Do you love tragedies and everything that breaks the heart?

— Friedrich Nietzsche

✵

Him

"You never told me you were going to see your mother's grave," she says as she finishes reading the letter his mother has left him and rolls it back, putting it in its case but not handing it to him.

He lifts one shoulder in slight embarrassment, slight dismay. "It is difficult to talk about failed hopes. There is a difference when you live with a suspicion of losing someone forever and when it becomes a reality. In the former case, there is still a hope that allows you to dream. And when you dream, you are happy, habibti. But when dreams break, life is not the same anymore."

Noura doesn't answer him, lowering her eyes to the letter case in her hand. Then putting it aside, she cups the side of his jaw and caresses it lovingly, gazing at him fondly.

"But I have you and you have I. And if God wills it, we'll have a life no less than a dream-- we'll have a family of which we dream. So no matter if life cannot be the same, janem, what doesn't change is that there's still someone to love you."

He smiles at her. She returns it softly, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. He pulls back to take out his mother's ring from his pocket and holds her hand in his. Slowly, he slips the ring on her finger as she watches him curiously.

"This was my father's gift to my mother when they got married. It belongs to you now."

She only squeezes his hand in response, probably seeing the pain on his face. But the ache in his heart will dull with time. He may never forget, but he will learn to live with it. Until then when the knife is blunt and can no more hurt, he might keep bleeding.

Lowering his head to her uninjured shoulder, he closes his eyes and she gently begins stroke his hair. If he ever cries on her shoulder, she never let him know. In silence, she offers him her shoulder.

Her

The eyes do not tire gazing at their beloved. The eyes marvel at the beauty of them. For what the heart loves, it loves through them. And what could a glance do for her. A stolen glimpse can never satisfy her longing. Those eyes have longed for him to stare until forever.

He looks up at her, catching her staring, and smiles as he licks the honey off his fingers. If her face has turned warm, she's too captivated by him to notice-- drowned into his own eyes to resurface into sanity. Adam lifts a piece of bread with honey to her mouth.

"Eat. Let yourself and my child be healthy. You can gaze at me all you want afterwards. I will never complain."

She takes a bite of the bread and smiles, glancing away. "Don't let it get to your head."

"I will let it get to my head, Noura. And to my heart as well."

Noura shifts her attention back to him. He takes a bite of the bread himself before putting more honey on it and extending it towards her. She takes another bite, unable to look away. Adam smiles again.

"Careful, lest you want to see me blushing. Those eyes of yours have something different today," he remarks.

She sucks in her cheeks to keep herself from laughing, feigning to be surprised. "A man like you can blush?"

"I'm a man of shame."

"Who is hardly ever shy of me."

"I might be if you continue doing this."

"Doing what?"

"Gaze at me with that look in your eyes."

"What look?"

"Of love." He leans forward until they are an inch apart, smirking slyly-- teasingly. "You love me. And I'm letting it get to my head."

She grazes his cheekbone in a feather touch, whispering in a hushed voice, "You already knew that I do. You've known since a long time ago."

"It's different," he repeats, growing serious. "It has the fear of loss in it, but also the power to destroy to save our love. It reminds me of the time when you learnt the truth about me, that I was Al Shafay, and the fear to lose you and to destroy for you could overpower me. It's a kind of desperation where you can no more imagine a life without another-- where the world comes to an end. It can be dangerous, zawjati (my wife)."

Noura tilts her head inquisitively. "Then what do you suggest, my Ameer?"

"The world does not end when a life ends, hayati. Never let desperation overpower you. Love me, but never let this love destroy you. For it isn't only I who needs you. And it isn't only I you live for."

He kisses her forehead and brings his hand to her belly, rubbing it affectionately. She smiles and places her hand atop his, and the corners of his mouth curve up once more.

"If God blesses us with a son, we will name him Harun."

Noura nods in agreement, clearly understanding his choice of name after reading his mother's letter.

"God willing," she adds.

He pulls back and picks up a glass of milk from the breakfast table, holding it out for her.

"Now drink it. Eat well so your wound may heal quickly," he says, gesturing towards her shoulder. "Or I'll keep burning every time I look at it."

She chuckles and takes the glass from him. For the rest of the breakfast, she keeps stealing subtle glances at him. She has really missed him. She feels as if she has been reunited with him after a lifetime. But only if he knew.

"Divunatam (I'm crazy about you)," she mumbles to herself.

But when she notices the quirking of his lips, she knows he has heard her.

"Me too," he mumbles back.

Later that day when her husband has left the palace, she meets Daryush to update herself of the things at the court. With the events happening at the palace, a meeting couldn't be called. But the time of the truce is to come to an end and very soon the council will have to make a decision regarding the throne and it's caliph.

"I've kept my part of the deal, syed Daryush. It's time that you keep yours."

Daryush gives her a crooked smile and tips his head. "The council will have its first meeting tomorrow, my Amira. I assure you, you will not be disappointed."

"I hope not. I know Adam can handle himself well, but I wouldn't have liked you trying to discredit him and drag him down."

"My apologies for the mistakes of my past."

She only nods in acknowledgment, strolling ahead into the gardens with him close behind. The sky is a brilliant shade of blue, the sun warm and the clouds a few. She toys with the ring on her finger, a gift from Adam belonging to her late mother-in-law, now a dear treasure in her possession-- a reminder of princess Halah. Her gaze briefly flicks to it before she redirects it ahead, addressing Daryush again.

"What do the other members have to say, syed Daryush?"

"The matters will be discussed together among all members in the council meeting and they'll come to a decision about it. What I or anyone else thinks may or may not be shared by the rest. I cannot guarantee you for the others, but I can guarantee you for myself. My rank allows me more power and influence, so it'll bring great support to Ameer Adam nonetheless."

"And about the verdict I asked you to pass?"

"Don't worry, my Amira." He placed his hand over his heart to show his sincerity. "I'm sure it will be supported by a majority, if not all. The reason behind it is totally understandable. It certainly will be passed, and no prince will be allowed to make an attempt on the life of another."

She stops walking and turns to him. He does so too, tying his hands before him. Noura offers him a one sided smile.

"Well then, I should host your wedding to syeda Asiya at the palace if you make it happen."

He chuckles, appearing roguish and mischievous as he replies, "If your husband allows it, Amira. He still doesn't seem to find me much likable."

"That might change, depending upon your course of actions."

"I'll hold you to your words if I make it happen," he states.

Her smile turns into a smirk. "Gladly, sayidi."

She spends the rest of the day meeting other officials and analyzing the information she gets from them before meeting Zahir to discuss the affairs with him. By evening, she returns to her chamber after taking a bath and changing her dress. Soon, a few servants arrive to set the table for dinner.

"I will wait for the Ameer," Noura announces. "Come later."

"The Ameer sent a messenger saying that he might return late so you shall not wait for him and have your meal on time, my Amira," one of them informs her.

They serve the dinner and light the fireplace for her before excusing themselves, leaving her in silence. She looks around, the chamber feeling empty without his presence, having haunted her for many days and nights without him. Sighing, she goes to sit by the fireplace on the cushions.

"You love to make me wait for you so often, don't you, yaare man (my beloved)?"

Against his advice, she decides to wait for him and not eat alone. But to her surprise and delight, she doesn't have to wait long for him as soon the doors to their chamber open and he walks in.

"Adam." Noura beams, quickly getting to her feet to greet him. "Marhaba."

"Thank you."

He kisses her temple and she puts her arms around his torso, basking in his warmth-- his scent. His presence.

"How are you and my child?"

"We are fine." She grins and pulls away. "How was your day?"

"Good. Busy."

He goes to put away his cloak and his sword and Noura sits at the dinner table, filling a glass of water for him from the vessel the servants have left them. He joins her, sitting on the cushions with her where the fire burns warm, and she offers him the glass.

"A servant told me you won't be able to join me for dinner," Noura tells him as he finishes the water and puts the glass down. "That you might be late. But I'm glad you could come early. I didn't want to eat alone."

His eyebrows knit in confusion. "Did they?"

Noura nods and reaches for a plate to fill it. "They said you sent a messenger."

"I didn't send anyone."

"You didn't?" she asks in puzzlement.

Adam suddenly grasps her wrist and the plate falls from her hand before she could fill it. His frown deepens, eyes growing skeptical as he looks at the table before them.

"What did you eat?"

"I..." She blinks, utterly lost, and shakes her head. "Nothing. I was waiting for you."

He inhales sharply and let go of her, then roughly tugs at his collar.

"Adam?" Noura reaches for him anxiously. "What is the matter?"

He takes another sharp breath before hitting the water vessel with such force that it breaks and the water spills all over the table. Noura gasps and he jerks off the table cloth, dragging and spilling all the dishes with it.

"Adam--"

"Poisoned," he heaves, clawing at his throat. "I cannot... breathe..."

He falls forward and she leaps to hold him.

"Adam!"

Her heart slams against her breastbone. The floor beneath her begins to shake. Suddenly, the sky is collapsing and all her eyes can see is darkness.

"Adam?!"

She cradles up his face in her hands. He's panting, struggling to breathe. Noura freezes in fright against the horror unfolding before her.

"No. No, habibi. This cannot be."

His eyelids fall shut. Her vision begins to blur. It feels like a nightmare. She begs for this to be far from reality. But the fear and agony stabs her like a dagger.

"Daud?!" she screams, forcing herself out of the shock. "Daud?!"

The guard rushes into the chamber in panic.

"He's poisoned! Go call the physician!"

His face colors in sheer dread and disbelief before he runs out of the chamber to bid by the orders.

"Adam?" Noura pushes his hair back from his face. "Janem, look at me," she whimpers, unable to hold herself anymore as she begins to cry. "Look at me."

It feels unreal. Too painful for her to bear. His state tortures her. She sobs and hugs him to herself.

"Hold onto me. Stay."

"Sayidati?" a timid voice calls her.

She looks up and her blurry vision makes form of her previous handmaiden. Noura scowls at her. But before she could say anything, Tamara falls to her knees before her and brings out a vial.

"Give him this."

"What is this?" Noura demands.

"The antidote to the poison he has ingested."

"How do I trust you?" she grits.

"You have to, sayidati. Or he will die. This is the only way to save his life. Nothing else can neutralize the poison."

Noura looks from her to her husband. His breathing seems to be growing feeble and uneven with each passing second. His lips have started to turn blue.

"It's potent," Tamara presses. "Please. He is dying already. Why would I give you something to kill him?"

Having no time to contemplate, Noura takes the vial from her and with trembling hands, puts it to his mouth, emptying it. She drops the empty vial to the floor the moment Daud hurries in with a physician and Roya behind them.

Afterwards, everything is a haze. She grows numb and the world withers away. Roya takes her out of her chamber while the physician tends to her husband. She stays standing out of the door despite Roya's protest. She keeps thinking, running in circles in her mind, rethinking, trying to processes what has just happened. Trying to make sense of it. Until everything begins to take root within her. Until everything makes sense and she is able to accept it.

"Noura khanum?" Roya calls her but she's unable to respond. "You should sit down, khanum. Don't tire yourself in this state. shahzade will be fine. God will take care of him."

But Noura keeps standing on her spot, unmoving. Roya rubs her back comfortingly, trying to reason with her.

"Shahzade will be upset if he learns you've exhausted yourself like this. You've to think about your child, khanum."

"I gave him the poison with my own hands, Roya." She looks down at her hands. "Ya Rabbi, ya Khuda, what have I done?"

"But you didn't know."

"But it was meant for me, not him."

She turns to look at Tamara who is standing a little further away. The woman shakes her head helplessly upon seeing the accusation in her eyes.

"I didn't do it, sayidati," she defends herself.

"Of course you didn't." Noura smiles, feeling herself growing mad in wild fury. "Why would you want to kill the man you love? You would rather kill me-- the woman who is a thorn in your side."

"No," she denies, stumbling backwards as Noura advances towards her. "I d-didn't..."

"Why, you didn't on your own, I know. But you assisted whoever you are serving. How could a handmaiden execute such a plan and risk carrying it on her own?"

"I didn't assist anyone."

"Then why did you know about the poison and its antidote? Why did you have it? Surely not for me." Noura pulls out her dagger. "But for Adam, in case the plan goes wrong. That's why the dinner was sent to me early with the lie that Adam will not be joining me. So I will not wait for him and eat that poisoned meal. So it is I who dies. But in case Adam gets to eat it, you give him the antidote to save him. Because the death of the prince will surely bring a sword to everyone's neck in this palace. So tell me," she tightens her grip on her dagger, "who did you do it for?"

Tamara takes a few staggering steps back before spinning around and running in the opposite direction. But she crashes right into Arwa as she turns around the corner.

"You smell like the culprit," the princess hisses.

"No--"

Arwa doesn't give her a chance to deny as she backhands her, sending her flying to the floor. She leans down and yanks her arm.

"Anything happens to my brother, woman, and I'm putting a spear through your heart."

Noura marches up to them, burnt up in her wrath and misery, and puts her dagger to Tamara's throat.

"I'm asking you for the last time, who did you do it for?"

Tamara looks between her and Arwa, eyes wide and body shuddering, suddenly pale before her. Noura presses the blade more firmly to her skin.

"Answer me!"

"Jumana bint Zaidan," she finally croaks.

"That petty physician?!" Arwa snaps. "How dare she?!"

"She is n-not a petty physician," Tamara stutters.

"What do you mean?" Noura demands.

Tamara hesitates, and Arwa turns to the guard behind her.

"Bring me a spear."

"Wait," she speaks up, deciding to confess, giving up, revealing a secret so dire that it has never whispered into the corridors of the palace before now.

"She is the wife of Khalifa Sulaiman bin Khalid. The Malika of this palace."

✵

How do you like my surprises?

Three more chapters to go. Can you guess whose pov it is coming up next?

✵