"Chasin that bag they gon call me Mr. Chase"

20 days after Blu.

December 27th
__________

2 days after Christmas...

"So how the fuck is you gon have kids?" He shot the dice out from his hand that landed on five before I could answer I reached out in my pocket for $20 bill and laid it on the ground.  "I'll adopt like other people who can't physically birth a baby out their vagina." I said.

They all laughed while smoking their blunts while I looked confused to see what was so amusing about that. I only hanged around them because of my "boyfriend" and they found out we was gay on the low they've been clowning me ever since.

"Wonder why his jeans so tight he tryna squeeze his lil penis into vagina." The guy said laughing pulling up his pants to roll the dice again.

"You so worried about me you must want this "lil" dick then." I cocked my head at him. All his friends around him stopped as he slowly lifted his head up dropping the dice on the ground. "Fuck you just say?" He sized me toting his hand on his glock to make me scared but I wasn't going stand a chance.

"You the only nigga blowing they hot ass breath in my face so I must be talking to you." I said and before I knew it his hand almost connected my face as it was cut by my boyfriend blocking it. "He ain't on that shit B leave him alone." He said to him.

"Lucky this nigga just saved you.'' He tucked the gun all the way back in his pants and continued the game.

"Come on! I'm tired of dealing with this shit with you ." My boyfriend yanked my by my shirt and dragged me to the car with him. I mushed his hand off gently knowing how he would get. "No I'm tired of dealing with your homophobic ass friends Kashon they don't even like the real you." I said.

"Chase ian going tell you again just shut the fuck up and let's move." He told me throwing up a signal.

I rolled my eyes walking to the other side of the car getting inside and slamming the door. "Now you wanna act like a bitch." Kashon said eyeing me. I ignored his smart remarks because I was simply tired of playing the aggressor with his friends while they act like whiny ass victims.

"I'm not gonna say shit like you said because ima go the fuck off in here." I crossed my arms. We looked at each other once before he speeded off on the road. "They all probably like penises anyway." I softly whispered out my mouth.

"Nah chase we lacking communication so say what's on ya chest." Kashon looked at me and the road.

It was indeed true that we lacked a lot of communication skills because I was more affectionate than him and he didn't like that PDA shit out in public nor in private. It was hard being with him but I genuinely liked him I just didn't think he liked me back the way I did.

"I'm tired of dealing with ya fuck ass friends and you keep taking up for them as well." I crossed my arms still looking out the window. "You don't treat me like a boyfriend Kashon and I'm sick of it this whole relationship is one-sided as hell." I told him.

Kashon stayed quiet for a while as he gathered together his words knowing him he'd probably be in denial about the situation which is why this relationship continued to soar downwards.

"Chase I literally saved you from getting your head blown in and you mean to tell me I'm not taking up for you!?." He cocked his neck towards me quickly. "And allat other shit you talking about I've told you plenty of times I'm not wit that type of stuff bro." He said.

"Kashon, It shouldn't have to take a damn bullet for you to see that ya friends are disrespectful to me." My chest heaved up and down and I knew I was on the edge of fucking this whole shit up but I fought myself trying to stay calm. "If you not with that gay shit as you plead every time then why the fuck are you with me?!" I yelled.

Kashon pulled the car over to this gas station even though the tank was already filled up. He put the car in park and pulled out a gun that was in his glove compartment and he laid it on his leg.

"If you gon shoot me, do it." I shrugged.

He cocked his gun at my head and pulled the trigger twice but nothing happened. It clicked but no bullet came out.

"It's no bullets in here dummy what ya shaking for?" Kashon let out a deep chuckle. I sat in the passenger seat afraid and trembling trying to gather all my thoughts together. He literally sat there and laughed at me and that gave me the final signal of who he was as a person. "Take me the fuck home Kashon!" I shouted while my eyes balled out with tears.

"Really Chase you that scared of a gun with no bullets but you weren't when Black was cocking one at you." Kashon looked at me.

"The man you love should never agree to harm you even if you say so bullet or not." I said.

He glanced at me once until then he pulled out of the gas station driving off.

...

Therapy Sessions with Chase.

A quick glance into his issues he deals with on a daily of being a black gay male in a homophobic world.

"I see your back again Chase." My therapist heels clicked against her hard wood floor as she sat down with a glass of wine in her hand. "What welcomes you here this evening?" She asked.

"Why do they not love me?" My hands laid in my knees as I stood there. Eyes were a bit absent and dilated, legs were slightly shaking. "Chase are you doing well? You seem a bit shaken up." She said.

"I want to know why the don't love me, Rosa," I said again.

"Who is "they" that you are speaking of Chase?" She glanced at me and back at her notepad writing every little thing down.

"The men in my life why don't they love me." My face turned into a pout even more but I couldn't take it upon myself to cry. Rosa looked up at me with concern. "Maybe they have a hard time accepting you or even themselves." She said.

"Is that so hard to speak up and say why do they just continue to hurt me when I've done nothing but gave them my all." The tears filled up my eyes as I had come in realization into my love life. "They stab me and hurt me but all I do is love them." I said.

"Chase a lot of people are hurting just like you but have different ways of showing that but those are still red flags you have to notice." She put her glass of wine down and the notepad. " You're continuing to love this person because you've never had it so you don't know how to escape when you need to." Rosa said.

"It's time you let go of everything and love yourself, Chase."

....

To be continued..

I know these chapters are kinda boring but I wanted y'all to get in more depth of the people they really are behind all the other stuff.

I think after this chapter should we unleash the drama?

Stay tuned and love y'all 🌹