chapter twenty-three | malia

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"You really leaving me for that nigga?" Duane asked. After I dropped off Makayla at dance practice, I stopped over Duane's to officially cut ties with him. I had to be fair and give Khari a chance.

I sighed, looking into Duane's eyes. I thought that there would be something there, but it wasn't. I was blind all this time? Or was I really just afraid to step out on faith? Who knows. But, I knew I didn't want us to work anymore. At least not right now. "You left me.. Khari just took advantage."

I played with my fingers as he let out an exasperated sigh. I looked at him to see him staring out the window. He had his thinking face on which was a rarity. Duane is usually the one who acts on impulse. He never thinks. "Ok." He said.

I cocked my eyebrow up, shocked. "Okay?"

His eyes turned back on me, and he nodded his head. "I really can't blame anybody, but myself. If I ain't cheat, you wouldn't even entertained him. He a smart dude if he attracted to you though." He laughed a little. "He beat me and took my girl. Tragic."

I returned the small laugh. I couldn't believe that we were at this point. When I was in high school, I didn't see life without Duane. Now, I could see clearly. "Now, you can go into the draft with no one holding you back."

He sighed softly. "Yeah, you're right. My dad's been on my ass lately. I had a few bad games and that's not good for my draft stock. Right now, they got ya boy going number one."

"Who? Khari?" He nodded his head. In all of this, I'd forgotten that Khari was subject to choose to go into the draft as well. Would I be hesitant to go with Khari if he asked me to come with him? I don't think so. My love just ran deeper for him. I trusted him more for some reason.

"Do you still love me?" Duane asked softly.

"I'll always have love for you. You were my first love, Duane. No one can ever take your place in my heart." I explained.

He nodded his head, looking away. "Do you love him?"

I leaned my body against the wall, and folded my arms across my chest. "Yeah, I do." Cuffing my hair behind my ear, I just looked at Duane. He seemed to have a hurt expression on his face. I wanted to console him, and tell him that it's not his fault. However, I'd be lying. I fell in love with another guy because the guy I loved couldn't love me.

He practically pushed me into Khari's arms. Yet, I'm not mad at him for it. I felt like his infidelity was a blessing in disguise. Khari isn't perfect by any means. But, he's perfect for me. It's amazing how me helping him get closer to God made me grow closer to him. God works in mysterious ways.

"Well, can we still be friends or something?" He basically pleaded.

"I don't want to make Khari uncomf—"

"Uncomfortable." Duane finished, nodding his head. "Yeah, I know. It was worth a shot though. Damn, you were always loyal." He chuckled, looking at me.

I smirked at him, playfully rolling my eyes. "Duh."

"Can I come clean?" He asked.

"Come clean about what?" I asked, playing dumb. I knew what he wanted to come clean about. I just didn't know how I would react now. Would I be mad that it took me breaking up with him for him to come clean about his cheating ways?

"I cheated on you more than once." He admitted.

I looked at him, unbothered. "I'm aware." His eyes grew wide, and he scratched the back of his head. That was something he did when he was nervous.

"I'm sorry, Lia. You ain't deserve that shit. I was just smelling myself." He shook his head. "I got a lil fame and let it went to my head. We both know that I wasn't myself this freshman year. I don't know who that person was."

Since we were talking about things, I might as well get everything out. "So, who did you think I was?"

He looked at me, confused. "What you mean?"

"What I mean is.. You must have thought I was stupid or something. Maybe I was a little naive, yeah I'm guilty of that. But." I held up my finger. "I wasn't a damn fool. The lies you fed me were tired, Duane. I knew the first girl you cheated on me with right up until the third one. You didn't even have the audacity to cheat on me with girls who weren't messy. They told me before you did. You couldn't have been more responsible? Cause.. how they get my number in the first place?"

I could feel myself getting angry again so I counted to ten. I hadn't healed from my those wounds. I simply placed them under the rug and reserved them for later. I had a lot to get off my chest.

"I really didn't mea—"

I held up my finger again. "You don't cheat accidentally. Cheating is a choice, Duane. A poor choice at that. If you needed a little freedom, I would've left you alone. Honestly. It's just I loved you so much that I thought you would change for me..because I thought you loved me the way I loved you." I walked over to stand in front of him. "But, I was wrong. You love yourself more. That's why you don't need me anymore."

He started to speak, but he couldn't find the words. I reached to the back of my neck to unhook the necklace he'd given me in the ninth grade. He shook his head. "No, that was a gift. I'm not taking that back."

I laid the diamond necklace on the counter, then peered back up at him. "I have no use for it anymore."

He smacked his lips. "You acting like this isn't some phase or something. If it's true love then it'll make its way back won't it?" He looked down at me.

I bit my lip. At first, I did believe that this was true love. I was wrong though. God was never in the both of us when we were together. I felt like we were simply infatuated with one another. Everyone hyped us up because we were a cute couple. That's all we were though. Cute.

"Yeah if it was true love." I answered. "Love doesn't hurt though. I felt worthless when I was with you although I kept a fake smile on my face. I still feel the affects of your disloyal now. I don't think I'm pretty enough. I wonder why the hell Khari looks at me the way he do because I can't see what he see. You did that. You broke me until I couldn't break anymore." I stood on my tippy toes, placing a kiss on his cheek. "I hope you get the things you want in this life. Good luck."

With that, I walked out of the apartment and into the cold night. I secured my wrap around me, and headed to my car. Once I was in, I hurriedly cranked the car and turned on the heat. My phone buzzed causing me to get it out my purse. I had a few missed calls from Danielle and Kaleigh. I also had an incoming message from Khari. I decided to read Khari's message first.

Zaddy😘: wya?

I stared at the screen for a moment. Do I lie? How would he react if I told him I'm leaving Duane's apartment. I decided not to lie because that wouldn't be good this early on.

Me: leaving Duane's.. Came over to break things off for good.

After a few minutes, he replied. I was scared to look at the message, honestly.

Zaddy😘: so you mine fr fr? 😏

I laughed at his silliness, and sighed in relief. As we continued talking, he told me to meet him at his place. I told him that I would be there in 45 minutes since I had to drive from Maryland. I put my car in reverse and headed out the parking lot.

In about an hour, I pulled up to his apartment. I noticed him coming down the steps which signaled for me to stay in the car. I lifted my eyebrow at his appearance. He was really looking good in a blue, pinstripe tailor made suit. He had on a black peacoat to show off his sophisticated look. I pressed the unlock button so he could get in.

"Hey love." He greeted, leaning over to peck my lips. He smelled good too. I cocked my head to the side, eyeing him. He chuckled and shook his head. "What I do now?"

"What's the occasion?" I asked, referring to his suit.

"You'll see." He looked at me. "Just drive and I'll tell you where to go." He looked at me, from top to bottom. "You look beautiful as always. I gotta match your fly baybeh." He said as he straightened his tie.

All I had on was a simple burgundy sweater dress with black thigh high boots and a long grey wrap to keep me warm. "You don't have to dress up to impress me."

"I know. I like this suit though. You don't think it fits me?" He asked.

"You look good in it, no lie. I just don't think it's you. Not something you should wear everyday. I like you and your style." I said honestly. Khari was the guy who wore sweatpants, jeans, muscle shirts, throwback jerseys, sneakers, etc etc. I loved that about him. I didn't want him to feel like he had to change up to impress me.

He nodded his head. "Okay. But tonight, I'm Khari in a suit. So, if you could drive please." He said, flashing a smile. I returned the smile.

"Can I get a hint?" I asked as I started driving.

"Nope. It's a surprise." I poured a little. "Turn right here." He instructed and I did. I took a look at my surroundings to see if I could guess where we were going. As he continued giving instructions, I noticed that he was leading me back to the cliff. The last time we were on this cliff....

As we drove up, I noticed the beautiful scenery before me. There was a candlelit dinner with a camp like fire close by. There were rose pedals everywhere and as I put the car in park, I sat there in awe. "You did all of this for me?" I asked, looking at him.

He nodded his head. "Yeah, Danielle and Kaleigh helped me because I didn't know what the hell to do. I wanted to do something special for you because I don't know when the last time someone has.. Just wanna show my appreciation."

"Awww Ri!" I cooed, trying to blink away the tears. "You know I'm emotional."

"Yeah, I'm not sure who cries over a dog commercial." He responded, shaking his head and got out of the car. I rolled my eyes playfully. He jogged over to open my door, and grabbed my hand. I let him guide me to the table and he pulled out my chair. I sat down, peeking at the food.

"Is it too cold?" He asked.

I shook my head no. "The fire was a good idea." I chuckled.

He joined, chucking as well. "That's good to know then." He uncovered the food which showed nothing, but Caribbean food. "Maya suggested that Caribbean food was your favorite. I cooked all of this myself so take it lightly on me."

"Wow.." I said with wide eyes. "I can't believe you did all of this.. for me."

"Why wouldn't I? You deserve it and more." He reached over, grabbing my hand. "Bow your head." I bowed my head as he cleared his throat. "Lord, thank you for this food. Amen." He dropped my hand and all I could do is laugh. "What? I'm starving man."

I licked my lips at the food, not sure what to try first. He'd made Jerk chicken, corn and rice. It was simple, but it was my favorite. I decided on the chicken first. As I chewed, I nodded my head in delight. "That's not bad, boo."

"Yes!" He cheered. "I slaved in that kitchen, girl."

I smiled at him and looked at his plate. He had Louisiana food with some of the Caribbean food. I spotted that Cajun Mac and cheese, and I wiggled my eyebrows. "Khariiiii.." I cooed. He looked at me. "Can I have some Mac and Cheese?"

"Should've never cooked that for you." He smirked, motioning for me to go ahead. I stuck my fork into his Mac and cheese, scooping it onto my fork. I put the fork in my mouth, sliding the macaroni into my mouth.

"Soooo good." I moaned. "I think I hit the jackpot. A man who can cook."

"This what I do to reel you in and then I just stop after a while." He joked.

"Oh hush. I got you wrapped around my finger. You had a taste and now you cooking for me." I said with a smirk on my face.

He put his fork down, and leaned over a little. "Just wait until I make love to you. We'll see who has who wrapped around their finger." He winked before continuing to eat. I cleared my throat, taking a sip of water. A comfortable silence fell over us as we finished our meal and I took in the view.

"Are you thinking about the draft?" I asked, suddenly remembering the conversation I had with Duane.

"Nah, not really. I promised my mom that I'll get my degree. The NBA will always be there and if I get hurt, then I just know that it wasn't meant to be." He shrugged. "I'll more than likely do my four years in school."

I was shocked to know that he wasn't jumping that the chance like most would do. "Isn't this your dream?"

"Honestly? No, not really. I mean don't get me wrong, I love basketball. It gives me an outlet, it's my sanctuary. However, I just feel like my purpose is bigger than basketball. Every since I've been getting to know God, things have changed. I see things differently." He wiped his mouth with his napkin, and took a sip of water.

"What do you feel like your purpose is?" I looked at him.

"Well.." He started. "I like writing and I wanna tell my story. My professor thinks I'm really good at it and I want to try it out."

"I would've never thought that to be honest. But, don't you think you could use basketball to do that?" I asked curiously.

He shook his head. "I feel like God will use me in some other way. I'm not sure yet." I wasn't sure why this bad feeling hit the pit of my stomach suddenly, but it scared me. I didn't like that feeling. I shook the thought off, and looked back towards the view.

Suddenly, I heard soft music playing and Khari was on his feet with his hand extended. I noticed that the music was playing on his phone and I chuckled. It was Teddy Pendergrass's You're My Latest, Greatest Inspiration. I took his hand, and he wrapped his arm around my waist.

We quietly, and softly danced. "This song is true for me, with you." He said. I pulled away slightly, looking into his hazel eyes. "You make you wanna be a better person. You inspire me. So, this is gonna be our wedding song."

"Wedding song?"

He nodded his head. "Yeah. You don't see it right now. But, you're gonna be my wife one day."

I blushed like a fool, deciding to place my head on his shoulder. "I'm choosing the song. I'm the bride."

He chuckled lowly. "Yes ma'am. Whatever you want."

"Serious question." I said.

"Shoot."

I raised my head to meet his eyes again. "If you've never been in a relationship, how do you know what to do?" The music stopped causing us to stop moving. He looked at me, moving a piece of hair of my face.

"My mom raised a king. She always told me that you'd act right for a person you truly love, cherish and care about. She instilled in me that I treat that woman with dignity, respect, and patience. I'm going to honor my mother by honoring you."

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