~~~

[.17.2.10]

The stars were out by the time Max left his parents' estate. His phone had died merely a minute ago, the radio was off and so the only music was the engine; his mustang was impeccable at night.

At a small intersection that consisted only of an abandoned gas station, the Galpin halted at three traffic lights turning red. Rubbing his eyes, Max observed the isolated area. Anchors of grass stretched itself across the fields and silhouettes of barns stood motionless.

The breeze blowing through his window scented the interior of the car with cicadas and crickets, growing things and dying things. Part of him wanted to stay like that, half-baked in peace, but classes would take up much of his time and he had to drag Raymond through his English studies. St. Kathrine Academy gladly opened in a few hours making no time for slumber.

"Sleep would have to wait." He told himself.

He glanced up at the sky again, the stars were still beaming bright. He wondered if Marlowe was looking down at him. He hoped not. Marlowe would kill him if he found out he was sitting around waiting for his return.

In the rear-view mirror he caught a glimpse of his mother, all heavy-jawed and elegant. Silken hair and deep-set eyes peaking the highest hazel, everything about his reflection suggested valor and opulent. His parents, Jack Yios and Annette Beth carefully hand-crafted him to be a product of brilliance. A youthful of happiness. He was a complex, liberal thing layered in legacy, if only he knew his full potential.

The lights turned neon green, and he drove off.

~~~

"Talk to me, Teddy."

Doctor Roe gazed his onyx-colored eyes over to observe the young scholar once more. She positioned herself modestly on the wooden chair, holding a lit cigarette in her left hand. He noticed her eyes had become red-rimmed and hollow since the last visit. Gripping the ball-point pen he took note of this, willing to review her report after their session.

"Teddy, are you alright?" His placid voice echoed off the cerulean-colored walls once again.

"Why would I be alright, Doctor Roe?" Her voice soft and spacious staggered with a remorseful tone. "I saw someone commit suicide, why on earth would I be alright?"

Doctor Roe couldn't answer that question properly and still feel humble about himself, because sometimes Teddy's grief haunted her.

It quartered her, stalked her, entered her mind with only one desire to kill off all of the innocence she had left. Sometimes it moaned in her ears, waiting for her reaction and sometimes - only just sometimes - it made her go so still, it couldn't sense she was there and with luck, went away. Nonetheless today wasn't one of those easy days. He knew she felt dreadful and the early morning air was full of thoughts and things she couldn't block away.

"Teddy?"

"Doctor Roe?"

"The last time I saw you, you were better. Much more happier than you are now."

He remembered there were days Teddy told him in distinctive detail about the shore. How the golden specks of sand glistened with the sun and how the vast ocean reflected bright indigo waves when the tides reached their peaks. Yet, just in a few weeks these relaxing memories became so faint.

Powerless.

Ineffective.

Pounding wars of dead souls echoed loud as horrendous monsters preyed her from afar, waiting for the right moment her skin touched the surface. Salt scratched her throat and sea water filled her lungs. Toxic depth-chilling, brain killing water evoked her skin and she swore a thousand icicles dug into her dying body every millimeter down she went with him. Doctor Roe didn't have to note anything to remember how Teddy Wallace's life ended all thanks to Marlowe's suicide and Jesus Christ that scared him.

"Are you happy, Roe?" Teddy proposed letting her knuckles rupture against the silence.

"No, I'm not happy. I wish you open up more, Teddy. Repressed emotions causes more damaged tendencies and perhaps, suicidal thoughts..." And he almost said she was broken as well, that she was just going through something chaotic. That a few doses of the green pills should help the voices go away but Teddy didn't have those problems.

Teddy was different.

It wasn't just her bloody mouth and trembling hands that shook repeatedly. No. The problem was Teddy existed ten steps behind her body. She was a little off-centered, a little delusional, and a little weary too. It shown in her eyes, her skin, her bones. It was every wrong signal of death wrapping itself around Teddy, making her hazardous to others.

Doctor Roe just wanted to fix that, all of that.

"I never said I was suicidal, Doctor Roe."

"I never said you were, Teddy." He placed the pen and clipboard on his desk before taking the cigarette from her manicured hand, ashing it against a silver tray. Fixing his glasses he adjusted his thoughts, the clock struck four a.m.

Silence seeped into the stale room aching for sound by the time Doctor Roe realized he had gone quiet far too long. She wasn't talking to him again, but he never felt ignored. He had learned that Teddy never spoke her thoughts, making sessions incredibly difficult when he attempted to communicate with her.

"I'm leaving now."

"No, wait a moment Ms. Wallace!" He faltered.

"What is it?"

"I am afraid you'll begin to think wrongly of yourself when St. Kathrine Academy opens in a few hours. Will you be strong enough to handle it?"

"Handle what?"

"The pressure."

"I don't know, Doctor Roe."

~~~

St. Kathrine Academy was the epitome of old money.

Made solely for the pursuit of education, the historic buildings were the highlights of fortune. As summer ended lavish cars reappeared, bringing back wealthy bastards all fitted in plaid pants, velvet skirts, pullovers and clothing from the year's trend. It wasn't until the gates opened back up, they all returned as scholars tailored in the Katherine uniform that Teddy managed to blend in with ease.

Before lessons even commenced hair got slicked and skin was cleaned. Postures were perfected, teeth were brushed white and manners were spoken like poetic verses. Now everywhere Teddy glanced scholars loitered around the courtyard, chattering on about where they summered in mellow voices. All under one blue sky handshakes were giving out, smiles glistened gleefully and hugs became tighter.

Teddy kicked a piece of gravel.

It skipped across the cement in front of her before landing in the Italian rose garden. Shielding away from the burning sun, she headed down one of the colonnades until she reached the wooden door of her mathematics class. There was nothing guilty about the moment except that she burned with guilt and regret. Two glorious feelings of being exposed to reality.

She cracked her index finger. The sound echoing off the tall columns above as she opened the door. Sitting down Kol hurled himself into the desk beside her, they were the only two in the classroom; he had arrived from Study Hall across campus.

Kol Phillips was nothing to Teddy Wallace. They were friendly, but not friends. He was arrogant and sluggish, a rich bastard with filthy hickory hair left too long for her liking.

"I heard a thing or two about you, Teddy Wallace." He chuckled while flipping pages in his mathematics book.

"Oh really?" She glanced around at the room as if she expected to see that it had changed over the months. Of course it had not: wooden floors tracked the place and shelves crowded with tattered math books written in Spanish and English and French concave the walls.

"Yeah." Kol smirked before going up to the board to write something in his beautiful handwriting. "They say you killed Marlowe."

One by one memories launched forward from the edges of her mind. Passing guilt. Dodging regret. Stopping at disappointment. It ached stronger than anger and all Teddy wanted him to do was speak about something not dead. She wanted to cry but instead she breathed out slowly. "I wouldn't hurt a fly, Kol Phillips."

He shrugged his shoulders. "That doesn't necessarily mean you wouldn't hurt a human either, Wallace."

"Is that all you're good for? Saying rumors that aren't true." She asked, tapping her pencil on the desk. If not mistakenly, Teddy was kinetic.

"Pretty much."

"You're pathetic."

"You're beautiful." He simpered back.

The chalk squeaked harshly against the board as he jabbed down a numerical equation. Although he wasn't smiling Teddy observed him with focused eyes. For one moment, she tried to imagine that he was a teacher and not a scholar. It was impossible. It didn't exist in this world. She couldn't decide if it was how he shoved up his sleeves, his AirPods in his ears or the careless way he threw his expensive blazer on his desk. Kol Phillips didn't have that donnish appeal to her, maybe in his next life.

"My mother always said it was impolite to stare."

"It doesn't feel good, does it? Being watched."

"No." He admitted sliding back in the desk beside her. On the chalkboard Kol's math problem was half solved dued to his lack of effort. Rubbing his chin he tossed the chalk to her. "Well, Wallace maybe you could finish it for me."

"Jesus, Kol—" She began before voices went vival outside the door. Immediately Teddy put down Kol's chalk. Kol sat upward fast, putting his blazer on the back of his chair. Both scholars knew what the voices meant: Lessons would begin.

"Oh, fucking great!" Kol groaned.

The wooden door creaked abruptly, bringing in students all cloaked in glory.

~~~

Just like Kol had predicted Dining Hall had brought rumors to the tables and every set of eyes watched Teddy. Suddenly, she didn't have an appetite for any of the fresh platters being served, she found herself on the rooftop of the academy. She had been there many times, watching the breathtaking view of the thick forestry in the background of the town.

Just as she pushed open the metal door, she found four scholars already up there.

Great.

Teddy, largely against her curiosity and in the motions of turning to catch the rooftop door, glanced over at the four boys on the roof. Together, they formed a wild owl-like creature too grand to be called a mere bird. They moved hypnotically conjoined by the hips from levels of trust. They trusted each other but not enough Teddy couldn't take them apart. The first one stood godly, like he could rule the whole world if he wasn't so indolent. The second was vigilant and handsome; a soldier suitable for war. The third was vile, a swarthy lad yielding a cigarette. And the fourth was just poised. It was not the right description for him by all means, but it was close. Close enough, it felt he made the word prevalent.

Perhaps, too fucking close.

Teddy was going to leave them as they were, happily engaged in a conversation not meant for her ears, but before she could do that they all stared back. Her heart stopped. Between the rumors that weren't true and the selfish eyes judging her, she wasn't sure how much longer she could go. The silence made her blood as hot as the air that crept around. Bereft of any wind the leaves around them hung limp until they fell off on their own, there was no whispering noise or rustling. Just ear-piercing silence so loud it made her deaf.

"Yo sweetheart, you lookin' for someone?" The swarthy lad announced blowing smoke into the air, breaking the suffocating silence.

~~~

I appreciate you♡

-TABLEAUXVIVID