas came inside the Harem with the coffin of Mehmed and walked with it around the Harem.

I tocuhed his coffin with my hands knowing that this son was the one who hated me the most in his last moments of life. Son which wasn't happy with the fact I am his mother. Son that always felt I love him less.

I had to come along with the fact I will never again see my rebellious Mehmed complaining to me. My rebellious Mehmed just being power hungry for ascending the throne. And that power turned him against his family.

Am I the guilty one for his death because I said everything to Murad? Am I guilty because I just risked Mehmed to protect my other sons.

Have I turned from innocnet Alexandra to Mihrişah who let her son into death? Have I turned into Kosem which I hated so much? Have I done the same thing she has done?

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net