First of all! *Raises hand up in the air*

I'm not finishing this story of early in a hassle or anything. I had said before I'll finish it on chapter 106 or 122 but I feel like dragging it to 23 more chapters is just stupid because there's not much to say rather than breaking their days into one chapter each.

As you know I upload long chapter with (mostly) over 3000 words or sometimes 4000, so I promise I'll give enough detail so don't murder me. 

Between chapters 103 and 106 would be the last.

PS, I had a better gif of them hugging but Wattpad doesn't allow more than 3 seconds gifs so GREAT! What a waste of forty minutes trying to edit it off. But this gif also makes me happy so, oh, well.

Started Typing On - 04/04/2019

Chapter 99- Moving On

~

Jaanvi's Pov:

Aditi hasn't called nor did she reply to my messages or mails. I had a few messages from papa and Kajal and I replied back and forth. It's Monday today. The day of our appointment. The misunderstanding we-I had on Wednesday night did effect Kiaan. He didn't try to communicate as much as before but he did talk to me just enough so I don't feel like something has changed. I understood. After opening up my eyes the next day I understood where he stood. How he's not just thinking about himself or me but the people around him. He didn't want to break any news with joy only to later snatch it away.

It made sense.

"You should go. It's about time." I blinked away from my day dream to see I'm looking straight ahead at the medical centre. I blazed my eyes to Kiaan's face, to my view he was currently taking the key out of the car and putting it inside his jeans pocket. He might have noticed me staring at me from the corner of his eye which probably made him say this, "I have a friend nearby, I'll just walk over to his place." He took no motion to get out of the car and neither did I.

"What?" I shook my head slightly pissed. He doesn't want to come in? I know for a fact my eyebrows were approximately two or three inches away from my lashes in displeased expression. This information or more like command was hard for me to digest. "You don't want to come in?" I wanted him to come.

Surprising as it sounds I've been waiting for Monday since Friday. To know if everything is fine. "You can't just expect me to walk in there alone and experience the ultrasound by myself." I was freaking out now. Wasn't he the one who was thrilled for making this appointment? I clutched onto his hand on the hand-break. "You have to come. Please." By now my hands were all over his hand and arm, squeezing it desperately.

I jerked my hand away from his and hit the steering wheel hard with a painful expression. "I have put my request in front of you, what one week or ten days ago? I know I cannot force you into keeping something you don't want. And I know if I go inside--" his eyes were staring at the entry door every passing time as his lips moved to speak. "-and if I see my baby and if you decide something ridicules I don't know what I'll do. And I've given up on trying to persuade you all along. So," He brings his face to face mine. Passing me a bitter smile he adds, "-go along, do whatever you want."

He was drained of hope, I could see right through his face. And his soul. The pain had flowed from his words. I know he hated saying what he did but he felt the need to say it-to pour it out into my face. I drop my head back on my seat, just staring at the roof top of the car.

"You can go, Jaanvi." He repeated seeing I was stuck to my seat like a suborn child.

"Papa won't forgive me." I choked on the sentence. Struggling to keep my tears silent I kept wiping them away furiously not bothering about how stupid I looked. I had to accept the truth. Just as good as I did with my mother's death. "I've given up trying to bury my positive side under the ground, Kiaan. I can deny everything, I have been doing that but I can't do it anymore. Not when I know papa would get hurt. You'll get hurt. I will get hurt. I accept, I'll regret this in future. I'd die from the guilt of killing my child" It was more than crying for me now. It was a way of explaining everything I felt for the past month. I let it all out. Out and open.

"I called him yesterday." I turned to face Kiaan with my teary eyes. He looked right back at my bloodshot red eyes looking a bit blown away from my confession. "I as-asked him i-if I've got room in his heart after committing all these mistakes a-a-and he said no." I shook my head, my lips trembling in sadness. "He said he'll never talk to me or reach out to me if I do anything stupid again. He'll forget me, Kiaan. He'll never keep in contact with me if he finds out I went ahead with an abortion. I hate to admit but he's weak. He's not strong at heart and i-I don't know h-h-how long he'll live to se--"

My voice had trailed off into Kiaan's shoulder. He ran his hands down my back to sooth away the pain. I sobbed and sobbed into his arms burying my face into his chest, panting hard to catch my unfaithful breath. I remembered the sour look in his face, the anger he had that he kept to himself after my suicide attempt. I don't know how he does it but he's great at hiding his anger and real emotions. How he feels is always a mystery. But today morning when I FaceTimed him after a whole month of not seeing his face I saw the raw and fresh disappointment.

I didn't inform him anything about expecting a child but I did indirectly ask if he'd forgive me once again for my stupidity. He said he wouldn't. Just that, and he hung up on me. I caught the glimpse of sigh and regret in his eyes. Regret for letting me live I think. I didn't want his proudness turn into shame because of me. 

I've been so stubborn or showing how I'm worried about the child turning someone I despise but at the end I can't ignore now badly I always dreamt of having my own family. How I wanted a little finger curled around my finger and a smile on the little innocent face lightening my horrible day.

I know Kiaan wants to be a father. I knew it from the start. He-believe it or not but he's surprisingly stayed in his limit. He hasn't taunted me or made me feel terrible for being a selfish women. A women who doesn't want her child to see the light because she's got some childish doubts, he never made me feel like I'm the worst women alive. He never forced me into making this decision. Yes, he tried to influence me a lot with all the pros but he said something last night that helped me reach this decision quicker than I had expected.

'If the doctor says you're unhealthy and unfit for the child,' he sighed. 'W-w-we'll drop it.'

'What if I can never be a mother again then?'

'Then that's our fate. Adoption is always an option.'

He wanted his own child so badly, do desperately but not if I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't possible ignore all these things now. I tried but I couldn't, especially not after reading so many articles last night about pregnancy and babies.

"I don't want to upset anyone. I don't want to ruin my steady life anymore, Kiaan." His hug was stronger and the purest than anything. I missed it. I missed feeling this warmth of his radiating into my body. So strong yet so comforting and assuring that he's here for me. "I want this baby. I always wanted it but i-i-I was too scared. My Ma must have been scared as well Kiaan but she had me. Fate can't be changed. It can't. And I was trying to change it. If our baby is meant to live then it will. I-I h-have no right to take an innocent life. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be." I sniffed away the remaining tears and smiled seeing Kiaan's white t-shirt.

"You need to stop wearing white because in some time it'll be all dirty." I giggled hiding away my blush under my open wavy hair. I fixed up his collar, pressing onto it carefully to keep it in place.

"I'll just get new white shirts then." He joked, blinking away his unshed tears. I couldn't help but wonder, how could he hide his tears all this time? After so long I saw the real grin flashing across his features. His dimples in view for my delight and his sharp jaw only effecting me to god knows how much. "Can I kiss you? I wasn't even allowed to hold your hand for one freakin' month." He whined like a little kid. Kid.

'Idiot wants another idiot.' I remember I said this. Or I thought of this after our donkey and plants talk. As normal or abnormal as it sounds it still makes me laugh. I held onto Kiaan's hand throwing my head back to fall into a fit of laughter. I totally called my own future child an idiot. "What an amazing mother." I muttered under my breath. I'm sure my laugh echoed around the car just as much as it did into my ears, bounding up and down.

"Ouch." I pressed my fingers onto my head where I hit myself accidently from all the laughing.

"Twenty-five year old married and pregnant idiot." Kiaan muttered gently pressing his hand into my temple pushing me back with a smile. "You're so careless."

I frowned, following his steps outside of the car. Closing the door with a thud I walked around the car walking into the clinic with him beside me. "I travelled on that bus alone. A L O N E." I spelt empathizing every single letter so it process inside his brain faster than the usual slow speed. "Need the definition?" I rolled my eyes from his loud and clear 'Mrs Jaanvi Rujput,' giving to the receptionist.

"Thank you." He smiled at the old blond lady and I did the same. We were sitting closer to the open window. "You weren't alone because other people were inside the bus as well." He responded scoffing at me like he just won a case against his enemy. Enemy. I thought I was marrying someone I hated, I thought I'd hate him my whole life. How stupid I was thinking about ways of ending up having a divorce and here I am, sitting inside a clinic to see my baby. Our baby. How stupid I was to never notice you.

"No reply? Wow, I felt like a lawyer right there. I'm sure the opponent just doesn't bother replying back to an intelligent lawyer who basically won the case with his evidence. I imagine how male lawyer's life turn out at home. Do you think they record their wives voice when she's fake promising 'I'll never fight with you,' in those New Year resolution and the next day, bang goes the plates. White plates." His deep husky voice was lacing with joy.

I peek a little to see him locking his hands together. Nervous. But he doesn't want to show it. I supress my smile looking up at him to see Kiaan looking at the pictures hanging on the wall in front of us. He was trying to divert his excitement and nervousness by shrugging his stiff shoulders but it wasn't working.

I felt happy. Happy because he was sitting next to me even though I was totally messed up. Expected or not expected but I never imagined Kiaan to be so patient enough to handle someone like me or stand with his head up high, always being by my side. I know for the rest of my life he'd be there. Whether I stop talking, or cry all day, talk about couches or plants or talk to that little purple flower, I just know he'd be there.

He's not a firework to lighten up my day with dinner dates or to dance around to my favourite music-I'd like that but I don't complain-he's busy. A busy person, mostly because he's been worried about me and our families but he walks into the house with his best fake smile. A smile he thinks I can't read or judge but I can. He just doesn't show how tired or stressed out he is. I know he'll never show it.

And at a certain point, I'm happy he doesn't. With his family-with our soon-to-be family he'll drop all his tension outside our door and become just a loving father, husband, brother, son and son-in-law. He doesn't mix his life, and I appreciate that. It's so delighting to see his face flashing with excitement and joy with nervousness at the same time. I release a breath like I couldn't breathe properly before when he wasn't close or happy like today. It's him that creates the warmth in my soul, him that fills me full of love and keeps the fire burning in my eyes. If that isn't happiness I don't know what is.

"Jaanvi." He hisses with his anxious voice into my ear. I move back a little, startled seeing his face so close to mine in public. I give him a look to which he just rolls his eyes. "I was only whispering. Geez."

"What?" I ask starting to read the magazine.

"Do you think it's a girl or boy?" His raspy whisper never fails to send chills down my spine like I've heard him speak for the first time. My blood runs up from my veins and legs into my brain registering his question into my skull. My smile grows of it's own accord and at this point I don't even want to hide the blush and smile creeping in my features. I shred my eyes from the magazine to his face watching me a satisfying grin after seeing my reaction to his question.

Yeah, he saw the effect and I'm not bothered at all. "I don't know." I shrug. "I want both. I mean, I'll accept whoever it is."

"You're saying it as if your Pizza order went wrong but you're willing to eat it anyway." I looked up at him in horrified expression with a hint of amusement with his examples. Jacinda and Kiaan can work together. She talks about stationary and he talks about food. He rolled his eyes putting his ankle onto his thigh, sitting just like a teen guy would most of the time. "Get a little serious over here."

"Well," I stated biting my inner cheek to prevent myself from laughing loudly. "If the order goes wrong it's all your fault. I've got great gene's but I can't do anything rather than accept that baby." I tenderly finished and taped my palm flat onto his thigh in a funny manner to irritate him.

'Aunty you're so beautiful, how did you give birth to a pig.' I was mean to him. And the person who I purposely called 'pig' was now my life. I licked my lips, touching the bridge of my nose to see Kiaan giving me those narrow eyes and his two fingers going closer to his eyes then on me. Yeah, yeah, 'I'm watching you.'

"I've got great genes ok? If our baby turns out a hunk and a gorgeous princess it's because of me. I did all the work." My mouth hung open. I diverted my eyes away from his zipping my hanging jaw quickly. Honesty though! "Someone's in denial." He whispered into my ear using his soft and lightest tone ever.

"S-s-shut u-up."

"That's a good posit--"

My hang clasp into my ear to block away his dirtier brain than mine. The lady sitting in front of me gave me a look and I just looked away. "Can you please not embarrass me?" I whisper hissed into his ear. Can I just bite his ear off?

"I'm being honest. If we're having this baby it's because I was the domi--"

"Because I let you dominate. Just shut your mouth or I'll put those sharp scissor--" I was interrupted from the building argument by the doctor's voice.

"Mrs Jaanvi Rajput?"

I jumped up from my seat like those goody-students do every single time they know the answer to some question asked. "Yes, t-that's me." I croak clearing my throat. Kiaan passed me a smug yet handsome smirk walking beside me into the room.

~

I had finished doing some tests and yes, I was pregnant for sure. Kiaan just couldn't shut his mouth. He started asking the doctor questions like 'How far is she? What should she be eating? Is milk ok for her? And ice cream because it's cold, it fine right? She can walk up the stairs right? Is the wind ok for her if we walk around the beach? Oh, and she shouldn't be near the water right? Should she starts eating chicken because she's vegetarian since forever? How much water should she be having?' And on, and on and on.

The doctor was smiling down at me while pointing at the screen. "Your wife is five weeks along Mr Rajput." I wanted to laugh every time she pronounced our names. She was Irish, and her accent but beautiful but she really did butcher our names. "And this is your baby."

I've seen in movies how couples get all emotional and speechless after seeing their child for the first time but I felt numb for the first few minutes. Is that it? My eyes were so puzzled that I moved from the bed a little so get a clear look at the screen. "T-that's o-our ba--"

"Yes." Kiaan whispered with a thick voice like it was hard for him to speak up. I looked at him noticing his palms open and looked soft, his eyes boring into the screen like he's seeing something special, something or someone important. My husband has glimpse of fresh tears pouring down his cheeks and dripping like raindrops on the floor.

The doctor gave us a moment walking out to get the printed report and photo of the ultrasound. Kiaan walks closer to the screen and touched it, his fingers running on the outline of our baby. "I-it's s-so little." I chuckled through my own thick emotions and held his hand.

"A-a-and i-I wanted to kill it." I  let my shoulders slam hard on the bed, my tears by now obviously soaking up on side of the pillow and some tears rolled into my ears.

Kiaan wipes away my tears and kisses my forehead with a genuinely speechless look covering his face from the moment he saw out child. "We're past that. We're past it, Ariel." It sometimes worried me how he sealed up his emotions like he had none. It could be dangerous but seeing his pure and real and fresh expressions and the love in his eyes for our unborn child my tension and worry about the unpredictable future was gone.

"I'm sorry." I whispered for everything I had done in the past. For causing him all the trouble. For being so quiet and selfish because I was hurt. For just not sharing my hidden frustration on Juhi. I was sorry. But more than that I was sorry for my child. For earning a mother like me. I wasn't perfect and I knew I'll never be the perfect mother because I've never had my own but I'll do everything I can to rip this guilt away from my chest.

Guilt that once I wished to abort my child.

Children are equal to their parents, not matter if you have two or three or more. For me, it'll be the same but I know I'd have a soft corner for my first. Because I didn't wanted it.

"No. I'm thankful to you, Ariel." Kiaan kneeled down on the floor, his face just above my head from the distance of a few inches. "Thank you for trying to move on though I know it's hard. Very hard. Thank you for giving our baby a chance. And me a chance." And at that moment I was sure of one thing.

I hadn't married my enemy. I married my first crush. Unlike others, my first crush turned out a blessing.

"I want to tell our families." I squeezed his fingers into my palms. "I want to tell them. I want to. I want to. I want to." With every repeating sentence my voice rose and rose into a loud chirping smile. He smiled cupping my face with a nod.

"We'll video call them all at the same time." And we decided to do just that once we reach home from the clinic, smiling the whole way back with stupid questions popping into our heads. Kiaan's first order more like warning was, 'I'll murder any guy who comes near my daughter.' The baby isn't even born and he's already possessive.

Was life getting easier? Maybe. I was happy to jump over any hurdles throughout my life if in