This is me trying to get rid of writers block before it happens. Basically my version of word vomit.

For full effect of the weirdness listen to song kissing strangers by DNCE.

They had been on a mission when Arthur called Merlin by his nickname. The lights had unfortunately been around. So now he had to deal with the effects.

"So Merlin, how did you get your nickname?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Oooh, you're gonna love this one, listen up. It all started with a man coming from a strange land..."

It had indeed started with a strange man coming to Camelot. The man's name? Not Merlin you clot poles! His name was Zenon.

When he arrived in Camelot he caused quite a scene. Just as Merlin did.

That was the day that Morgana had dressed Merlin as a girl. Apparently Morgana had done a good job. When Arthur found out he practically pushed him out of the castle. He wanted... No, needed others to see Merlin like this.

So now they were in the Market, with guys literally swooning over Merlin. Arthur was having the time of his life watching Merlin awkwardly trying to get away. After a while Arthur had dragged him away from the guys towards the food aisles.

"Stay here, I have a few things to do." After Arthur ran off, Merlin had started checking out the foods. There was literally nothing else to do. Merlin not being accustomed to dresses tripped onto the carrot stand. A man came by and helped Merlin up. Arthur was back and listening, but Merlin didn't notice.

"Hello seniorita, my name's Zenon. What's yours?" The man introduced himself.

Merlin shook his head no. He'd rather not have people know that he was a guy dressed up as a girl.

"Well if you don't tell me your name, I'm going to have to call you seniorita carrots." The tan man smiled as he grabbed and kissed Merlin's hand.

Merlin shrugged, what else could he do.

"Why is such a fine lady as yourself doing in a market?" Zenon asked gesturing to the whole place. "Shouldn't you be in the castle?"

That was true. Merlin should be in the castle. So he nodded.

"Perhaps I could bring you to your room?" Zenon's question caused Merlin to violently shake his head. If he left, Arthur would put him in the stocks.

"Then at least let me have a kiss with the lady of my dreams?" Merlin was about to shake his head even more violently before the man had his lips on 'seniorita carrots' lips.

"I just got a kiss from the most beautiful woman in the land." What had just happened shocked Merlin. "You are beautiful you know that? " That was when Arthur decided to step in.

Arthur roared, "you don't..." He had to pause because he was laughing so hard. "Even know..." Laughing.

"Excuse me?" Zenon asked.

"Okay, how do I put this..." He chuckled again. "Seniorita Carrots as you called 'her' is... Male." These words shocked Zenon, and then he looked to Merlin.

(I wanted to have Zenon say "you're bi too?" But that wouldn't have been easy to put in the story.)

Zenon then fainted on the Apple cart.

Leaving a very flustered Merlin. His first kiss... Had been from a guy... An attractive one at least.

"Seniorita carrots!" Arthur laughed again. "Priceless!"

"And then- and then... The man kissed him!" Arthur practically shouted. Everyone around started howling rather loudly while Merlin just blushed in a corner.

"Probably his first kiss too!" A random night shouted. More howling.

"Actually it was..." Came a timid voice in the corner. His words stunned everyone.

"I'm- I'm... Merlin, I didn't realize..." Arthur stuttered feeling horrible.

"Too late now, but thanks for telling the story of my first kiss forty seven times. I'm going to get some wood."

"Well that took a turn for the worst," another knight commented.

Arthur glared at him. He was thinking of possible ways to make it up to him. But how?

Kissing strangers?

Like I said, total word vomit. Prolly sucks, but I decided to post some strange reason anyway.
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