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I gripped the door frame of the church with both hands and tried to gather enough strength and courage to enter a house of God. A place a creature like me dare not enter, for we will be judged for our sins. I did not fear death, but I did fear my judgment day from God and facing all the wrongs I have done in my life. I put my foot over the threshold but quickly pulled it back, shaking my head. "How about we just stay out here in the fresh air?"

"It is ok, my son." The priest said, standing just inside the church. "Just take a step."

"Father, I don't think you understand my situation here," I said in a panic. "God doesn't want creatures like me in here." I touched the devil's mark on my chest as it started to burn. "I am not welcome here."

"Do you wish to confess your sins?" He said almost too calmly. "We have all sinned."

"How much time do you?" I said nervously. "That could take a while."

"I have all the time in the world for a soul who needs help."

"Yeah, again, we might have a problem there," I said, taking a step back. "Trust me, father, you are better off just letting me go. I do not wish to burden you with my curse. God does not want me to enter, trust me." The devil's mark started to burn, and I groaned in pain.

"Those are the devil's words. He will fill your head with fear, but God is here to listen if you want to talk. He forgives you for your past and only see's your future." The priest took a step toward me, holding out his hand. "Trust in your future, not your past."

"Do I even have a future?"

"You do, and you just need a little guidance to find your light again. There is no shame in that." He gave me a slight smile. "Believe you can do this, and you shall succeed. Trust in the light inside of you. I can feel it, and it is strong. It is what led you here today. Don't let the darkness control your fear anymore." He held out his hand to me. "Believe in yourself."

I closed my eyes and nodded my head. "If I burst into flames, I apologize, father." I opened my eyes and took his hand. "Ebony, please be with me," I whispered as I stepped inside the church. "Don't leave me, sunshine," I whispered, closing my eyes, waiting for the searing pain of flames on my wicked body as I entered the house of God.

"Open your eyes, my son." I heard the voice of the priest. "God welcomes you into our home."

I opened one eye slowly and looked around. "Holy shit, I'm in a church," I said a little too loudly as the priest cleared his throat. "Sorry, father."

"It is alright." He smiled.

"Wait." I patted my chest where the devil's mark had been left, but I couldn't feel it. "Why is it not burning me?" I unbuttoned my shirt and gasped loudly as I saw the mark had now disappeared. "How is that possible?"

"Some things are welcome here, and some things are not." He pressed his hands together. "The devil is not welcome."

"Then how am I standing here?" I buttoned up my shirt.

"You are on the path of forgiveness, and God is beside you." He closed his eyes. "I can feel that you have had much suffering in your life. This is causing you much pain."

"Yes." I almost whispered. "I lost the love of my life, and I can't seem to find the strength to keep going." I felt my knees go weak. "Why would God allow her to be taken from me and given to the darkness?"

"It can feel like that when someone we love is taken from us. It feels like complete darkness."

"Why would God allow this suffering?" I almost yelled, clenching my fists. "Why would he take my sunshine and leave me without her? It should have been me."

"I understand your frustration. Nothing hurts more than losing love. God only does this when it is time."

"It wasn't time," I said through gritted teeth. "It wasn't her time to go."

"Death is never easy on anyone, but it is the circle of life. To have good in this world, we need to feel the bad times. Suffering allows us to reevaluate parts of ourselves we might otherwise ignore. God can sometimes use death to develop us into better people. The kind of people he can love and accept into his heart. He can forgive those who try to seek help and repent their sins."

"I don't accept that. She should still be here."

He nodded. "You are still here for a reason. Your journey is not over, and God is reminding you to stay on the path. The girl you love will never leave your side. She is your reason to move forward, not backward. I can feel your sorrow for her, my child, and it breaks my heart. Use that pain to move forward. Listen to yourself, and you will find your light again. I can see the darkness in your eyes, but I know that is not where you are supposed to be. You have found something in this world worth fighting for, so don't lose it,"

"Father, I am not a child of God. I am an abomination on this world, and I have lived my eternal life in complete sin. How can a creature like me believe in a path set out for light when I can barely survive in the darkness? My path is set straight for hell, and there is nothing I can do about it," I closed my eyes and sighed. "I am the creature that God can not possibly love."

"If that were true, you would not be standing here talking to me, would you? You came here tonight to find answers and feel closer to your lost love. You conquered a fear to be able to connect with her, did you not?"

I nodded my head slightly. "It doesn't change what I am to your kind. I will always be a monster."

"I do not fear you just like you no longer fear me. How are we any different?"

"You are not a creature of sin," I said, looking down.

"None of us were born perfect. You remember that on this journey. You might have been created in the darkness, but your future is full of light. You were led here tonight to allow yourself to feel this path. The darkness will always try to tear down things it fears the most. Your strength included. Please do not allow it to take you from your path. You know what you have to do."

I nodded. "I fear that I will not succeed. I fear that my children will grow up in a world with no light and no forgiveness. I don't want this fight to become a part of their lives. It's not their fight and burden to live with."

"No father wants to see their children suffer, but that is why we fight for what we know of right. They will understand this."

"Those kids are everything to me. All three of them, and I worry they will not survive this curse."

"God never gives us more than we can handle. If this has been put on your shoulders, then it is because you are strong enough to defeat it. Believe that this was given to you for a reason."

I shook my head. "I'm trying."

I felt his hand on my shoulder. "I believe in you, and so does your family. The devil has no control over you and your path. Only you have that will."

"Father, I feel like I should confess myself to you. Not all of it because that might break you, but most of it." I opened my eyes. "I owe my sunshine that. She has led me to you, and I need to listen to her. I need to share my sins and release them before I take this new journey. Cleanse myself if you wish."

"Tell me your stories, and I will listen." The priest said calmly. "Do not burden yourself with this any longer."

"You might want to take a seat for this," I said, pointing to the rows of pew chairs next to us. "This might take a while."

"There is nothing I haven't heard before, I assure you." He said, almost laughing to himself.

"I'm not so sure about that." I sighed, taking a seat on the pew beside me. "Here we go then."

I stayed the entire night in that church confessing my sins, and by the time dawn was breaking in the sky above us, we were both completely exhausted.

"Well, that was certainly...something." The priest said, taking a sip of water from his glass as his hands shook slightly. "You have certainly led an interesting life."

"I apologize for making you uncomfortable with some of my stories Father."

He took another sip of water. "No, it's fine." He rubbed his temples. "Well, we had better get you somewhere to sleep. You can't go outside with all that...sunlight." He said, looking out of the window. "Come, you can sleep in the back until nightfall." He stood up, leaning on the wooden pew.

"Once again, Father, I appreciate your kindness. I am sorry once again." I stood up, helping him balance as he nearly fell over.

"You are forgiven, my son. You will always be welcome here." He took my hand in both of his. "Your Ebony would be proud of you tonight."

I allowed myself to feel the pain of her death for the first time and felt a single tear fall from my eye.

"She will find you again," he said softly. "Believe that."

I opened my eyes. "I do," I said, shaking his hand. "Thank you."

"Come, we must get you some rest before you return to your family." He led me to a room at the back of the church with a bed and a single chair. "Rest." He said, patting me on my back.

"Thank you, father, for everything."

"Come and see me again when all of this is over." He said, walking toward the door. "I feel we will have a lot more to discuss."

I bowed my head slowly to him in complete debt for his kindness and understanding.

"May God be with you." He said, bowing his head.

"One question before you go, father. That bartender at the pub across the street. Do you know him?"

The priest smiled. "God works in mysterious ways, my boy."

"You mean that was..."

"Goodnight, Mr. Morgan, or should I say good morning." He smiled before closing the door.

"Ok," I said, flopping on the bed. "Did not see that coming."


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