A/N At this point Remy is a little bit broken and he's trying to fix it. Sexual content WARNING

Ever since Cecil had taken Remy to the cafe, the boy had been different.

Distant and cold, but also clinginger, always wanting to feel Cecil's hands on him. While Cecil didn't really mind this part, since Remy said he felt safer when he was in his arms, and Cecil liked to be a source of comfort for his boyfriend, he missed Remy's sarcasm and dry humor. Since that day, Remy hadn't made any jokes. When Cecil said something stupid, Remy was suspiciously quiet, chewing his lip instead of snapping and calling him stupid. He was always in his head, never really listening and having Cecil repeat his words multiple times before responding to him.

Cecil had allowed it for a week, not saying a word when Remy would suddenly zone out and press his face into Cecil's side, but he couldn't watch this anymore, especially not when he didn't understand what had really happened that day at the coffee shop. He didn't really have a plan to make Remy talk, hadn't prepared any speech to get the closed off boy to open up to him, but Cecil was already standing on the Reed's porch when he realized this, and he was concerned enough about his boyfriend that he didn't hesitate in raising his hand and knocking on the front door.

Mr. Reed opened the door, looked at Cecil for a moment, and then sighed loudly. They had yet to see one another since Cecil had been caught with his tongue down his son's throat, most likely because Cecil had refused to enter the Reed's residence if Remy's father was home.

"Normally, I wouldn't let you inside," they older man admitted, eyeing Cecil up and down before opening the door wider to let him in. "You're welcome in, Mr. Clarke. Nice glasses".

Cecil grimaced at the name Mr. Clarke as he stepped into the house, reaching his head up to push said glasses up his nose. He was still upset with his appearance while he wore the lenses, but Remy had seen them on enough times that Cecil couldn't really hide the reality of his poor eyesight. "Why?"

"Why wouldn't I let you inside, or why am I letting you inside now?". There was a pause. "Or why do I think your glasses are nice?" The older man shut the front door. Cecil didn't know where to go, so he shoved his hands in his pockets and awkwardly leaned back on his heels, looking down the hallway in the direction of Remy's bedroom.

"Why are you letting me in now?" Cecil asked, his eyes moving from Remy's closed door. "I'm dating your eighteen year old son who, until me, claimed to be asexual. I'd hate me too". The man was quiet, staring at Cecil with narrowed eyes for long enough that the boy began to shift uncomfortably. "My hair is also kind of silver..."

"Follow me," Mr. Reed said, not sparing Cecil another glance as he started off the hall towards Remy's room, and then turned into an open doorway before venturing that far down the hall. Reluctantly, Cecil trailed behind him, glancing longingly off in the direction of Remy's room before turning into the kitchen. Mr. Reed was leaning against the island, waiting for him, and when Cecil entered he gestured for him to take a seat on one of the stools across from him. Slowly, Cecil obeyed. "So, you're dating my son now?"

"He didn't tell you?" Cecil questioned, and then immediately wished he hadn't since the older man shot him a look that could kill. "It probably just slipped his mind".

"Is he aware that you two are in a relationship?" Mr. Reed asked and Cecil's eyes widened in surprise. "Is this just a one sided thing that you're calling dating? Does Remy even realize that you're telling people".

"Oh course he knows!" Cecil said loudly, and then he lowered his voice at one look from Mr. Reed. "He knows we're dating. We've gone out on dates that he's agreed to. He's met all my friends-"

"Does he know you're coming here right now?"

Cecil paused. "Are you asking me that to know if you can kill me without alarming your son?" Cecil asked and the man actually looked amused for a moment.

"I'm a police officer, Mr. Clarke," Mr. Reed said. "There will be no killing involved". It was silent for a moment and Cecil searched his mind for something to say. Instead, Mr. Reed spoke again. "Did you hit my son?"

"What?" Cecil asked. "What are you talking about? I would never-"

"There's a bruise on his jaw and a cut lip, like someone hit him," Mr. Reed continued. "Was it you?"

Cecil paused, his mouth half open. It took him a minute to realize that Remy hadn't spoken to his father about anything lately. "No," he said, and the man didn't look convinced, probably due to the time Cecil had taken to answer. "I really didn't. I'd never hurt him". Cecil paused and dropped his eyes, "but I know who did and I think he's the reason that Remy's been so distant lately".

Now Mr. Reed looked incredibly intrigued, his eyes no longer holding a hint of distaste when he looked at Cecil, now replaced by worry for his son. "What happened?" he demanded in a tone that told Cecil he wasn't allowed to deny him the truth. Since it was Cecil's goal to get this man to like him, they didn't have a problem.

"We were getting coffee last week when an older man came up to our table and talked to him for a while about... about things I didn't understand. He said something about Remy being the reason his siblings died and his father being arrested-" Cecil trailed off as Mr. Reed's jaw clenched. "It's true, isn't it?"

"Of course it's not true," The older man snapped, his fist clenching on the countertop. "None of it was Remy's fault".

"No," Cecil cut in softly, trying to to further offend Mr. Reed, who was seeming to like him less and less the longer they talked. "I didn't think it was Remy's fault. I was just...I didn't realize that he had other siblings that Atticus. Siblings from before he was adopted... he never mentioned them. They died?"

"They did," Mr. Reed said solemnly. "He wouldn't tell you. He doesn't tell anyone". There was a long sigh then, "I'm surprised that he even told you he's adopted".

"Is it a good thing?" Cecil asked hopefully, and Mr. Reed shot him a pointed look, as if to say don't push me.

"Continue with your story, Mr. Clarke. You have yet to reach to the point where my son gets punched in the face".

"Right. Well, the man started saying names..." Cecil trailed off as he tried to remembered them but failed," and Remy freaked out and threw my coffee in his face. I tried to get out of the booth to... I don't know, protect him, maybe, but he pushed me back and then the man hit him in the face. I thought he was going to be unconscious, but he just got right up and stood his ground... more words were said, that's when he said the thing about Remy's siblings, and then he left and Remy just sat there with his head in my arm for the rest of the night". Mr. Reed looked mad, more mad than he had yet all night, and Cecil felt that he knew why. "Do you know who this man is?"

"I know who he is," Mr. Reed said quickly. "I've never met him. He wouldn't be alive if I had".

"He's the one who hurt Remy, isn't he?" Cecil asked, and Mr. Reed looked up at him through his lashes, his eyes very blue. Cecil was struck by how much Atticus looked like his father for just a moment before the older man looked away.

"He's one of them". Cecil chewed his lip and closed his eyes tightly. "If he really cares about you, which I fear he does, he'll tell you about it". Cecil didn't know what to feel, how to react. On one hand, Remy cared about him, and even his father could see it. On the other hand, Remy had gone through something terrible in the past, and it was still affecting him now.

Cecil kept his face passive and ducked his head.

It was quiet for what felt like a long time as Cecil thought back to that night in the cafe, thought about the name that Remy said under his breath over and over against Cecil's arm with a broken voice. "Mr. Reed, who's Beckett?"

"My brother". Cecil jumped as he spun around his eyes very wide as he eyed his small boyfriend standing in the doorway. "Hi Clarke, I didn't know you were coming over".

"Are you disappointed?" Cecil asked, chewing his lip and shoving his hands into his pockets. He wasn't sure how Remy would react, catching his boyfriend of barley two weeks in his kitchen talking to his father about something Remy had avoided speaking about many times.

"Not even a little bit," Remy said, "just surprised to see you is all". Remy looked at his father then and sunk his teeth into his lip, which was mostly healed by now, but still red. "Can I steal him?"

"Uh," Mr. Reed began, and Cecil glanced back at him to see Mr. Reed looking between his son and Cecil quickly. "Sure".

"Thanks," Remy said, and before Cecil could say anything else to the older man, perhaps thank him for taking the time to speak with him, just say anything to make his boyfriend's father like him, Remy's small hand wrapped around his pointer finger and pulled him from the room.

As soon as they were out of sight, and hearing distance from the older man, Cecil quickened his pace and wrapped his arms around Remy's waist, pulling him back against his chest, making it difficult from them to walk forwards, but Cecil still clung onto him. "Are you alright, sweets?"

"I'm always alright," Remy said, shuffling forwards and Cecil sighed, bending down to easily lift his boyfriend off of his feet. "Clarke-"

Cecil ignored him, taking long strides to carry him down the hall and then turning into Remy's bedroom and allowing the boy to drop back onto his feet. The second he was standing again, Cecil's hands fell to Remy's hips, turning him around and then hugging him so Remy's face was pressed against his chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Cecil ask, ducking his head to press a kiss right behind Remy's ear. He felt Remy shiver and fought a smile. There was no response. "Remy?"

"No," Remy said, and then his hands were on Cecil's chest, forcing him backwards. Cecil willingly went, moving back until his knees hit Remy's bed and he instinctively sat, looking up at his boyfriend who was looking back at him, his gaze unfocused. "I don't want to talk".

"Then what do you need?" Cecil asked, soothingly pressing his palms into Remy's sides and running them down to his hips. "I'll do anything I can to help". Cecil was thinking more along the lines of going out and buying Remy food, or taking him some place that makes him happy, so he choked as Remy easily straddled his waist, small hands resting on his shoulders, and said the most sinful words that Cecil had yet to hear come out of that perfect mouth.

"Fuck me".

"Uhh," Cecil said, directing his attention to Remy's ceiling as his hands gently tried to shift the boy back on his lap so he wouldn't feel his excitement growing beneath his sweatpants. Even though he didn't think that it was a good idea, Remy just coming out and asking what he wanted had his body reacting before his mind. "Remy, I don't think-"

"That I'm ready?" Remy asked, sounding annoyed. He slapped Cecil's hands off his hips and then moved closer, forcing their bodies together and Cecil groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. "You don't know Clarke-" Remy cut off suddenly and Cecil's eyes opened to see Remy looking down at the space between them. "I see you're ready".

"Remy," Cecil groaned, dropping his head down onto the smaller boys shoulder. "Remy, this isn't a good idea?"

"Oh really?" Remy asked, rolling his hips once against Cecil's hardness, causing him to moan.

"Just because I have an erection doesn't mean that I'm thinking with it," Cecil explained. "Remy, we've only been dating for two weeks. About two weeks ago, you thought you were asexual. You're rushing this, Remy, and I don't think it's a good idea".

"You don't want to sleep with me?" Remy asked, his hazel eyes very wide and innocent.

"That is clearly not true," Cecil said, glancing down at their laps, and then sighing. When he looked back up, Remy's expression was completely blank. "Honey, you have no idea how badly I'd like to do this. Honestly, I've been thinking about it since the moment I first saw you, Remy, but I've gotten to know you since then, and I don't want to rush into anything. My last relationship revolved around sex and I want something more with you".

Remy sighed, closing his eyes tightly. "Cecil, I'm not asking you to do it with me all the time, just right now".

"Remy-"

"Clarke," Remy whispered, and then their eyes met and he breathed, "Cecil".

"I don't want to rush us," Cecil said softly and Remy sighed. "I don't want this to be... I don't want this to be sex. I want this to be..." love, he wanted to say so badly, but cut off when Remy's eyes widened. It was true, Cecil realized. He loved this boy, every single part of him, more than Cecil had ever loved anything before.

Remy's mouth descended onto his, open and warm, and Cecil immediately kissed him back, sliding his hands around his waist and pulling him closer as Remy's tongue entered his mouth, hesitantly, but the longer it was there, he gained confidence. It was slow and tender, and Cecil slowly raised one of his hands to gently cup Remy's delicate jaw and tilt his head towards him, and Remy opened his mouth further, sighing softly as Cecil's teeth sunk into his lower lip for just a second and then soothing it over for his tongue.

Slowly, Cecil eased himself back onto Remy's bed, his hand sliding up Remy's back to hold him close. Remy's hand reached behind himself, grabbing Cecil's arm and pulling it away from his back. Remy's hand slowly ran down his arm until their fingers were laced, and Cecil smiled against his mouth. It was nice, he thought, happy that Remy was deciding to take it slow. He didn't think his younger boyfriend was ready to lose his virginity yet, since he had his first kiss just weeks before. They should take some time to get to know one another better-

And then Remy directed his hand between them and pressed Cecil's hand against the front of his jeans. "Touch me".

"Remy," Cecil groaned, tightening his fingers on Remy's instead of releasing his hands and doing what he had asked. "I don't think-"

"It's not rushing anything if we're both ready," Remy assured, propping his free hand alongside of Cecil's head to hover above him. "Clar- Cecil, you think I'd let you touch me if I wasn't ready for you to touch me?" Cecil just blinked up at him and Remy sighed, dropping his head down so his forehead rested against Cecil's. Cecil's eyes closed and he tilted his head forward to press a kiss to the corner of his boyfriends lips. "I trust you, Cecil. For the first time in my life, I finally trust someone enough to do this. I feel comfortable with you". Remy sighed, pulling back and Cecil's eyes opened to watch Remy's lips form the words. "I want this. Please".

He still shouldn't do it, Cecil realized, but Remy was looking at him with very wide eyes, his pupils huge. So innocent, Cecil thought, raising a hand to brush over Remy's lower lip. "What are you doing to me, kid?"

And then Remy looked annoyed, and he huffed, but Cecil kissed the look off his face, carefully rolling them over on the bed so their positions were switched with Remy beneath him. A soft noise of surprise left Remy's lips, and then his hand pulled from Cecil's grasp and both of his arms slid around Cecil's neck. "You sure about this?" Cecil asked, again still Remy's mouth before thrusting his tongue against the other boys, preventing him from speaking for a full minute before Cecil pulled back and began trailing open mouth kisses down Remy's neck.

"Yeah," Remy painted, and then he let out a breathless laugh, the first laugh that Cecil had ever heard from him, and Cecil couldn't help but to grin against his boyfriend's neck before gently biting the skin there.

"What is it?"

Remy softly moaned at the feeling of Cecil's teeth on his neck, and then spoke in a shaky voice. "I wasn't actually sure that I would feel... uh, in the mood". Cecil's eyebrows raised and he pushed himself up into push up position above Remy.

"What do you mean?" he asked and Remy turned his head away, his cheeks flushing red. Quickly, Cecil's eyes raked down the smaller boys body, pausing at the slight bulge in the front of his jeans and humming in understanding. Instead of voicing his recognition, Cecil asked a question. "If you weren't in the mood, why were you so desperate to do it?"

"Well," Remy said, still looking away, his head turned and neck exposed so Cecil ducked his head to press a kiss against his collarbone. "I wanted to show you that I care about you, and that I'm ready, emotionally. I wasn't sure how my body would react, but I figured we could just do it anyways, right?"

Cecil grimaced against Remy's neck. "We wouldn't do this if you weren't aroused," he demanded and Remy made a noise of discomfort at the term but other than that ignored it.

"Why not?"

"Are you serious?" Cecil demanded, pulling back once again to look down at his boyfriend. Remy turned his head back to look up at him, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Sweetheart, that would hurt". And now Remy looked even more confused.

"Doesn't it hurt anyways?" Remy asked in a small voice and Cecil blinked down at him in surprise. He knew that Remy was a virgin, but he wasn't aware that the boy was this innocent. Something in Cecil's face must have answered his question because Remy's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You've had sex with two boys before and none of them felt pain?"

"Well it might be uncomfortable at first for a minute or so, but the pain fades and then it feels good," Cecil explained, and when Remy still looked skeptical, he added, "I've been on the bottom before, Remy. It doesn't feel bad. Why do you think people would do it if it hurt?"

"To please the other person," Remy said softly, and Cecil frowned.

"You wanted to have sex even though you thought it would be painful just to please me?" Remy nodded slowly, chewing on his lip. "Remy". Cecil ducked down to capture his mouth for just a second before pulling back again and grinning. "I'm going to show you what you've been missing out on," he promised before pulling back enough to tug on the bottom hem of Remy's shirt. Hazel eyes widened once more. "Well first we need to get your clothes off". 

"Uh, yeah, okay". Slowly, Remy raised his arms enough for Cecil to pull his shirt over his head. To make it easier, Remy lifted himself for a moment, but dropped back down the second he was freed from his clothing. "You too?" Without a word, Cecil pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it onto the floor along with Remy's. For a minute they didn't speak, only breathed as they appreciated the body for of the other. Remy cleared his throat. "Are you going to kiss me or-"

Cecil didn't even let him finish his sentence, giving him a long wet kiss before trailing his lips down his neck once more, though this time not having to stop at the collar of his shirt. He kissed all the way down his neck, taking a moment to suck on Remy's collarbone before trailing his mouth down to his left nipple, pressing a kiss upon it.

"What are you-" Remy cut off with a startled moan as Cecil's tongue slowly circled his nipple before flicking out against