64- Wife Or Baby?

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I'm proud of this chapter. I hope you are too, lol.

Chapter NOT edited

Started Typing On - 22/02/2019

Chapter 64- Wife Or Baby?

~

Author's Pov:

Her joyful and excited husband had made her sit inside the car for least twenty minutes before coming into the parking lot. During the whole twenty minutes Jaanvi played music from Kiaan's phone. Humming to the tunes she thought about her life. Her childhood, adulthood-from graduating to opening up the café and now married. And his confession.

She couldn't get it out of her head. He was so genuine and sounded too honest for her to ignore. I do really like him. But the feeling of love was not quiet there. She fell for him out of sweet little gestures, for example the cake cutting on her mother's birthday but she wanted to be sure. Jaanvi didn't want to go back from her words. She didn't want to say 'I love you too.' To only later say, 'I'm falling out of love with you.' She wanted to say those three magical words back to him when she felt they were coming out of her heart, just like his.

'aati hai woh aise chal ke

jaise jannat mein raheti hai

dekhti hai sabko aaise

jaise sabko woh saheti hai

par gusse main jab aaye

aur aankhein woh dikhlaye

ladte ladte galti se muskaaye

my dil goes mmmm'

(English Translation)

She walks in such as manner

as if she resides in heaven

She looks at everyone

as if she must tolerate them all

But when she gets angry

and stares at you with those eyes

then suddenly she begins to smile

my heart goes mmmm (hums)

She sang along to the song, smiling with her eyes closed. Music was always her survivor when she was angry, sad or worried. She didn't notice or hear when Kiaan sat on the driver's seat, watching her with adoration in his eyes.

"This song is made for you." He broke her voice from all the singing. She opened her eyes, a bit embarrassed that he heard her sing. Did I sound like an owl or dead bird? She decided to not bother asking.

"Oh shh." She avoided eye contact, laying her head on the window, grinning to herself.

"Well, you do act like your tolerating everyone." He raised his voice over the music so she could hear him. Turning the car engine on, he started driving onto the highway. Speeding, he turned the volume down a little.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked, her voice low but audible. He nodded, glancing at her for a second to catch her expressions, trying to find out whether it was something serious coming up or a casual conversation. Serious. He noticed the strange look on her face.

Jaanvi pushed the open hair behind her ear, sitting on her seat in Indian style, preparing herself for the question. "I-if we have a baby in fut--" she was already hesitating and blushing at the thought, Kiaan added the spices on top to tease her.

He scoffed, determinedly. "Not 'if,' it should be 'when,' we'll have our own babies one day, Ariel." She shot him a look, telling him to shut up. Jaanvi wanted to see his reaction, judge him on the bases of his thoughts and expressions but turned her face to the other direction to hide the tint of pink blooming in her cheeks.

"Imagine what happened to my mum happens to m--"

She heard a frustrated sigh from him, earning her to look at him. His jaw was clenched, his fingers were tightly wrapped around the steering wheels, his strong blue veins popping up on his arms since he wore a sleeveless top. "Why would you say that?" He raised his voice, increasing the speed. "Why so negative? Why think about something like this Jaanvi!?" He just needed to be a little louder to be called, 'shouting.'

She flinched from his rude tone, and increasing volume including the speed. "P-please slow down." She hated those people who speeded their cars up. Ever since Paul Walker died, she's had this weird disliking of speed, even if it's above sixty, and over her husband was driving at hundred.

Her afraid eyes landed on the little screen, seeing the speed increasing even more. She put her trembling hand on his elbow, "S-slow. P-please, i-it scares me."

Realising the speed was one of her many fears he groaned in anger. Now I can't even speed. "Answer Jaanvi!" he yelled, now driving at a normal pace, turning into a busy road. His eyes were on the road but head somewhere else.

"I'm just asking ok? Being prepared is good!" She hurried, tripping over her sentence a little. Placing her hand on her chest, she let out a deep breath, closing her afraid eyes.

"Then we aren't fully prepared are we?" He muttered, his jaw hard and tight as a knife. "Move along! Bastard!" He yelled, blowing the horn to one of the slow drivers in anger.

"Why are you lashing out at him? Yell at me!" His loud volume was irritating her now. She looked at him, studying his face. All she could see was a furious Kiaan.

"Isn't that what you do? I mean you have been lashing out at me for the past fifteen years!" He exclaimed, blowing the horn again impatiently. Once the car ahead of him move aside, Kiaan zoomed away turning hard left into a quiet street. She stayed quiet, agreeing with him. He's not wrong.

"Aren't you going to continue talking about it? Or are you scared at the mention of preparing you for a baby huh?" He turned his head, shooting her a look. His eyes furious. How can she even say that? Her husband's eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold and hard. At the moment she realised how affected he was from her question.

"You can put that sentence in a better phrase." She shifted in her seat, looking out the window.

"But why? We all know the proc--"

"Just forget it. Forget it that I asked!" She closed her eyes. I asked because I wanted to know. I don't want another Jaanvi to live the way I do.

"Fine!" His voice was urgent, she could tell he was thinking about what she asked. "I hope, and I pray this doesn't happen but if it does I'd ask the doctor to do whatever but save you. I'm living for you damn it! Not some baby! Of course I want my own kids, running into my arms when I walk into the house all tried from working, calling me 'Daddy,' or 'papa,' but I don't want it more than you!" he explained, still angry from his tone.

"What am I going to do with a motherless child? How will I live without you? I'm not uncle, I don't have a big heart to love someone who may have been the reason behind my wives death even though the baby is equally mine as well as you. I mean it didn't just jump into you wo--" he realised what he had said. Fuck. He zipped his mouth, blowing air from his mouth.

I just told her that she may have been the reason behind her mother's death.

"I didn't mean it like th--"

She shrugged, blinking her eyes. "Well, it is kinda true." She sighed. She rubbed her face into her palms. There was a long silence filling up the car.

They reached the place.

The beach stretched out alongside the water, she expected to see a lot of people around but to her surprise there were only some couples. Four people in total, not including them. There was a different feeling being at the beach. She was never a swimming fan until she met Kiaan. Never a water baby, until she stepped out of her comfort zone. Now her comfort was within the beach, the water.

She remained quiet, just like Kiaan, breathing deeply of ocean carried air, listening to the percussion of waves. A satisfied smiled curved into her light red lips seeing the waves crashing and touching the hot sand.

The couple made their way to the sand in silence. Kiaan still couldn't wrap his head around the sudden urge of the question. He walked quietly, hearing the loud ocean growl. For the first time he didn't feel like swimming.

Glancing up at her rarely quiet husband, she entwined her hand into his, holding them firmly. He looked up at her, thinking, what is she up to? She watched their feet as they walked towards the water.

"You knew I wanted to come here." She whispered.

"Yeah, well, we both like the water." He shrugged, not wanting to be rude by remaining quiet for long. The question must be answered according to him.

"We do." she smiled, taking her slippers off, letting the cold water touch her feet. "I asked you that question because I don't want any other kid to have a childhood like me. I don't want my baby to live like me. Broken. Hurt. Sad. Lonely. And scared. I love my dad you know? Like a lot, but-I think he's been a perfect mother and father but sometime." She stopped walking, ashamed to talk further on.

"Just think of me as your best friend, not husband." He squeezed her hand and kissed the back of her hand. As his soft lips touched her skin she nodded.

"No matter how close you are to you father, no matter how much you love him there are always awkward moments Kiaan." She said, looking down at her feet, tapping her foot onto the water. "I was thirteen, i-i-I s-s--" she paused, feeling her cheeks turning redder than she already was. He snaked his hand on her waist, pulling her closer to him. Pressing her onto him, passing a soft smile.

He knew what she was going to say but wanted her to confess it by herself.

"I started my period." She didn't hesitate this time. "I don't think we were educated about it that time, or I didn't pay attention to the lecture. My d-dadi (Grandma) wasn't home. Chachi (aunty) never cared about me. She was just doing formality of even cooking for my father and me. Her whole day started and ended with Rashi and Jay. I don't blame her, I mean she didn't carry me in her womb for eight months." Jaanvi smiled a little, sadly.

"She always gave me a disgusted look so going to her for help was unquestionable. I went to dad. I shared everything with him Kiaan. Everything. Without being shy, b-but this particular day was super embarrassing. I thought I was unpure or dying. I remember he was doing some work on his desk, when I walked over to him, crying into his arms." Her voice choked towards the end.

Kiaan wasn't a girl, he doesn't know how she must have felt but he felt bad. More than that he was angry at Juhi for not even being a nice mature women.

"I told him I was bleeding. He was shocked but quickly recovered his expressions saying, 'It's ok. It's normal Jaave.' He showed me h-h-how t-to wear it. Imagine your father learning his daughter got her first period. Imagine her father showing her how to use a pad. Yes, its normal but I still felt embarrassed." Her kept her eyes down, muttering everything as the water kept touching her feet.

"I love your father." He finally said.

"I do too." She smiled remembering her Hero's face. "A child needs both their parents, definitely, but a girl needs her mother Kiaan. Imagine what would have happened if my father wasn't educated? Would I be bleeding the whole day not knowing what to do if he was narrow minded thinking all this was 'shameful,' until my grandma came home? I don't hold grudges but I can't forget it. It's like one moment I don't hate Juhi the next I do. I feel like I'm going crazy."

"You're not going crazy. You just don't want to hate someone, but it's not your fault if you do." he said what he felt was right in his opinion. "Is this why you asked me? About making a decision if I were to choose between you and our baby."

"Yes." She whispered. "I'm over thinking. I know and I accept but I wanted to know. I-I just want to explain you that a girl has to face many problems if she doesn't have a mother. I'm not being selfish for my life by asking you to save me if needed, I would never. No parent, no mother wants to kill her child but I've been through it. I know the feeling of asking your father to buy you pads. I know the feeling of going to shops with your father, telling him to stop buying you singlets and start buying bras. I know it all. My dad did all my shopping. My grandma was old, she still is." Jaanvi chuckled a little.

"She doesn't stay out much. She's weak. My mother family don't even know I exist I think. Therefore, I had my father. Only him. He did everything for me. From feeding me food to helping me sleep in a dark room. He's my everything Kiaan. That's what I didn't want to get married. That's why I asked him to transfer the property into my name." they walked along the sand, hand in hand both engaged in the deep conversation.

"You're the mature one in our relationship Kiaan." I accepted, very happy to praise him, which she hardly did. "I don't want to order you but I just want you to understand that a girl without a mother isn't the best thing. I have my father, I love him to death but I still miss my mum. Yes, I'm sure I'd probably still be a daddy's girl but a mother is a mother. I won't be angry or disappointed if we have a son and you choose him over me, j-just think practically about the girl."

"This won't happen." He whispered. His voice breaking with his throat going dry and flowing with emotions. Her words were getting onto him. He could already feel his hear crying. "It won't happen."

"I'd be the happiest if it doesn't. But to make my heart feel lighter I had to share this with you beforehand."

He noticed her face, she was smiling a little but the emotions lingering behind that smile was obvious. Do something. He thought, biting his inner cheek.

Once the idea popped on his head, Kiaan pulled Jaanvi in his arms. Holding her close to his chest, her hands on his shoulders and his on her waist, looking into each other eyes.

"Does this mean you're ready?"

"Did I say 'I love you too?'" she asked, raising her eyebrows at him. He shook his head negatively, pouting like a little baby. "Then?" She span around, pushing him back. Kiaan landed on his back, the water now soaking up his shorts and top up, making them go one shade darker. Jaanvi laughed, clutching her stomach to stop before Kiaan gets up.

"Ouch!" He said, putting his hand on his heart dramatically making Jaanvi laugh even more. "this hurts My Lady." She showed him her tongue, trying to run away into the forest. "Oh I'm catching you Stubborn Cat!" he roared in excitement. She heard him getting up from the water, que for her to start running.

The laugh was in both of their eyes, in the way that their faces changed into a vision of the relaxed joy. It wasn't even about their faces, it was all about their laugh, which came from within. They were both laughing uproariously.

Married My Enemy

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