Jerry's POV

Since seeing Robert last, I had called my parents twenty times, cried with Finn three times, kissed Adam Lincoln one time, brushed my teeth thirty-five times, and made up my mind once.

Maybe.

Probably.

Fuck.

For good measure, I cuddled up with Finn once more and groaned for twenty consecutive seconds. He patted my back. "There, there. You're gonna be okay."

"MmmmMMPPPHHHHHHghggg," I responded.

"There, there. Please get up. You're crushing me," Finn muttered.

That wasn't motivating for me. "Shush, Finny, we both know you like having someone on top of you."

He cackled.

I'd had a rough time since Robert and I made our deal. Not a single second wasn't spend thinking about Robert and the choice he'd given me. As far as I was concerned, I was stuck in between two options.

My mom even texted me, You doing ok honey? just know that your father and I love you no matter who you're with <3 whatever makes you happy, ok?

Oh geez. She and dad were way too nice. They made me feel even more guilty about the whole thing.

All over again, I had no idea what my choice was. Robert had given me such a long time to think it over and I still wasn't sure!

I decided to shoot Robert a text, just to check in. I hadn't talked to him since his house, except when I got weak and sent him a goodnight text. He'd responded with 'sleep well sweet boy' and I melted.

Me: do you know ur choice yet?

It wasn't until an hour later when he answered with, I think so

I was so worried. What happened if we didn't pick the same choice? Something told me that, knowing my choice, we probably wouldn't.

Finn leaned over and whispered, "You're not breaking up with him, right? Or... ending your hookups, or whatever the equivalent would be."

"No!" I gasped, eyes wide. "Why would you think that? Is he gonna break up with me? Did Aidan say something?"

Finn backed up and held his hands out. "Breathe. No. Geez! You just seemed really stressed, and I thought that might be what's making you nervous. If you're staying with him, isn't that a good thing?"

I didn't really know how to explain to Finn that the choice was more than just staying together. We were defining our relationship. I just really didn't want us to have different choices. What if we chose something different and it was awkward after that?

The worst part was that, even though stuff with Robert was what stressed me out, Robert generally knew how to make me relax. And, like it or not, he'd become my go-to guy for the past few months.

So, unfortunately, Robert was the guy I had to text.

Me: im freaking out

Master Dominant Sir Yes Sir: why??

Me: what if we pick two different things?

Master Dominant Sir Yes Sir: why would that be bad? we're two different people. we'd make a compromise. or, if that's not possible, we'd do what you want to do.

Me: WHAT?! ur a donut

Master Dominant Sir Yes Sir: im not a donut! it makes sense. you're the one without the experience. I wanna do what you wanna do

That didn't seem very Domly. But also, it seemed sweet, which was very Robert. And, weirdly enough, I wasn't as nervous. He made me feel like everything would be okay.

My head hurt.

I looked on Pinterest to see if I could find any motivational quotes, but nothing felt right.

I looked back to my phone, because I couldn't seem to go a single minute without desperately craving Robert. I texted him saying, we'll find a compromise no matter what

More and more I was worried that he'd want things to stay the way they were. But I didn't want that at all. I'd felt terrible when he told me that he wasn't my Dom. It hadn't quite hurt my feelings, but I was definitely shocked for the worse.

I wanted to be Robert's and I wanted Robert to be mine. That I knew, wholly and completely.

I spent class thinking about him. And when I came back to the dorm to see Finn getting ready for one of his classes, he was the first thing we talked about.

"Are you meeting him at the club tonight?" Finn asked.

I packed up my stuff for Robert's house and shook my head. "No, I'm skipping my last class and going over now. Finn, give me advice on how to not be nervous."

Finn shrugged. "Wear cute stuff in your hair. See? Look, I have a little tiny clip with a heart-shaped charm." He showed me the little heart dangling slightly behind his ear. "How cute?! I could never be nervous."

Needless to say, my best friend was absolutely useless.

I shouldered my bag and went to my car, praying throughout the whole drive that this would go well.

He opened the front door the moment I pulled into the driveway, looked damn handsome in his casual clothes, leaning up against the door. I launched myself out of my car to go cuddle in his arms.

Robert laughed and wrapped his arms around me. "Sweet boy. Why have you been so nervous? Communication is important in kink, so you're going to have to get used to it."

I groaned and cuddled even harder. "I don't want things to change between us," I mumbled into his shirt.

His eyelashes fluttered. "That's the option you chose?"

"Oh, no it isn't," I clarified, pulling away just enough to look into his sky blue eyes. "I just mean, no matter what happens, I like how comfortable I've gotten to be with you. I want that to stay."

He smiled that smile that made my insides turn to mush. He held my face in my hands and I leaned into his touch, finally feeling at peace for the first time in days.

"I think you've put to much pressure on this in your mind," he said with a teasing edge to his voice. "I meant what I said when I said that our relationship can change and evolve. If whatever we decide on tonight doesn't work, we can always do something different."

Ugh. I hated when he said logical things.

Now I felt stupid.

"Come on in and sit," he said, gesturing me into the house. "I have food. Tell me about our time apart, because I feel like you've had a hell of an experience."

Thanks to his healing cuddles, I was able to find my voice. "Sister, I have been losing my shit," I growled. "How have you not been nervous? I haven't been able to stop thinking about you."

He kissed me. "Believe me, I haven't either. Come on, I bought you McDonalds on the way home from work."

"Holy FUCK yes. This is better than pouring cereal, thinking you don't have milk, and then finding out that you actually do."

Robert laughed and tugged me into his lap, cuddling his face up against my neck. "I missed you."

I rested my head against his and munched on my burger. "I missed you too."

He trailed kisses down my neck and over my shoulder, which was seriously distracting me from my McDick's. "I missed you a lot," he growled, a husky edge to his voice.

"Down, Fido," I pushed at his head a little. "Let's make our relationship-altering decisions before sexytime, shan't we?"

"Shan't we?"

"Exactly."

Robert sputtered. "You don't know what shan't is. But, sadly, you have a point, my little devil boy."

"Back to devil boy?" I fake-sniffed. "My heart is broken now. I thought my graduation to sweet boy was permanent."

"Oh, hell no. You're a sweet, obedient boy in the bedroom." I shivered. "But outside the bedroom, you're a little devil boy."

I whined. "No fair."

Eventually, I finished up my food and our banter faded out. Robert picked me up like a princess and carried me over to the couch, where he proceeded to cuddle on me.

I smirked. "Not that I'm complaining, but someone's cuddly tonight. Do you think I'm gonna dump you or something?"

Robert nipped and my neck and I gasped. "No, silly boy. I'm reassuring you that there's no need to be nervous."

Weirdly enough, it had worked. I really wasn't as nervous anymore. "I know my choice," I said, heart pounding. "I just don't want you to be annoyed or anything."

He bopped my nose. "Not possible. I have mine. I'm also worried that you're not going to like my decision."

Okay. That was a good thing, right? We were probably on the same page.

"I can go first," he offered. "Although... I'd rather if you did."

The sudden feeling that I was going to throw up happened. I wasn't really sure if my decision was the right one to make, but hadn't Robert said it could be changed.

"I'll go," I offered. "It all started when I kissed Adam this morning—"

"That's a joke," Robert said, voice level.

I batted my lashes, knowing full well that he was going to be jealous and possessive. Which was so hot. "I had to! If I kissed him and enjoyed it, I'd want to make sure that we keep our relationship casual. But I hated it, I promise."

Robert's tense muscle relaxed. "Thank God. I'm still punching all of his teeth out tomorrow, though."

"You can't!" I said, shoving his shoulder a little. "I promised him that you wouldn't."

"Ohhhh, I'm so mad right now, I'm so mad right now, I can't believe he agreed to that after every single time I've thrown him into walls—"

"Chill," I said. "I kissed him and I hated it, and I knew that I didn't want to continue with casual sex. But then I called my parents and they talked to me about...going slow. They gave me some good advice about how I'm only young, so I shouldn't rush into things."

Robert nodded, nothing but understanding in his gorgeous eyes. That's how I found the strength to continue, because I knew he'd support me no matter what.

"The truth is..." I sighed. "I really do have a crush on you. I have feelings for you. I can't ever stop thinking about you, like seriously, it's kind of creepy!"

He smiled, tucking some hair behind my ear. "But...?"

I bit my lip. "I want a long-term contract," I managed to spit out. "Because we have something really great right now. And I'm not saying I don't want to be your boyfriend, because honestly? If we do this contract thing, that's the direction I see it heading."

Robert kissed me. Even though he was frowning, the kiss was still sweet.

"That was my choice too," he said. "I'd rather be your boyfriend; I'm not scared to admit that. But I'm also twice your age. I'd rather be a Dom to you until you find a nice boy your age to fall in love with."

That's when I realized that we weren't on the same page at all.

I wanted to have a long-term contract so that we'd understand each other well — get to know each other deeply — before making a romantic commitment.

He liked me romantically, but didn't want to act on it. He wanted me to make a romantic commitment to someone else eventually.

I wanted to explain myself all over again, but why would I? He'd heard me loud and clear, and still said what he said.

The truth burned in my throat, but I swallowed it down. I was getting what I wanted. We'd both chosen the same option.

That was a good thing... right?