"Dude Charlie's sleeping shut the fuck up," I heard Matty say from his kitchen as I lay in his bed half asleep. I hadn't even opened my eyes but I was completely aware of my surroundings. I heard someone lightly strum a guitar and it made me feel safe. Adam and Ross were over too, I could hear Ross' unmistakable voice and Adams laughter. I had only met them a few tines but they were all becoming familiar. After a long hard debate with myself I decided to get out of bed. I put one of Matty's shirt on and some jogging bottoms.

"Good morning darling," Matty said as I walked out of his bedroom,
"Hey Charlie," George said, and then Adam and Ross followed and said hello also.

"Breakfast?" Matty said placing a cigarette in his mouth,

"No thank you," I said taking out the cigarette from his mouth and placing it in mine. I sat up on his kitchen counter. He smiled as I lit the cigarette and inhaled the smoke.

"You're a bad influence on me Matthew Timothy Healy."

"And yet you are so good for me," he said smiling and kissing me.

"Get a room." George shouted jokingly. Matty and I both laughed. I jumped down from the counter and sat down on the sofa next to George.

"So any parties I should know about?" I asked George,

"Yeah we're having one tonight actually," George said,

"We are?" Matty questioned George while sitting next to me and placing his arm around my shoulder,

"Yes Matthew we are, I have just decided," Adam and Ross laughed,

"Party it is." Ross said.

//

There apartment got filled with people pretty fast. I felt like I was 16 years old at some dodgy house party. But I wasn't, I was 20 years old at a rock stars flat party in the middle of London. Yet it all looked the same, except people had traded in cans of strongbow to glasses of wine. There was still people smoking weed outside, still people lounged around all over the place. It all seemed the same. But there was something different about the atmosphere.

"Hey," I said sitting next to Grace while she was sat on Matty's sofa drinking a glass of wine and talking to some man.

"Hey charl, where's Matty and George? I saw Adam and Ross over there with their girlfriends, who by the way are incredibly nice, but no George or Matty,"

"I don't really know, Matty said he had to go pick something up. I don't know, he was gone before I could question him," She didn't respond, she just lay her head back. She was already incredibly drunk,

"Hey maybe you should lay off the wine," I said half joking, she placed the wine on the table and got up to go outside. I contemplated following her but Matty and George walked in,

"Hey darling," Matty said kissing me,

"Hey you're freezing! Where've you been?" He didn't say anything, he just hugged me, "I sound like an annoying girlfriend, sorry."

"Don't be sorry, you don't at all," he was slurring his words and his eyes looked the same as they did at the last party we went to, blood shot and watery,

"Matty have you been taking coke again?" It came out more accusing than it was meant to. He pushed me away slightly and walked towards the kitchen.

"Well?" I said following him,

"No Charlie of course I haven't, I can't believe you even have to ask me," he shouted at me, I don't even think he realised he was shouting until he saw most people around us looking directly at us,

"Ok Matty I'm sorry," I said, he walked towards his bedroom and I followed him, "Matty I didn't mean, I mean I just, you looked," I couldn't find the right words to say, nothing I was saying was making any sense. I couldn't think straight.

"Can I just be alone for a second Charlie, please?"

"Yeah, sure," my voice croaked. I walked out of Matty's bedroom and his apartment had gotten even more packed, there was loads of people, people I'd never seen before.

"Hey you're Matty's girlfriend," a girl with ridiculously long legs and the longest brown hair I had ever seen said,

"Uh yeah, hey."

"He's told me a lot about you," She smiled, she had the nicest smile I had ever seen.

"He has?" I questioned,

"I'm sorry, you probably don't even know who I am. I'm Chelsea, Matty's..." She paused for a few seconds and then said, "Friend, I'm Matty's friend,"

"Uh nice to meet you Chelsea, excuse me while I go find my friend," I walked
away before she could reply, there was something about her. She made me feel uneasy. I went out onto the balcony where Grace sat smoking a joint that some random guy had given her. I took it from her hand and took a long hard drag, everything in me wanted to cough but I stopped myself, I blew out the smoke and repeated this a couple of times until I felt light headed and dizzy.

"Matty and I argued," I finally said to fill the silence,

"You and Matty always argue," Grace said,

"I know, but this was different,"

"You'll be fine Charlie, don't worry. Go find him!" I hugged Grace, I don't know why I did, we never hugged. I just needed a hug. I went back inside to find Matty but I couldn't see him,

"Hey Charlie, you left your glass of wine on the counter," George said handing it to me,

"Thank you," I said taking it from him,

"Have you seen Matty?" I asked,

"Uh no, no I haven't,"

"Maybe he's in his bedroom," I walked towards his bedroom but George grabbed my arm,

"Uh just leave him, I think he needs space, come have a drink with me Adam and Ross," George said,

"I just want to check that he's okay." I took my hand out of George's grasp and walked towards Matty's bedroom. I opened the door, his light was switched off so I couldn't see anything, George ran up behind me,

"He's probably asleep, let's just leave him," he said,

"Matty?" I whispered, I rubbed my hand up and down the wall trying to find the light switched. I heard him breathing heavily. I switched on the light on and as soon as I did I wished there was once again darkness. My heart ached, I actually felt it break. I heard George gasp from behind me, but then I couldn't hear anything, it was like I had gone deaf, everything went black and in that moment, I felt dead.