31 Letter

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Every flaw I love in you except your absence.

Mahmoud Darwish

Him

"So, can you take me to my mother?"

The woman before him is weak and frail. Her body is hunched over and her hair gray from aging. She adjusts her scarf over her head before holding out a cup of tea to him in shaking hands. He quickly takes it from her before thanking her.

"Did you receive the letter?" she asks him.

"I did."

"Then she's already with you."

She gives him a feeble smile but he cannot bring himself to return it.

"It's not enough to me," he protests, soft but insistent. "Can you tell me more?"

"I'll tell you everything." Her smiles turns sardonic. "Finish your tea first."

Though his stomach cannot take anything at the moment, he does finish his tea, as fast as he can, restless and mindless if it burns his tongue, and puts his cup down. The woman gives him a scrutinizing look.

"Where you've waited all these years, wait a little more. She's going nowhere," she advises.

"I cannot. Not anymore."

She sighs and puts her cup down. "Haste will not bring her back from the dead, ibni."

He clenches shut his eyes, the statement hitting him like an axe to his heart, and he hears her sigh again before patting his hand.

"I'll take you to her grave."

Her

It has been more than a month since he's gone-- more than a month of his absence she cannot get used to. The hallways of the palace are deserted without him, the gardens lifeless and their chamber cold. It has only been one letter he has sent her in all this time-- one letter she has to read every night to feel his presence around her. For everything has a reminder of him, and everything without him hurts.

She sits with Zahir in a room where he updates her on their current situation and what actions are required for their plots to succeed. She doesn't know whether counting days until he returns is comforting or a folly, because with each passing day they're taken near to the end of the truce. And a new beginning awaits them all, each of them unaware to who the fate will favor against the other.

"The council is holding their next meeting in a few days, sayidati," Zahir informs her. "They'll be discussing everything from progress to decline in different regions across the kingdom, and the public opinion about their rulers."

"I don't think the public will disapprove of Ameer Sulaiman for anything, especially not Baghdad. He has been a fair ruler to them."

"But so had been Ameer Adam."

"True, but there is still a possibility of what happened in the past between his father and Yusuf bin Khalid coming in the way," Noura voices her concern. "They may not hold him accountable for it, but what if they still prefer ibn Khalid to rule them than ibn Marwan?"

"Then what do you suggest, my Amira?"

Noura pauses as her mind begins to think, her eyes on the scrolls before her as she tries to come up with a solution.

"Adam wouldn't be unaware of it and must have done something to rectify it, hasn't he?"

Zahir nods. "A great majority favors him. He always made sure to personally see to the needs of his people. But under Al Hadi's rule, his access in Baghdad has been limited. So I cannot assure you of the capital's loyalty towards him."

"Adam's access has been limited, but not mine, syed Zahir." She picks up a scroll and a quill, and starts scribbling on it. "Adam is assigned as the treasurer of Baghdad. I want a report on how the gold has been distributed so far in his absences. If we're facing any deficiencies, I'll fulfill them from my personal treasury. Make sure the soldiers under him are satisfied. And send someone to the city under my name to see to the needs of the people. We need them to trust us that Al Shafay is a man capable and deserving as they see Al Hadi. I hope they give him a chance."

"As you please, my Amira."

Noura puts her seal on the scroll and hands it over to him. "These are the orders for now. Send a messenger to syed Daryush to see me before the council meeting. It's very important for me to discuss some things with him."

Zahir tips his head, a little hesitant. "Pardon my candidness, sayidati, but convincing syed Daryush to pass any verdict without bringing it into the knowledge of your husband might not sit well with him. What if Ameer Adam objects to it?"

She looks down to the quill in her hand, rolling it between her fingers absently. "Do you think when the truce ends without the verdict being passed, and between Adam and Sulaiman one reclaims the throne, will one kill the other?"

Zahir doesn't respond, probably not able to come up with the answer, and Noura puts away the quill before looking up at him.

"I'll tell you," she says. "If Adam reclaims the throne, he might send Sulaiman in exile, but he will never kill him. He didn't kill him even as Al Shafay, not because he lacked authority to do so or because the council forbade him, but because he didn't want to spill the blood of his family." For Yusuf. Because he knew the pain of loss, and he didn't want to take his brother and put him through what he once endured. Noura thinks but doesn't add. "But if Sulaiman reclaims the throne, there's a possibility that he might kill him and I cannot allow it. At no cost."

Especially not now. Not when she can have a family with him. Not when he can have again what he has lost.

Zahir only nods in understanding.

A few minutes more go by as they finalizes some things before Zahir excuses himself and Noura returns to her chamber. It's later in the evening when Daud brings her a letter, along with the message that Daryush awaits her in the library.

"Sayidati, the letter that you asked for." Daud presents it to her.

"Did you make sure it's the same letter?" Noura asks to confirm, and he tilts forward his head in affirmation.

"The same, sayidati. I fetched it myself."

"Good." Noura takes the letter from him. "Come with me. Let us meet syed Daryush and see if he's doing his job properly this time."

They arrive at the library where Daryush is already waiting for her. He tips his head in greeting and Noura returns the gesture.

"Masa' al khayr, Amira."

"Thank you, sayidi."

"I was hoping we could speak somewhere more moderate than a library," Daryush suggests subtly whilst gesturing towards a chair and Noura sits down. "I wouldn't want any mishaps like the last time."

"Eskander isn't at the palace, syed Daryush." Noura smiles at him as he occupies the chair across her. "And there couldn't be any other place more appropriate than this."

"If you prefer so, Amira."

"I've heard you've something of my husband with you, sayidi," she says with a calm that harbors warning bells. "A letter not meant for you. I'd like you to give it to me."

Daryush's eyes flick between her and Daud, the corner of his mouth twitching up. "That letter holds commands to his soldiers to prepare for battle. You do realize he can be charged for rebellion, don't you?"

"I wouldn't call it that."

"Preparing your soldiers for war under the conditions of truce is called rebellion, Amira."

"I'll call it defense." Noura leans back in her chair and folds her hands in her lap. "When the truce ends and if Adam is chosen to be the next caliph but Ameer Sulaiman refuses to give up power, or if Ameer Sulaiman continues to be the caliph and decides to execute Adam, should he accept whatever fate befalls him without a fight?"

"Nonetheless, it doesn't eliminate the possibility of war and bloodshed within the land," Daryush argues.

"Ameer Daryush," Noura utters, voice growing harsh and seething now, "if blood is to be shed, I'd rather have my husband to be the last in line than the first to be sacrificed by the likes of you." She holds up the letter Daud had brought her and nods towards it. "Give me the letter, and I'll give you this."

Daryush frowns. "What is this?"

"The letter you sent to syeda Asiya with your love confessions." She smirks in delight as dread instantly pulls his expression taut. "Fortunately for you, it fell in my safe hands. So if you return to me what is mine, I'll return to you what is yours. And no one shall know a thing."

"Amira, you're dragging Asiya into it for nothing--"

"I didn't. You did." Noura lowers the letter and narrows her eyes. "I'll cause you no trouble if you don't cause me any. But if you continue with your ways of creating hurdles for Adam, then I tell you, sayidi, the lengths I can go to for him you cannot even fathom. I'll drag every person I have to into the fire until the fire turns cold. If it means to safe the man I love, I'll do anything to do so."

Daryush tightens his jaw and stares at her. Noura levels it boldly. His eyes flick to Daud once more, and Noura straightens in her chair.

"If you do not want me to read your letter into the council meeting where every member and officials becomes a witness to your misdeeds, you should return the letter to me now."

After giving it a thought, Daryush finally pulls out a letter from under his belt and holds it out to her. Daud steps forward to take it from him. He unrolls it and skims it quickly before nodding to Noura, indicating it is what they need.

"I haven't forgotten our agreement, but the idea of Ameer Adam building an army for himself doesn't sit well with me," Daryush tells her, worry lacing his tone.

"Then you should work on what I've asked of you," Noura replies. "For everyone's sake, the verdict should be passed before the truce ends."

She returns the letter belonging to Daryush to him, and he clutches it tightly in his hand, gaze never once wavering from her.

"And about Asiya?" he asks quietly, as if afraid of being heard, and Noura gives him a look of assurance.

"I remember my promise. Keep yours, and I'll keep mine. Ameer Sulaiman will end the betrothal, and you can marry her."

He smiles, satisfied at the words spoken, and tips his head. "Well then, I'll see you at the council meeting, Amira."

Daryush prepares to take his leave and Noura stops him, one last thing to say in case he tries to outsmart her again.

"Syed Daryush?"

He turns towards her.

"Do not betray my trust," Noura warns meaningfully, darkly. "Or the first thing I'll do once I become the Malika will be to hang your head in the throne room as as example for those you may dare so to deceive me."

This makes his lips stretch into a half smile, both amused and impressed, and places a hand on his heart, just like he had done before. Then without any further exchange, he leaves.

Noura shifts his attention to Daud once he's gone. "Assign a spy to him who doesn't miss a move from him. And deliver the letter Adam sent to who it is meant for."

"As you say, sayidati."

"Do it personally, Daud. We don't have room for any mistakes."

"Don't worry, sayidati. There will be no mistakes."

Noura makes her way towards her chamber and Daud follows closely behind.

"Also, I'd like to meet Sulaiman before the council meeting. Send him my message the first thing in the morning that I wish to speak to him."

"Yes, sayidati."

"Have you found anything about Jumana?" she inquiries.

"No one in the palace knows much of her, and the spy Ameer Adam assigned to her gathered only little. We believe that when the war between the brothers happened and Ameer Sulaiman sustained injuries and disappeared, syeda Jumana was the one who found him wounded and tended to him until he healed to stand on his legs again," Daud fills her on the information. "She probably didn't know he was a prince, and he too kept the secret. They might have grown close and that would explain the caliph's fondness of the lady. So when he claimed the throne he brought her to the palace with himself."

Noura hums in contemplation. "We need to know more about their relationship, Daud. If what Adam suspects is true, Jumana might be more than what she appears."

They arrive at the chamber and she turns to Daud to give him the last orders for the day.

"Keep an eye on Tamara too and inform me on every detail."

Daud lowers his gaze, looking embarrassed, and ties his hands before him. "My apologies for being careless in regards to choosing her as your handmaiden, sayidati."

Noura smiles at him dismissively. "Don't beat yourself about it. You didn't know, and neither Adam nor I blame you."

"But if any harm had come to you because of her, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

"Then good thing we found out about her intentions in time."

"I agree." He glances up awkwardly. "I hope you can forgive me."

"I already have, Daud," Noura assures him. "Adam and I trust you, and we know it wasn't deliberate on your part, so rest your heart."

He gives her a small smile and nods. "Thank you, sayidati."

A while later, Roya serves her dinner and she sits alone in the silence of her chamber before the fireplace to eat it. The candles flicker, the fire burns, and time passes. She misses him, dearly so, and without him the world has faded to being dull and colorless.

The night has settled in and darkness has sunken down. The moon is full tonight and she goes out on the balcony to watch it in its glory. She wonders if he's doing the same.

Noura stands by the handrail, one hand upon it and the other resting on her abdomen. By now, she doesn't need any physician to tell her what she has already come to realize. Every day the truth only sinks its teeth into her more, the change becoming more and more obvious, yet she tries to keep it hidden-- a secret she tries to wrap in a hundred veils. Not knowing what tomorrow will bring. For her. For him. Or for the life she now carries.

She sighs and lifts her face to the sky. "Despair is not for the believers," she whispers to the winds.

Lowering her eyes from the sky to her hand upon her belly, she smiles. It isn't only for Adam she's fighting now, but only if they knew. She can burn down the world for the blessing God has send to her.

"Your baba will return to us soon, janem. Until then, I'll take care of you." Noura closes her eyes. "I'm with you, habibi. I'm with you."

A lot of drama in the coming few chapters. We're nearing the end. Who's ready?


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