I didn't sleep well that night. My heart twisted and snarled as I tried to process what had happened. Why did I almost kiss Prince Coleman? As much as I liked to deny it, there was a connection and chemistry between us, a spark—though in that moment it had felt more like a bonfire. I wanted to dislike Prince Coleman. It was easier to hate him than to like him. Because if I liked him then that would make me like every other girl in the country. It reduced me to the sad state of everyone who chased after him in vain. Sure, Dad was right in a sense. Prince Coleman did like me, obviously. If he truly had zero interest, would he have tried to kiss me? No. That was foolish to think.

But there was a difference between him wanting to kiss me and him truly liking me. If the tabloids had taught me anything, it was that a kiss didn't mean a lot to him. He sought sensual pleasure and once he had it, he moved on. Just like that. What if we really had kissed like I'd wanted to so badly in that moment? I would have that momentary satisfaction, and then what? What would the next day bring? The idea of it made my stomach churn.

But amidst the emotions of trying to figure out my feelings toward Prince Coleman, trying to decipher his feeling towards me, one emotion dominated them all.

Guilt.

How could I do that to Luke?

Darling Luke, who was finally starting to come out of his shell. Luke, who was finally gaining more confidence with me. Luke, who had LITERALLY BEEN BETRAYED in almost the exact same way in the past!

What was I thinking? I chastised myself again. I thought that I could flirt with anybody and everybody and there would be no consequences. I acted so selfishly—as though the world revolved around me.

Missus Lucille's words from a couple of weeks ago came drifted back to me.

"It's time to grow up, Cassie."

I had been so annoyed at the time she was said that that I completely disregarded what she'd said. I brushed her comments off and continued about my merry life. What if Luke had found out? What if Luke did find out? It would be the ultimate betrayal! I was so selfish. I only ever thought about myself and what benefited me.

But real life isn't a fantasy. You can't just do whatever you please and expect that no one is going to get hurt, I thought. That's just not reality.

The next morning I was exhausted. I knew I'd have to take a nap after breakfast. I begrudgingly got ready and headed to the kitchen to get Prince Nikolas's breakfast.

"Here you are, Miss Cassie," Chef Jonathan said, passing me the latest silver platter of eggs, sausage and toast. "Think you can survive another day under the Nikotan Prince?"

I just stared at Chef Jonathan for a moment. He was fairly handsome, and all in all I believed he had a good heart, but I was never going to fall for him; and yet I'd gone ahead and played him anyway. I'd flirted with him and met him up in the kitchens at night, undoubtedly instilling him with some hope. And for what? Because it gave me feel good about myself? For the free food?

I'd toyed with him because it was fun.

I was the very thing I despised.

A player.

After breakfast, I took a nap, and while I still felt rather uncomfortable with myself, I was less exhausted then. After dropping off Prince Nikolas's lunch, I went to the dining room to see Ethan sitting at the table. I hadn't seen him for a while, and I felt guilty all over again. His golden green eyes caught mine, but he didn't say anything.

Another victim of Cassie Carmichael.

Maybe I do deserve to fall for Prince Coleman, I thought. The player finally gets played.

After grabbing lunch, I silently sat down with Ivan and wallowed in my self-destructive thoughts as I stared down at my plate blankly and went through the motions of shoveling food into my mouth.

"Hi Cassie!" Luke's cheery voice from across the table snapped me out of my trance, and I looked up to see his shining brown eyes, his cute freckle under the right eye, and his beautiful smile.

He was too good for me. He deserved better than a rotten, no-good player like me.

"What's the matter?" His eyebrows furrowed in concern. "You look downtrodden."

I shrugged. "Just feeling down, I guess."

Luke looked at me carefully. "Why? Did something happen with Prince Nikolas?"

"No, no," I assured him. "It's honestly not a big deal."

"Hmm," Luke sat still a moment. "Well, if you aren't feeling up to it, we don't have to go to the festival tonight."

My eyebrows rose.

Okay, yeah, I was a horrible person and all and Luke deserved better, don't get me wrong, but like...I still wanted to go with him to the festival. Look, just because I had come to a realization today that I needed to change my player ways, it didn't mean that I was perfectly unselfish yet.

"No!" I cried. "I still want to go! I mean, unless you don't want to go?"

"No, that's not what I meant at all," he assured me. "I just didn't want to drag you along if you were feeling unwell, is all."

"Pfft!" I waved my hand carelessly. "I'm fine, okay? I'm super excited to go, you know? So don't worry about me."

Luke smiled. "Alright then. I'll continue to plan on it."

"Great!" I said, excitement and anticipation rising within.

Sure, maybe I should have continued engaging in serious meditation on all my crimes against humanity, but I'm no guru, alright?