Cecil was with Zane when he got the call, or more accurately calls. They were drinking in Cecil's living room, not a lot because Cecil still didn't want to revert back to his old ways, but enough that Zane laughed more easily, and Cecil was just starting to feel the tingling of slight intoxication.

He put his mixed drink down onto the coffee table before leaning back and stretching his arms over the back of the couch. Zane was currently telling Cecil about how terribly his last conquest had gone.

"So the poetry didn't work?" Cecil ask and Zane snorted.

"Fuck poetry," Zane said, and then he laughed. "I can't memorize that shit".

"It's alright".

Zane scoffed. "That's coming from you, the man who can recite Shakespeare at random ass times".

"I can recite a few lines, and I only do when they are appropriate," Cecil corrected.

"I'm not even going to pretending that I was listening to you," Zane said, finishing his drink and then reaching for the bottle of cake vodka off of the coffee table and moving to pour more in his glass. Cecil cut him off. "What the fuck, man?"

"No more for you". Cecil forced the bottle out of Zane's hands. "You need to go home- I've already hidden your keys so you're walking- and I'm saving you from your mother. My hopes are that by the time you finish walking your ass home, you'll be sober enough to not get caught underage drinking again. I know you like your dick, and I also know your mother has threatened to remove it if she catches you again".

"I do like my penis," Zane agreed, sipping at the rim of his glass before remembering that it was empty. "No more alcohol".

"That's right," Cecil agreed, patting his friend on the shoulder. "No more alcohol. We're making good decisions tonight".

"Technically you're making good decisions for me," Zane grumbled. "Speaking of good decisions, how's your boy Remy?"

"How is he, or how are we?" Cecil asked for clarification and Zane shrugged.

"Both".

"He's great". Zane looked skeptical. "I think he's getting better, I really do. I know something happened in the past, and he still hasn't spoken to me about it, but I'm not going to pressure him into telling me anything. He's just... been more relaxed lately. Ever since that day we almost kissed last week. Since then, we've been great".

"That's good, really good. I'm happy for you, Ce. You're being careful though, right?"

Cecil rolled his eyes. "It's Remy. You have nothing to worry about," he assured and Zane nodded.

"I hope-"

And then it happened. Zane was interrupted by a ring. The call.

"Speaking of Remy," Cecil said, looking at his phone. He was surprised since Remy typically didn't call him- he called Remy- which made him want to answer the phone even more, but he remembered all the times Zane got mad at him for answering Caroline's calls in the middle of a conversation. He shot a hesitant look to his friend.

"Jesus, are you gonna pick up already or what?"

"You're okay with that?"

Zane nodded. "Yeah man. Caroline was a total bitch, Remy's better for you than she was. I don't care if you answer a phone call of someone who's actually worth it".

"He is," Cecil agreed with a smile before answering the phone. "Hey sugar, what's up?"

"Oh". Remy's voice was a little deeper than normal and he cleared his throat. "I wasn't expecting you to pick up".

"Well I did," Cecil pointed out, and Remy only hummed. "Alright then. It's not that I don't want to talk to you or anything, but I'm just wondering if there's a particular reason as to why you've called me".

"You can go".

"What? No, Remy. Why'd you call?"

It was quiet for a moment. "I don't know".

"You don't know?" Cecil asked, and Remy suddenly made an exacerbated noise.

"I'm fine, Alright. I called you for some stupid fucking reason and it doesn't matter. Goodnight, Clarke".

"Rem, wait up-" Cecil began, but the line dropped. He pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it. "Well that was weird".

"What was it?" Zane asked as he stood from the couch.

"I'm not sure". Cecil eyes his focused on his standing best friend. "What are you doing? Where you going?"

"Home," Zane said with a shrug. "Since you took away the alcohol, I have no reason to stay".

"Damn," Cecil said with a shake of his head. "The truth comes out I guess. Is that the only reason we're friends? Because I provide you with alcohol?" Cecil teased and Zane laughed.

"As much as I'd like to deny your ego and say it was, it's not, and we both know it. Now, call Remy back, I know you want to. I'll get out of your hair". Zane flicked Cecil on the forehead as one last goodbye and let himself out through the front door.

Once again, Cecil was left with the big house all to himself. He couldn't even remember the last time he had seen either of his parents, much less spent time with them in the house.

Kicking his feet up on the coffee table, he looked at his phone again, brushing his thumb across the screen to unlock the device. Before he could even dial Remy's number, the phone buzzed in his hand.

"Remy?" He asked when he answered. "I was just gonna call you back. You alright?"

"I'm fine," Remy said, his voice very soft. "Can we just talk for a bit. I need to get something off my mind".

"Oh. Do you want to talk about... uh... shopping?" Cecil asked and Remy groaned.

"I really don't," Remy claimed, and then he sighed. "What are you doing right now?"

Cecil dropped his head back against the couch and turned his head to look towards the door. "I was just hanging out with Zane".

"Why didn't you tell me that I'm interrupting," Remy asked, and Cecil spoke quickly so the boy wouldn't hang up on him again.

"You're not. Zane just left".

"Oh". He couldn't tell if Remy was relieved or troubled with this information. "It's just us?"

"Uh... Yeah, if you're alone too?"

"I am," Remy agreed and Cecil furrowed his eyebrows. "So... What are you doing?"

Cecil looked at his abandoned drink on the table, and then leaned forward to pick it up and sip at the rim. "Drinking".

"Drinking What?"

"A mixed drink," Cecil said in a nonchalant voice. It wasn't a big deal, having only one drink every once and awhile. It became an issue when he was drinking enough to get drunk on a nightly basis.

"You're Drinking alcohol?"

"Shh babe," Cecil urged. "It's barely any alcohol. Not even a shot. I couldn't even get drunk if I tried".

"Are you going to try?"

"Only if you break my heart, beautiful," Cecil declared and Remy made a soft noise on the other end of the phone. "Do you called me just to talk?"

"Yes," Remy agreed. "I may seem emotionless, but I do get lonely sometimes".

"God," Cecil groaned, finishing his drink and returning it to the coffee table. "You're so adorable".

"Shut up," Remy said, but it sounded as if he didn't actually want him to.

"So you're not busy right now?"

"Do you need to rub it in?" Remy asked, though he didn't really sound bothered.

"Have you had dinner?"

"No".

"Would you like to?"

Remy was silent for a moment. "What? Like right now?"

"Yeah. I'm not doing anything, you're not doing anything, and neither of us has had dinner. Let's go out on a date, Rem," Cecil asked.

"Where?"

Cecil's eyebrows raised. "So you agree?"

"Maybe I would if you answer my damn question," Remy snapped and Cecil grinned.

"I don't care. I just want to see you". Remy snorted. "How does Italian sound?"

***

When Cecil pulled up to the curb before Remy's house, he notice the boy sitting in his front yard, looking up at the stars. Cecil turned his keys in the ignition, cutting the engine before climbing from the vehicle. Remy looked at him as he approached.

"What are you doing, sweetie?" Cecil asked, dropping down into the grass next to the small boy, who sighed softly at the nickname.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He asked, directing his attention upwards again. Cecil also looked up, but his eyes returned to the side of Remy's face. His typical hard expression was soft at the moment and Cecil thought he was beautiful.

"Thinking," Cecil said and Remy closed his eyes for a moment. "What are you thinking about?" Remy rolled his head to the side to meet Cecil's eyes. "Are you even hungry?"

"No," Remy said softly. "But I wasn't going to tell you that".

"You wanted to see me?" Cecil asked, grinning and Remy's eyes rolled.

"Maybe".

Cecil took a moment longer to smile at the boy before climbing to his feet and brushing his hands off on his jeans. "Come on, sweets. I have a place that we can go".

"Where?"

Cecil held his hand out to him and Remy looked at it for a second before taking it. "Somewhere we can watch the stars better without all these street lights getting in the way". Cecil pulled Remy to his feet, and then slipped his arm around his waist, pulling him close. "And where we can talk". Cecil looked down at Remy to find him staring at Cecil's chest with flushed cheeks.

"Alright," Remy said, clearing his throats his eyes flickered up to Cecil's for a moment. Before Cecil could even think about kissing him, Remy was taking a quick step back and rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Can we go already?"

"Sure thing, beautiful".

***

Cecil drove them to a park with a playground over in the neighborhood he had grown up in, and lent Remy a hand in climbing up to the tallest slide. "Vincent and I used to sneak out and come up here when we were younger".

"Your brother?" Remy asked and Cecil hummed in agreement. "It's beautiful".

"Yeah. It was probably the only thing that we had ever done together, ever". Remy looked down, his hazel eyes Meeting Cecil's pale green eyes.

"There's worse things to do".

"There are also better things," Cecil pointed out and Remy shrugged and looked back up. He shivered. "Are you cold?" It was warm outside, even though the sun had gone down, but Remy shivered again.

"Yeah," the boy said softly. "Just a bit".

"Oh". Cecil slipped out of his sweater and arranged it over Remy's shoulders. His eyes widened.

"What are you-"

"I want you to be warm, and I'm comfortable," Cecil assured, smiling at how tiny Remy looked snuggled up in the oversized sweater.

"Oh," Remy reached for the zipper and pulled it up to under his chin. "Thank you". Cecil pretended not to notice as Remy tucked his face into the fabric and inhaled deeply, his eyes falling closed for a moment.

"Better?" Remy hummed thoughtfully, his eyes opening to look back at the stars. "Can I move closer?"

Remy looked down at him again, his expression blank. Cecil thought he was going to say no; there wasn't much room to squeeze in next to Remy, so they would have no choice but to be pressed tightly together. "Sure". Remy looked back up as his teeth sunk into his lower lip. Cecil grinned an moved towards Remy, pressing his back against the hard plastic of the playground that Remy was leaning against. Their shoulders touched. Remy tensed.

"Do I make you nervous?"

"No," Remy said quickly, and then he sighed. "Well, a little bit, but Sydney assured me that it's in a good way".

"How so?" Cecil questioned softly, his hands curling into fists as his lap as he stretched his legs out in front of him to make more room.

"I don't feel nervous like I'm going to be sick when I'm with you. I feel... tingly. Like I constantly just want you to..." Remy trailed off and sighed, his eyes staying on the sky.

"You want me to what?" Cecil asked, his voice a whisper. They didn't need to talk louder than that to be heard during the still night.

With a shaky breath, Remy held his hand out towards Cecil, his fingers spread slightly. "Touch me".

Cecil's eyes widened for a second before his hand flew forward, grasping onto Remy's fingers before he changed his mind.

Remy's fingers were cold against Cecil's, so he cupped them in his warm palm. "This is alright?" Cecil asked, and when Remy didn't respond he slid his fingers over Remy's palm before slowly trailing them down Remy's arm and then back up again, stopping at the back of his wrist to take his hammering pulse. "You're so soft," He thought out loud, slipping his hand under the sleeve of his sweater that hung loosely off of Remy's arms. He ran his fingers all the way to the inside of his elbow.

"You see?" Remy asked, his voice breathless. Quickly, he reached out and grabbed Cecil's other hand that was still fisted on his lap and forced his fingers open. Then, Remy raised Cecil's hand and pressed it against his own chest before placing his smaller hand over his. "Tingly".

"Do you have feelings for me?" Cecil asked and Remy blinked before sighing and dropping his eyes, as well as his hand. "Hey". Cecil freed his arm from Remy's sleeve and raised both of them to cup the smaller boy's face, tilting it up towards him. "Look at me. It's alright". Remy's hazel eyes were unfocused. "Remy, I really like you".

"Clarke".

"Shh-" Cecil cut in, grinning when Remy's eyes immediately narrowed into a glare. "I'm talking sweetie. You can open your pretty mouth in a moment when I'm finished". Remy's eyes flashed and for a moment he looked as if he couldn't decide between being aroused or being angry. Instead of showing either emotion, his face returned to its normal monotone expression. "Don't do that. You're always so closed off". Cecil's arms dropped to Remy's hips and with little effort lifted the small boy out of his spot and into his lap. Remy let out a soft squeaking noise in surprise,his hands gripping Cecil's shoulders tightly as the older man helped Remy straddle him. "You're so pretty, and you're smart, and you have the most beautiful smile".

"You've never seen me smile".

"I know," Cecil said. "But it's you, so it has to be beautiful".

"Stop," Remy groaned, ducking his head and Cecil smiled.

"You don't really want me too," Cecil pointed out. "It makes you feel tingly".

"This is why I don't voice my thoughts".

"No," Cecil corrected, his hands tightening on Remy's hips. "This is why you should". Remy looked at him then, his face very close, and then he sighed loudly, sliding his hands from Cecil's shoulders to the back of his neck before sliding up into his hair. He made a soft noise of content and Cecil raised his eyebrows.

"It's soft".

Cecil laughed. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Because you've dyed it this dumb color so many times," Remy said, now pulling at the strands. His eyes were shifted to the top of Cecil's head, still examining his hair, but Cecil wanted to continue their conversation.

"Hey," He said softly, his hands moving to soothingly rub up and down Remy's sides. "Look at me".

"I am," Remy pointed out and Cecil's fingers gently squeezed his hips to get his attention. Remy's eyes snapped down to Cecil's.

"Do you like me?"

"Clarke, I-"

"You can say no".

"I can't say no," Remy said. "I'm not going to lie". Cecil smiled at that and dropped his head back against the hard plastic of the playground.

"Then don't".

"You don't get it, Clarke," Remy sighed, leaning back and looking up at the stars again. "I can't tell you that I like you".

"Because you don't?"

"No. I do, and that's the problem," Remy explained and Cecil made a soft noise.

"That's a problem?" He asked and Remy looked down at him then and delivered a small tug to his hair.

"Don't say it like that".

Cecil gave him a lazy smile. "Sorry babe. How else would you like me to say it?"

"I'd like you to not say anything at all for moment, dumbass". He tugged at Cecil's hair again. "I'm talking now". Cecil grinned at him and nodded. "This whole... me liking you, you liking me thing is a problem because I have no idea what I want".

"That's alright," Cecil cut in and Remy's eyes just narrowed. "Sorry".

"I'm not sure that I want a relationship. I don't... I don't know how to open up to someone. And I don't want you to suddenly start... expecting anything from me".

Cecil looked at Remy blankly for a moment before his eyes widened as he understood what was being implied. "Remy-"

"That's how relationships work, Clarke," Remy interrupted and Cecil shifted Remy on his lap so they were even closer together. Remy made a soft noise of surprise.

"Remy, I'd never make you do something you don't want to do," He promised and Remy just sighed, tugging at his hair again.

"You don't understand, Clarke. I'm not talking about you taking advantage of me. I'm talking about our relationship falling apart because you want to and I don't".

"Rem, I-"

"What's the longest relationship you've be in without having sex?" Remy demanded and Cecil bit into his lip. He didn't need to think about it. He'd only been in one relationship where they hadn't had sex almost immediately. Wilson was a virgin at the beginning of their relationship, so they had waited about a week before consummating. "How long have you gone without kissing someone?"

"I haven't," Cecil said, eyeing Remy for a moment. "But there's a first time for everything". Remy snorted, as if amused. "No, I'm serious. I don't need kissing or touching or sex or anything else. I just want you, Remy, and that means I want what you want".

Remy was just looking at him with a blank expression and Cecil was tempted to tell him to open up again, but he instead gave Remy his time to think.

Not much came out of it.

"I don't know," Remy said after a long moment. "I need to think. I need to-" Remy looked down at their position and sighed. "I want to think".

"Alright," Cecil said with a nod. "Do you want to go then?"

Remy looked back up at him, their gazes locking for a long moment before Remy's head shook. "No". His upper body relaxed, his forehead dropping to Cecil's shoulder. "I'd like to stay a little longer".

***

"Well," Cecil said as he pulled up to the curb by Remy's home, "I'm glad we went out, even though we didn't eat".

"Yeah," Remy said absently, leaning back in his seat. "Me too".

It was quiet then, and Cecil looked at Remy, waiting for him to exit the car without a goodbye as he usually did, but he stayed in place, absently chewing his lip.

"I'll walk you up front," Cecil insisted and Remy nodded, clearly not paying attention. He started to the second Cecil's car door opened though.

"Where are you going?"

Cecil just grinned at him and climbed from the car, rounding the front of it and pulling Remy's car door open for him. "Come on, sweets. Your parents car is back and they're probably wondering where you went".

Remy sighed and slid out of the veichel, brushing his hands absently down the front of his black shirt to unwrinkle the fabric. He was standing at his full height beside Cecil, his head barely reaching the taller boy's shoulder and Cecil smiled down at him fondly. "What the fuck are you looking at?"

"Shh," Cecil urged. "Come on pretty boy. I'll walk you to your door".

"Why?" Remy asked, turning away from him and starting up the front walkway. "It's not like someone's going to come and kidnap me, or I'll-" Remy