16 - Death Wishes

Azoic, Rostov Oblast
North Russia - Russian Fed; Population: 82,356
Romanov's Estate House

Sativa
I blink, slowly prying my eyes open. Letting them fall shut at the darkness that meets my eyes. I stay unmoving, for I am confused at my bearings, but most of all, I am deeply troubled by the thick, tan and muscular arm draped over my lower stomach. I swallowed, the sparks igniting from the touch lets me confirm the owner of it.

I let my eyes slowly trail up the arm, the atmosphere in the room oddly thick and hot as I swallow a second time, my eyes confirming my earlier suspicions of his arm draped across my hips.

Romanov.

I attempt the luxury of sitting up - but, this again is an Alpha King. Being a Beta's child was nothing compared to him. My efforts were futile as his grip on my waist became even tighter than it was earlier. I mentally cursed myself for the tiny moan that manages to escape from my lips as his burrows his head into my neck, his intoxicating scent filling my apt nostrils.

"Get off me," I manage to muffle under my breath. The man seems very deep in sleep, and as he does nothing but stir, I cannot help but watch him in his peaceful, almost private act.

I could tell that I was morning, I wasn't in my dress anymore, and my hair was floating loosely down my shoulders. Thankfully, I had on a black shirt, that I presumed to be his. I sniffed deeply, drunk with his wonderful scent. I should be fully awake, I should be pounding on his back for answers as to how I got in his bed. I should be worried of how he so wonderfully held me in his arms, why I was in nothing but his shirt.

But, I couldn't bring myself to do anything else but stare at the man that lay with me.

He was breathtaking.

His wavy black hair in a tussle above his head. It was starting to grow longer, it now passed his ears, giving him a slightly younger appearance. All the hard creases of his face, all the sharp edges - softened. I firmly hold my hands to my side to keep from running them all over his face. His lips were so soft - well, they looked soft. His lips parting with every breath he took.

God, how I wished his eyes were open. I just wanted to loose myself in the eyes that had looked at me so coldly the day at the diner, when he promised that he'll never be mine - I'll never be his.

Those eyes that killed me the day that he hurt me the first time. Physically - he punched me - and as weird as it may seem, I would take a million other punches from him if it meant that he could love me, as I love him.

I shook my head furiously, "I did not love this man."

Tiny scars littered his face, and it was the first time I had seen them up so close. But, one slightly bigger one, from his left ear to the bridge of his nose stood out.

It stood out like a rose amongst thorns. It stood out like a blessing amongst a thousand curses. I was oddly compelled to it - it wasn't just my human side showing affection for him.

I swallowed, I wanted nothing more that to tell him that I could kiss his past away. That his father cannot dictate his life forever. I wanted to love him, more than I should. I needed him for power, and he did not need me at all. I want to be fine with that, I want to be happy with that.

But, I'm not.

I let my eyes wander to his chest, where most of his pain had inscribed themselves in. I sighed, the man was strong. His mouth-watering, muscle-packed abdomen did nothing but heat my lower regions. I bite my lip at the tattoos and scars mixed in a beautiful, yet warning-me-away sign.

His tattoos - the inkings almost scared me. I didn't understand a word of them.

It held me in, the plain black letterings the I recognized to be Latin, splayed over his chest, all the way up to his right bicep. A single black line ran through these letters, intricately looping its way through the wordings.

His grey sweatpants hung dangerously low on his hips.

I licked my lips and returned my eyes back to his face - this time, his eyes were fully open, thick with sleep as they glared at me.

"It is rude to stare," he growls, I could hear the smugness instilled into his low-baritone, husky voice that never fails to draw me.

I hold back my snarl at his cocky words - if only he knew, "I want to know why I'm in your bed, Romanov?"

"You fainted last night."

I furrow my brows in confusion at him, "Fainted?"

He narrows his eyes, "You do not remember the activities of last evening?"

I shake my head, "No."

I furrow my brows as I think harder, my memory coming up blank. His hands are still enveloped around my waist as I fight to release the contact between us. The sparks were making it hard to concentrate on trying to remember a detail

After a few seconds of stilling, he let me go. I scrambled to the other side of his large bed as he shook his head and turned away.

I shuffle myself against the headboard, summoning my Wolf after endless, futile efforts to regain my sleepy memory about last evening.

"Vienna," I called, but there wasn't a reply. It had been a while since I had shifted, it is common for one's Wolf to drift away if you put off letting your Wolf out. I didn't waver, I knew that she could hear me enough to leave me a patent answer.

I close my eyes as a wave of dizziness hits me. Another common factor as I manage to thank Vienna. A Wolf - mated or not - can send you telepathic messages using your reminisces. It can recall you of your past acts.

I've never tried it before, but I was sure that was what Vienna was trying to send.

I lean my head as the first wave comes, Tonight, March twenty-sixth, was the annual Alpha's meeting. And, it was being held here. I had watched the maids, his guards and the entirety of his household go near mad trying to get everything in order. I hadn't spotted Romanov once today, but it was fine because after my conversation with Vladimir, I didn't feel like facing Romanov - I had learnt a lot. I press my lips into a thin, apt line.

I smile gently at the maid that helped me laced the back as she slips airily out of the room, a smile and a nod in return for my thanks. I walk in front of the full-length mirror, twirling around until I felt dizzy and drunk with glee.

The meeting had long started, and long passed.

Now, it was time to dance.

Vladimir had decided that in order for Romanov to mark me faster, there needs to be jealousy involved. You see, the removal of the curse can only take place during a full moon - one that is said to take place April first. If we don't do it then, the next full moon will be in another Lunar year - roughly seven to eight months or a year, depending on various reels.

I couldn't stop them after that - I didn't even want to.

Keegan twirls me with ease, earning endless smiles from me. It wasn't perfect - only Romanov could make it perfect - but I was close to it.

The music ended with me pressed against his chest, his eyes staring down at me.

They didn't hold lust, or passion - but, they held love.

Not your typical male - female love, but love for a mere companion. It was a love meant for a love, but a love meant for a true sister.

Me?

I looked behind his head, they were all watching. All of them - including Romanov. Maya, in a short, sweetheart-neckline pink dress, she was seated in his lap, his hands planted loosely around her slim hip.

God, I hated her.

Without thinking, I leaned up and kissed him. His lips were soft, but they remained motionless as he his grip loosened on my hip. I winced at that particular memory of Keegan and I.

I pulled away after a few seconds, his lips moving slightly against mine, and my forcing it, only made it harder to pretend that I projected to do that to him.

We walk steadily until we reach a fountain. The snow isn't completely covering the area, but it is enough to create a thin sheet of snow, and to make me shiver idly.

"Here," Keegan drapes his suit jacket over my shoulders as I come to notice Keegan's look. He had on an immaculate suit, with a red tie and plain, black shoes. I want to protest and tell him to keep his jacket, but I wasn't sure that I had the energy to contend with him. I crack a small smile at the reminiscent memory.

Then, he's walking away.

"Who are you?" I narrow my eyes, rising from the bench, my heels aimed at her for the prospect of a weaponry.

At this point, I am confused as to who the woman was.

"So, you say that you will ignore something beautiful, when it does nothing but produce you with sadness?"

I tentatively perched on the bench, suddenly alert of the woman seated opposite me.

"I'm Bridgette."

"I met her," I mumble out loud, I could feel Romanov's eyes penetrating my frame.

Not a doubt in my mind that he knew what was happening to me - as if he had always expected it all.

I sit there, awkwardly playing with my fingers till I realized what she had come for. Blushing slightly, I reach into me bra, feeling around for the piece of paper that I swore I had put there earlier. I frown, checking deeper, my heart-rate speeding as it reality struck me like a hammer on a nail and a miner for gold.

The letter is gone.

This time, my eyes snap open at the relation of my memory. Even with my orbs staring in the darkness, Vienna remained relentless to show me all of the action.

"Well," she sighed, getting up. "I best be on my way now. But, I beg of you. Do not ever let Romanov know that I am alive - never ever."

"Why?" Curiosity asked.

"All will be revealed in time," she smiled, disappearing into the forest where she had come from.

I hastily run up the large stairway, bunching my dress in my hands as I blindly found my way. It hadn't been a second later, that I slammed into a wall.

Making everything go dark.

A light kiss presses against my forehead, sparks flying.

My fingers involuntarily flutter around my forehead.

My mind encased in nothing else but the same letter gripped in his hand, the same one that I was looking earnestly for - in his fingers.

Torn into a million pieces.

Like my heart.

My breathing speeds up as the bits and pieces form out.

I sit there, gathering my thoughts. I pushed my hair away from my face, concentrating on nothing in particular. It was almost as if Romanov had seen everything that I had - his leered question proved that.

"How do you know of her?"

I couldn't deny it anymore, there was no lying to save anyone. He knew that she was alive - it would be stupid of me to keep playing childish games with his self.

I swallowed, "I just found out," I whispered. I couldn't bring myself to slander Kiev - I knew that convenient consequence that came with interfering with an Alpha's private life - an Alpha King's no less. Kiev would surely die and I couldn't let that happen. I wasn't that veered.

"I will ask you again," he snarled calmly, his accent thick like that curtains that blocked the light from his room. "How do you know of her? You will be wiser not lie this time; you are smart."

I shake my head furiously, "I told you, I found some letters in your office, and I read them with no permission whatsoever - I don't know why you won't believe what I am saying; it is nothing but the truth."

"You are lying," he snarls.

I narrow my eyes, "Proof?" I knew that there was plenty of proof against me, but I was too stubborn to relent it.

The growl that enables from his lips stills me. In a second he is up, he towering frame above me as he takes my legs from beneath me, pulling me closer to him. I hold a flinch, his minty, hot breathe fanning my apt lips.

"How do you know of her?"

I don't know whether it's because of the fact that his hands are wrapped so tightly around my waist that I find it hard to breathe, or the fact that his warm, chiseled chest pressed against my small, cold one makes the sparks prevent me from thinking properly.

I am not sure if it is just the heat of the moment, his lips so close to mine, and the fact that his words are laced with power so great, that I can't stop my Wolf from whimpering. It is laced with a thick layer of an Alpha Bloodline that is too strong to ignore. He, after all, is the Alpha of all the Alphas. He is the ruler of the Omegas and the final master of the Rogues. I am a mere Beta's child - nothing to beat him.

I don't know whether it is my fear, or whether it is my arousal. But, my lips move on their own account to whisper one name, "Kiev."

With that, all hell breaks loose. My eyes widen on their own accord as he growls with such ferocity, that I cannot help the shiver that runs along my back.

I bring a trembling hand to my lips as he extracts his body from mine, taking away the heat and security that he brought with him. I watch as he growls again, his muscles bulging and his eyes blacker than they have ever been. Then, they turn blue - such an electric blue that I have a hard time looking away. He trains them on me as he shifts into a snarling, large black Wolf.

I attempt to swallow the thick knot in my throat as he barks so loudly, that my ears recoil in pain. I knew that nobody could hear us, this was the South Quarters - the Alpha's Quarters. That meant that there was nothing of civility, it was all the way on the other side of the house. The room was also seemed soundproof - so, with the numbers of guests that had stayed over after the event, there was no one to help me - if I needed help.

I watch him.

-

© V.L Khan