These past two weeks have been awesome. Yes I miss Max like crazy, but I told my Mom I decided to take a last minute trip and treat myself, I had a loads of leave owed at work so it worked out ok.

The guys here are amazing. I feel like I've got 20 brothers. Doc had me help him organise the infirmary, and going through some procedures. We tended to the odd wounds that came up together. BFG is so much fun, Adrian, sorry Killer won't let me go anywhere without him so we're like best friends now he told me all about how he came to prospect for the club, he took me home for clothes and I've been out on his motorcycle. I love riding motorcycles. I told Adrian when my hand fully heals I want to learn to ride. But as great as this has been, I have a career, I have Max, I wouldn't give Max up for anything, he's always been there for me.

I try to push the thought out of my head. I still can't go back yet because my hand will spark too many questions. Tonight I'm trying to make pasta for 20 people. Please God let this go right I've nearly burnt down the club house a few times since Izzy started teaching me to cook. I've got AC/DC blasting through my headphones to keep me from panicking and messing up. As I turn around there's my guy in the doorway. He comes over and wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck. I'm still not ready for sex, but he has been so patient, he's held me every night, I've only had nightmares twice in the last 2 weeks, that's so much better than it was and Adrian held me through them.

"Don't distract me" I say pushing him away, I think I've done it. I serve it all up and taste it

"Oh my god, it's doesn't taste burnt, tell me it's edible" I say as I stab a piece with a fork and offer it to Adrian

"Damn, that's actually good, well done Beautiful" he says as he leans down to kiss my forehead. The guys all filter into the room and sit at the big table

"Where's Izzy? This pasta is good" Bullet says with a mouth full of food

"Actually Bullet, I made it by myself" I say and see his eyes go wide

"Damn Masochist you're getting good, at least I don't need to worry about the club house going up in flames now" Bullet keeps calling me Masochist, after me laughing through the beating I took. All the guys seemed to respect me for it. I thought they would think I'm fucking crazy. I like that the nickname makes me feel like part of the family but Masochist? Really?

"Thank you Bullet, I will take that as a compliment" I say before offering out seconds to the guys. After all the guys are full they head to the bar and I start cleaning up, takes me a bit longer than normal with my hand still hurting but I get there. Adrian hasn't told me much about the club, I know they have the auto repair and tow business and they have a few other businesses but I also know that they are involved in some illegal business and that something important is happening tomorrow and I'm to stay here with the prospects for my safety. I finished cleaning up and head into the bar BFG set out a beer and a Jack for me and I sit on the stool

"How you doing B? Did you taste my pasta? I didn't set it on fire!" I dont like calling him BFG, mostly because I'm 2" taller than him so I call him B and he calls me Cece.

"I did, I can't believe it, little Cece learned to cook, I'm so proud" he says holding a hand on his heart, we burst out laughing and I swat him with my hand. Adrian walks over to me and wraps his arms around me. He insisted I call him Killer around the boys so I've been having some fun with it.

"Hey Killy Willy, how you doin'?" I say already knowing I'll be in trouble for that one

"Beautiful, really?" He says looking into my eyes I can't look at him or I will start laughing but he hooks my chin with his finger and pulls my face to look at him and I can't hold it back.

"Sorry Killer, only playing" I say blowing kisses at him in between giggles. Killer leans down and whispers in my ear "I think some one needs teaching a lesson" as he runs his hand up my thigh sending a shiver through my body. Before I can answer he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.

"Wait my beer!" I grab my beer off the bar and wave goodbye to BFG behind the bar. Life is good right now.