No, Ass Can't Be Your Weapon

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"Wake up." A cold hand shoves me harshly, flipping me over and off of the bed.

"You trying to KO my ass already? On a Tuesday afternoon?" I grab the blanket that had fallen on top of my head and huff, pulling myself up and back onto the bed.

To tackle this son of a whore, of course.

"Hey!" He grunts as I flip him onto his stomach and pull his arms behind his back, straddling his back as well with my legs on either side of him.

"You mentioned something about learning to defend myself while we were driving here," I grab the sheet as he continues to cuss me out and wiggle around underneath my hold, "so," I tie his wrists together with the sheet and then lean down to whisper in his ear, "I thought that I should learn early and try to defend myself since you clearly attacked me unprovoked." I chuckle and stick my finger in his ear to tickle the son of a shit stain which earns me an almost broken spine when he retaliates by flipping his body over onto its side, my own body falling sideways off of the bed to the floor.

"You want to start learning how defend yourself, hm?" He chuckles darkly and I sit up, about to stand again but he stands over me, a leg on each side and I'm practically about to face plant into his dick.

Between the fast motion of him standing as well as the fact that his dick is inches from my face, I fall backwards and lay flat on the ground, staring up at him. He stands over me tall and stares down at me with a smirk.

"You sly mother fucker. If you wanted to have your dick in my face you could've just asked to face fuck me." I cross my arms and raise a brow.

He scoffs and crouches down over me before putting his knees on either side of my waist to straddle me and leans forward, gripping my wrists and pinning them above me.

"Defending yourself starts now. Go ahead, get out of my hold." He watches with a smug smile as I stare back at him, dumbfounded.

"Do I get a prize if I can?" I narrow my beady little eyes on the fucker.

"I'll grant you one wish." He stares back with a bored expression.

"DEAL, DADDY!" I beam at the prize that I must win.

Not sure what my wish would be but I'm going to win no matter what. I am going to wreak havoc and break through. I must prove myself.

Because I...

Am the next Hokage!

"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" I yell, hoping to catch him off guard.

"Wha- "

I bend my arms enough while he's busy being confused that I'm able to get them to move from above my head to under my chin and I immediately whip up, head butting his hard ass skull that's going to leave a dent in mine.

"Ow! The fuck- " He gasps out but no- I, Y/n, am destined to be the strongest out of the two of us, so... I DO NOT STOP THERE.

"FEEL MY WRATH FOR I AM THE NEXT HOKAGE IN THIS VILLAGE!" He starts to sit up to grab his bruised forehead but I knee him in the dick.

"FUCK! WHY WOULD YOU- " I ignore his pitiful and useless whines and shove him to the side and then I stand, victoriously.

"And with her final blow, she takes them down for good." I stare off into the distance dramatically.

"What- who's them?" He clutches his dick and head at the same time.

"BELIEVE IT!" I quote the anime for the (hopefully) last time while pointing at him.

"God damn, take a fucking bow and sit your ass down. Fuck." He grabs a flask from off of a dresser near him and chugs whatever alcohol is left in it.

"I would take a seat on your lap but I'm afraid that your dick might snap off from any more movement." I sigh dramatically and shrug, giving him a pity smile.

"Fuck you. Weren't you the one who wanted to get face fucked? Why hurt the one thing that can make you scream in pleasure?" He stands and walks over to me who's sitting on his bed.

"Oh, don't get your ass hair in a knot, Yongo Shmongo. I did it because I needed to get you the fuck off of me so I could get that one wish. Plus I am the next Hokage so of course I was able to get you off. Defending myself is easy, too bad you suck and couldn't even defend your balls." I throw up an L with my fingers on my forehead and grin to him.

"If my balls are fucking black and blue," he grabs me harshly while sitting next to me, pulling my body across his lap so that I'm on my stomach, "then your ass will be too." He smacks my ass once, hard.

"Oh, fuck. Harder Yoongi!" I moan out, waiting for more.

He flicks my temple.

"You kinky girl," He sighs and then chuckles, "go get washed up, I have clothes you can wear. Today you're going to learn how to actually defend yourself." He shoves me off and I perk up at the sound of today's task.

"I have a weapon already, actually." My tone becomes serious and he looks to me, motioning for me to say what it is.

"This ass!" I stick my tongue out at him and then smack my ass as I turn and walk away, a playful scoff coming from him as I head to the bathroom.

"No, ass can't be your weapon!" He yells back to me as I shut the bathroom door.

Yoongi sighs contently and then glances down.

"Damn, why didn't the author change me into pajamas a few chapters ago. Stupid fucking cargo pants." He stands and shoves them down his legs, hopping as he steps out of one leg and then trips himself, falling onto the floor while cursing out the author.






















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