chapter twenty-one | malia

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A week later.

"So, what are we looking for?" I looked over at Danielle as we headed into Charlotte Russe. She headed over to the body con dresses and I lifted my brow. "Someone is trying to get fine. But the question is, for who?" I joked.

She rolled her eyes playfully as she went through the dresses. "Tommy." She said simply as she held up an average black dress. She held the same thought as she shook her head, placing it back in the rack.

"Tommy?" I asked, looking at her. She glanced at me, nodding her head. "Bumpy?" I clarified.

"Yep. How you like this one?" She asked, holding up a red dress.

I shook my head and she did the same. I looked at her as she continued looking. I wasn't used to Danielle being so excited to go out with someone other than Randy. "Sooo.. You and Randy really done?" I asked.

Shrugging her shoulders, she turned to me. "I wouldn't say done. But, I'm just exploring other options. Tommy is a really nice guy. I hope Randy does the same, but I doubt he will." She rolled her eyes.

I leaned against the wall. "Why don't you think so?"

"He crashed my first date with Tommy." I looked at her with wide eyes and she nodded her head. "His body was raging with jealously. I just pray he respects my decision. I don't need no drama."

"I'm sure he was just hurt love. Randy's not that type." I clarified.

"Love makes you do things you wouldn't expect yourself to do." She glanced at me before going to another rack. I followed closely behind her when I spotted a rib caged dress. I held it up, showing it to her. "That's really cute. You should get it."

I looked at her with uncertainty. Open cut dresses weren't my thing. I don't know if I was self conscious, but I just wasn't comfortable wearing them. "What?" She asked.

"I don't know.." I said softly.

"You should because you're beautiful, Malia. And you have the perfect body for it." She encouraged.

I bit my lip. "You think so?"

Giving me a smile, she nodded her head. "I know so. I hate Duane for this. I don't like seeing you so unsure of yourself. Whether you believe it or not, him cheating on you killed your confidence. You're regaining it slowly, but surely though."

I couldn't even argue with her because she was right. Duane had killed my confidence. I knew of the other girls he cheated on me with as well. I just never said anything. He just made me feel worthless at times. Looking at the dress, I decided to buy it.

"Speaking of Duane.." She started. "You two working things out?" She looked at me.

I chuckled a little. "Um, not quite."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "The hell he do now? I'm really gonna fuck him up this time and you're not gonna stop me." She snapped.

"No no. He's done nothing." I laughed at her. Again, she gave me a confused look. "Well, you're not the only one who wants to explore other options." I sung as I ran my finger down the rack. I bit my lip thinking about Khari. Every since that night at the pizza place, we hung out everyday. He was so different. He was a challenge and I liked that. He was an onion. So many layers.

"Are you biting your lip?" She walked closer. "Bitch... Did you get some dick?!" She semi-whispered.

I quickly looked around to see who heard that and shook my head. "No, Danielle!" I semi-yelled back.

She looked at me up and down, smirking. "You got something.. I wanna know who the hell gave it to you." I couldn't help the grow smile that appeared on my face. I looked away, flushed. The only thing I had received was a godly tongue. Once in the car, and the other time was when I was extremely stressed over a paper that's due in a week.

Danielle shifted all of her weight on one side, folding her arms. "We're not leaving until you tell me. He must be really good if he got you acting this way.." She chuckled.

Playing with my fingers, I sighed in happiness. "It's Khari."

I watched as her face turned to shocked quickly followed by a smile. "Bitch!!!" She screeched. I covered her mouth as she continued, shaking my head. Once she was finished, I removed my hand. "You and Khari?? Khari Valentine?!" She asked excitedly.

I nodded my head, sharing her excitement. "Who would've known, huh?"

"Oh bitch, I knew this was gonna happen. I'm just shocked that it's really happening." She chuckled. "I automatically approve because I think you are perfect for him. Just be patient because this new for him, I'm sure." I nodded my head, agreeing.

"We didn't have sex, though." I said.

"But?" She looked at me, smirking. I hated that she knew me.

"But, he did give me.. you know." I looked at her, running my hands through my hair.

"Nah, I'm not sure I know." She looked at me with her eyebrows raised. I smacked my lips at the fact that she was really going to make me say it. I shouldn't be shocked since she's Petty Labelle.

"He gave me oral." I poked the side of my mouth with my tongue, looking at her.

She wiggled her eyebrows at me causing me to flush in embarrassment. "Was it good?"

"More than good." I shrugged my shoulders. "I was missing out on the good life, I see."

She chuckled lowly, nodding her head. "Yeah, Randy was good too." She said lowly as she looked at a dress she seemed to like. I just looked at her because I knew she missed him more than she was letting on. Randy was her cinnamon apple and she knew it. We went to a few more stores before we found her a dress.

My phone vibrated as we walked out of the mall and I smiled seeing that it was from Khari. I chuckled seeing that he changed his name in my phone.

Zaddy 😘: Wyd?

Me: Leaving the mall with Danielle

"Tell bae that we're comingg." Danielle said looking at me. I looked over at her as we walked out to the car. "Don't look at me like that. You know you wanna see him."

I unlocked my car doors and I slid in. I texted Khari to tell him that we were on our way to his place. He responded with an ok and I placed my purse back in my purse. "I think I'm falling for him.." I blurted out as I crank up the car. I could feel Danielle's eyes on me.

"Don't beat yourself up about it, love. Just go with the flow. Overthinking causes problems." I sighed heavily before nodding my head. She was right. We pulled out of the mall parking lot and headed over to Khari's. It took us thirty minutes to get there because five o'clock traffic was something serious.

As we pulled up to his apartment complex, we noticed him outside talking with Randy. I heard Danielle sigh loudly as I killed the engine. "Just be normal girl." I encouraged. I slightly bit my lip at Khari's appearance. All he had one was a white long sleeve shirt and a pair of white joggers. He also sported a white hat that covered his eyes. It looked like he had went to get a shape up as well.

"So, you gonna get out or you gonna continue to eye rape the man?" Danielle asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I cleared my throat and grabbed my purse before getting out of the car. I heard Danielle laughing causing me to shake my head.

"Wassup Malia?" Randy spoke as I walked up to where they were.

I looked him over, giving him a small smile. He looked so stressed out and I could smell the weed on him. "Hey Randy.. How are you?"

He briefly glanced at Danielle walking up before looking back at me. "Better already."

I smiled again as I diverted my attention to Khari who never took his eyes off of me. Since I was up close, I could see his eyes  which rarely held any emotion. Lately, however, that was different. They seemed to twinkle these days. "Hello." I spoke softly.

"Hello, Ms. King." His eyes traveled down my body and I started to feel self conscious. I also started to feel small under his intense glare. "You look beautiful as always." He winked his eye.

Like a fool, I blushed really hard. I had to look away and I could hear him chuckle lowly. "Bestieeeee!" Danielle screeched, hugging him tight.

"Wassup best Fran?" He smirked.

She shook her head. "Nothing much. I'm hungry, do you have food?"

"He better still have food because I just went grocery shopping with him the other day." I looked at him as he chuckled again.

"Uh oh.." Danielle joined in with him.

"Yes, I have food. You cooking?" He looked at me.

We stared at each other for what seemed like infinity. "I guess so." I responded softly.

"Yes!" Danielle said.

"Hey Danielle." Randy gritted through his teeth. You could hear the annoyance in his voice. Looking at him, I knew he wasn't happy that Danielle was attempting to ignore his presence. I shook my head because I didn't want to imagine how he was feeling.

She scrunched her nose up at him, rolling her eyes. I knew she was upset at him for crashing her date with Bumpy. They really just needed to communicate their feelings. I was confused because they had been excellent at that at one point.

"Is that weed?" She glared at him. His angry expression soften a little as he licked his lips. He sighed heavily, nodding his head. "Really, Randy?" She looked at him with so much disappointment.

"My epilepsy starting back up. That's why I'm crashing at Khari's.." He explained.

I looked at him with a shock expression. I wasn't aware that he had epilepsy. Well, it makes sense now. Maybe he smokes to keep his nerves calm. Danielle seemed to understand as she nodded her head. It was good she still cared, though. "Come on, let's go inside.." Khari said.

"Good, I'm freezing. I don't see how y'all niggas just stand in cold weather." Danielle responded as she headed upstairs to his apartment. We all chuckled, falling behind her.

As we walked into his apartment, I smiled at his notes being plastered over his wall. He was really devoted in getting closer to God which was another plus. Danielle looked at him as he plopped down on the couch. "I'm proud of you."

All he did was smile which caused me to smile again. "Gonna invite Kaleigh?" He looked at me.

"No, she's currently at Howard working on a research project." He nodded. I went into the kitchen to see what was in his freezer. I decided on fried chicken, mac & cheese, and green beans. I just had taste for some southern styled food.

"Wassup with you and bro?" Randy asked from behind me.

I took out the chicken, sitting it in water and turning around to look at him. "I'm not sure." I watched as him as he discussed his notes with Danielle.

"Whatever it is.. I like it." He chuckled. "He need a girlfriend or something. His lonely ass."

I smirked at him because of the irony. His smiled dropped so face. "That's me now huh." He said, rolling his eyes as he looked back at Danielle.

"Give her time." I walked over to him, placing my hand on his shoulder. "Look around.. This is your time to do so because when y'all get back together, it would be a no no."

"How can you be so sure?" 

I looked back at Danielle before returning my gaze to him. "She loves you. True love always come back." I moved back into the kitchen to look in the cabinets. Reaching up, I grabbed the Mac & cheese and four cans of green beans.

"So what's on the menu?" I heard Khari's thick Louisiana accent from close behind me.

I rolled my eyes in delight as I inhaled his scent. "Fried chicken, macaroni, and green beans."

"Hmm." His mouth was near my ear. "I hope it's Cajun Mac and cheese." He whispered causing a chill to go down my spine.

"I—I'm not sure how to make that." I said honestly.

He stepped away causing me to turn around and look at him. He was smiling. "Finally, something I can teach you."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Yesss. I'm not a Ms. Know it all." He snorted causing me to hit him playfully. "Hush." He threw his hands up in defense. "Did Randy have an attack?" I said suddenly concerned.

He nodded his head. "Yeah. He had one while he was driving. I'm looking after him until his medication comes through." I frowned a little. That had to be scary.

"I hate seeing you frown. Could you not?" He said seriously as he lifted my chin up.

"I'm sorry.." He shook his head, leaning in and pecking my lips.

"You're good." My cheeks turned dark red causing me to look away. I felt like a little girl when I was around him. The butterflies in my stomach were definitely real. "You're cute when you blush baybeh." He whispered, and grinned.

"Thank you." I whispered back.

"Ok lovebirds.." Danielle yelled.

Khari and I chuckled, and he backed away from me. I briefly glared at her causing her to chuckle. "How was practice?" I asked, looking back at him. He went over to the fridge, grabbing a bottled water.

"It was practice. I'm tired as hell, though." He shrugged his shoulders.

"What time is the game tomorrow?"

"7." I nodded my head, and returned to the sink to check if the chicken was ready. "How was classes?" He asked as he hopped on the counter.

"Thursday's are my chill days. So, easy breezy." I looked at him. His phone rung causing him to reach in his pocket. I decided to give him some privacy and headed into the living room where Randy was desperately trying to talk to Danielle. I plopped on the couch, between the two. "We're going to try some effective communicating." I said, looking between them.

"There's nothing to discuss." Danielle shook her head, continuing to scroll on her phone.

"There's plenty to discuss. You two still love each other. It's clear." I looked at her.

As she responded to a text message, she sighed softly. "I never denied that. He needs to understand that I'm hurt as hell and he knows why.." She glared at him and he sunk in his seat. "Until then, I'll continue to 'overreact' as he say." She rolled her eyes returning her attention to her phone.

I looked at Randy for an explanation. He couldn't even look at me. He had to have done something really horrible then. "Did you cheat?" I whispered.

"No." He mumbled.

"He took my virginity and treated me like shit at that party." Danielle blurted out.

"Randy!" I said, snapping my head at him. I could see the tears forming in his eyes. At that point, I calmed down. He didn't need anyone chastising him right now. They really needed to talk this out.

"Fuck... Danielle I'm sorry, ok? Baby I'm so sorry.." He pleaded. "Can't you see that I've been shit without you? I just need my fucking cinnamon apple back.. I can't take it watching you go out with other dudes.."

Danielle was silent so I looked over at her. The tears was streaming down her face. "Go talk." I said to the both of them, handing her my keys. "Full tank."

She reluctantly took them, and I stood up to go back in the kitchen. They quietly left as I returned to the sink. Khari was still on the phone so I quietly washed my hands before taking the chicken out of the pack. I cleaned them then took flour and seasoning, placing it in a bag.

"Lo siento.." Khari spoke in Spanish. Who was he apologizing to? He sighed a little, placing his phone into his pocket. I decided not to ask. He would tell me if he wanted me to know.

As I set up things to cook the chicken, I noticed him taking out bell pepper, Cajun seasoning, and sausages. He placed the box of Mac and cheese back into the cabinet. I looked at him with confusion. "What's that for?"

He looked at me with a smirk on his face. "The Mac and cheese."

"What kind of Mac and cheese is this?" I asked.

"The only mac and cheese I know."  He laughed a little. "I promise it's good. My grandma got me hooked on this." My ears perked up at the mention of a family member he didn't discuss. "That was her on the phone by the way."

"Hmm.. Are you and her close?" I cracked two eggs into a bowl, dipping the chicken before placing it in the flour. Carefully, I placed it into the grease.

"Not really. She's my grandma on my dad side. So, we were in and out of each other's lives. When I had to stay with my dad, we would talk every now and then, but nothing too serious. She was just upset that I left without telling her." He explained as he grabbed a skillet, placing it on the stove.

"She's Spanish?" I asked.

He nodded his head. "Yeah, my dad is not an African American. He's half Dominican and Haitian."

"What a combination." I watched as the chicken cooked.

"Yeah." He cut up the sausages before placing them in the skillet. I took the chicken out of the fryer and placed another set in. "She says that my dad is getting worse these days." I didn't say anything, instead I allowed him to finish. "You know that scar you saw on my back?"

I looked at him, nodding my head. "Yeah, why?"

"He did that." He said simply as he added red and green pepper into the skillet. He quietly stirred before clearing his throat.  "One night while I was sleep, he took a knife and sliced my back." My eyes grew wide.

"Why would he do that?" I asked in what came out to be a whisper.

He shrugged his shoulders. "He hated me. Still do."

I took out the chicken with a small pout. I hated thinking about Khari getting hurt. It hurt knowing he went through that especially with his father. How could you hate your own kid? Turning off the fryer, I looked back over at him. He was sprinkling flour and Cajun seasoning over the sausage and pepper.

"Did he ever say why he hates you?" I asked softly.

He shook his head no. "My grandma think he's mentally ill." He looked at me.

"No meds?"

"We don't get mentally ill." He shook his head, grabbing the milk out of the frig. I watched as he gradually added the milk and stirred occasionally. His statement caught me off guard.

"What do you mean we don't get mentally ill?" I looked at him with my eyebrows raised.

"Black people." He said in a duh tone. "That's a white person's thing."

I was a little taken aback. I wasn't expecting him to say that, at all. "That's not true. Not a such thing as a white person's thing especially when it affects black people the most. Black people are more likely to become mentally ill than any other race."

He turned down the stove before grabbing a pot, putting water in it. He turned the other eye on high as he placed the pasta into the pot and sat it on the stove. "How?" He asked.

"We're just more likely to experience more trauma, violence, and poverty which affects our mental psyche." I watched as he thought it over. "Your dad being mentally ill is not impossible. Someone needs to help him before he hurts anyone else or himself."

He didn't say anything which meant he was thinking. I walked behind him, lifting his shirt up slowly. The long, gruesome scar appeared causing my heart to ache. I could feel his body tense as I ran my hands over the scar. As I placed soft kisses on it, his body froze.

"Just look at it like your tattoos. It's art. It makes you, you." I whispered. "You probably will never forget, but you need to forgive.. God won't forg—"

"'For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses...' Matthew, verse 14." He said, cutting me off.

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I laid my head on his back, smiling. "Si, papi."

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