Chapter Twenty

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Jerry's POV

Robert hated me.

That was the only sensible explanation for why he would send me something so disgusting and horrible. Instead of being a good person and deleting the picture, I giggled and said to Finn, "Hey, wanna see something funny?"

Finn looked up from his book and nodded. "Yeah, unless it's another meme about Tiger King. You need to stop. That ended a long time ago."

"It's not, I promise! Here, look." I shoved my phone in his face.

Finn covered his mouth and looked at it the way someone might look at a car crash. "What the fuck? Is that...holy shit. Adam and Jim? We have to show the guys."

Approximately two minutes later, the whole gang was clustered in our dorm room. Viv and Brianna were in their pjs with their hair a complete mess, so we'd either interrupted their sex or one of their very intense Guitar Hero competitions. Ben was wearing only a pair of boxers with the characters from Yuri on Ice.

"Were you bitches having a sleepover or something?" I spat with disgust.

"We were having a threesome," Ben said, sitting on my floor.

Finn and I looked at each other, trying to decide if that was a joke.

"He was kidding," Viv said, deadpan. "I don't like penis."

"Whatever," Finn said, waving them off. "You have gotta see this. Look at this picture. Can we please please do something about this tomorrow?"

Ben and Brianna began to cackle. But Viv meant business. A spark of evil glimmered in her eyes.

The very next day, Finn, Viv, and I were crowded together in Writing with a game plan. We'd also chosen to record the whole thing for the benefit of Benny and Brianna, who unfortunately had to be in other classes at this time.

I leaned back and groaned the second Adam walked into class. "Fuck, I am so hungry," I groaned. "Hungry for lip-lockin'."

Adam's eyes shot straight to mine. Oh yeah, he knew. "Let's wait for the rest of our classmates in silence, please," he said, voice cold.

Viv leaned over and whispered, "Me and Brianna are going on a lunch date after this."

"Cute," I added. "Gonna make out the whole time?"

"Of course!"

Adam stared at the ceiling like he was contemplating trying to blast off into outer space to get away from us. "Do you or do you not understand the meaning of silence?"

We quieted down. Our time would come later.

Later was, after fifteen minutes of introductory lecture, when Adam forced us to discuss the study guide questions on our text.

"I loved the part about when the two girls peed on the fire," I sighed. "It reminded me of my kink...urination."

Viv moaned. "Mine is voyeurism. It's a dream of mine to make out with my girlfriend in front of my ex. During lunchtime."

Damn, Viv was good.

I turned to Finn. "You're quiet today."

Finn gave us sad puppy-dog eyes. He dropped his voice to a real whisper and said, "Guys, I feel bad for him! What if he honestly likes Jim and we're embarrassing him?"

Finn clearly forgot about the time when Adam blackmailed him and tried to steal his boyfriend.

I didn't forget. Also I didn't have any mercy, because this man had been lying about my grades for an entire semester.

"You are stupid," I growled to Finn. Out loud, I groaned. "I love the part where they were all riding horses. Kinda made me think of riding something much bigger..."

"Aidan Demos' cock," Viv helpfully supplied.

"Exactly," I groaned. "If I were out to lunch with someone else and Aidan Demos was watching me, I think I'd strip naked on the table and start humping my food."

Finn finally rolled his eyes and chimed in. "I'd probably drizzle a milkshake on my dick so he'd know I was sugar sweet."

The whole class was used to our off-topic and not-so-quiet group discussions by now, so they didn't even react. Adam, however, still glared at us.

Unfortunately, the two idiots next to me got totally off-topic. "If you're vegan, why would you have ordered a milkshake?" Viv asked, because it was the details that mattered when fantasizing about sex with your chemistry teacher.

"I couldn't think of a sweet vegan drink served at restaurants on the fly!"

"I don't know, lemonade?!"

"Dude, I think lemonade is straight-up sour, so I don't know what's wrong with you."

My phone's vibration gave me a great distraction from their stupid debate. It was a text from Robert with the words, how does dinner with me tonight sound, sweet boy?

I wasn't sure when 'devil boy' and 'demon boy' had changed, but the new nickname seriously made me horny. And also, the thought of dinner made me melt inside. I could already tell that I was blushing beat red.

Finn noticed, like the smart little shit he was, and looked right over my shoulder. "Oh my gosh!" he squealed, covering his mouth and bouncing in his chair. "Say yes. You guys are my OTP."

For whatever reason, that sentence had Adam's attention more than anything else in the room. "No phones," he snapped, a scowl on his face.

Wow. He was jealous. Which only meant one thing...

Adam knew what OTP meant. Wild.

I stared at him. Maybe he wasn't as old as I thought he was. "How old are you?" I blurted out. "Do you know what an OTP is?"

Adam closed his eyes, acting like he was in physical pain, and sighed. "I have the internet, you know."

What an obscure way of responding. Weird. I texted Aidan asking for Adam's age just to sate my own nagging curiosity.

I also texted Robert back.

Me: Yeah i guess, but i dont want anythint fancy. If it cant give me high blood pressure when im older i dont want it.

Robert: how does steak, potatoes, and corn on the cob sound?

Me: it sounds like ur getting laid tn. HARD

And then I was left with an awkward boner in the middle of Adam's class because I started thinking about sex with Robert. That man really knew how to fuck a boy.

"Psst," I hissed at Finn. When I got his attention I pointed at my buldge and winked.

Finn buried his face in his arms.

I cackled.

After Adam's hella boring class, I said my goodbyes to my friends and snuck off to a nearby coffee shop to finish my homework. It wasn't worth following Viv because she met up with Brianna to study. And Finn always ran to Aidan's office hours after Adam's class.

So instead, I had a good solid two hour period in my schedule to get some work done.

Weirdly enough, the greatest moment of my entire life happened during this particular study session. Nearby, there were two boys my age eating food. There really wasn't anything that unique about them, except one of the kids was wearing a knitted sweater that hung off his shoulder. I liked his weirdo style.

Because I was nosey and they were whispering, I listened in on their conversation.

And I overheard the greatest thing in the world. The boy in the sweater whispered, not so quietly, "And then he peed on me."

I sat up straight and tried not to join their conversation right away. Was this my brother in kinks?

The other guy was acting all grossed out, but the cute blonde boy shouldered on. "No, it wasn't bad!" he insisted. "It was...it was kinda hot."

Yup. Their conversation was about to become my conversation.

"Hi, my name is Jerry!" I exclaimed, plopping down and their table and shaking their hands. "I overheard something about a urination kink?"

The blonde kid went beat red. "Um, oh no, you totally misunderstood—"

I waved a hand. "Chill, I just need to ask questions. Was it as hot as it seems in porn? Because I've been dying to try it, but I've never really gotten around to it. Oh, what's your name by the way?"

Blonde kid was still ogling at me, but his blush was starting to fade away. "My name's Cooper...are you making fun of me?"

My jaw dropped. "No! Oh my God. No, I seriously have a urination kink, but I've never met anybody who's tried it."

The other kid dropped his head to the table and muttered, "How is this happening right now...?" so I figured he'd be useless to the conversation.

"Tell me all about it!" I begged. "I'll buy you another coffee if you do. I'm dying to know more."

Finally deciding that I wasn't trying to be an asshole, Cooper smirked and leaned in. "I'll tell you right now, it was so hot."

"Cooper, give me all the deets."

We chit chatted back and forth for so long that I was almost late to dinner with Robert. But by the time I got to his house, I was giddy with excitement.

"Master Robert!" I yelled, banging on his door. "Let me in please, I have a very fun story to tell and also I'M SO HUNGRY."

Robert greeted me at the door, looking handsome in a pair of jeans and a dark, button-down shirt. His smile alone made butterflies in my stomach. "Easy, boy, the food isn't going anywhere. Come on in."

I kicked off my shoes and skipped past him into the dining room. And holy shit. The food smelled amazing, but looked even better. I sat right down and started loading my plate up with the essentials, which was literally everything I could see.

Robert stopped next to my chair and tapped the underside of my chin. For some reason, I knew that he wanted me to tilt my head up for a kiss, so I did.

As natural as anything, I got my hello kiss and he sat at the table.

"Alright, tell me," he said, giving me that look that usually forced me to drop his gaze. He looked at me like I was the most interesting person in the room. Almost like, even if someone started breaking into the house, he still wouldn't be able to look away.

But hey, I had a story to tell. No point in wrapping myself up in the gooey shit. "Well, I met someone today who actually got peed on sexually."

Robert blinked. "Only you would manage to find someone that has been peed on sexually."

I grinned and started inhaling my steak like it was my last meal. "Holy shit on a ten foot long stick," I moaned, tossing my head back. "Wow. That fuckin' smacks."

"Thank you," he said, a bit of a pleased flush to his face. "Um, so, what did this boy who has been peed on sexually say to you?"

I went on to describe the conversation, in which Cooper was a very positive endorsement for sexual urination. "So basically, that's what we're doing tonight," I finished, taking a large bite of my steak.

"No," Robert said, grinning at me.

My jaw dropped. "My guy! Why?"

"We can't, because I already had something else planned," he continued. "We can do urination some other time if that's really what you want. Preferably at the club, so we can switch gears if you don't actually like it."

I wanted to groan and throw a small, adorable, fit about it, but...he'd been planning. "What do you have planned?" I asked instead, because that seemed like it would be a much more fun topic.

Master Robert smirked and gestured at my dinner. "Eat quick and you'll find out."

Needless to say, I ate so fast I nearly needed the Heimlich multiple times.

-

Okay I read a Buzzfeed article about how American lemonade is totally different from the rest of the world's. I feel like I have a bunch of non-American readers, so can you guys verify: is your lemonade carbonated???? Bc mine is not

I've been dying to know please tell me

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