Days passed, people passed by and the burning feeling of grief lit inside of me. People from all over the world came by bringing flowers and blessings. He had impacted so many lives, people I hadn't known about. Organizations dropped by thanking him for all the work he did and hoped for a speedy recovery. All these people prayed and prayed, but every day I woke up waiting to see his daring eyes, I began to lose faith. I got out of my broken in cot and leaned against his hospital bed.

I grabbed my flip phone, he had wanted me to have and I clicked my second to last voicemail, listening to it till I felt sleepy, but today I didn't feel sleepy, but I felt guilty. Listening to him saying sorry, when it really should've been me saying it not him.

"I'm sorry", I told him as I placed my head in his chest. I was sorry for never being honest, about where I was from to who I am.

"I'm sorry I wasn't honest", I kissed his cold hand, the hand that had soothed me so many times, yet it seemed so lifeless in this heartbreaking moment.

"I have a sister, she'll be 12 this year, I've never met her, but I love her. I want to meet her, but I can't find her", I whispered to him letting go of my fears of letting someone in. The fear of losing him struck me the hardest, especially in this lonely hospital bed.

"12 years will mark my mother's death and the worst day of my life, and this is my second because you are not going to do die, your strong so please hold-hold on", I cried to him. I put my hand on his chest, this heart I had taken for granted more than once. I pushed, shook him away but I needed him. I listened to his steady heartbeat, over, again, and again, it soothes me to know his heart still fought.

"Please wake up", I begged him. I begged him every day before I went to bed, please wake up.

"I didn't tell you I loved you enough, because I love you with all my heart", my voice broke as tears spilled down my cheek.

"So please stay, fight like hell to stay because I love you and I want time, I want time for us to fall in love with each other, I want time for us to make little minions and love them like no tomorrow, I want time for us to grow old and die in each other's arms, not like this Nolan", I whaled to him. He needed to stay because I didn't know what I would do without him.

"Please wake up, because I can't imagine my life without you. I've been alone all my life, until you. I don't want to live without you, I don't, so please wake up", I begged him mercilessly. I needed him to be okay, I needed him in my life every day because he made it better.

I was surrounded by sunflowers cradled near me as if they all gave me a hug. I stood up as the sunflowers swayed following the wind. I patted down the sundress that flowed at my sides, the sky shined bright as I felt the hot sun hit my skin.

I looked around, until I landed my glance  to the sparkling eyes, comfort, safely, love was all I saw as I ran to his arms. He opened them widely for me.

"I missed you", I hugged him tightly as I inhaled his scent, longing to hear his everlasting voice. He stared into my eyes as he tucked wisps of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead.

"I missed you, too", He kissed my nose, as I held onto his voice like a prized possession I had just found. He picked me up and twirled me around as the flowers flowed to the wind.

"You're so beautiful", He told me as he pecked my lips and I wish I could've stayed in that moment forever, lost in his touch.

"I love you", I told him as I hugged him, never wanting to let him go.

"I love you, too.", he told me as his hair moved with the wind. His smile made mine brighter as I stared into his dreamy eyes.

"So when are we going to have those little minions?", he asked as he put his hand around my shoulder and hugged me close as he towered over me.

"You heard that", I laughed with him, knowing he wanted kids later in life, but this just made me realize how fast life goes by.

"I hear everything", he kissed my forehead so innocently as if he hadn't heard what I had told him before or he had chosen to ignore it.

"Got any names", he asked switching the subject that he knew frightened me.

"A couple, what about you", I asked him hoping he had been thinking about it and imagined me with him.

"I want a lot of kids because that means a lot of...", he trailed on as we walked along the everlasting sunflower trail that went on and on.

"Mini-vans, diapers,", I went on and on as he placed his finger on my lips softly and I quit my rambling.

"It means a lot of * beeps*", the beep played over his word at the very end as he looked up at the sky and grinned at me.

"Why was there a beep over that word?", I asked him as we kept on walking and as he heard my question he laughed away pulling me with him as we walked along the trail.

"Darling this is your mind, the most innocent place you can visit, I'm surprised they let us talk about babies", he said seriously as he leaned over me like a big teddy bear, his arms roamed my body. 

My eyes glimmered open as I  scanned my surroundings all still, all the same, I immediately shut my eyes hoping to get pulled into my dream again. I closed my eyes in every couch and position I could think of, anything to get me back to that dream, anything to get me back to him.

I knew it wasn't really him, it was my mind but it was just nice listening to his calming voice talk to me. I closed my eyes for the last time that night as I was out like a light.

"Mrs. Clementé", an idiot pushed and rubbed my shoulder waking me up from my sleep. I opened my eyes as I found myself on Nolan's chest still returning to his steady heartbeat. I peered at the man who had tapped me, and I saw the doctor. I quickly got up as he began to flip through his charts checking his numbers, files, vitals.

"Mrs. Clemente, I must tell you its been over a week since your husband's accident and he isn't showing any brain function, the coma isn't letting him heal". his words told me one thing, one thing I couldn't accept and definitely one I couldn't think of.

"He's strong, the strongest person I know", I muttered letting the doctor understand that I knew he was going to wake up and I don't give up.

"If you can't get results for my husband and me, then we will go to another hospital and the next one after that till he wakes up", I demanded as the doctor left the room. I knew he just needed time, time to heal. I leaned on his bed listening to his heartbeat, yet again. I needed him to wake up.

"Hey, can I come in?", Avery propped open the door as I wiped away the tears from my cheeks and smiled brightly at her. She came in as she put her bundle of flowers by the side, with the rest.

"Yeah- Yeah of course", I told her as she sat down at one of the seats at the beginning of the room.

"How's he doing?", she asked and I had wished with all my heart that I could give her a positive result, but I guess it wasn't enough.

"He's healing. The doctors don't believe it, but I do", I grasped his hand and held it softly as Avery let out a sigh. This past week had been chaotic for everyone, Cole was caught, Alec and Tyler took over the company and every night they would all come by sharing memories with one another.

"Thank you for being so brave", she told me as she came and sat next to me on the bare couch.

"I know he's going to wake up", I told her as she nodded her head, I had that feeling that we still had time, but I slowly felt it slipping away as each day passed.

Avery stayed the rest of the day as she was done with work, and as everyone came by, we needed to grab some food.

"You should come to pick up the food", she pulled me away from my seat, and to a mirror as I saw myself in the mirror. I looked like the grieving widow, my under-eye bags showed visibly and I looked pale and skinny, like a twig.

"Come on, let us just get you a walk", she begged me as Tyler and Alec walked in, bringing everyone drinks. They all joined in saying I could use a walk.

"It's not a good idea, what if something happens-", I couldn't leave him behind, I wanted to stay, I would stay by his bedside until he woke up.

"Nolan will still be in the same place when you come back", she said jokingly but I was too tired to yell at her. I threw on a sweater and went out of the hospital room door as Avery tugged me and they waved me off.

"Listen, my moms really worried about you", she said something I had already figured, I looked dead, I haven't showered, I haven't left his bedside except to grab food from the hospital, and I had started to lose weight drastically.

"There's no reason- I'll take better care of myself", I knew I haven't been taking the best care of myself, but it felt nice for someone to point out, she was my family and I shouldn't take her concerns for granted.

"Okay well, I may have not ordered the food in hopes that you would say that", she squealed as we walked down the busy hallways towards the exit.

"Everyone's waiting", I told her as she shushed me and made me listen to her confusing antics.

"Just listen... I am dropping you home to shower, grab some clothes, I'll order the food then we can go pick it up", she had a point, I smelled like a hospital.

"Fine, but only 10 minutes got it", she nodded as we ran to the hospital doors, as it opened we listened to the pounding rain and we looked at each other and just ran. We made it to the car as we locked ourselves in. We drove in silence as I wondered how empty the house would feel.

"We're here", the ride to the hospital was short considering the amount of traffic that flooded the streets. I got out as I grabbed the bag of clothes Alison had brought for me.

"I'll be in the kitchen", she yelled as I ventured up to the shower we shared, I unlocked the room we shared and it seemed as if time was still. The bed was made, not a crease was broken, everything was in the same place we left it that cold morning.

I walked into the bathroom where our robes stood together and I grabbed his and stashed into the bag. I shredded my clothes and stepped into the hazardous cold that scolded my body.

I stepped out clean and smelling like a watermelon, better than that hospital smell. I dried myself as I grabbed another pair of sweats from the closet and packed it in the bag. My shirts were connected to my clothes, and my eyes skimmed across the dresses and as I held onto them I remembered memories our first date, our first kiss, and our first dance. I grabbed a dress and stuffed it in my bag, just when I felt like I needed to be reminded I would hold it. I put on the black shirt he had worn and inhaled his luscious scent.

I grabbed my clothes as I shoved them in a bag and took off downstairs. Avery was lounging on the couch as she made her way to the car.

"Got everything you need", she asked as I nodded and smelled my shirt, wanting to hear him speak.

"Yes", I responded as we got in the car and I put the bag in the backseat. We drove off to pick up the food in silence as I wished we could go faster to get back to him. We arrived at the little cafe and stepped inside. The cafe was decorated these with plants and coffee beans, which gave me a headache. We waited in line for our food, as it was a big order.

The waiter came and brought us the bags of food to our car and as I pulled out my phone to pay, my phone rang, it was Alison. I prayed before I answered the phone and as I heard the words come out of her mouth, tears fell from my eyes as I listened.