Chapter 45: Treat Myself

A little Flashback

Soojin's Diary Entry 

Where do we go now?? 

Where do I go now?? 

God 

Where do I even start?? 

It doesn't matter anymore 

I take it all back 

This is meant for Karma but.... 

This isn't exactly the Karma that I would of asked for 

Instead 

I made things worse 

I want Karma to hit them back harder 

TO HIT THEM BACK HARDER 

ALL OF MY FRIENDS HATED ME 

But I believe that they will never do anything to throw me under the bus 

I don't know anymore 

All I have ever done for my best friends is to live their dream 

I wanted them to continue their forward and  I couldn't do it anymore 

I want someone to find faith in me 

Someone that knows my worth or showed me more courage that I just more than just a sitting duck 

But I couldn't do that 

It's because nobody believes me 

I am so sorry for not just being some little girl who is watching from the back of my head 

I am sorry that I couldn't faced them after all of the damage that I've done 

There's something that I have taught from a very special someone 

Someone who used to have faith in me but suddenly it fades away 

I need to Treat Myself 

I need to Treat Myself Better 

Wow 

How could I be so kind?? 

In the end, I wished them for the best so we can all had our last dance 

Our last final Dance 

But it's too late now 

I've lost everything 

If you find this letter and you are reading it right now then congratulations 

You just taught me of how to treat myself better 

Other known as.... Walk away from home 

Dear No one 

Sincerely, Seo Soojin 

P.S. I wished my best friends will still be around me right now 

......... 

A little Flashback 

After Shuhua reads the letter from Soojin, she had tears streaming down across her face and she still can't stop thinking about her even after when she left. When she reads the letter, Shuhua knows that Soojin had wrote just for her and her best friends and all this time Shuhua couldn't be here for her at the exact time when she finds that Soojin has already left the friend group. 

It really takes her back at all of those times when she and her best friends used to treat Soojin like dirt and throw her under bus and Shuhua wouldn't even have to think of it again. Right before Soojin left, she and Soojin had a fight and that is the last straw. Soojin is only trying to do what is best for them without having to get in a fight but it had to be this way. Shuhua will never forgive herself in that moment when Soojin finally walked out of that door. 

Shuhua will never forgive herself for thinking that Soojin is in the fault because the friend group is tearing itself apart. 

She never gets a chance to confess her feelings to Soojin 

She used to really liked her for a while now but it suddenly fades away 

If only Shuhua could see Soojin one last time 

If only she can learn how to treat herself better 

After Shuhua got herself a glass of water from the kitchen and she just finished eating those grapes as her midnight snack, she puts the letter somewhere safe in her secret box so nobody wouldn't ever find it because she keeps it safe. Once she puts her secret box somewhere in the hiding place, Shuhua went back to sleep peacefully until the next day arrives. 

Little did she know that someone came into her room and snuck in to get into her secret box 

The person grabs the secret box while she was sleeping as the person made their way out of Shuhua's room. 

Then the person takes out the letter from the box that was from Soojin and just took it so that Shuhua wouldn't ever find it until the next day. 

The next day comes and Shuhua notice something 

Her secret box is gone 

After hours of her searching it, Shuhua finally finds her secret box but the problem is the letter that was inside of the box is gone. Shuhua kept looking for the letter from Soojin for hours and hours and there is still no signs of the letter anywhere. 

Shuhua starts to panic 

That letter was meant to be special for her 

But instead it was meant for the five girls to have karma to get what they exactly deserved 

But at the same time, Soojin wishes them for the best 

It's the least that she could do 

Shuhua slides down to the floor and got behind the door as tears begin to stream down across her face 

The letter is gone 

She doesn't know who will take it or how someone knows about her secret box 

It has all of her special thing in it 

It was really meant something for her to keep her memories in that box 

Shuhua's mind: I need to treat myself better 

Shuhua's mind: Soojin is right about one thing 

Shuhua's mind: She wished us for the best but we suddenly washes it away and thanks to us we will never get to see her ever again 

End of Flashback

....... 

Present 

It's the next day 

Miyeon had woken up from the alarm. 

She turns off the alarm that she had just set on her phone.

She led out a groan as she gets out of bed to get herself ready. 

Before she gets into the bathroom to get ready, Minnie already appears in her room as she just give her a hug and starts to tease her just to make Miyeon smile. Miyeon isn't in the mood for the funny stuff right now because it's early in the morning and she really need to go some place so she can finish the stuff that she needs to do on her daily schedule. Also she couldn't stop thinking about yesterday when she and her best friends had went into Soojin's old place to have a discussion and she couldn't stop thinking about what Soyeon just said. 

There's no point of them trying to prove themselves if they were really meant to be together just for them to not actually showed. 

From all of those times, the five girls haven't been completely honest 

That what worries Miyeon so much 

It's obvious that she was tired of those lies that she has been hearing. 

Since Miyeon has returned after a month ago, she believed that her best friends are up into something after she left but she couldn't assume it without her having some sense into it. 

The only thing is that her best friends have every right to be mad at her but they don't have to take it out on her as much. 

If only Miyeon wishes that she could never put herself into that situation again 

Also she haven't got the chance to read a letter from Soojin but someone must of took it and she couldn't find it anywhere so it's gone. 

Miyeon's mind: What is the true meaning of how to treat yourself better??

Miyeon's mind: Well it's simple 

Miyeon's mind: Never let one thing that could tear your friendship apart 

Miyeon: Minnie I am not in the mood for your funny jokes right now 

Minnie pouts. 

Minnie: Aw come on I know something that could cheer you up *said it with a smile* 

Miyeon gives her an annoyance look and just roll her eyes. 

Miyeon: Minnie I really don't have the time for---- 

Minnie playfully hits her with a pillow and starting to giggle. 

Then Miyeon grabs a pillow as she playfully hits her with a pillow back. 

Suddenly, Miyeon and Minnie are playing a pillow fight then Minnie got on top of her and starting to tickle Miyeon as she starting to laugh. 

Minnie is still tickling her then Miyeon tickles her back and Minnie laughed too. 

Miyeon: MINNIE *she laughed* 

Minnie is still tickling her. 

Minnie: See?? I made you smile 

Miyeon laughed. 

Miyeon: Okay okay I get it 

Miyeon: You can stop now *she and Minnie laughed* 

Minnie kept giving her more hugs. 

Minnie: Oh.... Miyeon you are just so precious *she playfully flirts with her*

Minnie: You really are precious *teases her* 

Miyeon led out a chuckle. 

Miyeon: Stop it Minnie *starts to tickle her* 

Minnie laughed so hard as it made her fall down so hard on the floor. 

Miyeon had a smile across her face which it led into a playfully smirk. 

Minnie: MIYEON I WILL GET YOU NEXT TIME 

Miyeon playfully rolled her eyes. 

Miyeon: Oh stop acting like a baby *she helps Minnie got up from the floor* 

Miyeon: Also I need to get ready 

Minnie looked at the time on her phone. 

Minnie: Yeah... right we need to hurry 

Minnie: Also Yuqi is making breakfast this time *she added* 

Minnie: Let me know if you need anything darling *gives her a smile*

Miyeon nodded. 

Minnie went out of her room. 

Once Minnie is out of her room, Miyeon went into the bathroom as she is getting herself ready for the day. 

Little did she know that someone appears in her room as someone took another letter that she received from Soojin then the person took out an lighter and starting to burn the letter which is letting it get burn to the ground as the person throws it out of the window. 

After that, the person fled the scene and left out of Miyeon's room. 

........ 

Meanwhile 

Couple of hours later 

Shuhua: Come on Come on *she's still rummaging through her room* 

Shuhua is starting to get frustrated. 

Shuhua: UGH 

Shuhua: OMFG WHERE IS IT?? *she is still looking for the letter in several places and not just in her room* 

Once again, Shuhua received another letter from Soojin but for some reason it was gone and now she is trying to find it anywhere but the letter is not here anywhere. Shuhua is starting to lose her mind because she remembered the first time when Shuhua had the letter from Soojin and she already had read it until one day it was gone too. She could of swear that she puts in the letter into another hidden place but someone knows the hidden place and someone took the letter too. Shuhua still hasn't find it and she's starting to lose some hope of trying to find a way to reconnect with Soojin about this. 

It's like the mystery cases of stolen letters 

It doesn't make any sense 

No one isn't dumb enough to sneak into Shuhua's room and just magically already found the letters into her secret box and another hidden place that nobody didn't knew about it. 

BUT

Someone is smart enough to know that the letters are written by Soojin herself 

So who had the letters?? 

Shuhua already knows the answer to someone has the letters because she isn't dumb and she knew the right person who had them just for her to not read anymore letters from Soojin. 

It's bad enough that Shuhua wouldn't stop thinking about Soojin 

Those letters are not just any letters 

Those letters meant that only person wishes for these five girls to continue on their journey and also wishes them for the best just for someone who is no longer in the group anymore. 

Someone who wished them more than just a journey as those five girls tried to keep this group alive and they wouldn't never ever forget about Soojin. 

BUT 

When the time is up, the five girls acted like Soojin couldn't be apart of it anymore just because she left and they thought that Soojin suddenly is done with them and she hasn't been missing  them for the longest time. Expect that Soojin still cares for them and will always misses them alot but she couldn't come back because the five girls treated her wrong and she couldn't stand by it any longer and that is the reason why she left. 

Now the five girls know how it feels 

To be blamed for everything even when things haven't been taken for granted. 

No wonder why Soojin learned how to treat herself 

It's because she actually did when she is trying to let it go after everything that she went through 

As Shuhua is still continuing to look for the letters, Soyeon made it into her room to remind her that she and the girls are going shopping later on but instead she saw Shuhua is still rummaging stuff in her room and now Shuhua is starting to freak out. So Soyeon came towards her as she tries to get Shuhua to calm down but Shuhua is still looking for stuff and now she is starting to throw stuff then she led out a scream as she is starting to have a little meltdown. Soyeon yelled at her to tell her to stop then she tells her to take a few deep breaths and she stays right with Shuhua. Once Shuhua takes a few deep breaths and she finally had calmed herself down, Soyeon told her to take it easy as she gives her this squishy thing (something like a toy) that it helps Shuhua to calm down sometimes if she begins to have a little meltdown anything. 

Shuhua begins to squish the toy onto the palm of her hands. 

Soyeon: Are you calm now?? *she asked her* 

Shuhua nodded. 

Soyeon: Are you sure?? *she asked her again* 

Soyeon: Because if you starting to have a meltdown again, then I wouldn't hesitate to take you to the special physiatrist *she told her seriously* 

Shuhua groan with annoyance. 

Shuhua: Soyeon I'm fine okay?? 

Shuhua: Now can you back off and get out of my room?? *she snapped* 

Soyeon isn't leaving from her room. 

Instead she went up towards Shuhua as Soyeon put her hands onto her shoulders and she gives her an serious look on her face although she almost starting to get angry at her but she didn't. 

Soyeon grabs her by the chin and she looked directly at Shuhua. 

Soyeon: Listen to me Shuhua 

Soyeon: I'm just only trying to help you while you're having a little meltdown and besides do you think that I would let you destroy your whole room just so you can pay for your stupid junk??

Soyeon said it in a anger tone. 

Shuhua: Soyeon I was just trying to----- 

Soyeon: To find the letters that was written from Soojin?? *she scoffed* 

Soyeon: Yeah I know what you are trying to find Shuhua 

Soyeon: I'm not stupid 

Shuhua's mind: How did she know that I was looking for the letters from Soojin?? 

Shuhua's mind: Maybe she was the one who has them 

Shuhua walk away. 

Shuhua gives Soyeon an glare look as she crossed her arms. 

She continues to look for the letters even though her room is already a bit of a mess. 

Just for a 20 second, Soyeon stopped her from searching for the letters as she picks up the stuff that Shuhua has throw them onto the ground or she puts them onto the floor as Soyeon puts some of the stuff that belongs to her right when it was before. Then Soyeon pulled her out of the room just for her to have a talk with Shuhua privately in the closet. Shuhua doesn't even know what is she doing and she already knows that Soyeon has the letters but of course she knew that Soyeon is going to try and deny it when Shuhua is gonna confront to her about it now. 

Shuhua: What are you trying to do Soyeon?? 

Soyeon: Nothing 

Soyeon: I just want you to stop 

Shuhua: Stop what?? 

Shuhua: For trying to look for the letters?? 

Shuhua scoffs. 

Shuhua: See I knew it 

Soyeon chuckle. 

Soyeon: Know what?? 

Soyeon's mind: Shuhua is so pathetic 

Shuhua didn't say a word. 

She gulped. 

Soyeon: Go ahead Shushu say what you are going to say 

Soyeon: I'm waiting *she crossed her arms as she gives her those narrows eyes and a mean look* 

Shuhua's mind: Soyeon Sometimes you acted like such an total bitch 

Shuhua's mind: I bet that you have those letters just for me to not read anything Soojin related anymore 

Soyeon chuckled as she scoffed. 

Soyeon: What's the problem Shuhua?? 

Soyeon: Got a cat that stuck onto your tongue?? *teases her as she whispers into Shuhua's ear* 

Shuhua tries so hard not to get mad at her so instead she just starting to led out a fake happy smile onto her face just to piss her off. 

The thing is...... 

IT WORKED 

Shuhua: I guess you are right Soyeon 

Shuhua: I do need to stop looking for the letters that Soojin had written them for me even though the only person that knows who took them obvious wants me to stop reading them so it makes me to not think about her anymore for the rest of my life. *said it in anger* 

Shuhua: Now I need to go 

Shuhua: Nice