chapter four | khari

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"You did good for the first day, kid. You catch on fast." Tyrese complimented.

I slipped on my shirt and nodded my head. "Thanks."

"No problem. With the addition of you, I think we can go all the way." He said as he patted my back and headed to the shower. I wasn't used to compliments especially from no guy so he caught me off guard. I just shook my head and threw my bag over my shoulder. Practice was little more rigorous here since the team had higher expectations.

I walked out of the locker room and out to the chilly night. Since the practice gym was just five minutes away from my apartment, I decided to just walk from practice everyday. I stopped by a small shack and bought a chicken plate. After getting my order, I headed home.

Once I made it to the apartment complex, I walked up the stairs to my apartment. I stuck the key into the door and walked in.

"Fuck!" I yelled as I hit my toe.

I flicked the lights on and threw my bag on the couch. I turned on my speakers, plugging up my phone and scrolled until I landed on Kendrick's album. I stripped out of my shirt because it was a tad bit warm. Kendrick Lamar's Wesley's Theory blasted quietly through the speakers as I sat on my mattress, ate, and stared at the wall. All I had was a couch, a mattress, sheets, and a laptop. It wasn't much, but it was enough.

I enjoyed this in a sense. It got me away from people. However, it allowed me to be a prisoner in my own mind. I felt trapped.

I glance over at my mom's picture on the wall, grimacing. I missed everything about her. Her touch, laugh, advice, and the unwanted kisses. We were extremely close, especially since she was a single mother. My father never existed until she was gunned down senseless.

Before she was murdered, she'd talk about the importance of me reading and understanding the Bible. She wanted me to get closer to God and have him with me at all times. Every night, I remembered her giving me a little Bible study lesson. I'd even had her Bible that she read her scriptures in.

However, once she was killed, I never touched it. I didn't believe in it, still don't. I don't believe there is a God because if it was, she'd still be here. How can this so called God allow someone who loved him as much as she did, be killed in a senseless act? It just didn't make sense to me.

There was tug and pull at my heart, though. For some reason, I felt bad that I didn't believe that there was a God. In the back of mind, I knew I was wrong. A loud knock at the door caused me to snap out of my thoughts. I looked at the clock, noticing that it was a little over eight p.m.

"Who is it?!" I yelled.

"It's Randy man. Open up, it's cold out here!"

I closed my plate and I got up to go open the door. Once I swung the door open, he and Danielle hurriedly stepped in, closing the door.

"Hey Khari." Danielle greeted.

"Wassup Dan?" I greeted, giving her a brief hug. "How's things?"

She sat her purse on the stand before shrugging. "They're going. Really not complaining, you?"

"I'm aight."

She looked at me like she wasn't buying it, but she didn't protest it. At least not yet. I looked over to see Randy glaring at me. I chuckled because it was a funny sight. Randy is short, about 5'8 snd he had big ears so he looked like an elf. His dark chocolate exterior with those unusual blue eyes of his also made him look weird. Girls seemed to find him quite attractive, though.

Before he was a one woman man, he had his fair share of women. I always expected that he would eventually settle down because it fits him. I think Danielle is perfect for him.

"You could put on a shirt, fam." He suggested, looking at me.

"You at my crib, kid." I looked at him. I walked over to my bed, reaching for my shirt. I pulled it over my head and looked at him. "Happy?"

"Fasho." He nodded.

"This is nice Khari. Nice size." Danielle said looking around. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks." I went into the kitchen as Dan took a seat on the bar stool and Randy sat on the small couch. "I don't have a lot, but I'm good."

"You really don't need much. Just what you have and food." Danielle said shrugging her shoulders.

"My Nubian queen is right." Randy agreed.

I noticed that Danielle's cheeks were red indicating that she was blushing. I understood why he'd given her that nickname. Danielle was dark chocolate as well with a full figure. She wore her hair in the curly up do, mostly because she was a Natural Hair Enthusiast. She had an African background as well.

"Anyway." Danielle started. "How are your classes?

I shrugged. "It's cool. They seem pretty easy. I was glad that I did do those college courses in high school. I skipped some things I dislike."

"See, I told you. You swore that it was pointless." She chuckled.

"It was, at the time." I quipped.

"Do you like our friends? And Elgin?" She rolled her eyes at his name.

"He clearly don't like Elgin since he broke his nose." Randy added.

"Ya homeboy asked for it, kid." I said as I took a bottled water out of the frig. "Tell him to close his mouth next time. Or else it's gonna be worse. Not a threat either." I took a sip as I looked at him.

"Elgin has a smart mouth and he believes that everyone is under him. I really don't like him either. I don't understand what Kaleigh sees in him. He's a prick." Danielle said.

"Yeah, I see the way he looks at Malia, too." I said, more to myself.

I never got a positive vibe from Elgin today. He seemed to be trouble and someone I'd have to keep an eye out on.

"See. I told you, Randy. I'm not the only one who can tell that he eye rapes her."

He waved us both off. "That's my nigga until he show me otherwise."

She rolled her eyes. "Your choice." She flickered her eyes back to me. "So, how do you like Malia?"

I narrowed my eyes at her as she smirked. I knew where this was going with this. Danielle always tried to hook me up with someone, but I'd always run the girl off. They can't seem to appreciate a compassionate male these days. I also thought that love was myth. No such thing as love, especially at our age. In my opinion, of course. What Randy and Danielle was experiencing, was infatuation. Totally different.

"She's cool." I said without going into depth.

I heard her smack her lips which caused Randy to smack his.

"Stop trying to hook my bro up with people. He'd find the right girl when it's time." He said. "Ain't that right?"

"I ain't really looking. That love shit overrated."

The way Danielle furrowed her eyebrows, I knew I had just opened a whole new can of worms.

"How is it overrated?" She folded her arms.

I sighed, not really wanting to have this conversation. "It doesn't exist."

"It does." She retorted.

"You're not gonna win bro." Randy sung. Danielle slit her eyes at him causing him to slouch down on the couch. "Ima shut up."

She returned her focus over to me with softened eyes. Danielle had knew me longer than Randy.  She is what I considered a best friend. She knew more things about me than any other person on this earth.

"Love exists, Khari."

I glared at her causing her to wave me off.

"It does. It is not an illusion. It's a verb meaning you have to act on it. If love didn't exist, your mother wouldn't have been your mother."

"You know that's not what I meant, Danielle. I know my mother loved me because that's natural for a mother to do. I'm speaking on romance. That, my friend, does not." I said finality.

She took the hint, but not before adding another statement to her argument.

"God is love, Khari. If you don't know God, you won't ever experience love." She patted my hand, giving me a look of sympathy.

"Damn that was deep ma. Lemme take you out to dinner." Randy walked over to where she sat.

She giggled, taking his head into her hands and kissing him. The scene warmed my heart. Just a little.

"Deal." She looked at him.

"Well my friend." Randy looked at me. "Gotta go son."

I gave them both a head nod as they walked out of the door. Danielle turned around to give me another look.

"Malia is a good girl. You should get to know her. For some reason, I think she'd be good for you." She gave me another brief hug before catching up with Randy.

I closed the door, locking it before plopping back down on my mattress. Danielle made good points until she brought up God. I didn't believe God existed so if he was love, there was no way love existed. Or did they?

I shook off the thought and turned up my music.

I remember you was conflicted.

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