chapter nine | malia

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"Everybody wanna be black, but no one want these black problems."

Deciding on a pair of light blue boyfriend jeans, I slid them on to match my olive green, long sleeved button up. It was cold outside so I turned in my pumps for my light brown knee high boots. Placing all of my necessary items into my Hermes bag, I went over to the mirror to apply on a little makeup. I wanted to keep it simple today so I vouched only for eyeliner and a nude color lipstick. After running water through my hair to wake up my curls, I went back to the closet to grab my brown Olivia Pope coat. Adjusting my hearing aid, I kicked the door closed.

I honestly wasn't sure why I still wore these hearing aids. Lately, I have noticed that my hearing has been the same the last six months. I even felt as if my hearing was progressing, not regressing. I'd have to make a doctor's appointment real soon.

"I really hope you're dressing up for Khari." Kaleigh blurted as she came out of the shower. "You're cute though, boo."

Not quite.

Duane begged me to meet up with him at Starbucks, claiming we needed to talk. I wasn't trying to impress him, though.

"Thank you. I'm looking good for myself. And Khari and I are just friends."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Sure."

I looked at her causing her the giggle. Her and Danielle were so sure that Khari and I would become more than friends. Don't get me wrong, Khari is very handsome. However, he is far from boyfriend material. I'm not even sure he is even looking for a girlfriend.

"Seriously Leigh, we are."

"The way he defended your honor the other night, I'm not so sure." She held her hands up in defense. "He wanted that guy to leave you alone." She started laughing.

Rolling my eyes playfully, I didn't tell her the reason why he'd beat the poor guy. I figured he didn't want everyone in his business. I wanted him to trust that his secrets were safe with me. I think that's the ultimate betrayal. Befriending someone and allowing them to confide in you only for you to spill what they didn't want spilled.

I shrugged it off and grabbed my bag. I walked over, placing a kiss on her cheek. "See you tonight at the game."

"Okay, have fun wherever." She waved me off.

Looking at my collection of sunglasses, I decided to go with the Armani's today. I placed the big frames over my eyes, fluffed my curly hair in the mirror and walked out of the dorm. Carefully, I walked down the stairs and out into the cold air to my car. My phone rung as I got into the car. It was Duane.

I rolled my eyes instinctively and dropped it into my bag, cranking up the car. I was fully aware that I was late, but he was on my time. I didn't have to meet up with him. This was a favor. To be even pettier, I waited a good five minutes until the car was warm before I pulled out of the parking lot.

As I drove to the Starbucks where Duane pleaded for me to meet him, my drifted to when we were happy. Beyoncè's Hello softly played in the background as I hummed the lyrics. My thoughts took an unexpected turn to Khari. I couldn't fight the smile that formed on my lips. He was like a breath of fresh air. Although he was bit hot headed, he carried sincere vibes. Our friendship could grow. I was looking forward to it.

I put my car in park as I sat in front of Starbucks. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my bag and got out of the car. I couldn't lie like I wasn't nervous because I was. I hadn't seen Duane since August. I didn't even break up with him in person. I did it over the phone. However, this wasn't the first time he'd reached out. This was just the time I was ready to face him. I was hurt. He had broke my heart.

Pulling the door handle, I walked in and the smell of coffee instantly penetrated my nose. I loved the smell of coffee for some reason. Glancing across the room, I spotted Duane in the back. I shook my head at how handsome he was. The combination of tall, caramel, and sex appeal was enough for me to go crazy. I had to give props where it was due.

I walked towards the back and he spotted me immediately. His face gleam in delight as our eyes met. I knew I still loved him, but he had done the unthinkable. He pushed out my seat and thanked him as I sat down. He'd already ordered my drink. Vanilla Bean, my favorite.

"You look really good." Duane complimented as I took a sip of my drink.

"I know." I said simply.

He rolled his eyes a little causing me to chuckle. I couldn't lie like he wasn't looking good either. I would never tell him, however. He was wearing a tailor made, black, wool suit. With his neatly trimmed, low haircut and green eyes, I had to keep my composure. Duane was half Latino and half black. However, he inherited more of his mother's African American features.

"You can't say thank you?" He asked.

This time it was me who rolled my eyes. "Thank you Duane." I looked at him expectantly. "Why am I here?"

He sighed a little, looking away for a minute.

"I miss you." He said quietly.

I almost choked on my latte. Duane Guerra missed me?!

"I don't get y'all." I said in between laughs.

He looked at me like he was confused. "What you mean?"

I sat back in my seat, placing my leg over the other and folding my arms. "You get the girl you want, cheat & take her for granted then realize what you had...when it's probably too late."

"It was a mistake, Malia." He leaned forward.

I read his eyes which I could tell that he really meant that. However, an apology couldn't mend my broken heart. Investing your all in a guy only to be messed over has to be the worst feeling in the world.

"I saw the girl who you slept with." I looked at my nails as if they were more important now. Actually they were. I needed a fill-in. I looked back up at him. "She was cute no lie. You obviously have good taste."

"She not you, Malia."

I nodded. "Obviously."

"Malia." He sighed in frustration. "Can you give me another chance? I'm begging and we both know that I don't beg."

Narrowing my eyes at him, I was trying to find his motive. We hadn't spoken since August. Why he reached out to me all of a sudden?

"Give me one good reason why I should." I took another sip of my latte, waiting for an answer.

"Because I love you."

Again, I almost choked. "That's some bullshit. We both know that you never loved me, Duane. Or we wouldn't be here today."

"Look, don't ever question on whether I loved you or not. Because I truly did. And still do. You're the only girl I've ever loved. I just let this basketball shit go to my head. I realized that I made a mistake, damn. I'm admitting my mistakes like a man. I've faced them and now I'm here to get the girl I love back. Ima nigga, Ima fuck up."

I let out a loud laugh causing people to look in our direction. Duane had a horrified look on his face because he hadn't said anything funny.

"I'm sorry." I said. "But, that was funny. You really said that like I'm supposed to deal with your infidelities." I started to laugh again.

"So, you just gonna start over with a new nigga instead of work things out with me? Relationships are work. You can't run the first chance you get. I'm not perfect and you aren't either. Ever thought that you were the reason why I cheated?"

My head snapped up in his direction. I looked at him like he'd really lost his mind. Apparently, he did lose his mind.

"Excuse me? Yes, blame it on me. Don't take responsibility for your actions, Duane." I said sarcastically. "So instead of talking to me about whatever the issue was, you go out and cheat with the first bi—girl you laid your eyes on? You're the reason why we are where we are."

"I did—"

I raised my hand. "Save it."

Before I could get up, he caught my arm and pulled me into him. "Malia, I'm really sorry. Please. We can work this out."

Tears formed in my eyes as I stared ahead. It's hard when your mind and heart on different accords. I gently pulled away from him, turning around to face him. "You really cut me deep, Duane." I could hear my voice breaking, but I needed to get this off my chest. "For months, I felt worthless and ugly. My scars are just now healing. You'd really have to just earn my trust back and we can go from there." The tears were cascading down my face.

Duane reached to wipe them, but I moved my face. He sighed lightly, nodding his head and getting the hint. "Okay, that's fair. I promise I'm gonna do all I can."

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