What shall we say to the embers in your eyes?

— Mahmoud Darwish

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Him

"Congratulations on your nikkah, sayidi."

"Thank you, Daud." He tugs forward his horse under a shade and ties it before asking his servant, "Any news from Qahira?"

Daud shakes his head. "You don't need to worry, my Ameer. All must be well there. You should be celebrating your wedding."

He gives him a brisk nod before they get inside their shelter for the night. Daud gives him a curious glance and he tilts his head questioningly at his servant who clears his throat.

"Aren't you happy, sayidi? You'll be with your wife again."

His eyebrows knit together. "Of course I am, Daud."

"Then what is it that has you so quiet? I see the worry in your eyes."

He smiles at the way he has seen through him. Surely they've come a long way, and surely he has become a friend. He shakes his head at him.

"My wife has jumped into the fire with me, Daud. She doesn't realize what she has gotten herself into. But I have no heart to keep her away from myself any longer." His lids flutter shut, the image of her kohl rimmed eyes glowing like embers overwhelming his mind. "I cannot," he admits silently to himself. "But how do I keep her from burning with me?"

Her

The day of the banquet is spent greeting people and exchanging congratulations. There are faces she recognizes, friends and families, and there are those which she doesn't. She goes through the event alternating between mingling around and sitting out alone. And by the time it's about to wrap up, she's drained to the bones.

Unlike her, Laleh is as excited as she was at the start of the day. The grin hasn't left her face for a second and her hazel green eyes are vibrant with joy as fresh as before. She has been on her feet all the time, sometimes on her own greeting and chatting with people, other times her husband by her side. Eskander appears stoic and composed. But he appears happy. Noura smiles as she watches them together.

The sky today has been dark with the clouds but it wasn't raining. At least not yet. But she can see it coming anytime soon. She sits by the shade of a tree with Roya. Her mother has been busy with the guests but occasionally stole moments to give her company. They've only half a day and a night left before she says goodbye to her family. It brings a dull ache in her heart which she has been able to mask expertly, for the sake of herself and everyone else. It will get better, all of everything, she tells herself.

"Eskander agha and Laleh khanum look so good together," Roya comments, following her gaze where they're engaged in conversation with another couple. "They're made for each other."

"I agree." Noura leans back in her chair, her gaze lingering on them a while before flicking away. "They sure are made for each other."

"Just like you and shahzada Adam."

She gives Roya a small, fleeting smile, her cheeks growing warm at her remark. "Thank you."

"He has been looking for you, khanum."

"Who?"

"Your husband. The prince."

"When?"

"When you went inside the house. He was scanning the crowd for you."

"Ah."

"Should I send someone to inform him?"

"What for?"

"That you're here now and would like to meet him?"

"No."

"But would you not like to see him?"

"I already did. Twice."

Roya seems ready to push some more, but then reconsiders and falls silent. Noura already met him briefly at the start of the banquet, where they only exchanged greetings before she fled from his presence. And then later when they happened to cross paths where he was nothing more than a glimpse she caught. This avoiding of him is absurd, she knows, but she's both hurt by him and yearning for him, the contradiction of her judgment and feelings making it difficult for her to take a side-- whether to forgive or to punish. She dangles somewhere in between.

But she doesn't get to dwell much on her thoughts as Roya clears her throat, bringing her attention back to the present. "He's coming here."

Noura looks up to find Adam walking towards them. "Don't leave," she asks Roya but her maid is already out of her seat and shuffling away to give her the privacy with her husband. Noura feels her heart leaping to her throat and sticking there.

"Zawjati." He greets her with a faint smile, welcoming himself on the seat Roya has left empty and bringing it closer to hers. "Anti jamilah, Noura (you look beautiful, Noura)."

"Thank you," she mumble, holding back from telling him that he too looks nothing less.

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

She nods, keeping her gaze straight up ahead so she wouldn't faint in this proximity with him-- so she wouldn't lose reason in his eyes and give up against him so easily. The scent of his fragrance he's wearing is an intoxication in itself. He makes her feel so helpless against him. She remembers a time when it wasn't this hard to resist him-- ages ago when it wasn't love.

"We've only married, and you're already so upset with me that you wouldn't even look at me?"

"I'm not upset with you. And we were already married before now."

"Yes, but we did it properly this time. You didn't know who I was the first time. They call it a bluff."

She doesn't say anything. He reaches to place his hand atop hers folded onto her lap. Her skin tingles at his touch. Everything feels new to her to the point of foolishness. She scolds herself mentally to calm down.

"You've every right to be upset with me, Noura. But I've my reasons which I hope you'll understand. You do trust that I would never willing hurt you, don't you?"

"I'm willing to give you a chance to explain yourself, sayidi."

"By shunning me away?"

"Definitely not."

"You won't even look at me," he points out again.

Noura forces herself to keep looking anywhere but him, until his command comes gently and she fails to keep up the tough act.

"Look at me."

Her gaze slides to him. Her gaze melts on the handsome features of his face and collapses into the halos of his orbs. She finds herself powerless against him.

"Your rejection last night wounded me," he complains, softly, as if afraid of wounding her in turn.

Her eyes drop from his as she recalls it, her face heating up once more at the memory of his attempt to kiss her and her refusal in reply. Noura fidgets with her fingers beneath his palm that is still on her hands.

"Can you blame me, sayidi?"

"Maybe not. Maybe I've only myself to blame for everything. For loving you too."

Her eyes lift to his, locking there this time. She swallows dryly. "I wonder what love it is which allowed you to maintain this distance between us for months."

"If you knew, you wouldn't question it."

"But I don't know, sayidi. And you wouldn't tell me."

"Do you doubt my love for you?"

She gingerly pulls away her hands from his. "Do you care?"

He notices the movement, but doesn't try to reach for her again. "Who else would I care for?"

She shrugs nonchalantly. "Your heart is fickle, sayidi. When it wished to keep me close by, you took me from my home. When it was satiated with the sight of me, you left me away."

"Don't say that," he half requests, half reprimands.

"But isn't that true?" she dares. "What value do I hold in your life if you can forget me so easily and live away."

"I never once forgot you."

"Maybe there's someone else," she continues, the thought having occurred to her before and having kept her sleepless many nights. "Maybe the love you claim you have for me has faded, sayidi."

"Noura," he shushes her, tone harding before settling back as he whispers to her, "If I've loved anyone more than you, I don't know who."

She stares at him, to the slits of his eyebrow, to the angle of his nose, the arch of his cheekbones and the curve of his mouth. She blinks, tethered to his confession and the affection in his eyes.

"You've a trap for a tongue," she says, unable to burn out the fire he's setting within her soul with his words. "A sweet one, for sure."

He chuckles at her remark. "You've a sword for yours. Pierces me every time."

"You make me sound so bad."

"Not really. Some scars are actually wistful."

"I wouldn't know of one."

"You cannot see the ones you've left on my heart and mind."

Again, she's rendered speechless by him. A drop of rain falls on his forehead. She then feels one on her cheek too. It has begun to drizzle. But none of them attempts to move.

"Sounds like an accusation," she replies after a minute. He grins in response.

"What can I say? These memories with you are treacherous. I try to imprison them, they crawl out through the cracks to torture me."

"So you did want to forget me?"

"I wanted to numb your absence."

"Why not fill it if it pained you so much?"

"Only you could fill the void you left in my life. No one else. But I couldn't ask you to. I couldn't even if I wanted to."

"I'm afraid I don't understand, sayidi."

He edges towards her, but doesn't reply. Their knees bump but she doesn't pull away. He takes her hand in his again.

"Adam," he tells her. "You call me by my name, Noura."

She resists to roll her eyes. "As you please, sayidi."

This makes his lips pull back into another grin. She has to bite her own lip to keep herself from smiling and quickly looks away. The raindrops begin to gain weight. Around them, the lawn is almost empty as everyone is making their way inside. In the distance, lightning strikes the sky, reflected in the black of his pupils. He stands up, tugging her to her feet too.

"It looks to me you might need some training saying my name."

"I seem to forget the time when I fluently did so," she jokes lightly, keeping her expression blank. "My tongue stutters now when I do so."

"Let me hear it then." He hover over her, turning to her so his back is towards whoever is left outside and shielding her from view. "Say my name."

"My family is around," she reminds him, panicking slightly at the closure. But he appears unbothered and puts an arm around her to keep her near him.

"Adam," he murmurs between them. "Say it."

She tries to push him away and he dips down his head. Her eyes widen in alarm and mortification as she digs her fingers in his arm to hold him back but it does little good. Noura quickly turns away her head before it could result in their lips coming together and giving the impression to anyone of them kissing. Instead, they must look like hugging and she snaps shut her eyes.

"Adam!" she hisses at him, drowning in shame.

His mouth grazes the cup of her ear and she can feel him grinning. "There, you said it. It wasn't so difficult, now was it?"

"Someone must have seen us like this. Release me!"

"Never."

"Adam--"

"Yes." He chuckles, adding only more to her embarrassment. "Just like that."

"Release me before I pull out my dagger at you." She pushes him again. "You don't want new scars because walahi they won't be wistful at all."

This makes him laugh as he steps away from her and she quickly moves back, glowering at him. "Do you have no shame?"

"What shame do I need around my wife?"

His question brings back memories-- memories that crash into her like a mad ocean wave. She sinks into them, to the night she still holds dear-- to the night they had shared their first kiss. She still remembers the look in his eyes and the insanity of her heart. She aches at the memory.

He seems to be thinking the same because he too has grown silent, appearing lost. He gazes at her, a raw emotion in his orbs tearing at her. Noura stands before him still and wordless. Then, he lifts his hand to stroke her jaw.

"Aftaqiduki katheeran, Noura (I miss you so much, Noura)."

She closes her eyes, the rain washing away any tears that could have escaped her lids, giving herself this moment with him-- the longing in his touch, the hoarseness in his voice, and the promise in his presence. It is all she has ever wanted.

And though her heart screams the words back at him, telling him that it too misses him, and that it loves him and craves him, her tongue remains tied until the moment slips away and she's left grasping at the remains.

That night she sits with her family for dinner-- her mother, Eskander, and Laleh. Despite this being her last night at home, she keeps herself together as well as she can, and so do them all to not make it any difficult for her. They make small talk over the meal and when they're done, she and Laleh clear the table together.

Laleh shows her the gifts Eskander has gotten her, telling her about the plans he has to get his own place in Baghdad and move them there, their mother and Laleh, so they can live together instead of staying behind in Isfahan waiting for his every return . He's to leave soon after all. Noura can only smile at her as she chatters enthusiastically about everything.

"Amme (aunt) says that Baghdad holds memories of your father, and that it would be bittersweet to move back. But more sweet than painful," she tells Noura. "I've never been to Baghdad, but I've heard good things about it. Eskander says it's beautiful. I'm excited to see it. But also a little sad about leaving behind my family."

The green tea on the stove begins to boil. Noura arranges four cups in a tray and Laleh pours it in them.

"Eskander says that you and the prince too will move back to the capital in four months. It made me so happy to hear that. Only four months and then we'll be together as we're now. Isn't it great, Nour?"

"It certainly is."

They take the tea to the living room and Eskander picks his cup to drink outside on the veranda and watch stars. The rain is falling no more but the sky is still clouded. She isn't sure if he can see any stars tonight but it had become a habit-- a ritual he always followed.

"Don't stay out sitting in the cold late," his mother advises. "You've a wife now. Don't keep her waiting for you."

Laleh blushes and shyly looks away, picking up her cup too. "I'll join him outside."

"Would you like to come with us, Nour?" Eskander asks her.

It was their thing for as long as she can recall. Them sitting under the stars and talking until late at night. But she does realize that it isn't anymore. Now, there's his wife and she doesn't want to impose on them. She looks at Laleh and then him, smiling and shaking her head, giving away this ritual, declining him politely.

"I want to spend some time with maman," she excuses.

Eskander nods in understanding and leaves, Laleh following behind him. Noura looks at her mother who smiles knowingly at her and opens her arms for her. She gladly goes to fall into them and then reclines in her lap. Her mother begins to run her finger through her hair, and soon it begins to lull her to sleep.

Just when she thinks that dreams will pull her into their embrace, she hears her mother call to her.

"Janem?"

Noura hums in response.

"Take care of yourself."

"I will, maman."

"Take care of him too."

She doesn't need to ask who. Her lips twitch up and her heart swells with joy.

Later when she's to retire to her room, she catches Laleh and Eskander still sitting on the veranda. Her cousin has fallen asleep on Eskander's shoulder, she can gather from her posture, while he has his arms around her, holding her shawl over her to keep her warm, nuzzling against her hair. Noura quietly tiptoes towards them.

"You'll freeze her outside," she says in a hushed tone.

He looks up from his wife to her. "I cannot bring myself to wake her up." A smile forms on his face. "A moment longer. It's peaceful like this. I'll carry her inside in a while."

She chuckles and hums, turning around to leave. But he stops her.

"Nour?"

Noura looks back at him. "Yes?"

"Don't forget to write to me."

She releases a contented sigh and nods. "I won't."

"And don't forget how faraway we are, I'll be always there for you if you need me."

This makes her eyes well up and she blinks to push back her tears, smiling through them. "I know."

"I wish you happiness."

"I wish you the same." Her gaze flicks to Laleh, tucked into his arms safely, before finding his eyes again. "May you find love and home with Laleh, Eskander."

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Any particular scene you're waiting for? Just curious.

PS: this chapter holds my favorite title. Brings back memories and makes me nostalgic. What's your favorite title of this series, if any?

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