Scott

Way to make an impression Scott. I thought to myself while being stuck in traffic on the way to pick Isaac up from the airport. I had one job, and literally the easiest task in the world. Pick Isaac up from the airport. I even messed that up. I cannot believe I didn't double check the text Derek sent me with the pick up time for Isaac. By the time I arrive at the airport I'll probably be a half hour late, which will probably make Isaac hate me even more.

To be fair, Isaac has never explicitly said that he hates me. It's more so the way he acted around me before and after Allison died. He had been so standoffish and weird, which was a change of pace from his usual charismatic and sarcastic self, but when Allison died he became so closed off and it broke my heart.

Maybe he suspected I had feelings for him and that is what made him uncomfortable around me. I did my best to hide my feelings for him, but maybe I made it too obvious and as a result he hates me.

As I'm thinking these thoughts, I can identify that this is just me overthinking and psyching myself out. That's been something I've been struggling with lately, I need to find a better way to ground myself in the moment. It's been hard though, especially in dealing with my sexuality. I do not think that being bisexual is something to be ashamed of, in fact I'm quite proud, but I don't tell anyone because I don't think it is anyone's business except my own and I do not want my friends treating me different because of it.

People have always just assumed that I'm straight when in reality that is not the cause. The assumption is probably because I've only dated girls, in fact the only man I've ever had romantic feelings towards was Isaac, and it is obvious that will never go anywhere because he is glaringly straight. He even dated my ex girlfriend Allison.

When Isaac was back in Beacon Hills I would always try to drop subtle hints that I liked him. I tried to make my feelings for him as clear as possible, but I got no reciprocation. He seemed to make it even abundantly more clear that he was not into me by rubbing salt into my wounds and dating Allison. I could never hold that against him though, I cared for him too much for that. And how could I, he literally asked my permission if it would be okay for him to date my ex, which I readily gave him. I would have done anything for him, and I probably still would.

Everyone could tell that I was upset by Allison and Isaac's relationship, though I would never say so. But they were all wrong in their reasoning as to why I was upset. They thought I was upset because I still had feelings for Allison, but instead I most obviously had feelings for Isaac.

I don't even know why I'm thinking so much about Isaac right now, I have a girlfriend. Kira is an amazing person and an even better girlfriend, and I'm so lucky to have her in my life holding such a significant role. It's just not fair to her that I'm thinking about Isaac again. I should only be thinking about her.

I hate that when Derek said he was going to pick up Isaac from the airport I volunteered to go instead. Yes he's a close friend of mine, but is it so selfish of me to want to spend time alone with him, and be the first familiar face he sees.

While all these thoughts of Isaac were flooding through my mind I hadn't realized I was entering the airport, and approaching the terminal where I was supposed to meet the man occupying my thoughts.

I'm embarrassed to say that my heart fluttered when I laid eyes on him sitting outside on a bench next to the sliding doors with only one piece of luggage. He had a scarf around his neck despite the extremely warm weather, but who am I kidding, it was Isaac and he always had a scarf on.

I pulled my car up to the curb near him and stepped out, walking around to meet him. Except he didn't see me see me, so I called his name, and ended up bumping into him. I apologized profusely, said something relatively embarrassing and then suddenly Isaac wrapped me into a tight and warm hug. I missed this boy so much.

It confuses me how this one boy can have such a tight hold around my heart without even knowing it, that even months of disconnect would not loosen.