"Uh yes! You completely have the right to be mad, I can't believe he wasn't going to invite you." Grace said,

"I don't know, I mean we're not even dating or anything. I guess he's sort of not obliged to invite me."

"Charlotte shut up. He can't have sex with you, tell you he loves you and not invite you to a stupid party there having."

"Exactly it's stupid, I don't know why I'm getting so worked up about it. Just forget about it."

"That's it we're going."

//

I knew it was a bad idea to go. I felt sick to my stomach, but Grace had practically man handled me to Matty and George's apartment, we were stood outside the door arguing wether we should not knock or not. I said we should but grace was insisting on walking straight in. Ignoring her I knocked on the door and George answered.

"Charlie hey! Come in." He saw grace standing behind me and all of a sudden got all flustered, "Uh hey Grace. Uh how you doing?" She rolled her eyes and walked straight past him. He hadn't spoken to her since he spent the night at our apartment. He looked at the ground.

"Don't worry, she'll come around. Just don't fuck her and not speak to her okay? Because I will kick your ass." I said.

He looked up from the ground and laughed slightly.

"I won't Charlie, I promise. Now go find Matty, he should definitely apologise for not inviting you." I nodded my head and walked in to the kitchen. The music was blaring it was giving me a headache. There was way more people than a 'few' here. I just didn't understand why Matty didn't invite me? It wasn't as if it was a boys party either, there was tons of girls here. Maybe that's why he didn't invite me. We weren't together, but we weren't just friends. He said he loved me, I mean granted he was high as fuck, but still it's got to mean something right? I walked over to Grace who was talking to some guy. I grabbed the vodka out of her hand and took exactly 3 large gulps. My throat was on fire and my chest felt like it was bleeding hot fire.

"Woah Charlie slow down!" Grace said, I looked at the boy grace was talking to, then looked over at George who was sat at the table barring his eyes into the back of Grace.

"Sorry," I said whilst handing the vodka back to Grace and walking away. I contemplated going over to George and keeping him company while grace spoke to that guy who was clearly being used in some form of game that Grace was conducting in an attempt to make George jealous and judging by George's reaction, he was. I saw him before he saw me. He was walking towards his bedroom, I followed him in. I stood in his doorway and I watched him as he sat on his bed and put his head in his hands, I coughed slightly to make him aware that I was there. He looked up at me and squinted as if he was trying to figure out who I was.

"Charlie," he whispered. I walked closer to him, his eyes were bloodshot and his pupils were huge, his cheeks were red against his pale skin, he looked so cool but almost child like. Like the little boy he once was. I sat next to him on the bed, I still hadn't said anything. I was lost for words. He smirked and that child like face was gone. Replaced with the man with a boyish charm.

"I'm sorry I didn't invite you, I don't know why I didn't. I thought that if I did then things would get serious between us." I inched away as he said those words.

"You don't want things to get serious between us? So what am I to you? Just someone you fuck and say I love you to just for the fun of it?" I could hear myself getting more angry with every word, but I couldn't control it.

"No not at all, how could you even say that? I just mean I don't know what I want, I don't know if I'm ready for anything serious, I just. I don't know Charlie,"

"Well you best make up your goddamn mind Matty, because I'm not waiting around and I am certainly not being someone that you just fuck for fun." I stood up and walked towards the door. I had to get out, I wasn't going to let him see me angry. He ran up beside me and shut the bedroom door stopping me from going out.

"Jesus Charlie would you just fucking listen to me!"

"WHAT MATTY?! WHAT?!" There was now silence between us. That's all there ever was. Silence that was only occasionally filled. I hated it, I hated him. I hated this situation I was in.

"Man I'm so high." Is all he said. I rolled my eyes. Although I'd never seen him like this, he wasn't just high from weed. He was out of it, he could barely stand up without swaying, his eyes were almost turning red. Then I saw it, the white powdered substance around his nose.

"Jesus Matty have you been doing coke?!" I spoke more calmly than I was thinking.

"I can't be what you need," his words came out slurred and I barely understood him. He walked towards me and placed his hands on my cheeks.

"I'll break your heart." That's all it took for him to say, that's all I needed him to say. That was all the reassurance I needed. He was right, he can't be what I needed.

"It's already broken." I walked out of his bedroom as fast as I could. His apartment had gotten even more busy, there was now so many people there. I pushed past the crowds of people as fast I could. I could see him trailing behind me calling my name. I ignored him, the front door is where I needed to go. I heard Grace call my name but I ignored her too, I needed to get out. I felt like I couldn't breathe, my heart was racing and it felt like my chest was tightening with every breath I took. I finally made it to the door and down the stairs. I felt in my pocket for my car keys and then got into my car. I just needed to drive, I needed to get away.