Falling Short

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"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat."

F. Scott Fitzgerald

April 5th, 2188

Ashley Williams

______________________________

Ashley woke up on the floor, not far from the apartment entrance. She was half-covered in a blanket. She felt something licking her ankles, a dog, or was it a cat? She couldn't recall Emma having any pets. No, she was positive there were no pets in the apartment. That meant...

She yawned. "Honey, what are you doing?"

The woman at her feet mumbled something inaudible as she began to work her way up to Ashley's calves. It tickled, but it also felt nice. Emma had a rare talent. She was so giving. Ashley had never been with such an unselfish lover before, and because she'd never really experienced play from this side of the field, she didn't know if it was normal. The things they'd done over the past few days were incredible, astonishing, and at times embarrassingly crazy.

Emma liked to push boundaries. She couldn't help herself. There were so many of Shepard's thoughts, ideas, memories floating around in Emma's head, things that Shepard had done that Emma had never actually experienced for herself, and so she had to get it all out. Their lovemaking was a bit intense as a result, but Ashley was ok with it. She understood. It was Emma's first time, and she was trying to do everything all at once.

Ashley tried to keep up, indulge her as much as she could, but sometimes it was just too much. It wasn't easy to say no to Emma. She was persuasive, so persuasive that Ashley went along with things she never would have tried in the past. Perhaps she'd opened herself up to new ideas because she was trying to get as far away from herself as possible. In this place she could be someone else, have another life. She didn't have to deal with what she had done.

Unfortunately, she had only hours until her new Chief Engineer finished her work on the Salamis, and then it was off to Benning for a showdown with Cerberus.

'Not now,' she thought. 'Don't dwell on it, don't think about it, just enjoy... this.'

She could feel Emma's tongue making little circles behind the back of her left knee, then felt it dragging up along her thighs, slick, warm, wet, delicate... It tickled. It felt amazing. There was a part of her that wanted to march into Hackett's office and turn in her resignation. She'd get her pension, and spend the rest of her days doing this, just being with Emma.

Ashley let out a deep sigh. Emma stopped.

"Hey!" said Ashley. "I liked that."

"I know," said Emma. "But it's time."

"Time for what?" asked Ashley.

"I thought about what you said, that if there was anything I could remember, you'd trade just about anything for it. There is something that may be important, and I know what I want," said Emma.

Ashley turned over. Emma crawled up on her and straddled her belly. She wore a grin so devious that Ashley became a little worried. What the hell was she going to ask her to do, marry her? Ashley thought about it. It was crazy, but not the worst idea ever. Yea, she'd do it, definitely, happily and for ever after.

"So you'll do anything?" asked Emma.

"If the information is good, just about anything," said Ashley. "So what is it that you remember?"

Emma smiled. "Nope, first I tell you what you're going to do for it."

Ashley laughed. "Ok, ok, what is it?"

Emma bent down and whispered it into Ashley's ear. It was dirty, and surprisingly elaborate, a well thought out fantasy. It was nothing she had ever imagined Emma could possibly dream up, let alone request of her. It had to be a Shepard thing. Ashley had heard Shepard was pretty wild in the sheets, but this was something else.

Ashley laughed. "You have got to be kidding me! I thought you were going to ask me to marry you or something."

Emma's face transitioned through several shades of red. "Uh, I'm sorry, I suppose I got a little carried away. I..."

She was trembling; again with the nervousness. Was it a genetic thing, or some mental imbalance created by her captivity? Ashley had forgotten how sensitive Emma was. Her reaction to what Emma said had unintentionally humiliated her. Ashley grabbed Emma's arms and pulled her down on top of her, wrapping herself around her.

"No, no, no, baby, don't be ashamed. I'd love to do that for you," said Ashley. "Matter of fact, I'm already looking forward to it."

Ok, maybe that was an exaggeration, but she could manage it, or at least act like she was into it. Emma relaxed in her arms.

"Really?" she asked sheepishly. "You don't think that's sick or anything?"

Ashley laughed. "I don't know about sick, but it's one of the filthiest things I've ever heard, that's for sure. Which probably means it came from Shepard's head, am I right?"

Emma snorted and changed the subject. "You would have married me, honestly?"

"Yea," said Ashley.

Emma sighed. "So can I change it? Wait, let me think..."

Ashley couldn't believe it. "Wait, let me think? Are you telling me you can't decide between marriage and your perverted fantasy?"

Emma was mortified. "I didn't mean it that way, of course, of course, I choose marriage. I choose that first."

Ashley realized Emma was serious, even more surprising, she was just as serious.

"What about both?" Ashley suggested.

Emma gasped. "You're not joking."

"Nope," said Ashley.

Emma kissed her.

"Yes!" she said.

Then kissed Ashley again, and repeated the word yes, over and over each time she kissed her.

Ashley offered up something approximating a prayer. 'God, please let this be the rest of my life.'

She was up in the clouds and didn't want to come down, even if there were important things she had to do first. She had to take care of Cerberus, get Shepard's body back, and then she was done... She could see it. A Williams who wasn't in the Alliance. A retired Williams, a happy Williams with a family she saw every day and would never be apart from. No more Cerberus, no more Alliance, and no more Spectres. She'd never have to compromise herself again.

Ashley ran her fingers through Emma's hair. "Ok, I know this ruins the mood a little bit, but I have to ask. What did you remember that might help me?"

Emma sighed. "Honestly, Ash, I already spilled my guts to the Alliance. I tried as hard as I could to tell them every little thing, so this might not be that important."

"Try me," said Ashley.

"Well, I'm not sure what this means," said Emma. "She kept some sort of communication device in the basement, and a few times I heard her start the conversation. It must have been a code or something, because it was strange."

Ashley perked up. "What did she say?"

As Emma thought about it, her eyebrows crinkled in the cutest way. They were just like Shepard's, well, they were Shepard's.

Emma finally recalled. "The land here is furrowed, broken dreams bloom on shoots of green, and home where we stand is but a temporary place in eternity, where the dim light unfading calls us to better fortune."

She sighed. "I know, that's pretty stupid, right? It probably means nothing."

Ashley was excited. "No, it means everything, Emma. It's poetry!"

Emma was confused. "Huh?"

"Poetry," said Ashley. "It's one of my favorite things. The first line has parts of a poem by Olivia Free, and the second line includes a fragment from another poem, one by Sofia Cabral."

"How does that help?" asked Emma.

Ashley kissed her and smiled. "I'll tell you when this is all over, but for now..."

She sat up and pushed Emma to the floor, pinning her arms back. "How about I do that thing you want me to do."

Emma's eyes went wide. "Now? Here?"

"Yea," said Ashley. "I still have time."

For all her big talk, Emma was acting a little apprehensive. It was only natural.

"I was just having a little fun with you," she said. "I don't really..."

Ashley interrupted her. "Too late, I have to do it now, and you can't stop me!"

Emma's eye's fluttered, her breathing quickened, and Ashley could tell, nervous as Emma was, that she wanted it to happen. Ashley spent the rest of the afternoon fulfilling Emma's fantasy, and as it turned out, she enjoyed it a lot more than she could have ever imagined.

___________________________________

The mansion on Benning was spectacular, a construct of form, function, and elaborate detail. It was solar powered with an old fashioned flare hearkening back to energy crisis designs of the mid twenty-first century. The furniture arrangement was minimalist giving the space an airy quality that Ashley appreciated. The enormous bay windows used Thessian Skyglass, thus reducing the glare of full daylight while magnifying the night over tenfold so that one could actually read an old printed book by starlight if they so desired. There were many such books lining the polished cedar shelves on the walls. One entire wall was dedicated to poetry. In many ways, this was Ashley's idea of a dream home.

"Nice, isn't it!" said Kasumi.

Ashley nodded. "Yea, it's beautiful, truly."

"Thank you," said a musical voice.

Ashley turned to the stairwell. A curvaceous woman ascended from the winding stairs that led below. She was followed by another, her apparent twin. They were both remarkable in appearance, graceful in movement, like two large does swimming through tall grass on a starlit night. They were olive skinned, with long raven hair that fell in straight defiance to their curves. It was like watching black sand trickle through two hourglasses.

"Captain Ashley Williams, this is Olivia Free," said Kasumi.

Ashley glanced at the two women. "Nice to meet you, though, I can't tell... which one of you is Olivia?"

"I am, we are," said the woman nearest Ashley.

Ashley noticed that both women's lips moved, but sound only came from the foremost.

"Uh, ok," said Ashley.

Kasumi explained. "Olivia is a binary twin."

Ashley shook her head. "A what?"

Both women smiled, the mouths moved, but again, only the foremost spoke audibly.

"We are one personality sharing two bodies, two minds. Some processes can be independent, but often they are duplicated. For example, my other self lacks the power of speech, whereas I cannot smell, but both bodies feel many of the same things at the same time. We fall asleep in unison, cry in unison. If one eats food, the other can taste it," they said.

Ashley thought back to her conversation with Ramirez. She begin to piece together what the man had suggested, in theory.

"Melody Gold-Young and Olivia Maslany," said Ashley.

Both women changed expressions and raised their eyebrows as if they were in fact, one person.

"Excellent," said the women, the sound, again only emitting from one mouth.

"But who is who?" wondered Ashley.

"We are the same, as to our former identities, we no longer remember ourselves," said Olivia.

"Wow, that is just, freaky," said Ashley.

Both women shrugged. "We could distinguish in the earliest days after the surgery, by appearance alone. However, our doctor decided to alter us on a cosmetic and genetic level to reflect our new identity."

"The Salarian, you mean," said Ashley.

"Yes," replied Olivia.

Ashley thought about it. "So, one of you was sick, the other was healthy and used as, what? A vessel, a transplant? How is it that both minds can work together across two bodies?"

Olivia explained. "The doctor was able to arrest the advancement of Melody's disease, but it had already destroyed parts of her brain. At first, his plan was only to transplant healthy brain tissue from Olivia. However, he had acquired technology from an alien race as a trade for other human subjects and he was eager for a chance to test it. He used this technology to connect our minds, so that the healthy brain's functions could fulfill the obligations of the damaged brain. Unfortunately, it was an imperfect surgery and some functions were also lost in the healthy brain. In the end, he had to merge both signals."

"God, he turned the both of you into lab rats," said Ashley.

"Essentially, but over time I came to accept and even love who I am, we are," said Oliva.

"And at some point you met Shepard," said Ashley.

"In college," said Olivia. "She was my first love."

Ashley nodded. "It didn't work out though?"

"I was merely a temporary port for her. She was on a voyage that I couldn't take, though we remained close friends," said Olivia.

Ashley shook her head. "She never mentioned you."

Both women smiled. "She respected my anonymity, my art."

"I see," said Ashley. "When was the last time you spoke to her?"

"She wrote us a letter shortly after she became engaged to Liara," said Olivia.

"Did she mention anything important, anything that Cerberus would want to know?" wondered Ashley.

"No, she only discussed her feelings for Liara. She knew it would make me happy to hear that she had finally found her heart," said Olivia.

Ashley felt a surge of jealousy. "So, she really loved Liara?"

"Of course," said Oliva. "It was quite a remarkable love, truly."

"That's nice, but it still doesn't explain why Cerberus is so interested in you," said Ashley.

"Meow!" said Kasumi.

Ashley looked up. "Huh?"

Kasumi cocked her head in a peculiar way. "Sorry, I had a thought."

"Do share," said Ashley.

The thief, taking some dramatic license, put her hand under her chin and twiddled her thumb.

"Let's see here," she said. "Maybe, we're so focused on Adam and God playing tag, we're missing the brain."

Oliva turned to the thief. "You're saying they want my mind?"

"Or what's in it," said Kasumi.

Ashley caught on at last. "The device, you said it was an alien device, and the Salarian doctor traded subjects for it."

"And what alien race traded technology for test subjects?" asked Kasumi.

"The Collectors," said Ashley. "Which means Olivia has Reaper Technology in her head, Reaper Technology that allows direct communication between minds. Oh, God..."

Olivia was startled. "You mean I have a part of those machines in my head? How is it that I'm not indoctrinated?"

Ashley stared at Olivia. "I've seen this once before, an Asari named Shiala. She was indoctrinated, but because of a creature called the Thorian, she shared a collective consciousness with several other people. This allowed her to resist the effects of indoctrination. It was also the same with the Rachni Queen, they had to entrap her and use her to enslave her offspring. She herself, was able to resist indoctrination."

"So a hive mind, so to speak, is a protection against the Reapers," said Kasumi. "That would have been useful in the war, but I wonder why Cerberus wants it now?"

Ashley began to spin possibilities. It was increasingly clear that Cerberus wanted the device in Olivia's head. If the Reapers had altered, or 'upgraded' Shepard and Cerberus had her, perhaps they needed a way to control her, or communicate with her, ergo, if they needed this device, it meant they were either short on resources, or somehow, someway, Shepard was resisting them. If she was resisting them, it meant she was still alive, and possibly, still herself.

"Captain, what do you know that you aren't telling us?" asked Kasumi.

"I'll tell you later, but for now, we need a plan. We need to take Cerberus out," said Ashley.

Kasumi smiled, "I think I know how. Has James moved on the boy yet?"

"Not for another few hours," said Ashley.

"Good," said Kasumi. "Tell him to wait just a little bit longer. We don't want to exploit the mole yet. If we do this right, we kill two birds with one stone, get two outs with one pitch, get our cake and eat it too, no, no, that's not right, what was that? Hmm..."

Ashley sighed. "Kasumi, you can stop now. Get to the point. What's your plan?"

"The plan is, to give Cerberus what they want, or at least offer it to them," said Kasumi.

Ashley saw it now. "You want to use Olivia as bait?"

A familiar voiced interrupted their discussion. "Well, that's just a goddamn stupid idea if I ever heard one."

Ashley glanced in the direction of the voice. Zaeed Massani had emerged from the stairwell to join the conversation.

Kasumi smirked.

"Zaeed, what are you doing here?" asked Ashley.

"He's my bodyguard," said Olivia. "He came highly recommended."

______________________________

Several hours later, the plan was in place. Information about Olivia Free's location had been passed across the desk of the Cerberus mole. It was only a matter of time before Cerberus made their move. A message came down from the Salamis that the mole had illegally accessed a QEC. Such a risk indicated Cerberus's desperation, which meant the response was going to be swift. Ashley was nervous.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," said Zaeed.

"Relax, Zaeed," said Kasumi. "Vega's team has been thorough over the past few weeks. Cerberus can't have more than half a dozen operatives left, and we'll be ready for them when they get here."

As if he'd heard them talking, Ashley received a message from James over the com.

"Captain, both of the guards watching Joshua just vamoosed, and a call came in for fake Mrs. Taylor. I think she's been ordered to dispose of the kid, but she's dragging her feet. Looks like she's a little attached. I've got her locked down with three snipers, do you want us to take the shot now, or wait until they move on you?"

"Don't shoot yet, I don't want them getting wind of it. They might smell a trap, but if she makes a move towards Joshua..." said Ashley.

"Aye, aye, Captain, Vega out," said James.

Ashley cut her com link. "Anytime, now," she said.

"I'm telling you, this smells fucking wrong," said Zaeed. "Why the hell is Cerberus so interested in one little device in a woman's brain? What are they gonna do with the goddamn thing?"

Ashley glanced around. Most of her team was covering the exits, well out of earshot. It was just Zaeed and Kasumi next to her.

"They've got Shepard," said Ashley.

Zaeed chewed on the information for a few seconds. He looked skeptical. "What the hell are you talking about, Williams?"

"It may just be body, but the Reapers have done something to it. Emma overheard Nicholas discussing it with one of her top lieutenants. I also had a visit with the Rachni Queen. She's convinced that Shepard's been trying to communicate with her," said Ashley.

"Holy back again," said Kasumi. "You just can't keep Shep down."

"Apparently not," said Ashley.

"What do you mean when you say the Reapers have done something? They haven't turned Shepard into some kind of half-fucked machine, like the Collectors or the Illusive Man?" asked Zaeed.

"I really don't know the answer to that," said Ashley.

"Goddamn it," said Zaeed. "You should have told me this shit from the start."

The old mercenary headed for the stairs.

"Where are you going?" asked Ashley.

Zaeed glanced over his shoulder. "No offense, Captain, but 'livia just became a thousand fucking times more important, and I don't trust those snot-nosed kids you have watching over her to do the right thing if it all goes to hell."

He vanished.

Ashley shook her head. "I hope he

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