October 6th
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"It's like every time I get around y'all it's drama, time to get a new set of friends." Eve ranted throwing her hands up in the air.

We all looked at her but ignored it because she was just in her mood. Everyone knew Eve started most of the drama in the friend group but never would take accountability of it so after a while we just let her be.

"You lucky Dylan ain't here to fold ya ass." I laughed a bit scrolling through my Instagram.

"Oh go suck a dick Chase!" She flicked me off and walked a bit faster in pace.

We were headed to another kickback again this week being in college made me really turn into a "party whore" ever since I got here I've been going to parties back to back. It was just Me, Eve and our friend Judas this time. Dylan was busy with East most likely and Micah was a pregnant homebody.

"So are you and Zaion done or is he still being an over obsessive bitch?" I asked her. Eve face dimmed a bit on the topic. I was always upfront and blunt when it came to situations like this only because I actually cared for Eve and if I said it in a nice way she would've kept it a secret. "Uhm were fine Chase it's ok." She waved me off. Judas shook his head and I knew she wasn't going to say anything else about it so I gave up.

We walked into a pretty dingy apartment complex. The kickback was located in other words known as the hood and being a gay male made me more cautious with my movements around the area. I knew I had to watch my words now with certain guys because I never know which one of them might do something.

The lower level of the complex was filled with weed smoke in the air as a few men watched us walk upstairs from the sidelines. Their stares were deep and red as one of them moved his hand towards his gun but never pulled it out. I felt much more safer once we got on the upper level.

"So who exactly is the host of this party again Judas because this was your idea." I said to him. Judas had a white tee with a gold chain lacing his neck and some sagged grey sweats not the usual attire for a party but I couldn't complain because he looked good. "A nigga I'm real cool with I thought I already told you that for the 20th time." Judas looked back at me with an attitude.

"I-i was just asking because-

"Don't be on none of that gay shit today either these niggas ain't built with that type of lifestyle yet." Judas had cut me off as we made in front of someone's doorstep. Eve touched my shoulder assuring that I would be ok and I gave her a reassuring nod back.

I quick adjusted my jeans and watch as Judas banged hard on the door. The music ranged loud through the building. A couple of shuffles you could hear as the door unlocked and flew wide open. It was a tall tatted dark-skin man with sagged jeans and no shirt.

"Aye nigga, Jude!" He dapped up Judas as he let him inside. I stared him down watching his every move until his eyes met mine with a dark yet unreadable stare. He bucked at me a bit only for me to see and I quickly looked away. "Come on slow ass bitch." Judas ushered me to come in.

The kickback was full of men and a few of girls who looked very downplayed. They all were tatted and seemed as if they were involved in gangs noticing the guns on the table filled with cocaine and weed bags.

Judas went to the back with a few guys as Me and Eve found us a seat on the couch. The couch slightly cracked once we sat down. We both took a scared glance at each other but quickly moved our attention back to the scenery.

"Lil bih you hit this powda?" He pointed you Eve as he lifted a bag of cocaine up to her. Eve shook her head no. He looked my way with the bag still lifted up. "Uh nah nigga ion do that shit." I said as my regular deep voice came out. The guy nodded and went on with his business.

"What the fuck are we doing?" Eve whispered in my ear quietly not trying to gather a whole bunch of attention.

"Bitch that's your "friend" who got us caught up in this shit." I put my hands up in quotations eyeing Eve.

A few girls came out the back where Judas was one of them had wiped their mouth which hinted that something went back on in there. Eve shook her head as Judas and the guy who lived here came out behind them.

Judas came to sit by us and Eve scooted all the way over to me bumping my leg. I looked at her confused but she gave me that look so I waved it off.

"Why you actin like that Eve?" Judas asked her.

"It's Nothing you got something on your lip you should probably get that." Eve shrugged.

The guy came and sat by us with a bag of weed passing it down to Judas. He kept staring me as my legs were crossed and once I caught him looking I immediately uncrossed them and looked away. I didn't know why he kept putting his attention towards me it seemed like I had bothered him in a way.

"I'm going to go outside for a minute y'all I'll be back in 5." I said getting up from the couch and making my way to the door. I looked back at Eve as she whispered "be safe" out of her mouth. I took a moment to breathe and then turned the knob of the door and left out.

I had made it in the hallway walking down the stairs as I heard the same door I came out of open. I didn't look back to see who it was I just kept walking.

"Lil nigga wait!" The guy from the party said behind me. I heard his voice and sped my pace of walking up real fast. My heart was beating rapidly after every step I took. His deep voice ranged through my ears making me more terrified.

We were all the way outside by the parking lot and I could still hear him behind me as his shoes made a big sound within the sidewalk.

"I ain't do nothing yo." I raised my hand up in surrender slowly turning around to him.

The guy looked at me confused grabbing me up and pushing towards an alleyway.

"You making yourself look more suspicious by walking around like this nigga, all fast and shit." He said pinning me against the brick wall.

"Get off me then nigga." I tried to push him off of me but his strong hold kept me up.

"Nah, I know ya lil ass gay nigga that's why I'm following you I want this." His hand motioned to my ass grabbing a hold of it. At this very moment I was confused he was just "thugnifcient" a minute ago and now he's all of sudden gay now. What the hell.

...

A lot of stuff was going through my head this past week. I went to a party in the middle of the projects found out the host of it was gay this whole time trying to put this whole hood act on. Judas doesn't even know he's gay. My mother is suing me for unspecified loans I didn't pay her off. All this stuff had my mind racing back and forth.

I sat on my porch with a blunt in my left hand while the other was swatting off bugs. I had invited the guy over after he almost sexually harassed me even though I was a guy didn't mean I wanted to be touched everywhere without permission.

A black tinted truck pulled up outside of my house and I already guessed it was him since the windows were tinted straight black. "Hood nigga shit"

He got out with just a white tee and a pair of grey shorts with a Red Yankees SnapBack on his freshly new haircut. I couldn't deny for a guy who lived in the projects he kept himself real fresh. His apartment on the inside was actually nice without all the guns and weed laid out on the tables.

I stood up from the porch giving him a head nod as we both came inside my small home.

"This ya crib it's mad clean."' His thick deep Brooklyn accent came out. He wasn't from here as he stated to me before and you could tell because New York Accents were real heavy. "I preciate it." I said to him leading to the living room area.

"What ya lookin so tight foh like you don't want me here or something g." He sat down on the couch as I scooted next to him.

"I do want you here if I didn't I would have invited you." I shrugged as every word now just rolled off my tongue without no regret. He liked that you could by the way he licked his lips every time I would have a attitude with him. "Watch that mouth g." He said.

"So why don't you act gay around Judas your "so" called best friend?" I looked over at him as he slouched down in the couch. He chuckled a bit at the answer but waited a minute to actually respond. "Mind ya business sometimes and maybe you'll find out later." He shrugged.

It was something about that him that he would just have this nonchalant attitude that I somehow liked. He knew what to say to get of the right situations or topics I guess that came with being in gang-related businesses.

"Ok it just seems that your still inside the closet and I just wanted to know why I mean in all facts were both gays." I said.

"Nah because your still having a hard time coming out to people in your life so stop worrying about what I got going on with mine." He rolled his eyes and took out another blunt. "We fucking or what?" He asked.

"Actually you could find your way out and once you do I hope your realize who the fuck you really are because I definitely know who I am." I said flicking him off then storming upstairs.

...

To be continued...